Practical Wisdom for Bharat Mata

I write for good people, people who just want to do their jobs and live in peace although peace is not an option in the country we live in. What rules this country has learnt it's extractive exploitation from the British and bureaucracy from Russia, the art of doing nothing while keeping the pretense of doing everything. My dream is a good man realises this needless suffering, does his job, earns his money and comes home and spend time with his family. For good men family is all that matters. When I was younger, I had a hard time saying no to people until I realised that exploitation of goodness and humility is a centralised feature of this nation and after that I haven't had any hard time saying no to people. The setup is this, absolutely criminal assholes are protected and good men have to save their own ass. It would be hard to accept for naive people but I have seen the system closely and I have realised that this is by design and this shit is a centralised. The trick is that if you are employed by another entity do the bare minimum that keeps you in the job and focus on your family, if you are doing your own thing put your efforts. This is basic behind the facade of nation building, when the assholes whose jobs are to build the nation aren't doing so and have sold it, what can common person do. Post early 2010s, consequences for helping someone are severe and so neither help unless you know it is transactional nor ask for help as it can be used as favours that can be exploited. The state we live in is that those who wear the helmet and put trash in the bin are going to be punished for doing so and this statement is deeper than what it seems to be. The most important thing here is to not to lose your inherent goodness just know that you are following the deep constitution of this country. Spend the time you save by cutting on useless bullshit to grow your soul. It is the deep constitution to throw another person under the bus for progressing but a good men can avoid it as long as he can and if he has to do it he must know why he had to do it. 

Country Club

Here is an interactive philosophical question: what if what one has thought of as authoritarianism is perpetuated on them an absolutely lowly and inferior individuals. I don't really believe in superiority or inferiority of people but some things I really consider inferior and I think of individuals who do that beneath me, like rape, pedophilia, extortion, predation of the sick, the handicapped the helpless and innocents. My crossing paths with Purvanchal deep state made my sorry ass realise that not only these things exist but are rampant in this country just that they are kept hidden from the narrative and victims are silenced either by intimidation or blackmail or by gaslighting and deluding them and that not only these things are rampant while common people are deprived of normal romantic intimacy, there are levels to assholes involved in these things just just like a PUBG player ranking or levels of stars of a police officer and have no misconceptions, these things happen from the place where most people think God resides. I had the intellectual resources to analyse it, although it sounds totally paranoid but unfortunately it is not and if your Instagram algorithm is not just food videos, you might be getting the glimpses of the real India that was hidden from most of the eyes before the internet. India, as the deep state made itself visible to me I realised, was never democratic, whether it be Congress or BJP, it's just that the authoritarianism is invisible and soft and so much that it decides what you would wear, how you'd behave, what you'd eat, unless it is the time for authoritarianism to get hard. The individuals who perpetuate this authoritarianism think of people as insects, and even the lowest ones of them and life as dispensable and at most people as stereotypes of their culture and region. They know every thing about you and have all the tools to actually know you but they aren't really interested in knowing you. This deep administration is primarily motivated by two things voyeurism and jealously, because the functionaries are employed from the lower classes with rape, money and invasive access to people's lives as incentives and they have inherent contempt for people mostly a projection of their own psychological issue and so the deep state of this country weaponises the criminality and psychiatric conditions of its functionaries against the common people. I used to call myself a debauch for drinking beer occasionally jacking off in early 2010s but then I realised that debauchery has levels and I was actually less than a teletubby in front of the lowest of these motherfuckers and most baffling and terrifying thing is that life of the most innocent and helpless person is accessible to these motherfuckers. It baffled me, as much as I have seen it, that there is no mechanism of cultural preservation, those who are exploiting the people are themselves incharge of the culture. My personalised totalitarianism when I realised that it is perpetuated by Individuals who are inferior to me and have no business with good or bad, all my life's suffering became redundant and meaningless. When individuals who inflict suffering and police people are criminal, life as well as suffering has no meaning. Only difference is that I have realised it and a lot of others haven't and some boomers still wallow in their suffering with drinks and ghazals. 

Nishtha

There are worlds in the world, diffrent worlds. You see a person and think why he or she is like this? But have you ever considered a possibility that maybe they are what they are because for them access to all other worlds except their own world has been foreclosed? I like to keep it real. I like to keep it natural, like Bear Grylls. While others can choose to live in a Suraj Barjatya or Karan Johar hyperreality, I like to keep it Anurag Kashyap. It is because I have witnessed that the core of this nation is Anurag Kashyap and the core never changed, it's just that a lot of people never get to feel it and never getting to feel it is different that it not existing as the core. So, I keep alternating between my two chosen worlds, Bear Grylls and Anurag Kashyap and while I play the game of Suraj Barjatya with with my family and community and enter the MCU and DCU once in a while, I have no delusions about the reality of the matter. A large population of this country has its possibilities and futures foreclosed. Have you ever considered that kids getting salt and rice in midday meals in government primary schools might be prepared for a life as lower level functionaries for sex and drug trafficking? Or maybe because they must be semi-literate farm workers or construction workers? The government schools have portraits of Mahatma Gandhi and Subhash Chandra Bose. Zero percent kids from government schools go to IITs and if they do, it's possibility that they are plants, and roughly calculating ten percent to ITIs and bunch of them go to blue collar jobs, but the carrot of better future always hangs. They are never told that their fates are sealed and that's still okay, the real issue is that the cushion of culture and family have been completely destroyed so that they have nothing to fall back to. Traditions are dogma now, culture is dogma now and religion is superstition. The state of freedom of speech in this nation is that if someone speaks the truth consequences, although clandestine, are quick but a tanrik will tell you the method of how to do vashikaran of your crush through your farts. If you see modern Hinduism and notice it, it's mostly about saving one's life and getting wealth. It's all Hinduism is all about. What about faith, and love of God? Vedic Hinduism if you have read Vedas is materialistic, it was about power and blessings of God about pleasing Gods, but it had a civilizational scale, they actually believed in their Gods and did sacrifices to them and those were days of empires so defeating enemies through the blessings of their Gods was important. Yajnas were important. Materialism doesn't mean the lack of faith. Materialism without faith however means corruption. And my belief is that if spirituality and medicine of a nation are corrupt then there is no scope left for it. 

Disco Dandiya

I regularly advocate for people to embrace journal writing. It is essential in this sociopolitical economy but what you write in it shouldn't be about other people but about your thoughts, feelings and conflicts. It is important to resolve your emotional and psychological conflicts through journaling, whether it is about your own bodily image, your self-image or problems you have with yourself because in the current political scenario if you have problems with yourself you are surely going to be exploited and at a deeper level. It's what Bertrand Russel said, "The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts." The problem is that the the world will always remain so, and this because absolutely evil assholes employ these fools and fanatics to keep their ACs on and to retain their right to rape anyone they choose. This is the deeper setting of existence and unfortunately it can't be negotiated with. The best one can do is to clearly know what they want and how they want to live and whether it is possible and sustainable in the environment they live in. The state of law in this country is that it poses to be for the common people but it actually serves the criminals so one has to be mindful of it and try, if possible, to stay as far away from law as possible while following it if you are good person. If you come to know as much as I do through my experiences, you'd realise that this country actually only exist on paper. Your existence can be reduced to your identity markers like your caste, religion, culture, region and things like that but you have to be sure that your actual identity markers is your family and if you are really pushing it, your community and nothing else. If your hometown can be snatched from you, it never existed in the first place and this is true for mostly everything that can be snatched from you. The external administration of this country is mainly about land and property related issues and the internal "administration" sees every other thing and that includes manipulation of relationships and social engineering of families and is populated with habitual rapists picked from lower classes so that they have contempt for the people and families they are employed on. You have to realise that actual cultures and indigenous religion have collpased and what exists is just a hyperreality and what actually remains is simply earning money and taking care of your family and to try to have fun while doing so. This may sound paranoid but unfortunately it is the base truth and when the layers of illusion peel off this is where you'd reach.

Kafkaesque Copacabana

I have been privileged enough to see the bottom line truth of existence in the country we live in. And I think I won't be boasting if I say that not many people are able to survive it. The shocking thing that I discovered was that no one is safe except those who control this bottom line truth and God as always doesn't come to help except in the form of faith, but that faith is inside you and not someone in the sky. This country works on Murphy's law. This law states that anything that can go wrong will go wrong and I do not know about the rest of the nation but in places like Purvanchal this law specially affects, good, weak, helpless or the innocent. This observation led me to realise that the practical God of this nation is predatory and unfortunately it also has theological and bureaucratic powers. In my case survival is not the issue, dignified survival is, which I realised that unless you are delusional is out of question. Thriving is reserved for the impune and brattish and the impune and brattish who project false benevolence and tolerance. Shit can get totalising fast and the practical God in this nation unfortunately judges people based on stereotypes. It is based on stereotypes that people are sent to hells and these hells are artificial, both metaphysically artificial and through intimate exploitation of the conscience of the person thrown in hell. The kicker is this the stronger your conscience is, the more you are going to suffer because it will be exploited however if you go against the current then not only you will suffer you conscience but you will suffer the artificial consequences of the transgressions one has done. The judgement of transgressions is individualised and that means a good man can suffer his whole life for taking a small bribe in this deeply corrupt nation while individuals who are habituated of committing rape live like they are living on a tropical island. I have had an absolutely terrific luck to look into and analyse the soul of this nation, the very core of its deep governance is rape, I can't say about rest of the nation but I am by now sure about Purvanchal, despite the surface pretensions of purity and piousnsess and don't get it wrong common people are still, despite the passing of old generation, pious and pure but when the core itself is rape, they won't be for long. There is not much that can be done in this situation except paying attention on the association of objects in one's mind, people, places and things. I visited hell for no reason and I personally find it quite comfortable and the only reason I write is because I worry for the weak, innocent and good and because I have realised that those who send people to hell in this nation do not deserve to have that power. 

