Rockstar..

He stands with his guitar, the crowd screaming in front of him. He knows that they love him. But do they love him for the person he is? He has felt so lonely in life. After the divorce of parents growing up is not that simple. Difficulties he faced turned him to music. Music was his life. It was. When he plays music, it gives him relief, relief from his loneliness but now it does not give him satisfaction as before.

He has never been able to make a lasting relationship with anyone. He does not know why. So many people to love you and still you feel lonely. You have everything one can desire for but still you are not satisfied.

He had never experienced mental peace until he met Raza. He met him just 3 months ago and since Raza has become a part of his life. He connects with Raza. He is like a brother to him. Raza is his friend, philosopher and guide. Raza showed him the way to satisfaction. Raza made him God-fearing. Raza made him quit drugs and alcohol. Raza showed him the path of truth. Raza showed him the path of God.

The crowd is roaring. He starts singing. The crowd goes crazy. He sings and the crowd repeats. He loves the feeling of being on the stage. He signals the drummer to change the beat. His fingers are dancing on the fretboard of guitar. He is almost in a trance. He can feel the coolness of his sweat. His long hair has fallen over his face. The crowd is mad and screaming. All hands are up in the air. He looks at them. They love him. he loves them too. But they don't love him for the person he is, Raza does. He smiles. He has to sacrifice them for the cause of God, he has to rest in peace forever in the heaven, he will never be unsatisfied again. He closes his eyes and presses the button on the guitar.

Lectures and Notes....

Don't give me a lecture mom! Yes, we can say this to our mom but we can't say this to our professors. You sit in the class listening to the teacher. It goes on well for a few days but you don't revise what is taught and then the other lectures of the same topic go above your head. You try to listen properly, stare at the presentation, look at the black board but it all goes above your head like a Sukhoi. Now the new topic begins and the same thing repeats. Dude/Gal no one can help you. No one helped me too.

There are some intelligent/diligent students in class who make proper notes from the lectures. They know what is important and what should be noted down. They make point-wise notes which helps them revise in exam.

There are some super-human personalities also present in the classroom who note down each and every word of the teacher. Even if the teacher coughs or burps they will try to note it down. These kind of people get paper and ink free of cost ( i guess) and end up writing more then what is given even in their textbooks. When the exam comes they easily manage to finish one chapter out of ten chapters of the syllabus and confidently go to the examination to show that they will be camping in the same class.

Practically speaking we can't pay attention on lectures everytime (if you are not intellligent/dilligent one of your class) and can't write up everything (if you are not a superhuman moron).

Just imagine a mid-topic lecture in the after-noon just after the lunch. Your whole body weight has concentrated on your eyelids. You can only hear the sweet sound of the moving fan. The voice of the lecturer sounds like a lullaby. You can't make notes like this. So for you people some easy tips:

1. Don't make notes : Its a waste of time. You can listen to the teacher properly in the time you try to write. For notes you can:

A) Make the girl who writes the best notes in your class, your friend.
B) Ask old notes from seniors. Carefully choose the senior you are lending notes from, he shouldn't be a jerk like you.

You can try and write the most emphasized points while listening the lectures, that's not at all bad.

2. Read directly from book : Some people don't like their own hand writing so if you are one of those and even if you are not one of those, try and read directly from the book because in the end they can ask anything for exams.

If you are a super-jerk then i need not explain these tricks to you. I know you have devised your own tricks. Dude/(no gal this time) your attendance is gonna screw you. Attend the lectures for God's sake.

The Hostel

Most of us at first live in hostels when we go to college. Let's see few must haves for a college hostel.

1. A resident (evil) warden : This is a person (male or female) who is bent on making your hostel life a living hell. He/She has received  his training from Hitler and is constantly searching reasons to screw you.

2. Totally non-edible food : This is another speciality of college hostels. Chapatis like papad, sometimes in various colours like black brown, grey etc.Paneer is such that you can use it as an eraser. And yes these are on special days (obviously you get paneer 2 or 3 days in a week only). The normal food(on non special days) tests your ability to taste.

3.Chowkidar(the watchman) : This guy is a real asshole if you ain't good to him. You need to keep his pockets warm or at least be sugar sweet to him otherwise he will burn your ass out. He is the one who always knows at which time you went out of the hostel, when you returned and all other crap, so just keep him in good terms.

