Andhadhun – Review

October 7, 2018

Today I watched Andhadhun. I was little late to the theatre so I missed first five minutes and there were calls and messages in between so I missed a little in the middle of the movie too, but from what I have watched, it is a decent movie.

Every actor has done a fine job, especial Ayushmann and Tabu. There is a lot of suspense in the movie and it took a few turns I had not expected.

The story is about a blind pianist who is present at a murder scene. Played by Ayushmann Khurrana, the pianist keeps us guessing if he is really blind or not. Radhika Apte doesn’t have much to do in this movie, but she holds her ground well. Tabu is veteran and this time too she has proved that she is one of the finest actors of Bollywood. The character actors are chosen very well and their performances are top notch.

This movie is a one time watch, but that one time watch is highly recommended.

Venom – Review

October 5,2018

Today I went to watch the movie Venom. I was excited but then half an hour later I started getting bored and by the end of the movie I was nothing but disappointed.

It could have been such a great movie but it wasn’t. Tom Hardy’s performance was good but where this film actually loses is the story. There is nothing new to the story and the pace seems too slow for a superhero movie.

I am not going to reveal the plot here but I will just suggest you that if you haven’t watched it yet you can wait for it to appear on Netflix and Amazon Prime.

Stree - Review

September 27, 2018

This would be a short review because I personally did not like Stree as much. I went in with hopes as it was very hyped and had to buy the most expensive tickets as the cheaper tickets were sold out but it turned out to be just an okay watch.

The film is not so bad though, it’s just that I’m not very much into these type of films. Horror comedy is a sort of new genre in Bollywood and the depiction of an Indian small town in the movie was on point. Acting performances were convincingly good.

It was not a bad movie but I am not very much into such movies and thus for me it was an average watch. Though I could see how there are so many people who liked it.

Ghoul – Review

August 31, 2018

I watched the much awaited Netflix mini-series Ghoul recently and I have to say that I am not disappointed. The horror show stars Radhika Apte and Manav Kaul.

Set in a dystopian near future, Ghoul shows an authoritarian government cracking down on what it perceives anti-national. Radhika Apte plays the role of an Army officer who is called to interrogate a terrorist called Ali Saeed. Radhika is patriotic to the point that she gets her own father arrested because he as a professor was teaching out of the syllabus things to his students.

When Radhika reaches the detention centre she meets the officers there headed by Colonel Dacunha. Things start going bizzare when Ali Saeed is brought to the detention centre and this is how the Ghoul comes in the picture.

The series is well acted, with good sound-design, background score and special effects. The depiction of a dystopian world is satisfying.

The only downside of the series is that there is too much political undertone involved, so much that it becomes subversive. We could have done with more horror and less of politics. Other than this, the series is great overall. It’s different from other Indian shows and the director should be given his due credit for bringing something new to the table. Worth a watch.

Sacred Games – Review

July 7, 2018

I watched Sacred Games yesterday. It was a compelling series and I couldn’t stop till I completely finished all eight episodes. It is a gritty and fascinating tale about Ganesh Gaitonde an underworld boss and an honest cop Sartaj Singh in the city of Mumbai. It shows the rise of Ganesh Gaitonde, played by Nawazuddin Siddiqui in the 80s Mumbai and the struggle of an honest cop Sartaj Singh, played by Saif Ali Khan, in the Mumbai police force in the present time.

The city plays an important role in the series and is beautifully captured by the lens. The direction is tight and the acting by all the cast members is top notch. Nawazuddin deserves a special mention for his stellar performance.

The plot is about return of a crime boss to Mumbai and him contacting Police officer to warn him about an a danger that looms on the city of Mumbai. The cop and a RAW agent, played by Radhika Apte try to find out what the danger is, and how to stop it. The story unfolds both in past where story of Gaitonde’s rise as a crime lord is shown and in present where Sartaj dealing with corruption in his own department tries to uncover the secrets about Gaitonde’s prophecy.

Series is fast paced and well done. The cinematography is great and the score fits perfectly.