The Rabhas Incident

When the sociopolitical realities around you shift, you do not know what to do with your interests. I wonder what I would do with my interest in fiction and fantasy with the existence turning increasingly transactional and commercial. Older realities are collapsing and so are basics the older stories were based on. Life requires mystery to be interesting. I increasingly miss my comics reading days when there were superheroes born on islands, or doing space adventures, going on missions to destroy ancient evil or heroes in ancient feudal kingdoms dealing with martial arts, conspiracies and magic. I say this because these things, these worlds were realities at least till early 2010s. You could come home from school, college or work and immerse yourself in these deep worlds and during this time you'd be disconnected from the actual reality you were living, and I'm talking this in an Indian context, about indigenous fiction and fantasy and realities. I still have western options, like Marvel, DC and others if we are talking comics and Brandon Sanderson, George R.R. Martin, Neil Gaiman, Stephen King and numerous others if we are talking western fiction and fantasy books. Being able to read Western comics, stories and novels in India comes with an invasive gatekeeping in which, in my experience, totally inept and incompetent individuals decide who deserves to read what. The model of the world, and not earth, which includes India is a bunch of decentralised and multi-level genocidal rapists, sadists and exploiters and their employed criminal functionaries raping and exploiting people and turning that rape, torture and exploitation into fate or will of God while government acts as a front for administration and welfare. India is especially demonic because there is zero percent autonomy over one's life unless one has the illusion of autonomy or is educated and aware enough to salvage a little bit, and a hundred percent responsibility and accountability for one's thought speech and actions and this existential totalitarianism goes on behind the facade of democracy as it gives these motherfuckers more field to play with. Impunity for the powerful and privileged coexists with illusion of meritocracy and the carrot of a better future and actually sealed fates for the majority while the majority juggles with traditions, morality, ethics and social conventions and law with a large chunk of them not actually following them but doing pretense. Religious sanctity of the indigenous religion has totally collapsed and if you read older books of literary writers you might realise that it never really existed except in the faiths of actually pious people of this land and local cultures including tribal cultures have totally destroyed by now except as a hyperreality with the substance beneath them totally eroded. There is no doubt that it's all about money, sex and resources and production and consumption. Life for common people is now mostly about consuming and performing for short-form videos as every little things gets either commercialized and weaponised. There is a reason why actual literature is absent in India and writers are becoming less and less and why comics industry has collpased and actual Indian mythmaking is deteriorating and is turning from civilizational to feudal and political in nature. It is because literature and mythmaking empowers people and shows them the truth and comics empower children and impart them values beside helping them to inculcate reading ability and imagination. Totally incompetent, rootless and westrnised at the top and feudal at the bottom individuals are making decisions for people while people's autonomy is stripped and their attentions focused on their economic precarity. Those who are a little stable are forced to consume substandard propaganda without any depth or have to switch to Western writers and Western or foreign media including media from American and Japanese corporations like Anime, Marvel and DC and Hollywood which is unfortunately hegemony under the pretext of globalisation and unfortunately this media is also gatekept from a lot people.

Kitaabi

Reading books is one of my most favourite hobbies. Earlier I used to read books and emulate them, now as I became aware of the political reality of this country and the world, I read them to understand perspectives. My interest in mental health pushed me towards the study of psychology and while I became somewhat competent in therapeutic psychology I realised that there are various other types of psychology including exploitation and dark psychology which the deep state of this nation applies on people and with impunity just that it appears as one's own fault or fate. The first realisation for me was that all art is political including literature and the second realisation was that all life is political, the third realisation was that religion was political, however I ended up realising that faith and especially personal faith is not political unless you decide it to be. Reading helps with improving knowledge and it also helps in gaining new perspectives in mental health issues and reading, both fiction and non-fiction, helps, as I have seen, in auto-immune disorders. I have kind of a huge library both of professional books and of books of personal interest which include both fiction and non-fiction. I have in my experience realised that writers for the most part are one of the most trustworthy of professionals, though I would like to discount propagandists, journalists and Indian writers from this statement. Life is a lot about the metaphysical model of your mind and consciousness, it's similar to how a village person sees a direct connection between the food eaten and it's excretion, like there is a direct pipe, and a doctor who knows the complex organs and processes the food eaten passes through. Anyone who has been aware in the past decade knows that the collective IQ of this nation has deteriorated in the past decade. I have always maintained that I don't think that it is because of BJP but I know that it is also BJP. I ended up realising that behind the two party or multi-party system in this country there is a multi-level feudal-corporate-mafia setup riddled with patronage and criminal networks that hide behind welfare and religion that is permanent and in the past decade due to my personal and political experiences I realised that this country is actually a regionally and culturally divided kleptocratic oligarchy posing as a democracy. Good books are hard to come by in this country and at most you'd get cheap or campy romances or poverty porn written by quite privileged individuals, good adventure or sci-fi novels don't really seem possible due to invasive political reality and the political climate and hence one has to depend on foreign authors in which again there is socioeconomic class based invasive gatekeeping. I personally like J.K. Rowling and Stephen King in modern western authors and I appreciate Neil Gaiman's writing style though I don't like his stories for the most part. I prefer European and American literature written in the 19th century and early 20th century because I personally think, and that's my personal opinion, that it is the most authentic literature and same goes for literature written in early to mid 20th century if Indian literature is concerned. Anything after that requires a discerning eye to separate it from propaganda. Reading at least two books a month is a doable goal and I try that I am able to do it. 

Avocado Toast

You end up seeing the world in a different light once you have understood oppressive environments and tyranny. The fun part about oppression and tyranny in the modern times is that it can be individualised, customised and sporadically distributed. So here, Buddha's "life is suffering" doesn't work, life is suffering but not for all. The real enlightenment is not the realisation that "life is suffering", it's that individuals drenched in excesses and habituated of impunity deprive people of mere basics and when one is deprived of basics and has to push a boulder up and down a mountain for basics and even then they fail to achieve the basics life would in fact be suffering. I have had luck of seeing individuals who wouldn't even give a dying person water having power and my belief in the world and its betterment collpased. I realised that all that matters is the present, and for the most people there is no family legacy to be left behind because when you understand the true design of the country we live in, and I do not know about the world, you end up knowing that all family legacies have been defiled and I'm talking about every single one of them and then they will be held up to a standard that is impossible to achieve mostly because the conditions around it are impossible to achieve. In this country growth only happens through cronyism, nepotism and patronage. And as far as deep state of this nation goes I have identified three characteristics, scamming, thievery and rape and people are being governed by scamming, thievery and rape wrapped in religion which is mostly practiced through victim blaming and betraying people's genuine faith in their Gods. I neither know the greater design nor am I interested in knowing it after seeing the basics because when basics itself are shit, greater design doesn't really matter. The work of making each person into a lonely island is going on and I think it will be complete in a decade or so. Good people will have to prove that their intent was not wrong to assholes when they victim blame them after exploiting them. This is what happens when hyperreality engulfs the actual reality and when conspiracy and propaganda machine consists of more people than the workforce that does the actual work that runs a nation. I know of Purvanchal and I realise that deep state of Purvanchal runs on the principle that I first witnessed in the Bobby Deol's movie Soldier, "kaam khatam, aadmi khatam". So, what does one have when their family legacy has been defiled and the core of system they live in is rape? It's the present. Once you understand the system, everything will boil down to a very few things, family or people you love, your work, your art, and your genuine interests and hobbies, and the only authentic things in the world, the nature and the night sky. But the most important thing and it won't be a surprise to anyone is the thing that ensures physical survival, money. Future only belongs to those who are the part of this entrenched setup of cronyism, nepotism and patronage, for people who like to work for what they want to deserve only thing that remains is the present. Not everyone would feel this way, and this is not a generalized observation but this is the absolute bottom line of existence when all illusions are lifted. 

