Charha De Rang

Why are small towns small towns? Why are big towns big towns. History of a nation is shaped with each passing year and so is history of its people and towns big and small. Small town people are discriminated against by the big town people and that discrimination starts flowing in the veins of the small town people and they start hesitating, in even with a fat wallet, in going to The Leela, The Taj. A hesitation flowing in the veins, and as one stands at a paan shop outside the big hotel smoking a cigarette he gets a peek into lives of those who occupy the comfortable rooms in these big hotels. Discrimination is like a plague, it spreads, like when small town people are discriminated against by the big town people they in turn start discriminating against the village folk, but village folk as the evolution has taken place for the most part are shameless except the shameful ones which are in equal amounts in big towns, small towns and villages and equal amounts means by percentage. Why are small towns small towns because of shame that has no basis in character and this little things is not visible at the outlook, a passerby would look and conclude that shame here has a basis in character, not really. It's just that life here is not composed of pulling the skirt up but just pulling up the lehenga with a remote. A small town boy goes to a big town and meets no one and yet discrimination starts flowing in his veins. How does discrimination starts to flow in veins when he met no one, no one at all. He sits in his hostel room, with a pack of cigarettes and chainsmokes and it reminds him of the time when he was again in a hostel room conjuring up thoughts of playing a guitar and sometimes actually playing the guitar as chicken cooked in on the gas stove in the balcony. That's what the big town does he forces people to smoke and be ashamed over the utensils used for the cooking of chicken which unfortunately is a humble pressure cooker. The night sky watches the chicken and the steel ladle reflects the face of the chef. For the big town the chef is the chicken just as the chicken is the chicken for the chef. As the National Security Guard deploy for the ones in Taj, black cats in the small towns do their leela, a future is carved with promises but in truth isn't that promising. The big town swallows the small town whole and delivery agent comes with the parcel, a remote for lifting the lehenga. 

Gonzo Turn

This blog was created so that I could talk about my interests and then it veered into the deep politics of India, well, because I had my experiences and then the content ended up becoming sensitive of course because the subject matter was sensitive. I had thought that I was done with deep politics of this land quite a few posts before but then I realised I have some more content and so I ended up writing a little more and while I think I'm done with deep politics of India I would probably end up writing few post here and there in the course of weblog. When I realised that I have made this blog into an adult blog due to subject matter I pondered on what I can write about that would justify its adult nature because since I have crossed the line of parental guidance there is no going back and I can't really go back to only keep writing about my interests and writing. I do write prose poetry on this blog and they end up, a lot of time, turning extreme. I think gonzo journalism, like Hunter S. Thompson or Vice would be a good thing to explore. I had a tumblr blog project called Lonewolf Project in the late 2000s and early 2010s and then I had a project called NoirMemoir where I used to filter my experiences through a noir lens. I will continue to write about writing and about my interests but gonzo journalism and exploring it seems to be a pretty interesting idea, it is a type of journalism and in a country where real journalists are either sellouts or doing a shitty job of their job it kind of seems like a useful thing to do. We live in a time of content and of course in time my writing will end up turning into content. The major thing is where would I find topics for this “content” and I'm keeping my fingers crossed for getting them if not regularly then frequently. One can have any opinion about this country but my personal opinion is that while there are so many beautiful things about this country this country is a rapey shithole at the base and for a person like me the base and base reality is extremely important. Although writing is redundant for me now and in general for those who are political aware, I still write because it is my hobby and a source of recreation and I hope that I ended up writing something worthwhile. 

Endurance

I would like to work on fiction but that's incredibly hard today. I still have plans thought I know that they won't be executed as good as I would want them. I have an idea what a human life can be reduced to and unfortunately by individuals totally undeserving of the powers they have and this is because people grow up thinking it is the deserving who have the power when it is not at all true. My life personally is great and I can't complain and above all I have been lucky enough to get acquainted with the base truth of the world and after that happens you just focus on living life a day at a time, a moment at a time. There are movies like Citizen Kane and American Beauty that deal with the futility of life, they are wrong because life is futile only because of the deep slavery that people live in and the ones who had written these possibly thorughly depressed and anhedonic despite having everything. The truth is that the slavery is artificial and even though things can get worse in future and the grip can tightened even more so much that the little freedom one can salvage becomes impossible to salvage, just the knowledge that the slavery is artificial is enough. Nature is absolutely beautiful and while I was able to salvage a piece of myself, a piece that is not enslaved, I realised how important nature is. One has to try to disconnect nature from culture and politics and see it as its own entity. Culture as I ended up realising is also politics and since I realised that my actual culture has been decimated there is nothing more left for me to grieve for and I realised as soon as direct slavery became possible culture, as a way of people's lives was discarded except as branding that is used to shame people and chain them to a place that was supposed to be their home but now it is just a penal colony. My culture has been corrupted at its base and only the superficial workings of it remain, the language, the stereotypes, the dogmas without the substance and as I ended up realising that it was all due to hatred and stereotypes. People who are not selfish can be manipulated on the basis of right and wrong, while the selfish would choose themselves no matter whether they are right or wrong, the selfless need to make amends for their wrongs even if they are unintentional. The good news is that we are at a point in evolution where they do not have to make amends. The evil have taken over and by evil I mean absolutely narcissitic, psychopathic evil and while this might be the case since forever, the grip wasn't as tight as it is now. Culture is redundant except for being a tool for humiliation ritual, nature still remains. It is all just an exercise into how stupid, greedy and incompetent individuals destroy everything and so fear is of no use. Life in any form will remain. Saplings will still grow. The thing to know is that happiness is the base state of a human being and being close to nature and being in touch with it is important. The Japanese have the concept of nature spirits, and while they may or may not be real the idea of them gives a respite from the artificiality the people live with. Man is the only animal that takes pleasure in pain of others. Other than them all animals only kill for food or mating rights. And if man hadn't been able to learn this since thousands of years, that is not going happen. The earth is beautiful and nature makes it so, and while the universe remains out of reach for those who have realised the slavery and extent of it even in the absolute absence of God faith heals and faith helps one to endure. When fiction becomes redundant to a fiction writer that is a stage where he must improvise something new, something that is more than just fiction. There is no magic coming to save anyone, just like there is no one coming to pay your hospital bills. 

Churan

The fact that I ended up knowing that this country as it was envisioned post independence has collapsed from within. Institutions persist but they are just for show. What really governs this country is impunity and it's not only in the hinterlands but everywhere and especially those who project class and superficial manners and even those who project benevolence, it's all just projection when the real truth is entitlement without qualification and impunity. The most baffling thing that I ended up realising was that the big people of this country aren't quite big enough and that the nation in actuality at the base is governed by an army of rapists whose primary qualification is being a rapist and only the secondary qualification is whatever they are supposed to do if at all they are qualified. I would surely hope that this is not the Brahminical patriarchy the feminists talk about because the arrangement, excuse my language, primarily gives blowjobs to Muslims, the rich and whites. I hesitate in calling it the arrangement of this nation because I have my doubts about the national nature of it, it might very well be a global arrangement but then the truth that I ended up seeing is that this very arrangement micromanages lives of people and families and controls the culture so it doesn't matter if it is global in nature if it is acting hyperlocally. I had been asleep with my career ambitions and my life goals up till 2019 and it is around 2019 that I woke up to the greater happenings of this country and I ended up realising that not only everything that I loved about this country has been destroyed, people, especially those who are not privileged, live in absolute micromanaged and individualised totalitarianism that social engineers your lives. Chances are, post the 90s, the people you came across, and relationships you made didn't happen organically, my issue however was not the totalitarianism it was the kind of individuals who have been given access to lives of people and families in this country, they are lower class criminal rapists with genocidal intent and it confirmed to me that whatever rules this nation in actuality doesn't bother about the well being of people, that people are just resource to it, just like a poultry farm. It is here my belief in the cultures of this country and its civilizational past collapsed. I ended up realsimg that the base reality of this country is rape and exploitation and that too mindless and so is the social engineering. Your life can be directed by Sooraj Barjatya or Rocco Siffredi depending on your privilege though the base reality over which all reality stands is again directed by Rocco Siffredi. I realised that the deep state of this country is essentially a criminal syndicate but the most tragic thing was realising that it is not even classy as the Yakuza or the Mafia, these motherfuckers are all over the place and doing anything thing to anyone which present to people as fate or God's will, while the government and national institutions keep doing performative formalities. Life of most people is just delaing with pumped fear in various forms and pumped lust variations of it, essentially Pavlovian psychology and the condition of lower class women is terrible. I had started to think that village people are worse than city people but then I came across this arrangement and I realised that this setup begins at villages and these motherfuckers are actively destroying village communities. It's not paranoia for me at this point because I have seen this arrangement and I realised that what awaits for people in this nation, especially for the majority, is totalitarian slavery while the drama of democracy keeps going on. 

