Coffee

Life has two kinds of people, one, the ones who do hardwork to get by, and others who snatch and seize what others have. More often than not it is the second kind which ends up having power. The first kind believes in law, morality, ethics and conventions and consequently traditions and the second kind depends on instrumentalism, using it as a strategic instrument to gain more wealth and and power and cement consolidation. The second kind's whole game is based on ignorance, innocence and population of the first kind. The first kind until and unless they have had experiences and they have learned from them can't believe that someone can manipulate the law, ethics, morality, conventions and this ignorance becomes the root cause of their exploitation. When the second kind has established power firmly, when they have consolidated it and the power dynamic has become absolute, irreversible and non-negotiable it is when the game of impunity starts. Habitual impunity is like a drug. Being in power means you can't be punished and that leads to impunity, but like a drug impunity demands a bigger dose everytime to release the chemicals that it releases, mostly the pleasure felt from the suffering of others, sadism or schadenfreude, and it when the second kind starts being creative with sadistic games, it's like experimenting with new drugs, which a common man thinks of as an act of God. The first kind, as I ended up realising, is exposed, he has no security and is at the mercy of the second kind which is way too deep in sadism, schadenfreude and megalomania to even understand the mind of those who believe in following ideals, laws and rules. Good people are exposed because power is predatory, and a good man or woman always has to think about saving their asses whereas predators' full focus is on finding an innocent person and playing sadistic games. Sadism is institutionalised in in this country and the idealism of post-independence is gone. When we talk about power it is better to think of the TV series The Game of Thrones as documentary. Power is almost exclusively seized through deception, conspiracies and brute force and so it always goes to scoundrels, and these scoundrels then employ more scoundrels through patronage and impunity as an incentive which includes rape. A good person who is an idealist, or who is diligent, who wants to do his work in the best way possible then becomes a target because there is inherent jealousy towards the good person in the scoundrels employed by the scoundrels. Law-abiding, diligent citizen is then just cattle which the scoundrels rear to achieve their goals which of course are more wealth and greater consolidation of power. Law in this kind of setting just becomes an expression of existential entrapment at the physical plane and an instrument of lawfare.

Ghee Khatam

I have occupied a liminal space in my life for quite long. I have seen the life at the margins. When I was younger Vice, the magazine and the documentary film maker, used to attract me. Vice has collapsed like all good things and probably might have shut down too. I on the other hand have had experience although at the metaphysical plane which I would say are quite Vice-like and so I report because actual reporters are busy doing sycophancy and since I have seen it I wouldn't blame them as the terror is existential on you and your family once you know enough about this nation and the way it operates. Though a lot of media in this is like Jack Gyllenhaal in Nightcrawler minus the charm of course. The best part about this nation is that even if you quietly get raped by, what I would call the base structure which as I realised in the past decade is all about rape and no it is not an understatement it's quite literal it just that it is not visible, there are no existential guarantees of survival. The inversion is absolute. Habitual, entitled and career rapists make decisions on morality and law in this country and it happens at the base itself. A career rapist whose primary "skill" is rape (if we can even call it that) and other skills are secondary would judge you on how many times you jack off in a day. Rape is a way of compensation to the enforcers of divide and rule. When I witnessed this thing, and this is a thing that you can only witness at a personal level and would sound batshit when you put it into words though I decided to go ahead with it anyway, I realised that all the knowledge of culture and civilization I had was redundant because when culture doesn't emanate form the base and the base is operated by feudal rape gangs it has no meaning. The incompetent feudal and capitalist (the assholes who have their heads in west's asshole) assholes completely destroyed my refined and intricate culture, last carriers of it being the grandfathers and grandmothers who have now passed away, and replaced it with a mongrel performative hyperreality. The suffering in the past decade for me has been intense but I'm glad that I had it because someone had to go down the rabbithole to fetch the truth. Because I have seen the bottom of abyss I am sure that this country has internally collpased and civilization doesn't really exist except as a hyperreality and that you can see in the "ghee khatam" boys and "chatpati" girls of Gen Z. I have already mourned and grieved and what remains for me is just personal.

Priori

Life is all about prioritising. When I was younger I used to believe in the higher purpose but in the past decade I ended up realising that there is no higher purpose and this is due to the invasive political arrangement of this country and since this invasive political arrangement can be in a third-world country that we live in it is safe to assume that it would be present in the rest of the world too and thus existence of a higher purpose is out of question because people's choices and opportunities are rigged. It is the same as meaning, meaning doesn't exist. But then no one stops you from believing in a higher purpose or giving meaning to your life, at least visibly. In the past decade meaning has been drained out of people's lives. I do not feel as deeply about my interests like literature and science anymore and it is not because of age. But one should keep a semblance of meaning in their life and an idea of what their higher purpose could have been. The bottom line truths are very basic and they are family and money in any order you choose. You gain and develop skills throughout your life and then use it to earn money. Important thing here is to never give up a genuine interest. You studied something you didn't want to study for earning money it's not a problem, keep studying and training in what you were genuinely interested in and I say this because one, studying something that you are genuinely interested in is not hard work and is a sort of recreation and two, it retains meaning in your life. One has to understand the arrangement that we live in. The tyranny is individualised. And this means while one person feels like he lives in a dictatorship where even his personal choices are dictated, other feels like he is in a liberal utopia and another gets to practice impune anarchy mostly at the expense of others. A lot of people especially in the hinterlands live in an unannounced slavery and shit gets serious when one realises that freedom as basic as being able to feel the natural breeze on the skin can be withheld and, as I have observed, for no actual reason except baseless hatred and whims. I was a grateful person in general, despite having nothing to be grateful about at a personal level, what I survived, what I achieved, is solely due to my choices if you get the drift of this statement. This is the whole game, making people thankful and grateful that things are not worse and when one thinks of it one realises that it is a sort of blackmail and I wouldn't have been writing about it if I hadn't come to know how local the origins of the fate and the providence that blackmails people is. It's just your local mafia, politician and godman. When this reality comes to the fore the new age spirituality of being grateful collpases. And it is here you must prioritise. You know what higher purpose you would have chosen so despite it being redundant in the political setting we live in one must acknowledge it, one must align oneself to what gives meaning to one's life. What I have learnt in the past decade is that you can't help people in this nation anymore, their fates are already sealed. The disease of the society that was latent in Congress administration is now for all to see. Because Congress or BJP were never the real administration.