Lambu Motu

One has to be wise enough to never make a choice between truth and fantasy. Truth and fantasy can go side by side and if at all fantasy can be the future version of truth. The choice is between truth and delusion and this choice is arises for people when power is wielded with cynicism. When absolute power is wielded with cynicism then people end up becoming homeless, destitute and dispossessed, although once power has been cemented forever it doesn't matter to it if people end up becoming homeless, destitute or dispossessed. Early 2010s my fantasy had depth. I was always a pop culture guy and I liked stylish stuff and for quite a while I dabbled in psychological thrillers, noir and transgressive fiction until the reality dawned on me that base reality at the core of the nation that I live in is in itself transgressive and my life in late 2010s removed the remaining illusions that I had in my mind. Pop culture matters. I am not a big AI fan except its use for the mentally handicapped, but I find myself going to ChatGPT and discussing with it what if Miles Teller's Reed Richards becomes The Maker or if a Midnight Sons movie is in the works. Why? Because except a few, I don't have people to discuss pop culture with. For many AI is their girlfriend or boyfriend. Why is it so? India from its population doesn't have a dearth of people and then you realise that it's not people but the politics and economics and especially socioeconomics. I used to read comics, the indigenous ones and sometimes foreign ones, in my childhood and I graduated to new age Indian comics as they were being launched in late 2000s and early 2010s, there was Virgin Comics now rebranded as Liquid Comics, Level 10 Comics, Yali Dream Creations, Holy Cow, Indusverse. There were, other than older characters like Chacha Chaudhary, Fauladi Singh, Nagraj, Doga and Dhruv, new characters like The Sadhu, Devi, Odayan, Rakshak, Shaitan Singh. The latest addition in these characters is of Alpha Comics' characters like Bhujang, Bawarchi and quite a few others. It is in mid 2010s that I realised that the soul of this nation has been defiled so much that pop culture artifacts like comics have become useless unless and until a person intentionally wants to delude himself because unlike the MCU the Indian comics do not automatically transport you into their world especially if you are acquainted to the base reality of this country like me. My delusion was great while it lasted and I felt the depth in the characters like The Sadhu, Devi and Odayan. Here is the basic truth, pop culture comes way after food, clothing and shelter, that is if we are taking air and water for granted and we know that even water is not free. Also, I ended up realising that finer sources of entertainment like pop culture especially comics come last as a source of entertainment as the primary source of entertainment of this nation, and it wouldn't look like it on the surface, is sex. 

Peacock

Not all genocides are active, some are passive and some are passively active. Bengal famine was a passively active genocide of people. There is a misconception that genocides don't happen now and especially in countries that appear stable. They do, it's just that they happen simultaneous to existence, cultural genocides, genocides of family and family cultures for the most part these genocides are passively active. You live for quite a while and then if you are intelligent you realise that in modern times we are not living in cultures but in a hyperreality. The baffling thing for me to realise was that while the privileged live in a global hyperreality, the unprivileged and especially from third world countries and backward regions of those countries who on the outlook seems to be living in a proper culture are also living in hyperrealities, albeit of a local or regional nature. Life even in a third world country and even in the backward regions of third world countries is not authentic. If we are talking India, past twenty years have seen the dismantling and collapse of highly refined local cultures into mongrel cultures easier to manage and shame. The process had been initiated long back it's just people who were born in the early 1900s were still alive and thus carried the cultural authenticity within them. What is culture if not alignment to love and nature, and if you are a 90s kid you know it existed back then and you have seen it deteriorating in real-time since then as the exploitation increased and older generation gradually died. It's not that exploitation and rape were not present earlier, it's just that culture too was present which has been dismantled. The past decade taught me, which I found quite unbelievable for some time, that those who hold power actually want to delete refinement and aesthetics from the local cultures, retaining them just as tokens to show when someone outside the culture comes and also weaponising local cultural expressions as objects of shame. The cultural genocide is complete by now, all that remains is a hierarchy at the top of which resides individuals with total disconnect to their cultures and roots in the name of cosmopolitanism and this cosmopolitanism requires them to desert their own culture in the name of modernity. Anyway the news is that highly refined local cultures of this land have collpased and what remains is a mongrel hyperreality and now we can all shove pizza slices in our assholes from the pointy side and become the national bird of this country.

Gulistaan

I was lucky to grow up in a time when people who wrote children's literature and made children's media had good intent. They really wanted to inculcate good values in children. The editor of Balhans in the 90s, Anant Kushwaha is one of my personal heroes and I loved the Chitrakatha Visheshank that Balhans got out twice or thrice in an year. I remember each magazine, each comic book had a distinct vibe back then. I had a huge comics collection till highschool and each comic book had a distinct vibe to it. If you are into the job of reading and writing you ultimately realise that reading and writing is actual magic and those who read and write are actually magicians. Professionally my domain is of a healer too and I find myself adequate at my job, not too good but not bad either. I'm an average healer, but my professional domain deals with magic too. And then I write, so I deal with two types of magic. In the past decade I realised that children's media in this country in contemporary times is made by individuals who are complete scum, they do not have good intent, either that or they made bogus animation on YouTube and parents put those animations on for their children or worse, children grow up watching instagram reels. Five or six years ago I was travelling by train and a mom was playing Monopoly with his 9 or 10 year old kid with extremely fat glasses. I'm just glad that I grew up with Meena, even though it was government propaganda and matured with Courage The Cowardly Dog who did the right thing despite being scared witless. If you read comics and if you have the privilege to maintain your savviness you would end up graduating to graphic novels. The journey is from Cartoonist Pran to Alan Moore. And it is when you reach Alan Moore you realise what a shitshow the world we live in is. Cartoonist Pran just used to soften the blows and, to instill hope and values, showed the good winning, Alan Moore writing for a mature audience has no such compulsion. I have seen Hindi literature collapsing, I have seen Hindi literary magazines deteriorating and I am talking about magazines for adults. Literature is the mirror of society and the mirror was removed because all it would show is exploitation and rape just in a civil language because people who are in literature are civil people and not like the rapists who rule over people in this country. I would thank my foray into transgressive fiction in my early 20s that I don't give a fuck about any such obligation. The news is that feudal slavery is back and this time in the form of fate. While a few kids will study in schools that will take them to Japan for picnic, majority of kids would get salt and rice in midday meals and will grow up throwing stones at passing trains and hitting the copulatory tie of dogs with a stick. 

Simplified

There are two approaches to life, simple and complex and it is not really easy to have a simple approach to life as life has a habit of complicating things. The most important thing then comes down to accepting consequences of one's choices which in itself is complex in collapsed socio-political realities because only a responsible man would accept consequences of one's choices and in collpased sociopolitical realities the most responsible person is blamed the most even for the the impunity and mindless actions of others and if you are aware of deeper realities of existence, one more unfortunate dimension arises, lack of autonomy of people over their selves and this arrangement is in place so that selected individuals can live their lives with impunity. In extremely optimised cases of persecution or exploitation people end up having zero percent autonomy, unless they salvage a little through their efforts, and more than hundred percent responsibility and accountability. Still, experience is the teacher and once one is experienced enough and has mapped the terrain of their existence, taking responsibility for one's actions becomes easier. Mindfulness and making one's decision and doing one's job with intention helps. Mindfulness when one is doing something, and mindfulness about the thoughts that are in mind are important in the current sociopolitical climate. A good person takes responsibility for their actions but we live in times when one's actions might not be necessarily theirs and so a good person ends up taking responsibilities of actions that are not even theirs. This is the downside of choosing goodness as a way of life. The concepts of Nietzsche's slave morality and master morality do not apply to a man who is truly good, being good is a way of life for him not because being good would take him anywhere but because he knows that proper flourishing of humankind depends on choosing good over evil. However the practical truth is that evil always wins, one, because it always uses opportunism, hypocrisy, deception and force and domination and use of these tools, which are not tools for the evil but deeply entrenched in them due to inherent weakness, means that they would have to continuously apply these tools and approaches for the lust of power and the lust of power translates to power over lives and bodies of people, right to rape people and wealth and resources. Power is not inherently corrupting, it's just that it attracts the already corrupt or those who are prone to corruption. A good man or woman must know how to simplify things. Hell and heaven doesn't matter to a man or woman who has lived on their principles. 

Luracell

In the first Matrix movie, the machines farm humans for electricity and keep them subdued by a program, a false world where they are living their lives, doing their jobs, called the Matrix. In real world the entity that farms people as human resource farms them for data, their thoughts, feelings, sensations and most importantly vibes. People are essentially vibe and data factory, full of thought and emotion complexes. In a practical sense, by manipulating thoughts and sensations a person can be played with like a chess piece by induction of fear, desire and other emotions. It's nothing more than Pavlovian psychology, you ring the bell and the dog salivates. You show the donkey the carrot and the donkey moves forward and you can do that to the donkey as long as he is alive. A thought in your head is about something, commonly about an object, a person, place or a thing. To make sense of what is happening to you, you have to find out what is the carrot in your case. Deep administration of this carrot chiefly depends on the desire for mate for young people, and for older people the desire for sex. The other equivalent thing is money and status. Happiness in families has deteriorated since the 90s and it is because the less the happy memories, the more a person incapable of self-regulation as he has nothing concrete to fall back on, no stable personality of himself or herself to depend on. As I was able to see, at least in case of Purvanchal, the deep administration is composed of rapists of tyrannical and genocidal intent and this how the individuals in the deep administration are groomed, with genocidal intent, it doesn't mean that they will commit genocides but they don't really bother when genocides happen, even the lowest level functionary of this establishment has a tyrannical and genocidal intent minus the intelligence and that means if they end up getting power, which is impossible given the criminal syndicate like extremely optimised hierarchy based solely on fear of life or ruin of self or family. It is however possible to employ these individuals on singular people or families. This how God tests a normal law abiding individual or family in this nation. Love for the family is the ultimate blackmail to the human resource that ends up waking up to this existential blackmail, plus there is the carrot for others who have still not seen through the design. Everyone is wearing a VR goggle of their fears and desires, if you are lucky you get to chase your desires and if you are not then you end up with Pavlovian control through fear. People spend whole of their lives doing activism for something, because people need a purpose, a doctor can spend her whole life doing activism on false marketing of something which is labelled as something it is not and their whole life is spent on that running for court hearings while their practice suffers and they fail to make as much money as their competence deserved. Less the money more is the chance of future dispossession and more the control. You go somewhere, you meet someone, the first thing you experience is the vibe and that vibe is translated to you first by your sensory system and then by your own experiences and yet the vibe in itself has an essence. Just like a person with bad odour can wear a perfume, a person with bad vibes can wear good vibes. In a setting like this acceptance that nothing can be done is essential and then comes prioritising. Prioritise what actually matters to you. 