Bharat Cabret

I consider myself a quite obedient and law-abiding person who is disinclined to rebellion except in the mosh pit of a metal concert or listening to Rage Against The Machine. My only political opinion is dignity for people but then I realised that we are living in times where people who listen to Rage Against The Machine can be persecuted just because they listen to Rage Against The Machine without any scope for nuance or context and this persecution is not even employed uniformly, some individuals are exempt from it while others bear the brunt for their preferences and I realised that this is the case because the real power in this land is informal and employs uncultured and uncouth criminals as surveillance. I have see shit for quite a while now and the rabbit hole goes too deep though it gets simplified only when one sees that at the base there are just two things sex and money and everything else culture, traditions religion, human relationships which were earlier real however imperfectly are now just noise above base truth of sex and money. I got to understand that it is not a BJP problem and this informal and yet omnipresent network of “governance” which is basically a bunch of rapists doing anything to anyone and making them bear the burden of their delusions which are totally not based on facts and this is when these motherfuckers have absolute access to facts so much so that the truth of, if not the world, then this country can be audited. I ended up seeing gargantuan levels of retardation in the past decade and I realised that the real actual model of governance of this country, which can be extended to rest of the world too, is a gang of rapists collaborating to be able to rape with impunity and prey on people. I know I sound like a communist but then when one realises that they can lose autonomy on their own body and mind what they say in response would actually sound communist. Unfortunately I ended up realising that the world has always been this way just that the new breed of those who control things especially in this country is incompetent and impune along with the older generation of controller habituated of extreme control not being able to deal with the societal changes that were inevitable due to corporate greed. I was a fiction writer and I realised that whatever media in this country is official including books is strictly controlled just not at a level that is visible and this is why the comics industry as well as fiction of this country except fiction of rich housewives is dead. And surprisingly comics from Marvel and DC and novels from foreign authors flourish. In some times it is going to be visible that there are only two classes in this country that is the master class and the slave class and the slave class would again be stratified into numerous strata and while the master class wouldn’t have any caste, for the slave class castes would be used for divide and rule purpose. It's “dogs and Indians not allowed” but these motherfuckers aren't even as kind as the British to put up proper boards so that people don’t go where they are not welcome in fact they have a habit of inviting people they don’t like and insulting them. A lot of things have changed in the past decade and a lot of work has been done. The Internet has been commercialised and weaponised and made into a propaganda machine actively peddling superstitions and fake news for the masses. Science and scientific method has lost its credibility. I know that it is not BJP. It is also BJP but not just BJP. The BJP Congress drama is just drama and I take it like that. What truly matters is money, family, knowledge, if you can sift it from the misinformation, nature and night sky. Higher education has lost it value except of course for social validation and ornamental purposes. 

High Castlemania

Between God, if He or She exists, and people, there exists a layer of impunity that presents itself as fate to most people. I don't know if this layer between God and people consists of mindless impunity in other countries too but I know it's true for India as I have spent a considerable amount of time with it. It is here the grand narrative of the civilization and past of this country built by decades of Congress propaganda collapsed and the symptoms of which are visible in how people of this ancient civilization behave on social media which was impossible to know before the internet. This layer of existence which consists of mindless impunity in this country at least, is almost omniscient and almost omnipotent and without this almost I wouldn't have survived. This layer has its regional variations and from where I'm originally from it believes in completely disarming people of knowledge, information and truth and depriving them of their needs while still baiting them in their deprived state so that they can be framed for a spectacle for the society to enjoy. This thing happens everywhere though just in a more refined manner. The whole thing thrives on consipiratorial metaphysical constructs and since it is India it is very much dependent on relationships, once you decide to delete relationships from the picture the seams start to become visible. I find it funny that motto of this country is Satyamev Jayate - truth always triumphs, when this country, as I was privileged, and not in a good way, to see in the past decade that it is solely based on lies which again are based on false manufactured facts and not even truth, I mean a good propaganda machine would at least have lies based on actual truth though it is not surprising because the whole setup is populated by moral and intellectual cretins who are essentially criminals. We know the American accounts of Nazi Germany, which may or may not be true, and it is important to know that there is an arrangement of individualised Nazi Germany and you can be transported in it not based on any facts but just false accusations. The game is simple, repeat a lie so consistently that it starts seeming true even to the one about whom that lie is, this is textbook gaslighting. What mediates between God and people in this country doesn't have a moral compass, conscience or empathy and it is where this arrangement which essentially deals with intelligence fails because empathy is absolutely essential for intelligence, especially the political kind. In the past decade I was able to see and realise that life of people in this country is composed of impunity and mindless manipulation which they end up believing as fate or their own fault because they are gaslighted and victim blamed into it. It means people suffer the consequences of things that they didn't even do and those who practice impunity not only do not have any consequences they are also rewarded for it. The best part is that this setup majorly judges people based on what they eat, wear and how they look and speak and how physically weak or strong they are which is exactly how a predator judges its prey and when the prey becomes aware of his predation then it is bombarded with false accusations and nitpicking within him or her. The best part is that this setup is purely politicosocioeconomic and this raises important questions like whether this country is actually independent and autonomous? Because if it is autonomous it is a shame because these kinds of things should only happen in a country if it is colonised. 

Rain Basera

Keeping healthy mentally is extremely important and one of the most important tool for keeping mentally healthy is a journal. Journals help you define your problems and and to find your voice. In uncertain political times it is very important to find your true voice. One other important habit is asking yourself questions regarding your problems and it is advisable to do it vocally. Problem definition and problem resolution or conflict definition and conflict resolution is extremely important. Needless conflicts takes up your mental energy  and stalls your understanding of the situation. Instead of some vague idea troubling you you need to define the problem to make it concrete and then resolve it in a manner you can do and same should be done with internal mental or psychological conflicts. The deep politics of this country thrives on creating conflicts within people especially related to people and relationship and induce things like survivors guilt and weapnisation of your own conscience against you to create guilt and guilt tripping you so that you keep wallowing in that guilt. It's all about thoughts and ideas and relationship so it is, in this country, advisable to keep only those relationships that are worth suffering for other than survival based transactional relationships. You get mental health issues in the country so that you can't recover, mental health is part of the politics which is unfortuantely biopolitical in nature and it controls what you eat, when you shit, whom you fuck and all the other things. Fate will take its course but you have to be mindful of it. If you have defined your problem or conflict and its resolution is not possible then stoic and dignified suffering remains the only answer, though the country we live in doesn't believe in dignified suffering you can however be stoic. In majortity of cases the more conscientious you are, the more you will suffer because the panopticon is aware of your conscience and in most cases the exploitation and weaponisation of one's conscience is direct because the panopticon exploits any weakness like illness, poverty, secrets, handicaps, lack of self-confidence or self-esteem or for that matter any weakness under the sun and conscience is a weakenss and it is mostly either hereditary or value based inculcated in one's childhood. What rules this land preys on people and feeds on their suffering and this predation turns into persecution once one becomes aware of the source of their suffering and then the floodgates of identity politics open about religion, caste, family history, that little thing you stole in your childhood or something else for that matter or framing or entrapment of a political nature like branding people communist or witch or some other stigmatised thing happens. The important thing is that your subconscious or unconscious is safe and only the things you want from your consciousness which at this point becomes totally sociopolitical enter your subconscious, the recommendation is that the conflicts should only enter as examples and not as internalised guilt. Plus you should build your sanctuary in your subconscious, your winter wonderland, your oasis and do not do it consciously and you don't even need to build it in your conscious mind, just keep giving yourself suggestions to do that and regularly until bliss becomes a background state no matter how much turmoil your conscious mind is in. It's advisable to choose a deity of your choice and depend on him or her, mine are Saraswati and Chamunda. 

Harvest

You can have your winter wonderland in your mind, but it is incredibly hard to do that if it is Mordor in your head. In 2013 I was of the opinion that I must expose my mind and body to elements, physical as well as mental and that was my way of making myself tough. I ended up realising that in the country we live in that is going to happen anyway and exposure to elements is never going to end, especially criminal and bureaucratic elements. The privileged live in their bubbles and one should be happy for the good ones among the privileged. I exposed myself to transgressive fiction only to realise that all reality is transgressive at the base and no one is exempt from the base reality except that they don't know it and the bubbles of delusions protect them from the transgressive reality they walk with. I had decided to shatter my delusions because my suffering was intense and I wanted to know the cause of my suffering and the cause of my suffering was so cheap, politics and weaponisation of lower class against people better than them by the actual upper class, that it baffled my mind and so the grand narratives of suffering that I had in my mind and my belief in a cosmic providence shatterred. What rules this nation not only hoards beauty for itself but also deletes beauty from the lower classes of this country and that means for having something else than Morder, something beautiful like a winter wonderland you'd need to have an unwritten license. When the truth arrives each village of this country, each district and each commissionary starts to behave like a dictatorial, totalitatrian and extractive feudal kingdom with it's own consitution which the people who are extracted don't know. What is extracted? Data and vibes. It was unbelievable at first but then I realised harvesting of data is a business of its own and then I realised how much the  people can be tortured for the simplest of things and then I saw the schadenfreuede from misery and suffering of people is a currency of its own and is a source of sadistic pleasure and something what rules this land feeds on. After seeing the grand narratives of karma, religion and sin collapse what remained was extremely simplified though suffering can still arrive wearing the cloak of sin and karma but it is not authentic it's just torture for some petty reason like baseless hate crime or for sadistic pleasure or entertainment while the victim is victim blamed for their suffering being their own fault. Those who deliver karma and justice or actually torture in form of karma and justice which anyway is not delivered to actual sinners and criminals as they thrive. It's pure exploitation but there is nothing that can be done about it except for knowing that suffering is not one's own fault. 