Yavan

I hate mentioning myself in my writing, I primarily wanted to be a fiction writer which is now a far cry in this nation and probably always has been but since I have been in touch with literature, I know that books like Simoqin Prophesies were being written in this nation as late as 2004 and the last Ananya Tantrist book as late 2018, then there is a book like Asura's curse written as late as 2025. There is one thread in common that a lot of writers who write these books have one foot in a foreign nation. I like these genres of books but there aren't many books of these kinds and the political reality has changed so much that they'd stop to matter. My worry until I realised the background reality of this nation was comics, especially indigenous comics but that ship, I later realised, has sailed. I have identified with Kafka since my early youth but Kafka's reality no matter how much arbitrarily bureaucratic had a sort of dignity even though a lot of it might be him being a dignified person and this was more than 100 years ago. Like I said I hate mentioning myself in my writings because I primarily wanted to be a fiction writer, write about science fiction, mystery, mythofiction fantasy and adventure but back in the day when Virgin Comics was still alive, Shekhar Kapur still made comics characters, when Indian comics was going through a narrative shift I didn't know that feudalism will be back. The truth is that feudalism had never left it's in the late 2000s these motherfuckers decided to really go along with their plans, destroying family cultures and collecting dirt on everyone and making the country a panopticon. People can't pay for the treatment of their illness but they can be harvested for data. The best part of it all is no one can be blamed for it. When you think about blaming it on someone that entity doesn't even exist. The entity that exists is the government but then can it really be blamed is the question. The approach that I have seen is sabotaging your autonomy and using your own self and identity to sabotage you and your future. This is the way this country operates. The persecution is invisible and when you see the level of it you would wish that you would have been born in Iran or North Korea because Iran gives you the dignity of getting hanged on town square and North Korea gives you the dignity of the firing squad. Not giving people dignity is not really cool especially when the whole game you play is based on dharma and civilization. There is no dharma and no civilization what there is are seths, zamindars, politicians, bureaucrats, industrialists and godmen and mafia bosses having connnections to each other and not to mention their demonic bitches who are no less. While persecution is not a problem it's the invisibility of it and the most important part is that it hits you like fate and it can start in the childhood itself because these motherfuckers don't give a fuck which is an understandable thing when power is invisible and you have no skin in the game. The best part is unlike America you there aren't any markers for persecution like race except of course castes which is one the prominent markers in hellholes like Purvanchal, Bihar and Jharkhand and operated by their apexes like rape or grooming gangs. The arbitrariness is funny in the way that a hate crime can evolve into state persecution because some people would die if they are asked to but not if they are forced to.

Milton

I have been to the bowels of this country and I have learnt things. The primary thing that I realised that this country at its depth revels in stratification, inducing suffering and invalidating experiences and sometimes the whole lives of people. The base emotion is breaking legs of people and then ridiculing them for not being able to run the race of survival. I am pretty straightforward and mind my business person but the voyeuristic and predatory setup doesn't really allow a person to mind his own business. People's wills are broken so that they just become bodybags of their own lives. Everything is stratified engineering colleges, medical degrees, which I earlier found to be okay after all IITs are better than a Tier 3 college but then I realised, firstly that meritocracy is a scam, secondly if you are from a Tier 3 college you will be exploited your whole life for that and in such a way that it will hinder your actual job and thirdly the whole ontology and how things are done differs between strata and that means a person who has studied the same syllabus will act differently when he is in Tier 1 setup and if he is Tier 4 setup with high chances that a person operating with his skills in a Tier 4 person has his will broken if he is a good person and if he is not then he has turned predatory. The top cream in anything in this country is already selected and if it is selected from diffrent background than top cream then there is dirt collection on him so that he can be manipulated at will. There is nothing left to chance and real dedication and loyalty means nothing, dedication and loyalty are extracted through forced patronage and existential blackmail. The most mind boggling thing that I realised was that people are prevented from experiencing their own lives. The base of this country as I was able to see is rape, hypocrisy, jealousy and opportunism and when these things are the base, if they are true for one person they are true for all as it then becomes the bottom line and that means when the bubble of delusion pops it is this you are going to see. You have to choose your own skill that you want to master and become better at and it is better if there are more than one skill, one professional and at least one at the personal level. I have seen the amount of force used that I haven't seen being used even on terrorists and this is when I was a mind my own business and come home and read books and play videogames kind of a person. I got to become intimate with base of this nation and realised that it is essentially operated by individuals who are genocidal rapists and who employ genocidal rapists from the lower classes for manipulation of families and do social engineering. My deal is simple, I judge organisms by their ability to feel pain and their sentience and I realise people with depth, good people who believe in God are being manipulated by straight Pavlovian psychology. If you feel anxiety and humiliation going somewhere, you won't go there or if you feel better going somewhere even if it harms you you will go there, these are the simple principles on which this nation operates. Of course the world is complex, but this is the bottom line and it is at this bottom line all the complexity of the world simplifies. If someone doesn't like your face, and even if you do not know them, you can reach a place where there is no God, no government and no law. Just a boot of power crushing your face worn by individuals who if they hadn't been employed would have been pulling rickshaws or peddling drugs. It is here my sympathy for lower classes ended because I ended up realising that people can be brainwashed and conditioned into anything, even being a demon, an example would be of burning the whole world for having sex with someone. This is a real intent and individuals of different intents of this kinds trapped in hell are let loose on people who just want to live their own lives and people and their lives are manipulated by such kinds of individuals. It is a setup of only and only negative attention. It's essentially save your own ass kind of setup with genocidal rapists running amok and if you are not privileged the next can be you. This arrangement is cleverly hidden by propaganda and you would read Dainik Jagran and feel everything is fine but issue is that the propaganda is not being able to hold the peddled false reality in its place anymore because of the internet which was important for making new financial systems and panopticons and a ledger of people's lives and of course harvesting of data. 