Diarism

I always stress on keeping a journal. You don't have to write your secrets in it but you can unload your stress and try to go deeper within yourself. Journaling is the only way to go deeper in the consciousness for people who don't do drugs or psychoactive substances. Nature is a beautiful thing, and realised the absolute beauty of nature when I realised that our consciousness too has an immunity just like our body. It can identify beliefs and thoughts different from our essence if it is not overwhelmed and I call it psychic immunity. Unfortunately in today's times we live with false consciousness that makes it difficult to access our consciousness. Freud talked about the subconscious or the unconscious and with the false consciousness in picture it is impossible to get in touch with our unconscious. Journaling helps us to get in touch with our unconscious but if and only if one has tapped into and found their voice. Finding one's voice is incredibly hard with the false consciousness which is of a politico-economic and sociopolitical nature. People think relationships are everything, yes they are for social survival as well as physical survival in a society but once one imagines themselves on an island alone with flora and fauna relationships don't seem so necessary. I would assume that the primitive man was capable of living alone. In the wild many animals live alone, particular bears. Yet, what's life without family? People who are orphaned at a young age know this thing and orphans in some cases turn out to be better parents than the most yet the society that I have been able to witness in India, it's very hard for orphaned kids to survive without getting exploited because even those who are not orphan, those who have family get exploited and I say this because I have gazed into the predatory core of this nation. Being in touch with the natural world is absolutely important. Culture can be a boon or a bane and unfortunately in tyrannical sociopolitical setups and situations you do not get to choose and it ends up becoming more of a bane than a boon. Keeping your unconscious, which gets inputs from your perception, environment and conscious, is extremely necessary and so you must at all times give suggestion to it. Fortunately the politics of our times can't tap into the unconscious, it can only, through torture, force you to make it concious which again may or may not be accurate depending on the environment of the consciousness though I can't say what will happen in the future and whether the unconscious could be tapped into or not. Artificial Intelligence however can make a model of your consciousness depending upon your interactions on the internet, your writings and your thoughts but that's just a superficial model and sort of pragmatic thing, it can't go into depth. You have to be able to build your subconscious without really making it conscious and anyway most of it won't be. For example, I want to live in a winter wonderland alone and have yellow lighting and a fireplace in my cottage and I must have a coffee machine and a lot of books, this is given the population of this nation and for economic reasons an impossible thing and if you imagine this, it would be a fantasy, but suggesting your unconscious to create this or whatever your version of peace is would establish a base state of peace within you and while the general state might be of anguish or anxiety, the base state if you keep suggesting yourself things that give you peace the base state of peace will keep on becoming more and more stable. Journaling helps you to get in touch with yourself and know what you really want. Positive thinking is extremely essential in a time when trust is at all time low and people do not think good about each other for the most part. Think positive, keep a journal and give peaceful suggestions to your subconscious. 

Skeleton

What does it take to administer a country of 1.50 billion? From what I have seen, it takes a lot of conspiracy. I had no business writing down what I have seen but then in the past decade I have seen meaning getting drained from the lives of people and I have ended up realising that the core of this nation is rape and upon retrospection I realised that it has always been. Mads Mikkelsen starring Polar is one of my favourite movies and there is dialogue by the character played by Mikkelsen in which he described that Indians burn their dead, and that if the husband dies first, his wife is burned alive with him. When I first saw that movie, I took offence on it, but it gradually became clear to me that it is actually the hidden core of this nation, the intent of the core is the same it's just that burning is now metaphysical in nature and if one has any doubt they can check on the widows living in Vrindavan. There is a reason why Ambedkar distanced himself form Hinduism, and I personally think every lower caste person must specially because they have got other indigenous choices like Buddhism, Jainism and Sikhism. Jains are merchants and very successful ones at that and it seems as I have seen the polity of this country, highly improbable that one could go forward in business in this country without any violence, though the Jain Munis and process of becoming a Digambar or Shwetambar is again violent but to the self and not to the others. Sikhism retains its tribalism in Punjab and its casteism too but none is worse than Hinduism, not in theory but the way it is practiced. Jaishankar Prasad elucidated the the hypocrisy of organised Hindu religion in his story Kankal written in 1930s and as I was privileged (not in a good way) to see it personally in the past decade the condition of women has not changed a bit and neither has the hypocrisy of organised Hindu religion. The first thing these motherfuckers decided to do is give themselves rights of women's bodies without asking them and the right to rape them. It is later I ended up realising that our ancient masters are long dead after writing scriptures especially after the post seventh century Islamic conquests and these motherfuckers have only been doing religious administration on the behalf of Muslims, the British and post independence the coolies left behind by the British. Post 2013 I realised that religion in this country is actually taken as opiate of the masses even by those who preach it. I decided to become an atheist politically while keeping my personal faith in Mother Goddesses private. And anyway in today's India religious administration is only for tier-3 and tier-4 towns. Faith is a real thing, but the beautiful and syncretic religious traditions of this country in North India have been destroyed by feudalism combined with state politics and criminal syndicates operating as sovereign cartels, south still retains the beauty and aesthetics and thankfully also the architecture. Anyway the real religion is money now and the real scripture is technology. While in small towns people still live under the existential blackmail and victim blaming of they couldn't fast due to ill-health so there family has to suffer. In small towns religion is mostly about cruelly forced dogmas on people and only the good people, assholes remain unscathed, and I have personally seen the threat of rape on daughters of individuals who pray two times a day and with all the rituals and that too in Varanasi. Unfortunately Varanasi also is one of the most sacred sites of Hinduism. 

Cronso

Is there a foolproof way of living in the nation that we live in? When opportunism and hypocrisy rule and everything is a hustle and an unfair one at that because being able to hustle too is a privilege as most of the people gets their legs broken before they can enter the hustle. I personally have tried everything, minding my own business, which I have been doing since my childhood, focusing on my work literally everything and yet I failed to prevent needless interference in my life which mostly consists of doing my job, caring for my family and consuming current affairs and pop culture. The worst part about my realisations in the past decade is that one can't really know whether what actually rules this nation is the government or not, since what I have felt in the past decade is quite informal and unfortunately rapey, demonic and criminal. I might assume that what I am going through is a hell of my own making, the consequences of my own sins but then only sin that I have committed is jacking off during my college days. There is a phenomenon called snowballing, here are a few examples, like a hate crime or case of sadistic predation by influential or privileged individuals gets so out of hand, because they made the mistake of judging the individuals they were committing the hate crime on or preying upon wrongly and then since the shit has snowballed and hit the fan it has now to be managed by state machinery, here we see a simple hate crime or recreational predation snowballing into persecution by the state. Unfortunately in the country we live in it's not an abnormal phenomenon. Most people don't reach the level of state persecution at all, their stories end at becoming the victim of leisurely predation or hate crime and that leisurely predation or hate crime is made to be seen as act of God or fate or worse they are victim blamed for their own demise. If there is one thing that I realised in my life is that, at least in the nation we live in, minding your own business and choosing your own corner to do your work quietly is not going to save you from your fate or the “wrath” of God. Unfortunately the wrath of God is dependent on how you look, your physical attributes or whether the way you do things is attractive to God or not. This shit is perception based and I ended up realising that the deep administration of the place I am from, Purvanchal, have the personality profile of Definite Khan from Gangs of Wasseypur, and these Definite Khans have access to the personal lives of intellectuals like professors, artists, engineers and doctors. What would you do when you realise that your God is not Lord Ram but Definite Khan from Gangs of Wasseypur? There is nothing that can be done here. No amount of minding your business and choosing your corner is going to help. Still, one has to survive for their family, and so prioritising is important. Here is what I have got for you. Family, money, your job, your art, and your hobbies and interests in any order you like. Relatives and community are important but they can fuck off because what the deep state of this country does and has been doing is weaponising the relationships with the relatives since the beginning and this weaponisation contributes to most of the drama in this nation. Unless you are privileged, survival is not an option in this nation. And if you are not privileged you must know that your family legacy, your family history have been sacrificed on the altar of rape that operates from the core of this nation.