Kadaknath

Spirituality is real but the most unfortunate part is that politics that governs our lives can completely engulf it and I have known this personally and so I know that majority of those who preach spirituality in this country are liars and charlatans because I personally know that there is no possible way spirituality in this country and the world can exist without the permission of politics. I have my doubts about existence of a God especially the kind the society told us growing up but I know that faith is as powerful as any God only that it empowers from within. Here is the blunt fact about current existence: all existence is political, even what happens in your bedroom, it's just that you didn't know about it and in countries like India the worst possible scum you can imagine are entitled to knowing what happens in your bedroom. When I realised this which I now know as fact, India as a country, the way I knew it ended for me. The modern existence in this country is just like a robot, input, processing and output and unfortunately if the politics interferes in your life, the processing and output part might end up not belonging to you and so it is here it is important to be able to develop the ability of introspection and metacognition but one should always keep in mind that at its base this country runs on Pavlovian psychology by manipulating people directly through fear and lust and baiting them through greed. Fear can come in various forms including intimidation and blackmail. When you observe the pattern of fear and lust in your life you understand what actually this country is all about. My grief is not that these motherfuckers are demonic, as structures of other countries too are the same, my grief is that these motherfuckers are inferior and incompetent and consequently infinitely cruel to people who can't protect themselves and when someone recognizes the pattern they entrap them by falsely accusing them of some shit like communism. In this country, religion is only left as vibes. It's just vibes at this point and ideals of Lord Ram and Wisdom of Lord Krishna has died long back back. The rich motherfuckers don't even believe in anything except sex and alcohol and of course exploitation of totally helpless through lower class criminals proxies and religious charlatans. We live in times in this country when you can't trust the thoughts in your head or your feelings and emotions but the best thing I was able to realise that people possess psychic immunity just like immunity of the body and if they are careful they can make out their real self from the political influence, it's extremely hard but it's the evidence that the political influence on the mind is artificial as the mind as soon as it becomes aware of the political infestation rejects it. Awareness is the key. As I ended up realising there is a whole world at the psychic plane, it's artificial but it's there. In India since I have had the experience of needless persecution I realised that where there should be crown chakra, there is a harem and it's all essentially about sex and money and at least in Purvanchal where I am from the singularity of existence from the perspective of what administers lives of people is rape. When you peel the collective subconscious of this nation you would find nothing but rape as power has already been cemented and all the morality and religion is just performative. 

Commode

My bafflement about this country arrived when I realised that those who have absolute power and access over people are still cynical towards them especially in places like Purvanchal which is essentially, not at the visible plane, a mafia dictatorship at the psychological plane. What would a normal man assume, that administration is about good people knowing how criminals function but in the country we live in it is essentially criminals knowing how good people function so that they can be exploited. It was truly baffling to realise that individuals in power are cynical about people who they have complete access and absolute control of, and as far as Purvanchal goes I ended up realising that it is covertly run by individuals who think themselves entitled of raping people and making their personal decisions and very unfortunately not only they are not competent but also are whimsically doing anything to anyone. My culture has been totally destroyed by now and it's funny that during early 2010s I used to think that culture of this country is overseen by the culture ministry of Government of India unfortunately I realised that cultures of this land are orphaned and have succumbed to mindless exploitation and rape. The deep state especially in Purvanchal, and I don't know about the rest of the country, is composed of local crime bosses who to my absolute bafflement I ended up realising also have access and control of people's personal autonomy. I would have a different thought about this country but fortunately for me I ended up witnessing in the early 2013s that the ruling class of this country is essentially comprador elite who essentially sell the people who were supposed to be theirs and prey on them. When totalitarianism, predation and social engineering is on psychological plane the drama of democracy can go on forever. The last straw for me was when I realised that the worst kind of criminal scum whom you won't allow a hundred kilometres near your family have access to your and your families history and thus people are existentially blackmailed unfortunately for these motherfuckers, I had nothing to be blackmailed for but the thing to be to be understood is that at present concepts like respect, dignity, culture, honour and integrity do not exist in this country and since the deep state of this country is populated by lower class rapist criminals employed by the same comprador elite who sell the same people who were supposed to be their own and pimp their lives for making more money. The most unfortunate thing is that assholes who were supposed to be artists, those who make entertainment for people too are zero integrity uncreative voyeurs. The government is nowhere in the picture except performative administration and welfare which does absolutely nil for a common man except making him run pillar to post for the simplest of things. 

Superhero Landing

I still remember the good times when I had thought that I would end up becoming a physician-writer. The plan back in the day I had for the novel that I wanted to write was kickass. The concept was exciting. Unfortunately the country and the world changed so much that that concept is not feasible now. The country that I ended up seeing, that concept now will never be applicable and believable unless and until the story is set in a different universe or dimension. Those were good times when one could actually imagine. I actually have comics from that era and there was hope in those comics, of new stories, of mythmaking. Comics are the only media that don't require a big budget to show grand narratives and I say show because in novels you have to imagine what you read. I have gone through severe politically induced cognitive decline and so writing anything more than a short story or flash fiction in the political environment we are living in is a big deal and so I wonder if I would ever be able to write what I had planned but I do keep adapting to times and now am writing a depressive sort of magic realist novella. It's sad that given the political situation of this country Indian comics and graphic novels are done with and there doesn't seem any scope for homegrown stories anymore. The mystery and mythicality of this country is done with and unfortuantely I have had the bad luck to know why. I don't know if any sort of mythmaking would work in this country anymore including superhero movies and that is a thing to be seen. What we are seeing is the result of stifling of homegrown voices and while here and there new comicbooks take shape they will soon die down if no one would read them. The main reason I ended up realising behind this is deprivation, deprivation of people of food for thought and since I have seen, in Purvanchal, deprivation at the level of physical needs it doesn't really surprise me. The food for thought from this is that this is how totalising the politics, or should I say, the deep politics of this country is. 

Shantih

The way I have experienced this nation, the greatest gift that you can give yourself and your family is extreme simplification. I have seen illness personally and so during college I gravitated towards minimalism but existence in the nation we live in, if you go deeper, demands something more than materialistic minimalism. The reality that I ended up seeing unfortunately or fortunately requires you prioritise important things and I repeat this often in my writings and you can prioritise them in any order to retain meaning in your life. They are family, money, your work, job or profession, knowledge, nature, night sky, and your genuine interests and hobbies if there are any. Relationships are important for social and financial security but I have realised that the end goal of whatever truly rules this nation is ultimate dispossession of people and producing what can be only called as lonely crowds. It's better to have courteous formal transactional relationships with people then increasing the number of relationships in your life than you already have because ultimately you won't be able to manage them. I'm Purvanchal and I realise that whatever rules Purvanchal actively gatekeeps knowledge and skills from people and actively manipulates and sabotages relationships and finances of people and social engineers their lives and mostly from behind the cover of religion, it is essentially a criminal syndicate which is connected to the greater nation directly so the greater nation can't be too far from this. Knowledge of this arrangement demands radical simplification of life. Also, the truth is that you can't trust your thoughts, emotions and feelings and even sensations, this is true for Purvanchal and I don't know how true is it for the rest of this country. So you need to wait after a thought, emotion, feelings or sensation and then respond to it. Logic then becomes very important for existence in this country, also what you feel about other people needs to be logically vetted. The most important skill in the present political times is metacognition. To be ablet think about your thought or thinking. Indian people were originally community oriented and so majority of the manipulation is based on relations and manipulation of relations. I ended up realising that these motherfuckers at this point are doing anything to anyone and giving it the name of fate. Fate is real-time and it can change depending on who ends up seeing your face and whether he or she likes it or not and it has nothing to do with the kind of person you are, the kind of life you have lived or anything for that matter. I decided to write because I was, due to my professional training, prepared for what was coming but I realised that good people and weak people aren't really prepared for the structure which essentially employs lower class rapist criminals as an intimate intelligence as well as providence and although there is not much that can be done about a person's fate, knowing that it is not one's own fault as well as what if happening for oneself is important. Have no doubts it is your local mafia, contractors, godmen, businessmen and politicians connected in a multilevel manner with the big leagues and your fate for the most part has been decided by a local rapist from your area until and unless it is altered in real-time plus the normal uncertainty about the life. These motherfuckers deleted my culture which was present until the 90s. It's a megalomania and common people can't do anything about it accept extreme simplification of their lives and deciding to have fun and if possible make good memories.God is nowhere in the picture other than your fate and it's purely feudal-corporate politics with the government working as its arm. Like I say, this arrangement is older than BJP and has been present throughout the Congress times and will outlive both and Bullet Trains are going to make no difference in the lives of common people. 