Peacock

Not all genocides are active, some are passive and some are passively active. Bengal famine was a passively active genocide of people. There is a misconception that genocides don't happen now and especially in countries that appear stable. They do, it's just that they happen simultaneous to existence, cultural genocides, genocides of family and family cultures for the most part these genocides are passively active. You live for quite a while and then if you are intelligent you realise that in modern times we are not living in cultures but in a hyperreality. The baffling thing for me to realise was that while the privileged live in a global hyperreality, the unprivileged and especially from third world countries and backward regions of those countries who on the outlook seems to be living in a proper culture are also living in hyperrealities, albeit of a local or regional nature. Life even in a third world country and even in the backward regions of third world countries is not authentic. If we are talking India, past twenty years have seen the dismantling and collapse of highly refined local cultures into mongrel cultures easier to manage and shame. The process had been initiated long back it's just people who were born in the early 1900s were still alive and thus carried the cultural authenticity within them. What is culture if not alignment to love and nature, and if you are a 90s kid you know it existed back then and you have seen it deteriorating in real-time since then as the exploitation increased and older generation gradually died. It's not that exploitation and rape were not present earlier, it's just that culture too was present which has been dismantled. The past decade taught me, which I found quite unbelievable for some time, that those who hold power actually want to delete refinement and aesthetics from the local cultures, retaining them just as tokens to show when someone outside the culture comes and also weaponising local cultural expressions as objects of shame. The cultural genocide is complete by now, all that remains is a hierarchy at the top of which resides individuals with total disconnect to their cultures and roots in the name of cosmopolitanism and this cosmopolitanism requires them to desert their own culture in the name of modernity. Anyway the news is that highly refined local cultures of this land have collpased and what remains is a mongrel hyperreality and now we can all shove pizza slices in our assholes from the pointy side and become the national bird of this country.

Simplified

There are two approaches to life, simple and complex and it is not really easy to have a simple approach to life as life has a habit of complicating things. The most important thing then comes down to accepting consequences of one's choices which in itself is complex in collapsed socio-political realities because only a responsible man would accept consequences of one's choices and in collpased sociopolitical realities the most responsible person is blamed the most even for the the impunity and mindless actions of others and if you are aware of deeper realities of existence, one more unfortunate dimension arises, lack of autonomy of people over their selves and this arrangement is in place so that selected individuals can live their lives with impunity. In extremely optimised cases of persecution or exploitation people end up having zero percent autonomy, unless they salvage a little through their efforts, and more than hundred percent responsibility and accountability. Still, experience is the teacher and once one is experienced enough and has mapped the terrain of their existence, taking responsibility for one's actions becomes easier. Mindfulness and making one's decision and doing one's job with intention helps. Mindfulness when one is doing something, and mindfulness about the thoughts that are in mind are important in the current sociopolitical climate. A good person takes responsibility for their actions but we live in times when one's actions might not be necessarily theirs and so a good person ends up taking responsibilities of actions that are not even theirs. This is the downside of choosing goodness as a way of life. The concepts of Nietzsche's slave morality and master morality do not apply to a man who is truly good, being good is a way of life for him not because being good would take him anywhere but because he knows that proper flourishing of humankind depends on choosing good over evil. However the practical truth is that evil always wins, one, because it always uses opportunism, hypocrisy, deception and force and domination and use of these tools, which are not tools for the evil but deeply entrenched in them due to inherent weakness, means that they would have to continuously apply these tools and approaches for the lust of power and the lust of power translates to power over lives and bodies of people, right to rape people and wealth and resources. Power is not inherently corrupting, it's just that it attracts the already corrupt or those who are prone to corruption. A good man or woman must know how to simplify things. Hell and heaven doesn't matter to a man or woman who has lived on their principles. 