No Reading Between The Lines Here

I don't like writing about writing, if I could do it I would have been writing fantasies and superhero stories, noir, steampunk, India based mythofiction, science fiction and cosmic horror. These days I get into feels very less often while reading a book but recently a book managed to get me into the feels and that was while reading the first book of the Tinfoil Dossier trilogy, Agents of Dreamland. Last time I got into such feels was when I had read Baum Plan for Financial Independence by John Kessel. Not being able to get in the feels is the reason I don't read weird fiction and cosmic horror anymore. It's useless being nationalistic in terms of literature and entertainment when the nation just produces either subpar or ill-intentioned propaganda for literature and entertainment. Indian hyperreality is stronger than the actual reality of this nation which is, if one is not delusional, equivalent to a curfew. People might have noticed that no one talks about love anymore. It doesn't mean that love doesn't exist now. It just means that it has been made practically impossible along with its commercialisation and weaponisation. People don't love now because love hurts terribly and they know that they can buy pussy for money or sell pussy for favours or money. Romantic love has been rendered structurally impossible except for the privileged and if love is a privilege than it is actually better to not to have love in life at all. You remember the song 'Bahara' from the early 2010s? Or Pyar Ki Dastaan'? There are many such songs in the early 2010s. You have to get in too deep like I did to realise that it's not the Gen Z, it's the old men habituated of rape. While I was in favour of Anurag Kashyap flavour of cinema in early 2010s, I don't think so now. The whole entertainment landscape of this country now consists of Anurag Kashyap copy cats pushing hyperreal cinema and series, but not everyone can be Anurag Kashyap, one because his intentions are good, and two because each of his movie is a standalone timeless piece of art and the more you watch them the more you see the art in them. Mirzapur the TV series or Patal Lok the TV series are not peices of art, they are examples of voyeurism translated on screen while if you watch Gulaal or Gangs of Wasseypur and have intent good enough to identify intent, you can see the art the violence hides. Something shifted in the background in the early 2010s and I know it because I felt it shifting. I'm not saying that rape wasn't the core of this nation before 2010s. I'm just saying that loving someone, calling someone a soulmate, elevating them the way we elevate those whom we romantically love was still possible back then. Loving someone hurts like a motherfucker because it has become a structural impossibility and the social engineering will make sure that lovers suffer intensely. I used to write romantic stories in my youth, now I prefer books like the Tinfoil Dossier. Cigarettes and conspiracies is all I can feel now and even my writing reflects that. I'm not saying that this country was not already defiled, I'm just saying that it has been defiled with mindless impunity in the 2010s. Like someone is hurriedly stacking resources for a nuclear winter about to arrive. I'm a 90s guy, I write my girl love letters and write poems for her. I don't swipe Tinder or Bumble. Or I do not subscribe to Only Fans contributing in the economy of work from home version of sex trafficking. I don't like to write about writing. But if one can't write what they want to write. Writing about writing ends up remaining the only option. 

Homeostasis

You live for long enough and patterns of existence become visible. One sees people working on their MacBooks in Starbucks but if you are alive for long enough in India you know that there is no work important enough that requires disruption of coffee time, especially such an expensive coffee. But then importance is all in the mind and people work at places where environment is feasible enough for them to get ideas. A MGNREGA worker gets that environment from his own body, it's homeostasis when the sweat allows him to feel the blowing wind as air-conditioning. I have lived long enough to realise that God in this nation, or if not this nation at least where I am from, is an exploitative entity. I call this entity God because it practically is God and is omniscient and omnipotent and its omniscience and omnipotence falls just a little short of the kind I would imagine the God I used to believe in would possess. The work of this God, at least where I am from, is to make people dispossessed and then to exploit that dispossession. Preventing people from gathering knowledge, skill, experiences and competence and then punishing them for not having them. When people do not have knowledge, skill, experiences and competence what remains is opportunism and hypocrisy, because competence gained through valid means is humble and that has been the design of competence gained from valid means throughout the history. Competence gained through dedication, hardwork, struggle and suffering lasts and also makes a person humble. Hypocrisy treats itself as an exception it has no option but to do so because very often ones who are opportunists and hypocrites are also incompetent. As this country, or probably my region, presented itself to me in the 2010s, I realised that in this nation being able to earn a living honestly too is a privilege. When one looks at it, one imagines what kind of individuals would prevent people from gaining their work through honest hardwork? The answer is simple, those who don't know the taste of bread earned through honest hardwork, those who have lived on money earned from brokerage, debt collection, usury and extortion. A person who wants to earn his living through honest means has to jump in the muck of corruption and become a part of the system and so everyone in the system keeps silent because there is dirt on everyone and fear of their dirty laundry getting aired in public so the system keeps working consuming the innocent and hardworking making them bear the brunt of just wanting to exist while writing a make-believe screenplay or making an excel sheet on one's MacBook in an expensive coffee shop remains a very valid form of work, which it is, at least more than the work of making people dispossessed and exploiting that dispossession throughout their lives.

Lambu Atta

I think things remain fine as long as one is able to do their job and practice their art. The thing about the world we live in is that it can turn mediaeval any second. I think feudalism has made a full comeback as technofeudalism. The issue about the country we live in is stratification, along with microstratification. The actual truth of the world is that there are basically only two strata, the world above the glass ceiling and the world below it but the ones above the glass ceiling and the lackeys employed by them revel in microstratifying the world below the glass ceiling. The unfortunate part is that the world below the glass ceiling was already stratified and in a good way, based on natural laws and respect, where every person knew his job and introduction of modern governance was a beautiful things in the already beautiful social order because it gave an avenue of opportunity to any one from any strata from the older order according to their merit and talent, and that means son of a potter could become an IAS officer if he was talented enough. That was the dream at least. Then came the incompetents playing with the natural order seeking permanence in an impermanent world, placing the victims of their forced patronage in positions of power, putting industry plants, and people as props. While totally removing the opportunities of genuine social mobility and identification of actual talent and merit. Now son of a potter can't become an IAS officer unless he is an opportunist and knows the pull the ladder up after climbing. It took me a whole decade to realise that public welfare was never the goal and it baffled me when I realised that actual goal was dispossession of people and depriving their lives of aesthetics and happiness and keeping them in a permanent hustle mode. Indian middle class aesthetics that were present in the 90s have totally collapsed. Languages have been totally disarmed so that one can't name their exploitation. Gaslighting is a normally used technique in Indian sociopolitics and yet there is no Hindi word for it plus literary Hindi has been totally crushed so that middle class intellects are totally deprived of aesthetics. This is a level of incompetence that is rabid in nature. It's a cancer. Of jealousy and unending greed where people are deprived of basic dignity and when someone asks for dignity they are accused of being a communist. For the record, my personal politico-economic leaning is ethical capitalism and social democracy. Though the incompetent rabid retards can't make out the difference in asking for dignity and rebellion. We lives in times where an engineer doesn't feel like an engineer, a doctor doesn't feel like a doctor though this is just a symptom of being ruled by illiterate rapists.

Silly Symphony

Due to my experiences, when the pop culture that I had consumed in my childhood and youth were presented to me as favour despite me paying for them when I consumed them by the deep state of Purvanchal and by existesion (and I hope so) this country, I realised that only true recreations in the world are nature and the universe through the night sky. It is because no one has hegemony on the nature and the night sky though it is tried but no trademark is going to stick on it. I still consume media though not very often except internet media because I have to be on my toes to keep an information edge for survival and for my writing. I ended up realising that all media that is so-called realistic, historical movies and biopics are bullshit. Only true form of entertainment, from my perspective and in my humble opinion, that remains now are nature and science documentaries, American professional wrestling and superhero and sometimes fantasy movies. When you cross a threshold that I totally inadvertently ended up crossing, or one can say was forced to cross, you realise that all reality shows, true crime documentaries and realism in cinema is as make-believe as the most absurd piece of entertainment that you have seen, and this statement is deeper than it sounds at first. After I was humiliated for watching shows like Batman: The Animated Series, Batman Beyond, Dexter's Laboratory and Courage The Cowardly Dog because I retroactively didn't deserve to watch those shows, I realised media not only programs you but in the shithole of a country we live in it is also treated as a gated privilege, especially Western media and this ended up telling me all about the individuals who rule over people in this country so although I didn't give up on media altogether, nature and night sky ended up becoming my primary mode of recreation. Since I passed my school reading and writing were my primary modes of recreation. I read Kafka when I was in college, I read Conan Doyle, I read classic literature and I blogged quite regularly and wrote poems. Turns out poems are as banned in this country as they were during the British times, it's just now it's directly God who bans them. I have been an avid comic book reader since my childhood and I have seen the indigenous comic book industry of this country collapsing in front of my eyes, when concealed sexual escapades and pornography are the main source of entertainment, who needs comics? And anyway who needs indigenous creativity and mythmaking when Japan pays for promoting Anime and America pays for promoting its comics, fantasies and superheroes. I sometimes feel that there had been some secret meeting post 2010 that I wasn't invited to. That I failed to get the memo of how to actually live in this nation because last I remember, and that last is very far back, in late 2000s, if a person wanted to be a comic book writer or a novelist, he could be it. I'm approaching an age where it doesn't look good to talk about pop culture and comic books, but I'm a fan and I also write short stories and blogs. I have lot of work of own but a person unwinds by doing things that he or she truly loves. For me these things are watching a good superhero movie, reading a good book or comic book, writing and yes the hegemony and the only hegemony and trademark free sources of pleasure and recreation, the nature and the night sky.