Jantar Mantar

Sometimes life comes to a standstill, all that remains then is to earn a living, exist and if you are stupid, procreate. Who would have thought that Black Mirror is real? Not me. I didn't think that and I also didn't think that I was special enough to feel it personally and in real-time. Turns out whether you are special enough is not decided by you and it doesn't matter that what is special in you is just your professional skills. I'm personally stupid enough to procreate because I valued family pressure over the crime of ruining a totally innocent life by bringing it in the world to get consumed by its demonic machinery but in the country we live in family pressure can make you do things worse than this. As far as having professional skills go, I can heal people in the things I set my mind on knowing to heal but then I realised that the whole game is keeping people unhealed. The whole point is profoundly sick people being in conflict with each other to create the friction to keep the machine of production and consumption moving. It's funny that I was an advocate of privacy until in 2013 my emails got hacked, my social media got hacked and ultimately the kicker came in that not only internet privacy doesn't exist, even personal autonomy is questionable. After struggling with my personal autonomy for quite a few years I was able to salvage enough that now if someone holds me responsible for my thoughts, speech and actions I would agree that I'm at least sixty percent responsible, not because my autonomy is sixty percent but because I have enough control to control what I let out from my mouth and and actions, thoughts still are like Buddhist masters say, monkey. I'm not such a big person that I'll be believed if I say that my original writings and researches have been stolen and when I realised this intimate exploitation I decided that the only things that would come out of me will be awareness, entertainment, healing and instruments and methods of salvaging one's soul because I ended up realising that in this country the rot exists at the level of soul and a lot of good people's souls have been damned because they have been dragged to hell by force, coercion or baiting. Money was never important to me except daily hand to mouth and financial security so it was hard for me to believe that it is the rich, but then I spent more than a decade with it and realised that it is in fact the rich, not all the rich but the ones who are really there and they have absolute edge in power dynamic and essentially they are God. It is also how I realised that indigenous religion of this country has collapsed from within except for being a tool of control and now only exists within the acutal faith of the pious people of this country while the real religion of this country, not now but since quite a while and from the things that I have seen probably since the independence, is rape.  The arrangement that I ended up seeing was that everyone is raped all the time and while one can deduce that if a third world country like India can have this arrangement then it is a global arrangement though the West didn't promise its citizen the sacred like the shithole we live in did. Also, I wouldn't have called this intimate "administrative" arrangement rape if I wasn't ultimately sure that it is in fact rape because the intent itself is rape and it took me more than ten years to make sense of it, and all throughout the more than ten years the common thread has been rape and exploitation and soul torture and social enginerring and mindlessly and whimiscally. One of the methods used is making a person doubt their own way of thinking, in psychological speak this process is known as gaslighting. I have had a little trauma in my life and so I doubted maybe I adapted wrongly that I enjoy rock music and graphic novels, maybe I wasn't supposed to enjoy these things and I kept on deleting things, my interests and hobbies from my life until I realised that it is in fact a mechanism of making people dispossesed. The whole point of living in a free democratic country is that you can adapt in any way you like except illegal ways of course but here exactly the things are inverted because I ended up realising that people are actually ruled by criminals and genocidal rapists and while young boys and girls get into trouble for practicing freethinking, these motherfuckers freely think and commit rapes and genocides  sporadically in this nation. I ended up realising that there is no future of this country except the one where the majority lives in a totalitarian slavery with an ill fate and a select minority where everything including receational rape and recreational murder is allowed. It might all look a bit crazy but that's the whole point of it, the truth looking so bizzare that it looks crazy. I have been to the deep end and came out of it, sane and with my priorities straight. Nothing matters except, money, family, nature and night sky. You can do all the protest you want to but the structure predates BJP and has been present throughout Congress times and will outlive both of them. If you are intelligent you'd focus on having fun and loving your family as much as you can. 

Gorakhdhandha

It is about when  a man ends up witnessing the absolutes of modern human existence. And when that happens one relises what actually has meaning. When you see that you realise what actually has and gives meaning to a person. When everything can be co-opted, weaponised and exploited only thing that remains that makes a human human is breathing. What would one do when one's family, the very basis of their socio-political existence, is weaponised against them. What would one do when they are prevented from feeling  the nature and the night sky, the only unmediated things left in the socio-politicoeconomic setup. Even the only unmediated things in the world end up getting mediated when one's ability to experience and feel is colonised. The cherry on top arrives when one realises that all these things are being done by individuals who have no idea what they are doing, they are incompetent and entitled and not only they have zero idea what they are doing but also they are whimsically doing anything to people and making them carry the  burdens of their baseless whims. I know this shit first hand, not only I have carried a very local version of baseless whimsical hatred but also saw  it expanding into hasty generalisations and ended up realising that this is what the truth of fate is in this nation. People's fates are based on whims, and it was baffling for me to realise that they are not some learned capable men but petty criminals. It was baffling to realise that petty and incompetent criminals write the fates of people in this country and I ended up contrasting what I really thought about this country and what I really ended up witnessing. Here is an example, imagine you are dissecting a frog in biology lab, you should ideally know what you are doing, for your knowledge of course but also because a creature lost its life so that you could learn. I ended up witnessing that what rules this nation doesn't even bother to know what it has done and keeps doing to people. People's lives have even less value than a lab frog or rat while the narrative projects that it is not the case and that people are important. The best part of it all is that I have seen it first hand and so I write my account of the witness. I ended up witnesssing a purely hate based whimsical parasitism as well as predation and by totally low value scum of high value people. How is value decided, one would ask? It is, as I have expressed, decided by a person's contribution and the potential of contribution to the society and also how peaceful they are. The setup as I have witnessed is radicalising totally peaceful people through baseless and whimsical torture and exploitation and then hunting them down as radicals. The power dynamic is so absolute that even the radicals are being manufactured and the best part is what rules this country has empathy for psychopaths, narcissists and criminals, until I witnessed the setup I believed in general consensus that psychopaths and narcissists are incapable of empathy, but it was revelation when I realised that they can in fact empathise with their own kind and gang up for their surival and it is here I ended up realising that such gangs decentralised and yet connected, are what is running the nation in actuality. 

Shitshow Broadway

I ended up seeing the invasiveness of politics in personal lives of people and how it destroys family cultures which the head of the families develop with so much effort. Culture ultimately became the scapegoat of sex and socioeconomics. I'm a free man because I have seen the death of my culture, I have seen the corpse of my civilization and defilement of my indigenous religion. What matters to me now is doing my work and having fun and frankly this is what remains for every good person in this country if they are aware enough of what has happened to the nation. Relationships other than those important for survival are totally useless and would only increase one's suffering so it is important to mark the relationships that aid in one's survival and the relationships worth suffering. Self-care and things like yoga and pranayama important, though I have came to the realisation that meditation is totally useless in the political times we live in. Instead of meditation practicing metacognition is much more useful. Reading is a thing of past but reading is recommended especially good books and especially late 19th century and early 18th century literature. I'm personally done with social media but I do read YouTube and Instagram comments because they are the only places of organic human connection left, Facebook in this country is reserved for individuals whom the structure thinks of as beasts and Facebook comments if you end up reading them are totally useless opinions about essentially nothing. X (formerly twitter) is majorly used by propagandists and at least in India there isn't any genuine interaction left there. If you want to know what people actually think, Instagram and YouTube comments are the place. I, due to my experiences in the past decade realised that predation and political hitjobs in this country come from the same location and I really hope that it's not the government intelligence of this country because then it would humiliating because there isn't an ounce of intelligence in this setup and it would raise questions on the competence of the intelligence establishment of this country, anything else like a feudal-corporate deep state or a globalist deep state is fine with me. 

Pipe Dream

We live in times where it is hard to find what is real and what isn't. One of the reasons for this, and I realised when I became mature, is because the confusion acts a shield for the crimes ones in power do. I came in contact with the deep state of this nation in 2012-13, though the deep state of Purvanchal has been walking with me since quite a while before that possibly due to my grandfather's political background. I'm kind of man who believes in repentance and penance but I ended up seeing that the country we live in a responsible man or women is given the responsibility of the whole nation or the world just like the good worker in an office is given all the work in the office and is exploited while the assholes are busy in office politics. I ended up seeing absolute ruthlessness of the absolutely inferior. Good men and women when they are defiled, which is kind of normal in the nation we live in whether those men or women are aware of their defilement or not, they blame themselves and consider themselves damned and this is by design especially after knowing the inner workings of the deep structure of Purvanchal, people are blamed for their own rape and they internalise it, it is a process of victim blaming when in reality those who defile them are actually damned. It's a gang of individuals who are spiritually damned exerting control over people while refusing to believe they are damned, and this is why their approach towards life is purely materialistic. It is important to clarify that the concept of damnation is subjective, for example if I rape a woman or fuck a prostitute I would consider myself damned, similarly a raped woman due to social stigma in this country and especially if she belongs to middle class, would consider herself damned but meanwhile those who exercise absolute power over people might swallow a million soul of innocents and still they won't consider themselves damned because of their entitlement, because they think that they are entitled to lives of people, of dictating the personal choices of people. It's just mental gymnastics, but it also depends upon one's programming and conditioning the popular Hindi word for it is sanskar (संस्कार), the problem is that some individuals have predation and exploitation of people as their programming and conditioning and they consider it as their right. If the conditions are extreme sanskars don't last when faced with base instincts take a sexual example, if a superhot rich model whom you are very attracted to invites you to fuck them you would do it, only that you would, if you are sanskari, flog yourself after that. That's what sanskar is, enough decency to repent or do penance after you have crossed a personal line. Most of the times this decency runs in the family, which the deep structure of this nation composed of entitled rapists and predators is destroying in the younger generations. When I was, say eighteen I would have never thought that in this nation there would be people who think of rape as their right, I thought rape is a crime and it is punished by the law. I have no misconceptions anymore as I know that there is a big number of individuals in this country who think of rape as their right, it's just that they hide it really well and in this kind of reality young boys and girls feel guilty of adopting freethinking as way of thinking and feel guilty for something as medically normal as mastrubation. It's hard to say what is real and what is not and I started with making the assumption of considering all history as hogwash because if we don't know what is real in the times we live in, how can we know what was real in the past, the maximum written history and archeological evidences can be are guides to knowing the past. As far as present goes we are way past the stage of knowing what is real and what is not, we can only try to make sense of things by what gives us comfort and what doesn't or what causes fear in us and what causes happiness, knowing full well that it is not actually a guide to what is real but only a guide to how power wants us to live and if one is careful is and intelligent enough they can derive the truth a little by little through this Pavlovian psychology.