 4. Assholes : these are special creatures found almost in every hostel. These are of various types:

a) Informant assholes : These are the spoons of a big bowl called warden. You gotta beware of this kinda assholes because they can rip your own apart by transferring the valuable info like what you said about warden or teachers.
b) Simple assholes : They don't do anything much but you don't like them. You just hate them for no reason ie. you simply hate them. That's why they are known as simple assholes.
c) Shitting assholes : Now they are real problem, whenever you are getting late for college and you have to get ready, they are already in the bathroom. When ever you feel you can't hold your defeacation reflex, they are already in. They always keep shitting or bathing and mostly when it is extremely urgent for you.

5. Naukrani (the maid) : Mostly female(well maid is always female by the way) this person does all the things like cleaning the corridors, the shitpot and all other things which you don't even know being done. She is generally harmless until you keep locking your door.

I can look good too..

You always say that I am ugly,
I am ugly because God has made me like this.

I know he looks better than me,
But they say beauty lies in the eyes of beholder.

I can look good too,
If only you can see me that way.

I can be as handsome as I am to my mother,
If only you want to see me handsome.

I can look good too if I can afford those fancy cloths that he wears,
But what difference it would make, bitch.

I could look good too,
If only I can act what I am not.

I know what makes a man handsome in your eyes,
It's the colour of green.

One day I'll have greens all over me and not to mention in my pocket too,
and I know that day I will be handsome to you.

I told you na,
I can look good too.

Delhi Trip

Well this time on 19th January I had a trip to Delhi with PK and Rahul. I really love these guys as they are the best guys in meerut(at least). Not to forget Jatin my class mate of 11th and 12th standard and my friend, me and Jatin were an inseparable entity in 11th and 12th. We went to the same tutions and many such memories. Pratyaksh Kaushik(aka pk) is the most coolest guy you can ever meet, friendship with him was a life saviour in 12th. I came to know Rahul via Pk and since then we all are together.

Well I know I drifted apart from the topic so lets get back to it. We had planned to go to Delhi last year and since then the plan was being postponed. Now this time Pk was really very serious about that. Jatin on the other hand couldn't come with us because of his cold.

Frankly speaking I rarely enjoy trips. That may be blamed to my anxiety disorder. Though I am working hard to get rid of my panic attacks and lead a normal life and being a medico I am aware the steps that has to be taken. But the thing with this trip was that it was with Pk and Rahul. We had the plan to meet Almas and Arjun who are atudying animation and Delhi. Pk and Almas were inseperable in 12th just like Jakyll and Hyde, Shaktiman and Gangadhar, Clark Kent and Superman. So many amazing memories I can recall that I may post sometime. Now Arjun and Almas means the contrast between them is just like Timon and Pumba(no offences). I love those guys. I would have been still more lonely if they wouldn't have been there in 12th.

So I was late again, because of me we started at 2 o clock. We took the favourite Modipuram to Begumpul auto and reached Begumpul and then we took an auto again to dilli adda. At the bus stand we boarded the bus to ISBT. On reaching ISBT we decided to go to CP. I mean CP is cool when you are with a bunch of guys. 3 guys won't do much so without a plan we just went to CP and roamed. Then we boarded the Metro to Sarita Vihar. On reaching Sarita Vihar we were greeted by Almas who just like an Imp(what he is!) jumped and grabbed us. Arjun Was having a fag at the coner shop. I saw him and then I shared my kreteks with him. We decided directly to go for dinner. We went to resto-shop kinda thing and had nice food.

Pk was literally at its best those times. He was making us roll out of laughter. Pk is coolest. We came back to the room. At night around 10 we decide that we have to go to GIP(Great India Palace) in noida. We all started. We took an auto to GIP. I mean they were almost 7 people in that little autorikshaw if we consider Arjun as two. Anyways we squeezed in and then reached GIP. That was a really good mall I must say. Pk had plans to go to the disc but obviously we did not had girls so that plan was canceled. We decided to watch The Green Hornet in 3D in the big cinemas. I took the ticket and we all went for the movie. 3D movie was cool but the movie alone was shit. We came out and fooled around a bit. Then at around 2:30 in the night we went to the coffee shop of GIP  and had a cup of coffee. The coffee tasted so great and then there was this chocolate pastry.

Now we decided to go back and I don't know who the hell thinks of walking from GIP to Sarita Vihar at 3 am. But we did that. We walked all the way talking about the 12th days and laughing.

On reaching they had decided to stay awake but I gave up and drifted in deep sleep.

Next day obviously we had to leave.  We came back to Kendriya Sachivalaya in metro and then to the ISBT again. On the way back me and rahul talked to each other and listened to music while Pk snored in front of us.

Well these holidays were not wasted I must say.