A must watch.

Bhavesh Joshi Superhero

June 2, 2018

I had gone into the theatre with much expectations from this movie but the film couldn’t match up to my expectation. It is a story of three friends, two of them trying to fight corruption in their own way in the city of Mumbai. Bhavesh Joshi and Sikku start a YouTube channel called Insaaf TV and stop things like cutting of trees, bunking schools, public urination and poor internet service etc. They were part of a larger anti-corruption movement which fails. Sikku joins a corporate job as a coder but Bhavesh still runs the channel and uncovers corruption in the system where water mafia are stealing water from the city and then selling them in tankers at a high cost. Something happens and Bhavesh is killed by the water mafia. Sikku, who was being sent to America by his company stays back and vows to fight the mafia which is headed by a corrupt politician. He learns martial arts and goes all out against the mafia. Sadly, that wasn’t enough and our hero ends up getting wounded and then thrown in a river to die. The third friend Rajat then saves him and he gets better again to start the fight again.

The movie is a drag. Only female character is Sikku’s girlfriend Sneha who has not much to do in the movie.

The movie takes a long time to build up but the buildup leads to nowhere. Chase sequences are interesting but the movie is so boring that they don’t help.

I doubt they will make a sequel for this movie because I am not sure if the film will do well on the box office.

Even if the film had to have a gritty and realistic tone, a lot could have been done, take Netflix’s Daredevil for example. Film disappoints at many levels and the saving graces are very few, like the cinematography and the chase sequence. You can pass it and watch it when it is available on Netflix or TV.

Avengers Infinity War – The experience

April 29, 2018

I went to watch Avengers Infinity War yesterday. It was a 12:30 show at PDR Carnival cinemas in Varanasi. The seats were full but we had booked our tickets in advance so there was no problem. We reached 45 minutes early at the mall and decided to go to Dominos outlet situated in the mall. After all we had to pass our time and our tummies were also a little empty. We had Chicken at Dominos which I personally won’t recommend. It was lemon and peri peri and four pieces each was too much for two persons. Thankfully we had coke so that we could gulp it down.

We then proceeded toward the theatre which was jam packed, mostly with people in their teens and early twenties. The movie had already started when we got inside the theatre. We were given 3D glasses and then we got comfortable on our seats. When we started watching the movie the scene with Thanos, Thor and Loki was being played.

I had expected much more from the movie but nonetheless the movie was good enough, except the ending part which I think would be resolved in the next part of the franchise. The movie had funny dialogues and banters among the superheroes which was a fun thing to watch.

When the movie finished I was still unsure of the of the ending and it took me a little time and a few google searches to completely understand it.

I read Captain Marvel is going to be released in 2019 and I hope they shed some light on this ending.

The visual effects were good, except for some places but as in Black Panther, something was missing. I enjoyed the movie but was left unsatisfied in the end. May be things will be better in the next Avengers movie.

Emotional healing and mental stability

If you want to learn something best thing is to experiment. For people who can’t choose lab rats, the best rats will be they themselves. DIY is a good thing, the problem here is you can’t find time for doing everything yourself so you have to choose what actually do you wish to work upon.
I had a tough time with my emotions and i had to find a way of proper disposal of unwanted thoughts. Writing is like a purge, and since i wanted to write i thought why not i should convey it in my writing and give it a form. A take it or leave it form of a writing. A sort of warning and truth, about what really happens. Realism at an existential level i would say. These kind of things are purely personal, and you wish to find out more especially if you have a story in your head.
There are different kind of people in the world, if we have to arrange something we can do it by completing each thing and moving on or first arranging each specific part of a particular thing and keep doing it to complete the picture, it is a personal choice.

Writing for better or worse are life boats, and people who write should be least tyrannical. When i wrote earlier i wrote just for myself, to vent out my emotions. These are things you do to yourself because when you want to help the ones who need it, you need to suffer like them, i believe in making the best out every situation so i thought it would help me in both ways. I had ample chance, because life was not kind, and to be helped, you need to have people around you at the same level, otherwise the help is useless. The things i have to do, i have to do, this is the whole thing. When you can keep everyone happy, you can obviously do it when you know you can do it, unless ofcourse some outside interference spoils it.