Chaingang

What if life just ends up becoming a chain of cause and effect devoid of context and nuance? This is the kind of life that people are living in this nation. When I talk about cause and effect, especially pertaining to life, it is about creation of false facts in their lives of people. A sensitive young man goes through a break up or volatile family situation and takes to drinking and then gets addicted to it. The nuanced understanding of this situation with context is that he went through a heartbreak that pushed him towards drinking but the way Indian society judges him is that he is a drunkard. As I grew up to see Indian society I realised that it is especially hostile to good and sensitive people and it is later I realised that it is because the base reality is itself hostile to good and sensitive people and populated by individuals who if they see a cute rabbit their first impulse is to kill it in a way that causes maximum pain to that rabbit and so good men suffer incessantly and conventionally beautiful women have a "bodycount" higher than they would ever admit which is actually soft coercion, it's actually exploitation and their is no freedom of choice here because there is no, unless you specifically have the hand of structure that rules this nation over your head, autonomy over your self. True consent comes from autonomy which is absent. You don't belong to your family, the family is just the mediator between you and the structure that rules this nation. This is a fact but the actual truth is different, the actual truth is that you belong to your family but the actual truth is different from what is the political fact of this nation. The base state is predatory exploitation and mindless social engineering. The law sees the evidence and it can't see intent, in law even the intent is established through evidence and people who have not seen the system as I have seen it do not know that even the evidence of intent can be fabricated. Entrapment can end up becoming existential and false facts can be created which then cause a long chain of false facts. When the base fact is false, then everything that succeeds it is false you just have to delete the evidence of the actual truth. How a lower class pathological narcissist who can't see you beyond his ego and would always project his inferiority on you thinks about you will become a fact about you when he is in power but the actual truth about you is your beliefs, your ideals and how you held on to them and in what conditions. When identity politics is played, and in an Indian context, it becomes all about your caste, your family, your social and economic class, your town, your region, your culture and the goal of indentity politics is to establish inferiority of a particular person by proving the inferiority of things his or her identity is based upon. A black individual, no matter however talented he is in any field, can be proved inferior by (falsely) proving to him that his race is inferior and so he doesn't, if he is a scientist, deserve to do science. At its base it's just domination, like dogs pissing on poles and there is nothing that can be done about it except holding on to your actual truth and beliefs, knowing the false facts created about you and breaking the chain of cause and effect that takes you towards delusion and trying to walk towards truth no matter how painful it is because painful truth is a thousand times better than a comforting lie and it is because politics will someday end up exploitating that lie and extracting all the comfort from it. 

Satyagraha

It's all about intent and approach, what is your intent and how do you approach things. I wanted to work in the field of mental health but I ultimately realised that things are quite direct in this nation. People have emotional and psychological traumas so that they can be exploited or blackmailed through that trauma. There is no recovery from mental health issues in this country, it's also true for other countries, but setup is especially cruel and demonic in this country and psychological and emotional trauma is used as a leverage to manipulate the person forever. For majority of people, they undergo a trauma and it only gets worse and it's blamed on fate though it's totally, although in a clandestine way, of a totally human origin but unfortunately those who perpetuate this cycle can be hardly called human and it's about taking it all and giving only suffering in return and I'm talking about an infinite suffering that can't be fought back because you can't see the perpetrators, it's akin for a guy with a drone sitting in a comfortable bunker bombing your home. These individuals deal in infinity, inflicting infinite suffering on good people, conspiring against bad social engineering their lives with impunity and unfortunately as I came to realise that it is not even a classy setup, it's just your local politicians, godmen, contractors and other individuals connected to upper echelons in a multi-level fashion and since they are two-faced mostly behaving normally or projecting benevolence and mixed within genuinely good people, it impossible to tell who is who. I know about Purvanchal and at the mental plane it's a harem, power is only about being able to rape people with impunity and economic and information exploitation and sadism and schadenfreude. The lower rung of this setup is composed on individuals who feed on misery of people and addicted to it and this is the executive branch of this setup and these are the ones who remember family histories and harvest data about individuals and families from embodied surveillance. A person ultimately falls back on his family and it is a sign that things are actually, at the base, not run by the government but by families who run the setup in a clandestine way through criminal proxies. Rape, casteism, narcissism, psychopathy and hatred and other negative emotions and conditions and especially local flavour of hatred depending on local customs is somatized in their bodies. When a psychological idea is somatized there is no recovery of that individual and they are essentially damned forever and this damnation motivates these individuals to make people suffer because while their massive egos doesn't allow them to acknowledge that they are damned and can't have a normal life ever, they subconsciously know it and hence prevent others from having a normal life through individualised conspiracies, social engineering and torture. It's all politics and economics and the actual administration of this nation through proxies employed by oligarchic, kleptocratic families. Unfortunately as things look, they have lost control on the demons employed by them, either that or mindless impunity without consequence is itself the method as people will try to survive and save themselves all the time. I have doubt that even one person in position of actual power is there because of his merit but nepotism and cronyism. This however is not the problem but the mindless impunity is. When one knows this setup one realises that Sonam Wangchuk's hunger strike stands no chance in this psychopathic setup, he might die or if he lives, lives with considerable years reduced from his life due to the medical condition worsening in his age.

Snowpiercing

The times that are going on in this country at present it is very important to develop metacognition. Whatever the delusions about fate and kundalis people might have the fact is that fate is pre-decided and also real-time. This country fell off its high horse in early 2010s and I have seen it fall though the truth remains that it has actually fallen a long back and was just being cushioned by the culture which has collapsed in the past decade and now presents only as a hyperreality that people are forced to perform. What sustained this nation was the culture in the lower classes the substrate of which has completely eroded and is replaced by individual and relational conspiracies, dogma and superstitions. If dogma and superstitions can survive so can the finer aspects of local culture and if superstitions and delusions can be promoted through social media so can the culture. I have had the rendezvous with the deep state of this nation and it's all about rape and conspiracies and especially towards good people. Goodness doesn't stand a chance here and the basic design itself is impunity for the ones in power while they project fake benevolence, and fight for the basics among the common people. The only option that remains for a good man or woman is to regulate their needs, mind their own business and not get into competition with anyone unless survival demands it. What actually rules this country is predatory and has jealousy for good and pious people by design because these motherfuckers are criminal, the government is just an arm of this syndicate. Have no misconceptions, it's not the BJP but it's also the BJP and from what I have seen even Congress coming to power is not going to do much good though Congress due to its experience was good at refined propaganda and building a national narrative. Unfortunately BJP doesn't have such artistic propagandists and I wonder why they don't hire them but it has been good for the people because the exploitation in the background is for all to see now which has been accelerated by the internet which these motherfuckers needed to for making more wealth but it also ended up showing the base reality of this nation to the ones who are intelligent which actually is feudal-corporate and is present since the times of Congress and arguably liberalisation of economy in 1991 made it worse and so these motherfuckers were left with no option but psychological dictatorship and mindless propaganda. Make no mistakes whatever runs this nation has no value for the life of people and it's not a BJP issue, it's been since the Congress times it's just that now they sacrifice the weekly goat on social media so that people have things to talk about for a week and then they switch to another victim. I know from experience that media, and unfortunately even the ones that talks in lofty Hindi are also a part of this criminal syndicate. These motherfuckers managed to destroy a more than 2000 year civilization that even survived invasions and colonialism in 70 years. What remains for common man is just family and minding their own business. I personally have stopped consuming Indian media except news which too I take directly from X, and especially Bollywood. At least the propaganda in the West is made by genuinely artistic people, a lot of them among them having integrity.