Speed

It feels so good. Damn! It really feels so good. I mean its amazing! The air brushing through my hair. The cool breeze blowing all over my body. I love this feeling. I love the sound of the engine, it sends me into trance. Vroom...Vroom..Vroom..! Can you hear it? Ah! Its ecstasy. I am a speed junkie, you may say that! Speed is my drugs. I just settle for nothing less than full throttle. Sit on the machine, kickstart it, shift the gears, gently leaving the clutch, squeeze the throttle and fly like a bird.

I love my machine. She is beautiful. She is my baby. Its the 250cc Bajaj Pulsar. My girlfriend left, I mean girlfriends always leave you, don't they? But she will never leave me, she can't. She is super hot. When I ride her I feel at the top of the world.

I am again going to take a ride. I sit on my bike. Click! Vroom! Oh yes! that's what I was talking about. I take a deep breath in. It's so chilly but I don't know why I am sweating. I hear some one calling me. I stop suddenly.

The dream is over. I am lying on the bed of a gray room. I can see children playing outside in the park. They are playing football. I used to love football once but now I hate it. I see my legs, anatomically if we say I am having no legs because they call the portion below the knee as legs. I know the reality, now I am what they call a basket-case. My baby also left me, leaving me alone. There is always a price you pay for speed.

Life in this gray room is slow, its damn slow for a guy like me. My machine was my girlfriend but now I've got a wheelchair for my wife. I want speed. I close my eyes. I see her, the slick black beauty waiting for me to ride on her. I get on her and pull the throttle, 'Vroom!'. 

होमवर्क

आज फिर उसने होमवर्क नहीं किया. पीछे कि बेंच पर बैठ कर वो अपनी नाक कि  मैल के गोले बना रहा था. मास्टर जी पहली बेंच से सबका होमवर्क देखते आ रहे थे. निशांत का एक सवाल गलत होने पर उसको मार पड़ी. सुखदेव ने दो सवाल नहीं किये थे उसको मास्टर जी ने बहुत मारा. कभी कभी वो सोचता है कि  गणित का अध्यापक होने के बाद भी मास्टर जी को हिसाब नहीं आता. निशांत का एक सवाल गलत होने पर उसको दो थप्पड़ और नीरू के चार सवाल गलत होने पर भी उसको एक थप्पड़. दुसरो को गणित सिखाते हैं मास्टरजी, उनकी खुद कि ही गणित इतनी कमजोर है.

मास्टरजी एक पगलाए सांड कि तरह बढे आ रहे थे. हर बेंच पर बैठे बच्चे को प्रसाद मिल रहा था. उसने तो एक भी सवाल नहीं किया था पाता नहीं उसकी हालत क्या होने वाली थी. उसने अपनी बहती नाक अपनी शर्ट में पोंछी और मास्टर जी को देखता रहा. उसकी दिल कि धड़कने तेज़ होने लगी थी. आखिरकार मास्टरजी उसके पास आ ही गए. 'जीवन होमवर्क दिखाओ!'  मास्टरजी ने कहा. उसने अपनी कॉपी मास्टरजी के हाथ में देदी. मास्टर जी कॉपी ले कर पन्ने पलटने लगे. उसकी टाँगे कांपने लगी थी. 'होमवर्क कहाँ है?' मास्टरजी ने  गुर्राते हुए पूछा. उससे जवाब न देते बना, उसका गला सूख चूका था, बोलने के प्रयत्न में उसने अपना थूक निगला. तड़ाक! मास्टरजी का झन्नाटेदार थप्पड़ उसके गालों पर लगा. 'जब पढना नहीं है तो स्कूल क्यों आता है बे?' मास्टरजी ने एक और तमाचा रसीद किया.  'घर पर क्या करता है?  सारा समय हरमजदगी में जाता होगा. आज घर पर आता हूँ तेरे. आज बताता हूँ तेरी माँ को कि उनका लाडला क्या गुल खिला रहा है.'
'माँ तो मर गयी!' हकलाते हुए उसने बोला. मास्टरजी अवाक रह गए. 'कब?', धीरे से उन्होंने पूछा. 'कल रात' उसने गाल पकडे हुए जवाब दिया. मास्टर जी ने उसके सर पे हाथ फिराया और आगे बढ़ गए.

उसे पता था कि कल जब उसका झूठ पकड़ा जाएगा तो दोगुनी धुलाई होगी. उसने आँखें बंद कि और भगवान् से प्रार्थना करने लगा कि कल कभी न आये.

farmer's analogy..

The bright sun is shining,
The dog is barking.
The leech is sucking the blood of farmer.
He does not want to remove it,
Does not,
Never,
leech is better than the government.
He sighs and allows it to suck,
At least he can kill it whenever he wants;
Better than the government indeed.