Healing is my job, and i believe in doing my work as best as possible, so if someone tells me that i have caused any harm it becomes obvious that they haven’t followed the instructions well.
There are a lot of struggles in life, and sometimes one can’t keep their head straight while working on a few things. Attachments are good for this particular time, i made some mistakes at this time and paid an extremely heavy price with delay and destruction.

Good thing is when you’re learning to save others you become a good swimmer yourself. Bad thing is, people do not want to be saved, and the ones who really need saving never speak up. We have a saviour syndrome of sorts in all of us, so i tend to refrain as much from it as possible. What i do is try to create a happy world around my people so they can be in peace. But, given the inquisitive nature of people and their penchant for prejudices, people like me should remain in the corner.

Emotional healing is not a big deal, the big deal here is how much damage you can take. I thought i could take some liberties according to my belief system but fate had different plans for me. Better late than never though. I’ll keep writing, and as soon as i get to work i’ll start treating people again.
Understanding is the best cure for mental instability, and necessary for empathy. If you are able to empathize with the worse, then only you will be able to treat them properly. At least i function on this belief.

I’m responsible for my share of work, others are responsible for theirs. Can’t say i did not get carried away, but that’s human nature i think. Everyone should have the right to be selfish in their corner, right to take care of people they care about in the way they can, and the right to heal themselves when they’re hurt.

Feb 10, 2017

How To Avoid Politics?

I avoid politics by simply ignoring it. By knowing when that one vote would make the difference. Until then, it is a strict no. I avoid politics anywhere, and everywhere. I’m aware, i have my political beliefs, i like certain ideologies, but politics is a game for dedicated, and i have a lot of other things to be dedicated on.

Politics is simply a waste of time for a person who has better things to do. Still, being updated is more than necessary, being updated and knowing which person would be right for the country irrespective of the ideology he belongs to.
Some times individuals are bigger than ideology they function on, also, sometimes it’s only the ideology that guides the person. Every politician has an agenda, and i look for the agenda of betterment of people.

Be aware, be updated and let it go, do not take part in it until you are dragged in it. I live in a democracy so i can afford this luxury.
Politics is for people in love of power, fewer people in politics have an agenda of really serving people and these people should be promptly looked out for.

I’m a kind of person who is in love with knowledge, i like to keep myself informed. Knowledge is power they say, yes, but it is just the potential for power. Also, here, knowledge becomes necessary for the people who have to be in power; knowledge, kindness and judiciousness.

We are surrounded by politics, and it is more of sociological thing. My interests deal with individual things, because it is my belief that when individuals are better, society will become better itself.

I prefer to keep myself busy in the things i had decided to work on, whilst knowing the facts. It is difficult to know the facts in today’s era but we have to take what we are served.

The trick here is not whether you vote or not; the trick here is to know when that one vote of yours will make the difference.
Feb 9, 2017

Why (healthy) food is important

I’m not a foodie, though i was very choosy when it came to food during my childhood, but as i stepped into adulthood i got into the habit of eating whatever is available. Sometimes i forget to eat, and can pass a day with a steady stream of tea/coffee flowing and also without it.

I do not drink, unless i’m with people of my inner circle or there is a special occasion. I tend to smoke only if there is some worry or some thought disturbing my mind which in recent times has increased manifold, and i do not like to eat non-veg except for eggs, chicken, and fresh water fishes.

I tend to eat a lot of junk food, and especially street food. I eat at places where normal people will generally avoid to eat due to hygiene constraints but once in a while i tend to break those barriers to for the sake of “adventure”. A thing i never compromise on is water. I like to drink clean water and i seldom trust a place for the quality of water unless the mode is “adventure”. If i see my expenses on food, i think a major part of total expense of my food will be on bottled water. I just can’t tolerate my water to have impurities, or germs.