Hard Pass

I see independent manga and comics artists of this country selling a few copies. Comics are stories and pop culture and they matter only when they are read and discussed among a group of friends. You are sitting with your group of friends and you are discussing Doomsday, and then someone mentions this independent comics or manga, the friends get it and read it and then discuss among them the characters and storylines of the manga and comics. It's a nerd thing and discussion of pop culture needs a circle of friends or at least people with common interests. Earlier this discussions used to happen in person, and then during the early 2000s there were chatrooms where you could discuss and roleplay characters and I would suppose this was the last time it was all organic, especially in India. What I learnt about India in the past decade is that the for the influential in this country its less about I read this comics and more about I own this many comics. People do not discuss pop culture, literature and philosophy anymore especially the middle class people and people have shifted to online platforms to have dialogue about their interests which again when you see platforms like Letterboxd you would see mostly upper class crowd showing off their knowledge of cinema. The middle class now, just like the lower class crowd, doesn't have time from hand to mouth and in the free time they watch shitty series like Mirzapur which is not shitty in its own regard but shitty given the political climate and totality of the situation in this country. The draining of meaning from the general narrative of this nation began somewhere in the early 2010s and I refuse to believe that it's BJP, I however know that it's also BJP. By now meaning from the lives of people has been thoroughly dismantled and now pop culture only means that a bunch of upper class kids show how they attended a Diljeet or Tailwinder concert. There used to be a thriving rock scene in this country once and now it's either dead or a niche and privileged community. Things like pop culture, philosophy and literature are a form of recreation and people who are neck deep in survival do not have time for this sort of recreation which is now true for every class except the upper class in this nation and unfortunately the upper class doesn't have time from generating and showing off wealth to focus on pop culture and mythmaking and there are political and economic reasons too for why mythmaking has stopped or its quality has severely decreased. Also, one of the main problems with pop culture, philosophy and literature that I discovered in the past decade is its systemic gatekeeping in this nation. It has been quite a while I have read a good book written by an Indian writer and India in general churns out trash like Chetan Bhagat's slop and Amish's made up mythology which again were a phenomenon when they came out. Amish's books are a valid genre and so are Chetan Bhagat's. I am not a snob when it comes to literature and belive that every book has its place but then that doesn't negate the fact that options are very less it's either Chetan Bhagat, Amish and Durjoy Dutta or poverty porn and depression fest by people like Aravind Adiga. If we talk western literature, there still are a lot of writers and especially in the genres that I love like fantasy. There is Stephen King, George R. R. Martin, Brandon Sanderson, then there are people writing transgressive fiction like Chuck Palahniuk. I doubt the well of fiction of the West is going to dry up like it did in India. If we talk comics, there are still a lot of comics in the West. There is DC, there is Marvel, I personally prefer 80s and 90s comics from the West and have my issues about current stories of Marvel while DC kind of still maintains its superiority on narrative in comics but my dissatisfaction with the Western comics of present times was assessed when I came across creator-owned comics publications like Image comics and other less mainstream comic book companies, imprints and publications from the West. I saw the panels of comics from Image comics and I saw the depth that is lacking in Marvel comics of today. As far as India goes, comics industry has collapsed and I doubt it will ever recover, and I think India is better off feeding its coaching industry and mafia as mythmaking given the draining of meaning from the lives of people doesn't seem to be returning. 

Batshit Forensics

I have gained immense clarity about the workings of this nation and I decided that I must document it. The best part is that I had no interest in documenting it because I already have a lot of work of my own and I realise documenting the shit I have witnessed makes me look crazy but then someone has to do this dirty job. One very important thing about the base reality of this nation, in all hierarchies including the government, is that power travels strictly downwards and unfortunately so does accountability and it happens so often that it is almost a rule. Of course one can't expect work ethics from criminals. Something goes sideways and the weakest and most honest person is scapegoated and again it happens so often that it is almost a rule. This is not a surprising thing and anyone who knows India knows that this happens my bafflement was realising the level it happens from. This shit happens from the level of God who, unfortunately, is also a rapist. It is advisable to, unless it is matter of survival, that one doesn't become part of any sort of hierarchy in this nation whether government or private. If possible one must always try to do their work independently. Selling samosas on the side of road is way better than not being able to do your actual job and being permenently occupied in office politics. There is one more important thing, if anyone acts aggressive or offensive in this nation it is because either they have a backup or background or know that they can get away with it either through their background or due to the weakness of the person in front of them, these are the two major possibilities, the minor third possibility is that they are dumb which again is excusable. Unfortunately our people aren't so brave to pick fights on their own and this runs throughout this nation. When thuggery and rape reach the level of consciousness I would suppose that's the last straw for a man who just want to mind his business, earn his living and live peacefully. Peace as I realised throughout the 2010s and 2020s is not an option in this country and the worst kind of assholes that people avoid in real life have access to people's consciousness and intimate life, safe to say that God is totally absent in this scenario and supposedly in general too. It was baffling to see low value, lower class criminal scum having access to people way better than them and their families and that is the final nail in the coffin of respectability in this nation. The ones who ended up cementing power in this nation decided that instead of increasing their respectability they must devoid other people and families of their dignity and respectability and while I don't blame the arrangement still however invasive it might be my last straw was the kind of individuals employed in this arrangement. This shit is hilarious and as it seems, what waits for people is tightening of the grip of the feudal-corporate slavery even more than it already is and I say feudal-corporate because I know that this shit is purely economics and morality, social conventions and religion are just smokescreens to waste time of people. I love my work so I enjoy doing it and I spend my free time having fun through my hobbies and interests though through my experiences I ended up realising that the privileged in this nation have fun at expense of others, someone has to live in pain or has to die for them to have fun and then it is tied to religion, morality, justice or fate all of which are totally absent at the base level from where things are operated in this country. I decided to write when I realised that there is no way in hell a good or a helpless man or woman survives this setup and especially when I realised that it is a predatory setup the specifically preys on the good, the helpless, the dispossessed or the forsaken. 

Daas Hound

It's a lot about one's approach to life. In the late 2010s I started simplification of my life and I had to do it because I didn't have any other option. I was never an entitled person and always had gratitude for whatever I had despite having intense personal struggles. By the early 2020s my life got extremely simplified and I had realised that majority of individuals in power are entitled and gratitude is of no use. The deep state of Purvanchal made itself visible to me in mid 2010s and I ended up realising that it is composed solely of entitled rapists, even the lower class criminals it employs as proxies, which as it looks are dispensable but have delusions of immortality. The last checkpoint I reached was letting me know that I should be grateful that I was not killed, which is kind of funny because death is not something that I fear. I, due to my experiences, ended up realising that all the individuals and families of this nation have been defiled and unfortunately by lower class criminal scum and religion can do nothing to salvage them as religion too is the part of the same setup. When I realised the soul level corruption of this nation and that it is essentially a harem at the level of mind I decided to simply exist, as long as I can. The outward appearance of this nation looks mundane with chaos whenever there is but the truth is everyone at the level of the mind, except those who are privileged to be part of the structure that runs this nation or have its hand above their heads, is fighting a battle. The main approach is to exploit relationships and so I decided to let go of the relationship except the ones which truly matter to me. Transactional realationships are anyway important for social survival and one can learn from trees in that regard, they give incentives to animals in form of fruits or in case of plants nectar to insects to propagate them and thus it is important to learn this approach. Things like love will only give you immense suffering so it is important to choose the ones you have to suffer for wisely. Make no mistake, the base truth is sex and money and power and resources and nothing else. The most unfortunate part is what rules over people, or at least where I am originally from, Purvanchal, is not even refined enough to be called an establishment, it's a criminal syndicate composed of rapists though I think it is applicable on the whole of this nation just that the ones above the actual employed criminals are white collar rapists who speak in English. The most baffling thing was the combination of entitlement and incompetence. I ended up seeing behind the curtain and realised that the cultures, the civilization of this country and the indigenous religion has collapsed and since quite a while and I would suppose the liberalisation of the economy in 1991 though back then the remnants of culture were still present. The most prominent thing that presented in my case since 2016 was rape combined with severe sexual repression for the majority and due to this repression people who become aware of the rape too can't speak out. The exploitation is at a personal level and individualised and the more conscientious you are the more you are going to suffer, it is a direct setup of exploitation and it is existential with a smokescreen of God and religion. There are various techniques and a few of them are credit stealing, victim blaming, blackmail, intimidation, entrapment, giving fake favours and infinite exploitation of them, intimidation by taking offence on slightest of things and infinitely exploiting the fear of revenge for that taken offence and other techniques like this. This country is only on paper at this point but then I would suppose being present on paper is what matters the most. Simplify your life, family, money, your work or occupation, knowledge, your hobbies and interests and most importantly things that no one owns, nature and the universe through night sky. I got my experiences colonised and presented as a favour, that I was able to watch cable television, cartoon network, read comics, study in a convent school, listen to music because I was allowed to and there was absolutely no reason to do this it was done simply because it could be done. So one can imagine the kind of inferior rent-seeking assholes who rule over people in this country, and only things they can't co-opt is nature and the universe through the night sky, love and relationships too can be weaponised unfortunately. One can consume all they want, like I order new gadgets from Amazon, but it is important to know that only true pleasures that exist that can't be co-opted are nature and the universe through the night sky.