Homeostasis

You live for long enough and patterns of existence become visible. One sees people working on their MacBooks in Starbucks but if you are alive for long enough in India you know that there is no work important enough that requires disruption of coffee time, especially such an expensive coffee. But then importance is all in the mind and people work at places where environment is feasible enough for them to get ideas. A MGNREGA worker gets that environment from his own body, it's homeostasis when the sweat allows him to feel the blowing wind as air-conditioning. I have lived long enough to realise that God in this nation, or if not this nation at least where I am from, is an exploitative entity. I call this entity God because it practically is God and is omniscient and omnipotent and its omniscience and omnipotence falls just a little short of the kind I would imagine the God I used to believe in would possess. The work of this God, at least where I am from, is to make people dispossessed and then to exploit that dispossession. Preventing people from gathering knowledge, skill, experiences and competence and then punishing them for not having them. When people do not have knowledge, skill, experiences and competence what remains is opportunism and hypocrisy, because competence gained through valid means is humble and that has been the design of competence gained from valid means throughout the history. Competence gained through dedication, hardwork, struggle and suffering lasts and also makes a person humble. Hypocrisy treats itself as an exception it has no option but to do so because very often ones who are opportunists and hypocrites are also incompetent. As this country, or probably my region, presented itself to me in the 2010s, I realised that in this nation being able to earn a living honestly too is a privilege. When one looks at it, one imagines what kind of individuals would prevent people from gaining their work through honest hardwork? The answer is simple, those who don't know the taste of bread earned through honest hardwork, those who have lived on money earned from brokerage, debt collection, usury and extortion. A person who wants to earn his living through honest means has to jump in the muck of corruption and become a part of the system and so everyone in the system keeps silent because there is dirt on everyone and fear of their dirty laundry getting aired in public so the system keeps working consuming the innocent and hardworking making them bear the brunt of just wanting to exist while writing a make-believe screenplay or making an excel sheet on one's MacBook in an expensive coffee shop remains a very valid form of work, which it is, at least more than the work of making people dispossessed and exploiting that dispossession throughout their lives.

Lambu Atta

I think things remain fine as long as one is able to do their job and practice their art. The thing about the world we live in is that it can turn mediaeval any second. I think feudalism has made a full comeback as technofeudalism. The issue about the country we live in is stratification, along with microstratification. The actual truth of the world is that there are basically only two strata, the world above the glass ceiling and the world below it but the ones above the glass ceiling and the lackeys employed by them revel in microstratifying the world below the glass ceiling. The unfortunate part is that the world below the glass ceiling was already stratified and in a good way, based on natural laws and respect, where every person knew his job and introduction of modern governance was a beautiful things in the already beautiful social order because it gave an avenue of opportunity to any one from any strata from the older order according to their merit and talent, and that means son of a potter could become an IAS officer if he was talented enough. That was the dream at least. Then came the incompetents playing with the natural order seeking permanence in an impermanent world, placing the victims of their forced patronage in positions of power, putting industry plants, and people as props. While totally removing the opportunities of genuine social mobility and identification of actual talent and merit. Now son of a potter can't become an IAS officer unless he is an opportunist and knows the pull the ladder up after climbing. It took me a whole decade to realise that public welfare was never the goal and it baffled me when I realised that actual goal was dispossession of people and depriving their lives of aesthetics and happiness and keeping them in a permanent hustle mode. Indian middle class aesthetics that were present in the 90s have totally collapsed. Languages have been totally disarmed so that one can't name their exploitation. Gaslighting is a normally used technique in Indian sociopolitics and yet there is no Hindi word for it plus literary Hindi has been totally crushed so that middle class intellects are totally deprived of aesthetics. This is a level of incompetence that is rabid in nature. It's a cancer. Of jealousy and unending greed where people are deprived of basic dignity and when someone asks for dignity they are accused of being a communist. For the record, my personal politico-economic leaning is ethical capitalism and social democracy. Though the incompetent rabid retards can't make out the difference in asking for dignity and rebellion. We lives in times where an engineer doesn't feel like an engineer, a doctor doesn't feel like a doctor though this is just a symptom of being ruled by illiterate rapists.

Boba

Most people can't get to the place where they end up knowing the real meaning of freedom or whether they are actually free or not. As my personal realisations go, I ended up realising that the freedom and possibility of freedom have been permanently foreclosed. People had as much fun they could have in the 90s and those who failed to have fun even in the 90s can only depend on delusions to have fun. I am grateful that the reality presented it to me the way it presented it to me because any other way I would have been tripping on spirituality and theology and would have failed to see the real nature of the world and this country. The real nature of this country and what it rules it is of a rapist who sees your sexual curiousity and desire to be intimate with a person of your choice as a reason to rape you, because these very thing in its eyes demand to be disciplined, demand rape, demand shaming when it is just the sexual urges, animalistic drives, the desire for domination and humiliation of the person in front transforming into act of enforcing discipline. Things have essence, so does emotions, so do actions and so does phenomena. When the base of the emotion is domination and humiliation of others the resulting emotion, action or phenomenon will carry its essence and this very thing is the reason for deterioration of this nation. I have seen despotic tyranny personally, and the bad news is that it can be personalised, customised for a person for what rules this nation like Dr. Evil in Austin Powers creates its mini-mes. Imagine a rickshawala pulled from the streets and transformed into the American interpretation of Hitler. Efficiency in exploitation doesn't require skill if you have the tools to deliver fear. Whole countries can function on variations of desire, lust and fear and I end up seeing they actually do. All discussions end when the core of something itself is rape. All of this seems far-fetched for people who are in bubbles of their delusions but the bad news is that once the bubble pops and reality seeps in the place where the bubble was the absolute bottom line of this nation would become visible and for a person like me, bottom lines matter the most.