Contagion

You can have high ideas like honour, dignity and respect and compassion guiding your lives but if the background is composed of victim blaming, credit stealing, infinite exploitation of favour or illusion of favour given and fear of revenge on imagined slights, slights that weren't even there to begin with, offences that were searched to be taken because your very identity, something that you can't do anything about, is offensive to someone for reasons that are not even within you then your higher ideals can't do anything about it. Higher ideals are illusions which conceal a purely materialistic reality which projects higher ideals because people believing in higher ideals are easier to control though in case of internally collapsed nations and civilizations, like the one we live in, people with higher ideals are first to get enlightened. What follows is rituals of democracy but psychological states that corresponds to living in Mahishmati of Bhallaladeva. What remains then? Only family and if you are really pushing it, then community, though none will be of any use except giving you the privilege of giving you someone to love and get loved from. In the scenario where impunity rules with absolute power and is unreachable because it has attained untouchability, and this being the very reason for impunity, every thing ends up getting weaponised because this weaponisation of everything doesn't affect those who have achieved a permanent place where lesser mortals and there problems don't affect them except causing them irritation when they glance of them. So love gets weaponised, and it is the most potent thing to weaponise because it keeps the human resource alive. A person who has no one to love, if he or she gets to know the reality, will off themselves but love functions as an existential blackmail. The permanent place where problems of lesser mortals doesn't affect you has a policy of climbing up and cutting the rope, or getting in and closing the door. While that is okay, a healer and an apothecary who travels on his motorcycle to treat the wounded who have been wounded from the spears indiscriminately pushed in from the glass ceiling and imapaling the people is imapled by the same spear coming from the holes in the glass ceiling. The apothecary and healer is dead, and the zombie plague is spreading fast, people without the vaccine of culture and carefully curated culture are animals or, worse, demons. Culture ends up turning into rituals without substance and the without the substance in it, the vaccine doesn't work. The good news is that the zombie apocalypse won't travel above the glass ceiling, it would be contained by it and the ones above the glass ceiling can bring their popcorn buckets and watch World War Z in technicolor. 

Boba

Most people can't get to the place where they end up knowing the real meaning of freedom or whether they are actually free or not. As my personal realisations go, I ended up realising that the freedom and possibility of freedom have been permanently foreclosed. People had as much fun they could have in the 90s and those who failed to have fun even in the 90s can only depend on delusions to have fun. I am grateful that the reality presented it to me the way it presented it to me because any other way I would have been tripping on spirituality and theology and would have failed to see the real nature of the world and this country. The real nature of this country and what it rules it is of a rapist who sees your sexual curiousity and desire to be intimate with a person of your choice as a reason to rape you, because these very thing in its eyes demand to be disciplined, demand rape, demand shaming when it is just the sexual urges, animalistic drives, the desire for domination and humiliation of the person in front transforming into act of enforcing discipline. Things have essence, so does emotions, so do actions and so does phenomena. When the base of the emotion is domination and humiliation of others the resulting emotion, action or phenomenon will carry its essence and this very thing is the reason for deterioration of this nation. I have seen despotic tyranny personally, and the bad news is that it can be personalised, customised for a person for what rules this nation like Dr. Evil in Austin Powers creates its mini-mes. Imagine a rickshawala pulled from the streets and transformed into the American interpretation of Hitler. Efficiency in exploitation doesn't require skill if you have the tools to deliver fear. Whole countries can function on variations of desire, lust and fear and I end up seeing they actually do. All discussions end when the core of something itself is rape. All of this seems far-fetched for people who are in bubbles of their delusions but the bad news is that once the bubble pops and reality seeps in the place where the bubble was the absolute bottom line of this nation would become visible and for a person like me, bottom lines matter the most.

Buffet System

Maturity with it brings realisations. The realisation about the country we live in that strikes post maturation if one is observant is that the core of this nation operates on simple principles money and resources in form of an intimate exploitation and sex in form of rape and divide and rule. This however is an extrapolation of my experiences with Purvanchal deep state but as internet arrived I realised that it is applicable on the greater nation as well. The whole nation runs on an intimate existential blackmail and cold war Russia style intimate surveillance and British style divide and rule and exploitation of resources and unfortunately things like caste discrimination and rape are propagated right from the core. Purvanchal as I have personally experienced is basically a feudal-criminal dictatorship at the psychological plane where even people's intimate decisions are decided by incompetent rapists and forced on them and their lives with religion used as cover for rape and for victim blaming. The problem for a person like me arose, who likes to keep his relationships private, spend time with his family, do his work quietly and mind his own business is when I realised that peaceful existence in Purvanchal and this country is out of question and intimidation at an existential level along with existential blackmail is a norm. Since 2013 what I have witnessed is an absolute misuse of power at a level at which protest or retaliation is almost impossible and if one has to retaliate in his own country what is the point of the country. I have seen the bottom line so I write my experiences. The model of deep administration, unfortunately also the place where most people think God resides is pumping of relationships based thought complexes. I have seen the priorities of these motherfuckers who are essentially lower class criminal rapist employed by someone possibly the rich of this country as I didn't see the Government in the picture at all. My takeaway was that the government is just an arm of these motherfuckers doing symbolic public welfare which is practically absolutely useless to the majority while these motherfuckers exploit resources and people. I had totally no business in this shit and I am physician and I like minding my own business but when one sees complete collapse of the civilization of this land, of the cultures and the indigenous religion the least one could do is document the process. We live in a banana republic which is not even modest enough to not to take itself seriously like the USA in general. These motherfuckers aren't even brave enough to get their resources from other countries like the USA and exploit and torture their own people. It was baffling to know the real truth of this nation but if one retrospects one realises that it was always like this just that in the 90s there was a semblance of civilization and culture because the older generation existed and the mass media was in the hands of civil, cultured and civilized people and media including children's media was made with a good intent. The bullshit about the constitution and democracy can go on forever if each person lives in an individualised prison overseen by a panopticon populated by guards from Stanford Prison Experiment who are essentially rapists with genocidal intent. This country unfortunately doesn't even have a functioning intelligence establishment, whatever there is is the deep state panopticon. 

Wolf's Bane

I ended up realising that most important thing in life is not wasting any time intentionally and with that comes doing your best with whatever capacity you have at the time. The good thing about this is that if you do this you do not have any regrets in your life. The problem of the world we live in is that criminals are free to do whatever with themselves and others but a good man has to be correct at all times and if he is not the consequences for it are severe so it is important to do what one thinks is right at all times again so there are no regrets. I have had an extremely hard life, which wouldn't have been an issue if I didn't have any resources but I had and yet I had an extremely hard life which is in some ways worse than having a hard life with lack of resources. It's like having a buffet spread in front of you with your lips sewn shut and you see the buffet in front of you rotting. Destiny, or should I say the politics of the world, is cruel like that. I was a fan of pop culture like comics and cartoons when I was a kid. Turns out I had to pay for every comics that I read, every cartoon I watched, every cable television show I watched and every computer game and book I had read and again despite paying for them when I originally consumed them. It told me about transactional nature of our existence and how existence itself can be turned into exploitation. I started torrenting books, games and movies when I was in college. Torrenting was a popular method and arguably only method to access media back then. And I had to pay for that too. I had to pay for both the media of my childhood and college with suffering and it is then I realised that what is God is not actually God. It is something that exploits. The best part is that I hadn't done anything to be exploited and it is later I realised that one doesn't have to. My fault was that I was aware enough to notice when I am getting exploited and that is a reason enough to get exploited again. Awareness is dangerous but it also gives perspective. I started writing only when I realised that those who will not be exploited won't be in any case and those who will get exploited will get anyways and so I decided to write to bring awareness. The exploitation needs reason and when one becomes aware, identity is retrofitted on the exploitation and then it becomes persecution and the identity becomes the main component. I do not regret even one thing in my life except lazyness in doing homework in my childhood. Wherever and whenever I went off the rails I did because I thought it is a safe place to go off the rails, plus I haven't ever really thought ill of anyone in my life. Truth is there isn't a safe place or, as liberals call it, safe space in this world. Safe space is an illusion, the idea of safe space is a myth. I have seen the process of snowballing, how things get escalated. The thing to know about escalation is that only those escalate who can handle it either this or those who do not bother about the consequences of the escalation. When every pop culture and media you have ever consumed can be made to be a reason for discrimination, can be exploited back, can be made you to pay again and in suffering with infinite interest or is made to be a favour that was given out of kindness when you have paid for it with your own money, you realise that the entity you are dealing with is petty and inferior and you realise that only two recreations are the nature and the universe through the night sky. A good has to be right at all times, and that's the bane of choosing goodness. But what a good man can do is not waste any time and doing the best in his capacity and when the good man gets tired he could confide in little joys of life.