Imperial March

 My writing journey started in late 2000s and I started writing blogs and short stories by early 2000s. I had a worldview back then, like trust in the government, in the United Nations in scientific research and publications which as life unfolded ended up getting eroded. I realised that the government is just an arm of the rich, United Nations is useless and a lot of scientific research is hogwash except the researches funded by private players. Back in the day, in early 2010s, I wanted to be physician-writer, majorly a fiction writer but I also wrote blogs and had interest in writing comics and had a plan for an adventure novel. I am a physician and I write so I am kind of a physician-writer but tags don't matter to me. I wanted to write something useful, warm and truthful and so I try to do that. The world is too vast to make sense of it but we can make sense of the common threads running in the world, find out the essence of things and make sense of the bottom line. I have genres that I gravitate towards, like noir, a little bit of transgressive fiction, science fiction and cosmic horror. Though, depending on the genre, I mostly seek to imbibe warmth and truth in my stories. When one is writing there are doubts, like whether one is doing the right thing. Like when I wanted to write a space opera I felt if I was doing the write thing and frankly there is no solution to this problem like while writing a cyberpunk story in India one realises that no one else has written a cyberpunk stories, or if any very few, and one feels as if they are breaking some rule but the truth is that what the heart wants to write it wants to write. The comics industry of this country has collapsed for the most part and I frankly do not know if it is ever going to recover. The novels for the most part are boring. So a reader has to naturally look outside the country for good reads, again access to which is gatekept. Due to my cognitive and time limitations, I decided to indulge in flash fiction instead of short stories or novels and I also write blogs, quite a bit on deep politics of the country, and a bit of prose poetry. A writer writes for readers which again are hard to come by in the present politico-socioeconomic situation of this country though it’s good that I mainly write as a hobby and for personal creative pleasure. Since the early 2010s I switched many blogs and tried various things but ultimately I settled down after finding a stable vibe that suits my taste and now write on a bunch of blogs and in a bunch of genres. I see foreign writers especially the American ones who still publish, though then I look at places like the middle east where writers are rare and if they aren’t they aren’t popular enough to reach me. India for that matter is America from outside and the middle-east from inside the dictatorship and totalitarianism is embodied and so it’s hard thinking out of the box, like writing a space opera of an Indian setting. 

Bukka Reddy Republic

There are various models of mind in psychology but I would like to give an India specific model of mind that would prove useful in the current political times. Imagine your mind as a four dimensional hollow container in which thoughts appear. We are not going to discuss the origin of the thoughts whether they are going to appear from your subconscious or unconscious or somewhere else. Pay attention to your thoughts, they are going to be about an object, person, thing, place, process or something like a relationship. The Indian deep state relies heavily on family and social bonds and it's major job is social engineering and sabotage through exploitation of family and social bonds. In places like Purvanchal the approach is of pumping delusions about one person or relationship in the minds of other person and it is essentially the British era technique of divide and rule. As far as I have observed in Purvanchal I realise that it is Soviet Russia style permanent surveillance but this surveillance is embodied approaches are switched constantly so people can't be really aware that they are just a pawn in a greater social game. The poor and the dispossessed experience this surveillance as internalised oppression and fate and I have realised that the deep state of what was supposed to be my region, Purvanchal, is composed solely of village rapists, the same kind which in olden times used to rape lower caste people for drawing water from the wells and entering temples and this setup is a part of the greater feudal-corporate setup. This is why the society of this country doesn't improve, because fortification of things like casteism, rape and divide and rule happens from the base reality itself and this is because the power is permanent only the economic cycle needs to go on. For the majority, at least what I have observed in Purvanchal, is that more emotional about a relationship you are the more you are going to suffer and this is not because the world is bad, it actually is at the base but just at the base, but because this is the design. For most people their relationships are already mapped I'm talking specifically about Purvanchal, I do not know about the other regions, and for the most part, if you are not careful how you are going to react to those relationships. There is no point in being too emotional about relationships other than the duties you have towards those relationships and it's better to have transactional realationships other than your inner circle which includes your close family and very close friends although friendship in Uttar Pradesh eventually ends up collapsing if both parties not aware so at least in North India friendship is not only almost extinct but also is of no practical use as possibility of organic friendship has permanently eroded unless both the parties are aware of the political climate. At least in North India the base political design is extremely simple, and it can be pictured as a gang of genocidal rapists extremely loyal to each other and allow each other to inflict torture on people and families and exploit people through proxies which again can be caste based feudal gangs. The deep state destroys family cultures which the the heads of family work so hard to develop and to my utter dismay the use of incest as political tool is used in Purvanchal to have dirt on people and manipulate them or torture their souls. We live in surveillance state but the most unfortunate thing is that the surveillance is embodied and totalitarian for the most part for most of the people with their fates already sealed. God and progress are just decoys and the illusion of meritocracy is kept on to keep people busy when the truth is that the only those who are already chosen are selected with other decoys who are trapped and made example of. At its base it's a oligarchic kleptocratic rape nation wearing a robe of a democracy and the sooner we accept it and focus on having fun and ensuring financial security better it is. God was never in the picture except in the form of faith and that's only form that actually matters. The political consciousness changes shape and makes sure that other models of mind can't be applied, and for the ones being sabotaged the process is sabotage of their autonomy and still holding them a hundred percent responsible for their thoughts, speech and actions. Manipulation of perception is an important approach that is taken and can be taken simply as input, processing and output. If the input is wrong, the output is also going to be wrong, unfortunately even if the input is right the data can be altered at the level of processing. When I realised this setup I realised that uneducated and helpless common people do not even stand a chance against this system and over that they are watched over by lower class individuals who are essentially genocidal rapists. It's a totalitarian slavery with an illusion of freedom and democracy though it is sporadic so some people may actually be totally free while other might experience oppression and so there remains a difference of opinion among people. The basic truth is however that the ones who truly hold power practice impunity which isn't really visible while common people are afraid of crimes, police as well as finances.  

To Each His Own North Korea

Is there a foolproof way to live life? There isn't. The real question is what matters? What matters is the nature, the night sky, knowledge, money, your interests and hobbies if you are able to find your genuine ones and most importantly family and love. As I have grown to know in the past decade, everything else can be co-opted and weaponised against you. Your friendships, your relations, your society, your region, your culture, your religion, your politics and your country. So it is incredibly important to have a fair idea about your beliefs on these things. When you find yourself in the deep you end up realising that the basic method of this deep politics of this nation is to sabotage your autonomy and still hold you responsible for your thoughts, speech and actions. It's a sort of existential framing and the way I have seen it, everyone experiences it in this nation with or without realising it at least in acute form if not chronic. Salvaging your autonomy once it's under siege is not that easy and it requires effort though that effort is unique to everyone and can't be stated though a good starting point would be paying attention on your genuine interests and likes and dislike which again in the case of lack of personal autonomy is an incredibly hard thing to do. The method of persecution of the people, as I ended up realising is totally whimsical in nature given the vast population of this country, and is quite direct, your poverty, your illnesseses, your lack of self-confidence, your lack of self-esteem, your insecurities, your inferiority complexes, your secrets, your family secrets, your political and personal beliefs or anything under the sun for that matter will be exploited if you don't have the hand of whatever runs this nation over your head. For the forsken and dispossessed this setup works as predation while the ones who are stronger it expresses itself as presecution though in the end it is all predatory whimsy based on population. God is nowhere in the picture but your disbelief in Him or Her can be exploited so being an atheist requires the ability to take a stand for your belief though faith is real, it is a real thing whether God as we knew Him in childhood exists or not and faith powers you so it is advisable to have faith in a higher power with the realisation that there is no higher power than what persecutes or does the predation. It's basically about sex and money, all of it that and resources and power and unchecked power leads to predation of innocents who are happy with the little they have through their hardwork. If we are talking the base reality of this nation, it's rape and opportunism and in this reality the indigenous religion and the civilization have irreversibly collapsed. Do your work, consume and become the part of the cycle of production and consumption and love and care for your loved ones. There is nothing more to life and now there is never going to be. The movies you watched in childhood, the cartoons you saw on TV, the comic you read, the places you travelled, the music you listened, the experiences you had to all can be taken despite the fact that it was accessed from your family's hard earned money, they put in the work and got the money and it happens just because the entity that takes it from you allowed you and your family to live. When you see this happening survival then doesn't seem so important. It's basically all sex and economics at the depth but there is one more layer beneath it the layer of your true self but most people do not have the resources to reach that layer. 

Raka Ka Aatank

I see Indian comics fans on Facebook. I follow Indian comics groups and see them buying reprints of comics as new comics especially with storylines as good as the 90s are scarce. I see 90s comics and strip creators and writers on Facebook rehashing their comics art and stories. It seems that time has stopped. These individuals on Facebook showing their old comics collections, their acquisitions of reprints and wishing that Anurag Kashyap directs a Doga movie or Mukesh Khanna goes ahead with Shaktimaan with Sony Pictures do not know that Indian mythmaking is dead. Is not as dead as it has been made unavailable to anyone other than the upper class who anyway perfer DC and Marvel. Comics has always been on my mind because it is a form of storytelling, and along with short stories one of my favourite modes of storytelling. Marvel and DC are mainstream in India and I love Marvel and DC. I'm not jingoist and also love comicbooks and superheroes and good stories. In fact the only movies I watch anymore are Marvel and DC and I have to give it to MCU and DCU that the scale that they make the movies I, despite having an inability to disconnect from reality and suspending my belief end up getting immersed in their world. Homegrown superheroes are dead and the experiential reality of this country has become so ugly that suspension of belief won't work which is a major thing to achieve in a superhero project plus Indians neither have the technology and very unfortunately nor the craft to make stories that can immerse people like MCU and DCU. I had heard Sanjay Gupta is making a movie on a quite recent (late 2000s early 2010s) superhero called Rakshak written by Shamik Dasgupta, an announcement was made and then there was no other news. Krrish is still there and while the first movie was good, the second movie Krrish 3 was just okay due to the VFX but still efforts need to be commended. There was Brahmastra which had great VFX but it for the most part suffered with lack of warmth which is one of the important thing in superhero movies. Amazon announced a superhero series with TVF and Indusverse comics which has mythological themes and I would suppose like the comics which were being published in late 2000s-early 2010s like Virgin Comics, Holy Cow!, Yali Dream Creations and Level 10 comics. Unfortunately by now I have seen the rapey base reality of this nation and mythofiction doesn't work with me though good luck to them. I'd prefer a good Doga or Anthony story anyday over mythofiction that induces nausea when you compare it to the rapey feudal-corporate base reality of this country. Like I said Indian mythmaking is dead. I am eagerly waiting for Brand New Day and Doomsday and just now read in news that Marvel is making a Nova TV series. For a comic fan this is enough. 