All this said, i can’t stress more on the importance of a healthy diet, and the benefits not smoking.

The basics of diet are very simple, eat what’s healthy for you, eat what your stomach agrees upon, and most of all eat on time.

Healthy eating habits are no rocket science, and if your eating habits are healthy in general, then it give you obvious reasons to cheat on weekends, or whenever you have a chance of cheating.

Set a timing for your meals, breakfast, lunch, tea and dinner. Select a few healthy munchies for the time in between, eg. Seasonal fruits may be, keeping in mind the restrictions if you have any disease condition or intolerance, allergy (this is a state the obvious post).

The diet should be balanced making sure the daily requirement of each essential nutrient is fulfilled.

The food must be hygienic above all, to avoid any sort of infection.

If you are obese, and do not have any disorder say endocrine, you can blame it on nothing but your diet and lack of exercise. Lower your carbs, start sweating, and do it consistently for considerable period of time.

If you are too thin, take high protein diet such as meat, eggs, pulses and paneer (cottage cheese).

We have different metabolisms so basically we can’t compare with others, but we can be healthy, and that is most important. Fresh vegetables, juices, salads, and foods with a lot of fiber to keep our intestines clean.

This is basically school wisdom, but sometimes stating the obvious becomes important.

Feb 4,2017

A pop culture approach to mental health

I have spent considerable time with psychiatry and wanted to go further into its neurophysiological approach but due to some troubles couldn’t continue my formal studies. Anyhow, after giving so much time to the subject, and dealing with quite a number of patients for my age i can safely assume that i can convert some basic points which can help, in an understandable format and with that i will also try to relate it to pop culture.

To start with, psychiatry lies between what they call these days expectation and reality, or/and it is the by product of expectation vs reality.

It’s 2017, and thanks to the media social and otherwise, the expectations have gone way beyond the reality. We are changing, and our high expectations, if there is capability and resources both is actually a good thing, in case of absence of either, or in case of absence of both can cause conflict.
In not so olden times disorders used to be related mostly to damage to the psyche, due to some happening eg. accidents/conflicts, conditioning issues and not to mention neurochemical imbalances due to above or other reasons.

Today our standards are too high, and as people we obviously want to be liked and accepted. What about the ones who don’t fit into the standard, or even think that they don’t fit into the standard?
The result here is conflict and a myriad of disorders, chief and most common among them being depression, which in simpler language is helpless anxiety.

Anxiety for what, you will ask, and then i’ll have to ask your age. If you are a teen it may be anything from not having a girlfriend/boyfriend, to not not getting expected marks, which causes insecurity about future. In adulthood it can be joblessness, or an unsuitable partner. Remember, our standards are high due to the times we live in.

Thankfully our lives have become easier (and harder) due to technology and we can achieve the perfect body we are so depressed about by having a gym membership and sticking to the regime. Reaching our standards gives happiness to us, makes us feel safer and reduces our anxiety.
Conscientiousness has been a chief cause of mental health issues since a long time though it is a necessary thing in society for its proper functioning despite reducing with a drastic pace in proportion to the population and competition.

Conscientious people with soft hearts, or image conscious people generally fall prey to mental health issues. Also, not to forget about people who are over-competitive and able which can lead to sadism, megalomania, narcissism and such issues if the emotions are not handled properly.
Generation gap due to technology has played an important role in the problems of youngsters, which i believe started increasing in the decade of 90s for Indians and went full blown after 2000s. No wonder now we have so many memes, trends, so much humor, bullying and video content, and much more art compared to earlier times. Not always, but we can relate art and anxiety.

Jan 14,2017

Why selflessness is (not) stupid

Anything that has been cultivated or honed is (supposed to be) respected more than anything that is instinctual. World or the human species can get better but i doubt if we can get better during threat or crisis. I dream of a world where chicken cross the road to walk into the tandoor, i had once thought of this line.