Wolf's Bane

I ended up realising that most important thing in life is not wasting any time intentionally and with that comes doing your best with whatever capacity you have at the time. The good thing about this is that if you do this you do not have any regrets in your life. The problem of the world we live in is that criminals are free to do whatever with themselves and others but a good man has to be correct at all times and if he is not the consequences for it are severe so it is important to do what one thinks is right at all times again so there are no regrets. I have had an extremely hard life, which wouldn't have been an issue if I didn't have any resources but I had and yet I had an extremely hard life which is in some ways worse than having a hard life with lack of resources. It's like having a buffet spread in front of you with your lips sewn shut and you see the buffet in front of you rotting. Destiny, or should I say the politics of the world, is cruel like that. I was a fan of pop culture like comics and cartoons when I was a kid. Turns out I had to pay for every comics that I read, every cartoon I watched, every cable television show I watched and every computer game and book I had read and again despite paying for them when I originally consumed them. It told me about transactional nature of our existence and how existence itself can be turned into exploitation. I started torrenting books, games and movies when I was in college. Torrenting was a popular method and arguably only method to access media back then. And I had to pay for that too. I had to pay for both the media of my childhood and college with suffering and it is then I realised that what is God is not actually God. It is something that exploits. The best part is that I hadn't done anything to be exploited and it is later I realised that one doesn't have to. My fault was that I was aware enough to notice when I am getting exploited and that is a reason enough to get exploited again. Awareness is dangerous but it also gives perspective. I started writing only when I realised that those who will not be exploited won't be in any case and those who will get exploited will get anyways and so I decided to write to bring awareness. The exploitation needs reason and when one becomes aware, identity is retrofitted on the exploitation and then it becomes persecution and the identity becomes the main component. I do not regret even one thing in my life except lazyness in doing homework in my childhood. Wherever and whenever I went off the rails I did because I thought it is a safe place to go off the rails, plus I haven't ever really thought ill of anyone in my life. Truth is there isn't a safe place or, as liberals call it, safe space in this world. Safe space is an illusion, the idea of safe space is a myth. I have seen the process of snowballing, how things get escalated. The thing to know about escalation is that only those escalate who can handle it either this or those who do not bother about the consequences of the escalation. When every pop culture and media you have ever consumed can be made to be a reason for discrimination, can be exploited back, can be made you to pay again and in suffering with infinite interest or is made to be a favour that was given out of kindness when you have paid for it with your own money, you realise that the entity you are dealing with is petty and inferior and you realise that only two recreations are the nature and the universe through the night sky. A good has to be right at all times, and that's the bane of choosing goodness. But what a good man can do is not waste any time and doing the best in his capacity and when the good man gets tired he could confide in little joys of life.

7-08-26

Little things matter, but they do not matter as much as one thinks they do. Higher purpose matters but not in the world we live in. What actually matters? Basics. And for other things that actually matter, one has to ask themselves and ensure it is them and only them who are answering. Sociopolitical existence is like fighting a pig, that too a pig that is spawn of Satan. The pig will first drag you in the muck and then try to beat you in your own game because it knows all about your game. One moment you are in your own made up wonderland and the next moment you are in the muck and you look around and there is nothing except muck and then you find yourself getting beaten in a game that you thought was your own. Anyone who has ever felt the walls closing in on them know the feeling, the only difference is someone has to commit a sin or crime for the walls close in on them and others, the unfortunate ones, just have to exist for the walls to close in on them. The walls can close in so much that it gets difficult to breathe. Little things don't matter that much but they do matter, and in the world we live in they matter more than the higher purpose. Like peeing after holding the pee for long, like sitting in the quilt and drinking tea with the family in winters, like chai and pakoras on a rainy holiday. Little things matter more than most things, in fact they matter the most but in the bigger picture they don't matter as much one thinks they do because there is a background to our lives, a background that is obscured from our view, and yet life itself is composed of little things and little moments. Higher purpose, when the background that is obscured from our view is considered doesn't matter but everyone should have a higher purpose, the most common one, mastery in their art or calling. We are all slaves to the obscured reality, and the God that we grew up believing in seems to be just in our faith and nowhere else. It seems that the God that is in our faith and the God that gave spiders the power to make webs, a venus flytrap the ability to catch a fly, a whale the thick milk to breastfeed their young ones in the vast ocean are different. It makes no difference until one knows who they are, what are there strength and weaknesses and know their ethical framework and value system. Pigs rely on exploiting people's ethical framework and value system, they rely on weaponising people's conscience against them. The true enlightenment arrives when one realises that little things matter, higher purpose matters. And that they don't matter too but only because the background that is obscured from our view is composed solely of muck.