Roshogolla

I mostly write to give people diagnosis of their suffering which again as I believed before the 2010s, is not cosmic in nature but political and this suffering is inflicted, at least in this country, from such a low level and is so local that it's embarrassing. Imagine your culture and imagine the most crude and criminal kind of elements in your culture, these are the actual gods of the common people and I'm not talking about burger munching, coke sipping, Sopranos watching assholes as they might have other gods of British and American origin. You see opportunism in the daily life of this country, unfortunately it is just an expression of the opportunism at the base reality of this country, and I say this because I have seen it. If you think that there is some benefit standing up for the elderly or pregnant women in the metro, not personal but at a societal level, you are wrong. All uncouthness in this land and all the rape flows from the base reality of this nation which is in fact uncouthness and rape, above it is situated performative manners and morality. The assholes who eat tiramisu in Taj hotel are the same who employ uncouth rapists as gods for common people, people who are way better than them and in places like Purvanchal they are gods of engineers, professors, doctors and of course the common hand to mouth people. Criminals, and actual criminals, decide your next generation and they decide your life traumas and the past you have. I used to believe in simulation theory but the reality of this country is so feudal that scientific thought collapses. The question then arrives if it was always so? Because till 1947 it was the British and before that it was the Mughals (at least for the majority of what is India). In 2016, I had an experience of being alone in my mind like the Black Mirror episode USS Callister. I mean, you can only wish. Surveillance is embodied in this nation and it's hard to tell whether it's feudal, capitalist, of the State, or globalist. Once you realise the permanent surveillance and real-time manipulation of lives and relationships, all social contracts collapse and only survival remains. You earn so that you can maintain food, clothing and shelter and your social ties and so that you can buy new things. I got myself a keychain camera by Kodak that clicks early 2000s style pictures, my second favourite time after the 90s. I got that because I liked it, but I know that it is redundant, just like my writing, something that I wanted to do since my late teens. When all life is a lie then all the stories about life are false. There is no chicken soup for the soul left because the events are orchestrated. Only true stories that remain are which the people who have salvaged their autonomy have written. There is no Shekhar Kapur's Devi fighting an ancient demon Bala, there is no group of teenagers fighting an ancient demon in Afghanistan, there is no half-god half-demon who fights to save a little girl from a monster. What exists, however is a machine, populated by demons, feeding on the blood of people who they farm and keep them distracted and asleep with entertainment, relationships, drama and sustained pain. The tragedy of the nation we live in is that the motherfuckers who farm us have contempt even for their crops and also they are incompetent. I will still write stories because life needs hobbies which give meaning. But the pillow speaker I ordered from Amazon is just a product that I consume and there are people who don't even deserve to order that, deserve is the word. What is not consumption and absolutely real is the nature, the night sky and love. When shit hits the fan, your culture, your region, your relationships or for that matter everything can be weaponised against you and you can be left dispossessed and forsaken. Since I have seen it I know that everyone in this country except those who own this country is a spiritual orphan. One has to really see the lower nine-tenths of this country to realise that this country is more godless than countries who are atheist and it's a shame because there was God in every village in this country. As far as Purvanchal goes, they exploit you, torture you with that specific emotional torture flavour of Purvanchal and then the accuse you, put some false blame on you and then murder you and you die with that blame on your head. In this country this elaborate game can be played not because you are guilty or have done something but just because someone doesn't like your face or some attribute of yours. Afterall things like a wedding getting cancelled because of absence of white rasgulla is not something that used to happen in the 90s. 

Hodge Podge

What can be said of a nation where even hustle is fake, even a thing like hustle is rigged. I always have believed hardwork, in choosing my corner and quietly doing my work, but that didn't help me and in a predatory setup that doesn't help anyone, you choose your corner and you get cornered for predation. Though adulthood makes one realises that despite a lot of work force who earn through hardwork  a lot of money in this nation is made through middlemanship, brokerage, interest and usury and exploitation and extortion. My experiences as they showed me, even being able to do hardwork and earn an honest living is a privilege and after realising the centralised nature of the governance of this nation I realised the truth of scamming operations that lure people for jobs and scam them. I have lived long in the setup, and totally involuntarily, to realise that it's a direct arrangement and anything that can be exploited will be exploited, be it your illness, handicaps, lack of confidence, lack of self-esteem, insecurities, your social class or for that matter anything and since I realised the centralised nature of this setup I came to the conclusion that people in this country at the deepest level, as the level deeper than that is mostly unreachable for common people, is governed by a criminal syndicate which also moonlights as the providence and intelligence. Money was never a matter for me, though in the present scenario it is the single most important thing in this country, and it is especially not important at the level of consciousness. When money reaches the level of consciousness and and minds and greed for it becomes embodied and people just become tools to be used, this is called slavery. The basic arrangement is ones who are drenched in excesses being jealous of happiness and the little that the others have while delusion of everything is alright is constantly pumped into the minds of people. Where we are at present, there is nowhere to go. Just people at various stages of their delusions failing to realise that their love for their families, the drama of relatives and within the family, their career aspirations mean shit as the slavery is foolproof. I for one like to know the disease I'm suffering and so I write the diagnosis for those who want to know the diagnosis of their suffering too. The diagnosis is unending greed of power, sex and money of those who are already drenched in excesses and in case of this country who are also entitled and grossly incompetent. There is nothing that is not rigged except your consciousness if at all you are able to salvage your autonomy, otherwise that too is rigged. 

Adhikari

I had never considered Bihar to be an inferior place because I was from Purvanchal and I knew about the real culture of that state, not the Maithili region but at least up to Patna. I lived in Patna for couple of years in early 2010s and contracted a life long disease, not some corporeal disease but something that is of a systemic nature and later I realised that I was walking with that disease from Purvanchal which was supposed to be my home region since always. I left Bihar in 2014 and by late 2010s I realise that people consider Biharis and individuals from Eastern Uttar Pradesh inferior for a reason, not that the rest of the country is any better but in Bihar and Eastern Uttar Pradesh you would see a particular mix of inferiority and infinite cruelty. In the late 2020s I realised for the first time that I'm from a inferior region which I had never believed because I lived in the culture in the 90s, but then a region is only as good as the ones who rule it. The whole region is ruled by an intimate cycle of individualised victim blaming, credit stealing, intimidation and blackmail. These motherfuckers have access to the lives of people at a scale that would surprise neuralink scientists and yet they entrap, rape and murder totally innocent people and the blame falls on fate. It's not Narendra Modi, it's your local small town mafia, godman, politician and business men connected above to even bigger ones exercising control over people through lower class criminals who of course aren't skilled at anything except feeding on misery and pain of people while actively creating them through family based conspiracies, fate in this country is pre-decided but it is also real-time and the pre-decided fate can change in real time and it is all connected to politics, economics and of course religion. The jungleraj is not only in the society but also embodied and in your mind. Power devises its methods and one of the ways is blocking individuals from their very basic needs and when they ask or protest for that need the individuals start a fight. It's a game of numbers, the individual is isolated while the the ones in power are essentially a gang of rapists, power in Eastern Uttar Pradesh and Bihar means freedom to rape without any consequences and since this arrangement is invisible and the normal life keeps going on, it appears sporadic when in truth it is all centralised and can be applied to rest of the nation as well. Another method is picking a fight with you, and then one of them will instigate you against their whole group and that group can be anything including a caste group and then the same number game applies and they persecute or torture you. The method is inflicting suffering and denying that suffering that it even happened and inflicting more and this cycle goes on infinitely. These individuals would deny your whole life experiences and impose their own perception of you which obviously isn't a right one because these are narcissistic psychopaths filled with contempt. The best part is that one doesn't even have to be wrong, a simple reason of them not liking your face will do and this becomes genrational. They would pick a fight for not liking your face and make you their enemy and then they'd would torture your children in your name because you had enmity with them when the whole thing since the start was falsely created for some trivial reason and you hadn't even picked a fight with them. This whole thing thrives on creation of false facts and this is what is done in the whole nation. If we scale this to the level of the nation then we are being ruled by a bunch of rapists who have given themselves right to rape people and at the lower nine tenths of the iceberg this country is actually a harem.