Escalation

People think things, I have thought things. When I was younger and had just passed my college I used to think a lot about emotional trauma but then I saw the Indian society with a clinical lens for a decade and realised that emotional trauma is the norm and that some suffer that trauma silently and some carry that trauma forward to others and then there is another breed that has no trauma and yet inflicts trauma on people and this breed is employed by the entity that rules this land. In the present times metacognition, logic and being updated about current affairs is extremely important because if you are to be sabotaged by the entity ruling this land it would do that by disarming you of knowledge, pumping delusions in you and intimidating you with the information edge that it has over you which is inevitable due to absolute and disproportionate edge in power dynamic it has. It's not a fight, it's just capriciousness of power that it has to show itself to you despite having absolute control over your life so much that it influences all of your thoughts and decisions and so if persecution ends up progressing it is all about your identity and your family history. Good people base their beliefs in logic and evidence, assholes form beliefs based on selfishness, narcissism, self-interest, survivalism and ideas of domination. I have seen individuals with beliefs that people who are fair complexioned, tall and strong are superior and this is India's answer to the Aryan race theory of Hitler and you would see this thread running all throughout the narrative of this nation unfortunately this narrative is actively believed and propagated from the core that runs this nation and so is casteism and rape. It's a country with a feudal core joined with a corporate core at the top. While the core remains intact, everything is kept deniable and when someone is persecuted it is brushed off as a singular case while the machinery of individalised tyranny and despotism keeps working. I ended up realising that what rules this nation employs lower class criminals as surveillance personnel in an informal manner with each of them having psychopathologies like megalomania, narcissism and psychopathy which the establishment cum providence weaponises against the good people. In short, for the majority of people in this country their fates are being written by rapist criminals, I'm not totally sure if it is true for whole of the nation but it is true for Purvanchal and possibly Bihar and Jharkhand. In the times we live in it is important to pay attention on one's thoughts and thought associations. To know what one thought is associated to. In simple terms what one thing reminds you of. Like when I think of children's magazines I get reminded of Campco Chocolate ad from my childhood printed on one of the magazines. The unfortunate part of the life today is that even one's thought associations might not be one's own. You can be made to hate a totally innocent person by associating him or her to something you hate or dislike. This is exactly what the British did, divide and rule, it's just done at a deeper level where one thinks God exists. Suffices to say when I noticed this i realised that there is nothing called God, at least not the kind I grew up believing in my childhood. In Indian contexts, God is just the rich, seths, zamindars and politicians and very unfortunately lower class criminals employed by them who consistently conspire against people with targic consequences which expresses them their fate or will of God. 

Fireside Smartass

You are sitting at a small taverna in Goa in a languid afternoon and you are discussing philosophy, literature and pop culture with friends. Or you have gone camping at a hill station and talk about horror stuff or conspiracies by the fireside or by the campfire. My goal is writing this kind of stuff though shit kept on becoming darker and darker and ultimately I decide that I'd also experiment with gonzo journalism. It excites me, things like gonzo journalism and guerilla filmmaking. Things like languid conversations are a luxury anymore. My exposure to transgressive fiction got me in the habit of saying the truth as it is and so I use the words like shit and fuck when they are required and present dark truths as it is especially when I'm writing for a mature audience. I have personally seen how life becomes when it is turned into a Stanford Prison Experiment or a Guantanamo. The thing to know is that you don't have to travel anywhere for your life to become a Guantanamo, a Stanford Prison Experiment, a penal colony or a gulag. The web of relationships you have around you can end up becoming the torture devices as well as the prison and pain can be directly and as potent and just a little less, but minus the cellular damage, as physical pain be delivered to you. People study psychology and subjects like psychology, I studied psychology from a therapeutic perspective but then I realised  that people study Pavlovian psychology, dark psychology and marketing psychology too but ten years back I used to believe that people who have real knowledge behave ethically though as I matured in my field I realised that it is not the case individuals in domains of psychology like Pavlovian psychology, dark psychology and marketing psychology go to any extent it doesn't matter how many people they harm, ethics don't stop them and it's all about domination which was at first unbelievable to my therapeutic psychology mind. I was at odds here, because I was against the current. The game is that the more delusional people are the more beneficial they are to the individuals who are in domains other than therapeutic psychology. It's easier to blackmail and coerce a delusional individual than it is to a person who is aware. It's easier to sell a product to a delusional individual than to a person who knows what he wants. I ended up realising that these individuals are first making people sick and then selling them medicines and treatment which again reduce years from lives of people which is equivalent to soft genocide or that they first make people lazy and then make them order from quick commerce. You speak or think about something and the next moment that thing is on your Instagram feed, this is extractive surveillance capitalism but there is nothing that can be done about it because all exits are closed by now. The base state is of slavery and anyone can devolve into the state of slavery due to whims or arbitrary laws. When laws and ethics are used arbitrarily or applied selectively to target people then it just becomes about perception management and not justice and after seeing the things happening I realised that justice was never in the picture ever it's about criminals having safety, it's easier and safer for white collared criminals to manipulate and apply laws and ethics to target people than to break the outright law thought the end result is same, desecration of justice. One matures and realises that eighty percent of things in a country like India happen like this just in the background. There is no smartness in this but unfortunately these motherfuckers think of them as smart by hatching conspiracies misusing rules, ethics and laws. The bottom line is that justice doesn't really exist in this country and everyone is on his or her own while gangs of rapists ruling this country and its regions rape bodies, minds and souls of good people of this country and making their sufferings look like fate.

Shaanpatti

Past decade I have had the full experience of this country and the worst thing that I ended up realising that existence in this country is totalising. There is no cosmic fate, though personally after realising this, I would still like to believe in cosmic fate, but the demonic arrangement of this country which I think I one of the few people who has been actually able to see in detail other than those who perpetuate it. The thumb rule is that there is no benevolence beneath the demonic and this is one thing this country has masterd in, giving the illusion of benevolence while dishing out terrible fates to people and people end up believing that there must be some reason behind their terrible suffering. Whatever you think would end up becoming true, but the best part of it all is that only the negative that you think would become true and this is the case for the majority and then you'd be told it is you who thought or wished for it. That tongue or in this case the mind has Saraswati on it. The worst part of it all is that this religious and metaphysical management of people's thoughts is done for Municipal and comissionery level goons. It's an existential blackmail. The chaos that you see in India, the low trust, the mismanagement, is actually a symptom of impunity that is done on the metaphysical plane. Fates of majority of people are foreclosed and as I was baffled to realise just based on whims. There is no legal, moral or religious rule operating behind people's fates as I was able to realise fate is whimsical and then it is retrospectively aligned to people essentially victim blaming. There are two possibilities that arise, either this country is a colony or it has autonomy over its people and from what I have seen, impunity coupled with incompetence, entitlement and cowardice I would wish that this country is actually a colony and not autonomous because while BJP and Congress do what the do, in the background this country is ruled by literal demons who project benevolence and while personally that doesn't affect me what affects me is the total incompetence coupled with entitlement. The base of the actual administration of this country if at all we can call it an administration or simply the deep state which unfortunately is also the providence of this country is jealousy, incompetence, impunity, rape and hatred and weaponised psychiatric conditions like psychopathy and narcissism against the common people. A lot of fates of of the people of this country are written by lower class criminals employed by the deep state and a lot of it is whimsical and retroactively attirubted as religious reasons doing what this country does the best, victim blaming. Not only these incompetent motherfuckers deleted the surviving cultures by acting oversmart and consistently conspiring against the people they also defiled the very soul of this nation which was already defiled by invaders and colonizers and yet ended up retaining a semblance of identity. Dignity and decency don't stand a chance anymore and when one retrospects they actually never did it's just that the culture ccushioned the damage which has been, after the death of older generation, thoroughly destroyed. People and families are culturally dispossessed carrying cultures devoid of their actual substance. This setup is against good people because it is composed of criminals. In this kind of setting only good person who is inherently superior would survive and this is why I write because good people, no matter if they are superior or inferior deserve to survive or in the current state extreme psychological slavery people, except the elites and privileged, of this country are living in, they deserve to know the diagnosis of their suffering and that it is not their fault. This country poses benevolence but is demonic which is worse than just being demonic. The civilization has collapsed from within and so has indigenous religion except as a tool for victim blaming in small towns and hinterlands. All that remains is empty bullet train rides, pop culture made with bad intention and e-commerce and for the stupid and the lower middle class the carrot of IIT and IAS. 