The basic blunt truth is that we can’t be selfless enough, and even more basic truth is we can’t stop being selfish.

I always find a link between selfishness and ambition. Some people are inherently extra-selfish, some become selfish due to conditioning, and some learn selfishness by exposure. The thing to know is we all are selfish enough.

Selflessness generally comes from the greatest of people who have this extreme morality factor in them which makes them do tasks which are not really possible in the Netflix and Chill mode. The question is, would they do those tasks if they had the option to Netflix and chill.
What i believe with experience is chill factor should be greatly reduced due to external factors to be able to discard the normal Netflix and chill.

As social animals we are products of our instincts, opportunities, choices, and beliefs.

Mother Teresa was undoubtedly a selfless woman, and i have immense respect for her. People who oppose her may give thousand reasons but she feels right to me and always has.

Anything started with a good intention turns into a business after sometime if it is not taken care of with the same zeal with which it was started. I have a lack of this specific thing called zeal, because of my self-proclaimed Nihilism, though i do not find myself a Nihilist most of the times. Nihilism is a human reaction to extreme disappointment.

People coming to escape their lives and with it their angst and insecurities, these people who want to help others just to be able to find a mission or to be able to ease their angst, i wonder, how can they understand a white woman who spent her whole life between brown people, that too the rotting lot among them.

If a leper is treated with kindness and dies a Christian, does it really matter if his god was Krishna?
All the judgement against Mother Teresa should come after paying attention to the fact that she was a white woman who left her family (for whatever reasons) and came to India, and loved those who are loved by none, she actually cleaned wounds of lepers, and treated the sick. She actually took orphans in her arms, cleaned them and bathed them.

Religion is always there, because, selfishness. Religion is the product of human selfishness as a race, and the most kind, helpless, selfless and strongest of it’s followers become its proponents.
The sheep needs to be reared for sometime. The cattle needs to be fed. It all needs to be done, because that’s how it all works.

If i can’t share my fries, i do not consider myself good enough to talk about Mother Teresa, but i actually can share my fries. I sacrifice, not because it is cool, but because sometimes it is the only way to prevent a damage which can’t be prevented otherwise.

Selfishness with the capability of extreme sacrifice, we all are built this way. It just depends if we consider anything worth the sacrifice or not.

These are just the extremes, selflessness, sacrifice and all that. What an average person can do is try to do his best for people around him, the deserving ones, while taking enough care to protect himself. For an average joe, selflessness exists only if the self does.

Jan 8,2017

Why subcultures are important

In context of India, we have various cultures. I was born in Eastern Uttar Pradesh, and was raised in West Uttar Pradesh. Though it is still Uttar Pradesh there is considerable variation in the culture. The initial days of my childhood were spent at a rice research station in West UP majorly in company of science and agriculture.

When you see and live in different cultures you learn to adapt accordingly. Changes in location during schooling lead to further adaptation. It is here subcultures become important.
Subcultures are mainly derived from literarure and media especially when there is no such group around. We watch television, movies, read magazines and comic books and choose our subculture accordingly.

Subcultures specially in teenage are a great coping mechanisms since Indian society is not that kind to so called outsider as they are to the insiders, who actually belong to the group.
Anybody who knows about Mtv India in early 2000s would agree that it was the hipster factory of India at that time. Mtv India and Channel V of that era. Mtv Select with Nikhil Chinappa and VJs such as Anusha Dandekar were the curators of future hipster generation.

I’ve been a hipster in my head since those days and it actually provided me with a sense of relief with the constant changes in my life.

Culture is important, but in teenage and early youth the choice of your subculture will define the person you are going to be in future.

In Indian society if you are not very brave or belong to a metropolitan, you can’t actually overtly express but subcultures do their job when one identifies with it.

I have shuffled through subcultures, and that you do to choose what fits better. Hipster or Indie, if i have to choose one, i’ll choose indie, though i do not think they are mutually exclusive.
Our generation surpassed the culture despite being in it, and thus need for a subculture arose. Thanks to Mtv India which was much better in those days than it is now.