Diet Choke

I write a lot of psychosocial stuff because my experiences have been psychosocial. I have had some baffling realisations as I matured but nothing that I couldn't process. It is this processed data that becomes the fodder for my writing. I ended up simplifying my life and it is money, family, work and academics, knowledge, interests and hobbies. Then there are nature and the universe through the night sky. Social life in India is basically like that bird building a nest which the monkeys destroy once they see the bird cozy during the monsoon while they were getting wet in the rain. I realise that this is the simplest example of how society operates in this country at depth. This country is a low trust society for a reason and those who have seen the 90s know that it was not. One of the basic issues in this country is people taking pride and being entitled in things that they have no hand in like being born in a particular caste or a rich family. The country showed its colours to me and I ended up retrospecting and realised how things like caste entitlement work. What people don't know is that your caste might not be in your subconscious or unconscious but it definitely flows in your nerves because caste is a psychosocial concept. The past decade taught me that what were considered social evils, like casteism, misogyny, rape, discrimination, superstition and other social evils are propagated from the base reality of this country and that means while the government brings policies to fight them what runs the government in the depth actively fortifies and propagates these social evils. This realisation made me absolutely free as a person as I realised that future is going to be a state of totalitarian slavery in a surveillance state full of hatred, divisiveness and discrimination for the majority as a minority enjoys absolute heaven on earth. This is the arrangement even today but the grip is going to be even more tighter in the future and slow and peaceful life for the majority would become a distant dream, even the basic necessities and civil amenities and provisions will require bootlicking of totally undeserving individuals who hold their position either due to nepotism, patronage or cronyism. For the lower class this future is now but as middle class is totally dismantled as the process has been since the early 2010s, with middle class literature and their access to middle class media like magazines, ghazals, kavi sammelans is destroyed in the name of modernity and language is gradually disarmed of the capacity of naming techniques used in exploitation the middle class again would become as dispossessed as the lower class. This is nothing but a combination of neofeudalism and extractive surveillance capitalism in which data is the new resource. In short the middle class who are not selected as official slaves of the rulers will be as dispossessed as the lower class with their cultural capital drained and destroyed. I personally have no hopes from this country because in the past decade I have seen the true nature of what actually rules this country and it is entitlement, incompetence, rapaciousness and undeserved capriciousness. Unfortunately what rules this country is also extremely cowardly so high chances are there that this country would end up becoming a colony of global hegemons without announcing it. What remains in this setting is to modulate one's own psychosocial reality and to take one day at a time and have fun. 

4-08-26

It's a lot about the mindset you carry at a particular point of time. I wouldn't call myself more of a mindset guy as I find myself more of an essence guy but life teaches you and I ended up realising that mindset and approach matter a lot. In my youth I had a sentimental sort of artistic-poetic bent towards life which I still retain as module after all the practicality that life has thrown at me making me more pragmatic and overriding my idealistic bent though I still retain idealism as a base state. Early youth I used to wallow in my suffering and that is not underplaying my suffering it was enough to make a grown man off himself but True Detective Season 1 style wallowing in and philosophising one's suffering does little in a setting which is predatory except getting you under the crosshair of predation. Two things must be remembered at all times and they are essential to know, one, that happiness is the base state of a human being and sadness and depression is sociopolitical in nature and two, one must always think positive while knowing that majority of people are in an assembly line of extractive exploitation where they would be extracted and discarded while the whole blame for their suffering would be put on them when it is not the case. So, one must intentionally choose to be happy no matter how much is the sadness or depression, of course it is hard but happiness is a choice, and one must always thing positive especially when they get a lot of negative thoughts. Consciously thought positive thoughts neutralise the unconsciously appearing negative thoughts. Life, especially the socio-politico-economic reality, is mostly about mindset, approach and choices one makes. Also, those who have been thoroughly acquainted with the reality of the world know that there is not even a speck of God present in the world yet they must know that your God is as real as your faith and as strong as your faith and He or She empowers you if your truly have faith in Him or Her. The sociopolitical reality we live in is all about money and contacts and that means money and relationships and if you don't have both that means you are a target for predation because you don't have the social immunity. Things are actually this simple. You have to, at all times, be clear about your intent. We live in times when others  stories about you can override the truth you know about yourself and so much that you would end up believing the stories others tell about you about yourself than believing in your own truth. Social reality is like deep sea, at surface it looks all calm and serene but in the depth there are predators waiting for people who have no social or financial immunity to make them their prey for reasons no other than sadistic pleasure and in this regard everyone in this country who is not well connected to what actually runs the society is dispossessed and a spiritual orphan. Once one realises that societies are evolved so much that at their base they run on an evolved emotion like hatred things get easier but this hatred is than coupled with base pleasures and instincts and evolved predatory pleasures like sadism and schadenfreude and you get societies which act pious and cultured but their actual engine is hatred, sadism and schadenfreude. Once one becomes aware of the basic truths of society and has enough knowledge of their own self navigating social realities becomes easier though it comes at the cost of naivety and innocence. The whole game is about perspective and perception and one should always a perspective that is true to themselves and a perception that is positive, not because society is good but for the sake of their own mental and physical health. One can't change their essence but one can change their approach and they can work on their mindset. We live in times where wallowing in one's own misery too is a luxury.