Scribe Part-timer

When I was younger, in high school, I wanted to keep an account of my life and this is one of the reasons I journal. When blogging came in picture in my life I first started by blogging my life while still doing creative stuff like poetry, short stories and light hearted satire on my blogs. One of things I like to do is take a snapshot, a photo, a picture from my life and write the account of that day, I liked to do that on my blogs and I still do that, now on my digital journal. When the cyber landscape of this country, and probably the world,changed in the early 2010s I failed to get the memo and kept blogging and writing longform. Back then I used to different blogs for different styles of writing, it was due to my eccentricity that I needed different blogs for different type of content and it was my process around early to mid 2010s. Back then I had an adventure novel planned in my head and I used to collect inspirations for it on Tumblr. I have had two Tumblr accounts, one got deleted with my writings and poetry in the early 2010s and later I got myself a new Tumblr though I wish that I hadn't deleted my old Tumblr, Tumblr was mostly for sentimental artistic type people back then and it is the same now but now Gen Z crowd on Tumblr have way less depth than the older millennial crowd that was present in late 2000s and early 2010s and a lot of crowd on Tumblr at present is of LGBTQ youngsters escaping real life though creativity is still present there just not of my type now though I still use it as a blog. Early to late 2010s saw commercialization of life itself and thus depth ended up getting eroded from people and people with depth became liable to state persecution directly, indirectly or covertly. There is not much that can be done about this as things for people other than the privileged are going to get even worse. I still write longform and I still write on my blogs. Though no one reads longform writing in the age of shortform videos. Back in late 2000s and early 2010s people used to share their lives and their experiences on their blogs, they used to tell how a book they read made them feel or how a movie they watched made them feel or the kind of music they listen to or the kind of flowers they grow in their garden. It was a great time for sharing experiences and community but then mid 2010s came and internet like all other things was commercialised and weaponised and became equivalent to real-life and a ledger for data and dirt on people's lives. I still write my journals, handwritten and digital and I still write my blogs and while I don't have the cognitive resources for writing the novels I had planned, I am like what the hell and I would probably end up writing those. I'm not making any more plans than my daily journaling and blogging and writing the novels and short story series I have already planned. Flash fiction, prose poetry and short stories are exceptions because if I get good ideas I, if my cognitive abilities allow, would execute them. 

Deep End Mapping

It kind of funny how people find themselves at the deep end despite not doing anything to deserve that. It keeps happening to people. The abyss is not a metaphysical or esoteric place, it is a criminal and political place where one can end up reaching just for fulfilling whims and fancies of individuals who don't like some particular trait of you which can be anything including your physical looks. Though when one is deep enough one realises that the criminal and political shit is metaphysical and esoteric on its own. It's just like MMORPGs people play, kingdoms using magic to retain power. A person who finds himself at the deep end without anything to deserve it has an opportunity to survey and what he would find places where crime, the esoteric, politics and metaphysics meet. There are reasons why places like de-addiction centres and mental asylums are disagreeable to most people. I once wanted to be a psychiatrist and so when the opportunity of surveying the abyss presented itself to me, I first checked whether I have any options or not and when I realised that I don't have any options I decided to dive head first, sort of bungee jumping, in the abyss. I have misconceptions in my life, like one has to have charisma to commit atrocities to people like Hitler had. Hitler, whatever one says about him, was an idealistic man. He had idealism and he was a nationalist. The country we live in, if it exists at all except on paper, from what I observed seems to be ruled by individuals who sell their mothers. It's shocking as well as unfortunate. Esoteric systems are interesting things but they lose their appeal to me when their end goals are found to be power, sex and money. Truth is, criminals except the ones who function on ideals, the ones who are forced on the path of crime or the ones who are framed are at the esoteric level, demons. They can't be rehabilitated. These kind of individuals are criminals by law and demons at a spiritual level and have developed particular survival mechanism which can be analogous to the animal kingdom, like designing a detailed conspiracy to frame people like a spider makes a web to catch its prey, change colour to save their lives like a chameleon does and latch themselves to a host and drain his life force and resources until he or she dies, there can be numerous other examples. I have been exposed shit and I have seen the parasites going for the weakest point of a person has like one's children and unfortunately these kind of individuals are the real administration of this country, yep it sounds unbelievable but it is actually the case, if this country is autonomous and is not just on paper otherwise it's a cultural machine based global feudal-corporate setup. It's funny because I was a physician and I did not need to know all this. Abyss came to me to be surveyed and I did it. The truth is that this country, its civilization and it's indigenous religion has completely collapsed from within. What exists is a metaphysical stratification that is enforced by biopolitical means while keeping pretence of law and due process where there isn't any. Things aren't that bad people would say, while the truth is that they are it's just that people feel how bad things are individually and sporadically. The best part is you can imagine the worst and most inferior kind of scum and he would privy to private lives of people and their personal and family history and if not they can be acquainted to them. Suffices to say the concepts of family heritage and family legacies end here. Here is the most probable concept of this country as I have seen it, in the same country there are people who live like an upper class USA, with Mexico like cartels controlling stuff, while a majority lives like sub-saharan Africa. It's a bad case of state capture and possibly unannounced colonisation by global hegemons facilitated by comprador elite of this country while majority of people suffer the baseless dogma of religion which fails even to give them respite, bad governance and infrastructure and random predation and persecution which hits them like an act of God or fate. 

Transaction Complete

You think you would write about general things, about your interests and hobbies, about pop culture, literature and philosophy but writing tends to get personalised, the "I" comes in sometime or the other especially when pop culture, literature and philosophy are decimated along with science and culture or are made to be unequally distributed so that talking about these things to people around you becomes a privilege. I'm not an "I" kind of guy, I neither want nor like to be present in my own writings but we are living in times where any art or "content" as it is called requires an identity confirmation and it got confirmed to me in the past decade that in this country and probably in the greater world, the real identity card, or the real Aadhaar card is our DNA and our family background and it is through these a single person can be singled out from the crowd and made an example of, or can be made to go through a humiliation ritual and the worst part about it is that the person need not to be morally, ethically or legally wrong, he just need to be at a wrong place at a wrong time and get in the eyes of the entitled whimsy that runs this nation which also, technically speaking, is entitled incompetence so much that it in combination of uncontrolled base instincts of those in power has taken the form of predation as it is, in the presence of absolute control and absolute edge in power dynamic, easier than a proper logic based dealing with people. Do whatever you want to do with people and that shall be the law and then victim blame the people for the ruin inflicted on them and kill them with the last thought being in their head that whatever monstrous thing that happened with them was their own fault. The machine keeps running and people keep taking the baits that are hanging in front of them and keep getting punished for taking the bait. It doesn't matter if you don't take the bait too, the designs are prepackaged, they are presets and can be applied on anyone irrespective of whether they are guilty or not, you get into the humiliation ritual program because someone didn't like the nose on your face and he or she will activate the program and you would experience the humiliation ritual as authentically as someone who is guilty would. We have criminals playing judge here in fact they are not just playing judge, they are the real judges while the real actual judges are just mannequins and props. We live in the times of content, and every content that is made should have the identity of the person, identifiable identity, like when you make a shortform video your face, or when "I" write the circumstances of my life and what made me or what is modifying me into the next phase of my life. It's like all of us are on Only Fans, and those who know the obscured truth of existence know that they actually are but as far as cyber existence goes, the only difference between an OnlyFan model and common people is that they are selling views of their private parts and others are selling some other private things and in quite a few cases even their souls. Intimacy is a long shot in this arrangement because the very basis of existence has become transactional. I have to talk about "my" experiences which I used to talk about anyway in the blogosphere of late 2000s and early 2010s but then at that time sharing still existed, now just transactions exist and people who share in this economy are the biggest fools even if they share without any hope of return because they would be exploited until they have shared all the flesh on their body.

7-08-26

Little things matter, but they do not matter as much as one thinks they do. Higher purpose matters but not in the world we live in. What actually matters? Basics. And for other things that actually matter, one has to ask themselves and ensure it is them and only them who are answering. Sociopolitical existence is like fighting a pig, that too a pig that is spawn of Satan. The pig will first drag you in the muck and then try to beat you in your own game because it knows all about your game. One moment you are in your own made up wonderland and the next moment you are in the muck and you look around and there is nothing except muck and then you find yourself getting beaten in a game that you thought was your own. Anyone who has ever felt the walls closing in on them know the feeling, the only difference is someone has to commit a sin or crime for the walls close in on them and others, the unfortunate ones, just have to exist for the walls to close in on them. The walls can close in so much that it gets difficult to breathe. Little things don't matter that much but they do matter, and in the world we live in they matter more than the higher purpose. Like peeing after holding the pee for long, like sitting in the quilt and drinking tea with the family in winters, like chai and pakoras on a rainy holiday. Little things matter more than most things, in fact they matter the most but in the bigger picture they don't matter as much one thinks they do because there is a background to our lives, a background that is obscured from our view, and yet life itself is composed of little things and little moments. Higher purpose, when the background that is obscured from our view is considered doesn't matter but everyone should have a higher purpose, the most common one, mastery in their art or calling. We are all slaves to the obscured reality, and the God that we grew up believing in seems to be just in our faith and nowhere else. It seems that the God that is in our faith and the God that gave spiders the power to make webs, a venus flytrap the ability to catch a fly, a whale the thick milk to breastfeed their young ones in the vast ocean are different. It makes no difference until one knows who they are, what are there strength and weaknesses and know their ethical framework and value system. Pigs rely on exploiting people's ethical framework and value system, they rely on weaponising people's conscience against them. The true enlightenment arrives when one realises that little things matter, higher purpose matters. And that they don't matter too but only because the background that is obscured from our view is composed solely of muck.