31-07-26

Let me see, what do I have to write? I like old school internet. The internet where people were present to connect to each other, to make friends, to discuss ideas and their interests. That internet is long gone. All that is now is weaponised information and information warfare where you have to have edge in information than the person in front of you. I ended up seeing a whole new face of the internet and I was young and naive and did not know that the internet in the world we live in can be connected to one's destiny. Here was a guy discussing science, literature and pop culture and who thought this is what the internet is for. For discussions, for discussing hobbies and interests when in truth the internet was divided into two factions one, people escaping the real world because real was was either unbearable for them or too boring and the other, predators and unfortunately also the kind of predators who write destinies of people. There was no pop culture to be discussed only histories to be made a history that no one would know about. The third faction which was an intersection of the two factions was of the narcissists, the escapist narcissists and the predatory narcissists and there were some looking to find greatness, chasing greatness through a technology that gave them visibility by emulating greats but that's what schools teach isn't it? Emulating the greatest? As the built narrative collapses under the weight of available information and tyranny one is left wondering who in fact was great in history? As the greats are outed as predators, opportunists, pedophiles and industry plants there is no greatness left to emulate, just peace to be found. Old school internet as one realises only existed for the lucky, the same old school internet that made kids roleplay Harry Potter characters got they preyed upon by predators and the most unfortunate of them found a link between being a prey and their destiny. Internet too is a reflection of the world, and earlier the escapists escaped into this new democratic world where anything could be said without consequences and so followed the predators into this new world full of preys and now even saying things on the internet has consequences and a lot of times worse than saying things, like they say, IRL. Some learnt this lesson too early, and life came a full circle when they realised that internet too, now, is real life. It's all IRL. It's just an extension of the real life, it's not a simulation where you can have a hacker alias and be Neo and now your handle, your gamertag your social media profiles need to be connected to your government ID which sounds bad until you gain real actual political enlightenment that it's all a game of predator and prey, the life itself. There are no friends to connect to, to discuss pop culture, philosophy, science and literature and probably there never were.

Investment

It's about investing your money at the right place. Like this platform which gives me a permanent domain and tries to keep the old internet alive in its own little way. Shut up and take my money, I would say. Good places to invest money? Food, clothing, shelter and by this I mean experimenting with new food, getting comfortable clothing that express your personal style and a home of your own decorated with your personal preferences, with the basics secured then come investment in knowledge, entertainment and hobbies. But before all of this comes investment in health because if health is shoddy no amount of wealth is going to feel good. Investment in education? Well, unpopular opinion but not in the present political economy, no. Investment in education is useless. In knowledge and skill development? Extremely useful. Though investment in education for social validation and ornamental purposes is recommended but not as essential as gaining real knowledge and skills. I see how the landscape of existence has changed in the past decade. For me it had changed way before that. I experienced gatekeeping of places I didn't even want to go to. Isn't it funny. Someone gatekeeps places you don't even want to go to and then tells you that this place is restricted for you and when you say you never even wanted to go there they become all aggresive and start forcing their opinion that you really wanted to go their when they have all the tools to know whether you did or did not. And then in their obstinate frenzy they murder you. One realises, if they read newspapers, that people lose their lives in this nation for even less than ten rupees. I read a news where a man lost his life because the golgappawala gave him the golgappa first and a similar news where a person lost his life where the eggwala gave him the egg first. It's kind of different here than Europe where choppers are deployed to save the life of one man or America where choppers get involved in a police chase. Once you have a home make sure to invest in nature in your home, and in your own little kitchen garden or a terrace garden. Make sure when it rains that you make pakoras and chai and eat them in your verandah if it is a home or in the balcony if it is a flat. Also, it is extremely important to be at home within yourself, with yourself. The reality we live in is like that bird and monkey story where monkeys destroy the nest of the bird just because he had a place to live in during the rain and they didn't. Build your nest nevertheless.

Vroom

I like motorbikes. My first personal bike was in college which was an Yamaha RX 100, before that during school I had got an XCD 125 which I used to go for tuitions. I don't own the Yamaha anymore and my current bike is an Xpulse 200 which I use to commute to work and since I love the bike it makes my work commute seem like a leisure ride. I haven't got a car for myself and my goal was to get myself a Toyota hatchback. I love Toyota as my family used to own a Toyota Etios and I loved driving it and it was a tough ride. Only Toyota hatchback in the market is Glanza which, as most people know, is a rebranded Maruti Suzuki Baleno. I'll get myself a car as soon as Toyota launches an affordable genuinely Toyota hatchback. I'm not interested in cars, never was, they are just a means of transport for me and a hatchback fulfills that need for me. I'm not even interested in luxury cars and if one has to be practical given the condition of Indian roads and traffic luxury and sports car offer no value except of course doing the job of being a status symbol which is why, I would guess, most people buy them in this country. I love bikes and I like nimble bikes. Xpulse is a great bike and I truly enjoy riding it on broken roads of my hometown which refuse to get repaired. My end goal is to make a collection of bikes and they are not really expensive bikes, but first I want to acquire an RX 100, I genuinely love that bike with all my heart. The bikes I want to get are a TVS Ronin, a Royal Enfield Continental GT and a Triumph Speed 400, so just a very humble list. I wanted to get a KTM Duke too but that bike has its reputation ruined in this country. I love dirt bikes and cafe racers but dirt bikes aren't really practical in this country despite country being full of dirt and trails because of upkeep but that's what guided me towards Xpulse and I haven't been disappointed. Royal Enfield Continental GT seems to be a great cafe racer and I hope to own it as soon as I become a little comfortable. 

Ubuntu XP

While I couldn't be a coder due to choosing Biology over Computer Science in school despite doing a little bit of Java programming in highschool I still keep interest in computers and using and testing different operating systems is one of my favourite hobbies. I was recently building my device ecosystem and apart from Windows, which is essential for my academic and professional work, I tested and used a bunch of Linux distros on my devices. I keep testing Linux distros if I have free devices to experiment and at present I use Bazzite, Pop OS and Zorin OS and Ubuntu on my laptops while keeping seperate Windows machines for my academic and professional work as I need Microsoft Office and other little things for work and professional purposes which are kind of not really smoothly compatible with Linux. I used Fedora and Mint recently too and I enjoy it but ultimately I ended up selecting Bazzite, Pop and Zorin and Ubuntu for my four Linux machines. There are quite a few other OSs in the market a lot of them free but major ones at present are Windows and Linux only if we leave Mac OS which is a whole different ecosystem altogether. I was a Windows fanboy up until Windows XP, a lot of people drew their line with Windows after  Windows 7 and around Windows 8 but for me the best, the absolute zenith of Windows was Windows XP, and of course before that, if we ignore Windows Me, the absolute masterpiece that Windows 98 was. The best thing about Windows 98, XP and even Me was that they had soul and it was because the world had a soul back then, remember that and see Windows 10 and 11 and their lack of soul. Soul is one reason I like Bazzite and to a point even Zorin. You use Bazzite and Zorin and you feel that it is made by good people and this feeling is what I miss with Windows and this was present and I remember well until XP, I haven't used Windows 7, Vista and 8 much. I would never use an Apple product, and I know it is kind of rude and kind of an impossible task given the temptation of seeming classy and rich but my decision has its reasons which I would rather not expand on. Ubuntu is clear about its philosophy, and I love them for it. I think if one has children, it would be good to introduce them to a Raspberry Pi with Raspberry OS and a small monitor (raspberry packages those cute white and pink mouse and keyboard with the device). It would help them learn early about how is the world constructed, which a lot of people take a lifetime in learning. 

Distro Hopper - Bazzite

I have been distro hopping quite regularly, and while my gaming machine came with Windows 11 pre- installed I installed Pop OS on it to try Steam games through Proton. Pop OS does play quite a few games compared to other distros and yet I was not satisfied. At that time I was using Zorin OS on my older gaming machine and Fedora on my Thinkpad. I recently decided to switch it up and installed Pop OS on my Thinkpad and Bazzite on main gaming machine and I have never been happier. Bazzite, I ended up realising, is beautiful, most games on it play out of the box just like Windows and all the tools a gamer would need are in-built, even caffeine that you would require while downloading games on steam so that your computer doesn't sleep. I mostly use computer for my thesis, clinic work, writing and gaming. I had been away from gaming for a while when I went to college so the first thing I did in mid 2010s was getting all the games I missed out on. I like open source and I frequently donate to open source projects which includes Linux and its distros, Wikipedia and online public domain book libraries like  Project Gutenberg. As of now, Bazzite has blown me away, what a beautiful distro for gaming; writing, anyway I can do on other distros and if MS Office is required, on Windows.

Provider and Still A Rider

My first bike was Bajaj XCD 125 when I was in 12th standard. I rode it a bit and then it was time to go to college. When I was in college there was Bajaj Pulsar 150 at home and in the third year of college, I got a second-hand Yamaha RX 100. I consider the RX hundred to be my first bike. I absolutely loved that white and blue 100 cc beast and whenever I took that bike for servicing during my stay in Patna the bike mechanic welcomed me with open arms. He loved to service the bike just like I loved to ride it. I explored Patna on that bike for three years and then it was time to come home. Unfortunately, the RX 100 was taken by one my family staffs and I didn’t have the courage to ask it back and I thought I’ll get another one for myself when I have enough space at my home as it is a consideration. Then I get married and get myself a Hero Duet scooter, it was a shitty scooter but then I can’t say for sure as I didn’t take good care of it but then I don’t take good care of the Activas at home too and they run quite well. There is a Royal Enfield of my brother but to be frank I’m just an admirer of Royal Enfield and not a fan and only Royal Enfield bikes I might get for myself are the Himalayan or the Continental GT. I’m a fan of dirt bikes and cafe racers and hence my preference for the Continental GT. I might get myself one, I think. When my scooter croaked and I had to get myself a two-wheeler for daily commute which is mostly a bit of Highway and quite a bit of village roads, I chose Hero Xpulse 200, it was inspired in part by my love for dirtbikes and although it is not a dirtbike it is the closest a middle class man can come to a dirt bike in India. My opinion of Xpulse 200? Great bike. I thoroughly enjoy my daily commute of about 35 to 40 kms up and down. Runs great on the highway and runs great on village roads.  

I love riding though the bike should be enjoyable to me to enjoy the ride. I dislike heavy bikes and that would include superbikes though I don’t hate them. I like bikes that are easy to handle, nimble and quick. RX 100 I had was all of it and the Xpulse I have is the same, though it’s a bit tall but an enjoyable ride, nonetheless. I might eye a Continental GT for purchase because I love the bike though the final decision would be made after I have ridden it as I haven’t got a chance to ride that bike till now. The Royal Enfield at home is a great ride but it is not as great hype though I can understand it’s a fanboy thing. Like I’m a fan of dirtbikes and cafe racers. Real dirt bikes are expensive, though not as much but I’m waiting for a company to launch an authentic dirtbike in India. The only cafe racer, I think, in the market is Continental GT and I search there are a couple of more, but Continental GT remains the most available and accessible. If the space issue gets solved, I would aim for a RX 100, or I might turn shameless and ask back my RX 100 from my family staff.