My teens were spent listening to Pakistani rock bands, and i was a fan of Indie bands. Too bad we don’t have as good Urdu/Hindi rock bands in India.

In my childhood there were no Indian cartoon characters, so all we had was Cartoon Network, Nick and Disney Hour.

We don’t have Indian superheroes, mostly because we have Gods, but i think we need more superheroes in India so that children can relate themselves with them. Gods are too holy to relate with.

In my youth i’d call myself a desi hipster in the head leaning towards indie, which actually turned total indie later on. I feel that there should be some work in hindi indie scene in India. Lucky Ali with his ballads, whom many will consider as 90s pop, is actually according to me evergreen indie.

Subcultures are important, though most of them are imports. They are important for for teenagers and the children on the move. Culture defines and subculture saves.

Dec 30,2016

Feminism in the light of Patriarchy

Men physically have upper hand over women and that is the design of nature. Patriarchial systems developed due to the same reason. Women have a nurturing nature and they a matriarchial society would probably be more content and happy than a patriarchial one. Still, the leader of a tribe in olden times, i think was mostly chosen on the basis of skills in warfare, and administration. Women who have the capacity to lead have lead, no matter the society is patriarchial or matriarchial. Husbands of strong and intelligent women listen to them no matter what, and mostly because they have to. Nature has given women upper hand over men by making women the source of fulfillment of their needs.
Patriarchy will abolish itself, as human beings are better educated. It develop as a natural system, and now with education the need of patriarchy is diminishing.

Still, feminism itself is the child of patriarchy, especially the aggressive kind of it. In a peaceful world humans will not need aggression and thus there will not be a need to switch their natural roles. As individual people we all have aggression in us in order to protect ourselves. In extremist form of feminism this aggression tends to generalise into the group and towards the other group.
Since, women won’t be able to physically overpower men unless they work on the agenda of feminising men to achieve the superiority, the only way left is to use the greatest weapon of them all, that is the mind.

Men are generally independent, since they have to compete for women. There camaraderie is for a purpose, and survival. We form groups for survival, and so do women.
Patriarchial societies have thrived because men have formed groups to protect and hunt, and women have formed groups to nurture.

The equation is changing now, and with comfortable lifestyles, it has mostly become each one for himself, as it always was. The camaraderie starts due to a need and remains due to attachment.
Since we are in a comfortable society, with more order and comfort, the need for physical power has diminished and thus it is the right time for women to fight for power.
Feminism ideally should be for providing equal opportunity for the oppressed. Equality means equality in all respects, and the ones who fight for equality have to go through hard times at first, this is how it is.

The extremist kind of feminism is not about making females equal, it is about, as i have said earlier, revenge. Still, any ideology needs extremism in the beginning, just to attract attention and create fear, but the problem arises when the thought process is wrong.

Women tend to gang up against men, which men generally, if they are not sadistic, don’t do to women. Any one who has been a shy child, can recall how it is never about genders but numbers. Guys, mostly the bullying types, gang up for pleasure against a single girl. The case with girls is the same, when they are enough in number they do not leave a chance to make a shy guy uncomfortable. That is a normal process and actually good for development and understanding the real nature of the world as children. Ganging up is a natural animal behaviour done for security, survival, power, or pleasure. This is a natural response and we do not need to learn it.

Feminism is an ideology, so instead of propogating animal behaviour it should focus on independence, self-sufficiency and liberation of women.
The society is still patriarchial, but changes are to be made from grass roots, it is then they are going to last.

The primary agenda should be to make women incharge of their own person and sexuality, and accept the fault in their judgement if they make a wrong choice in a relationship. In a world of equality there is competition. Ganging-up shouldn’t happen in the name of feminism but for its own sake, because if it happens in the name of feminism it is actually spoiling the agenda of equality by proving the victim inferior only because she is a female.

By taking the sexual models defined for females by patriarchy we are only enforcing the patriarchial constructs. It is mostly like having the best of both worlds.

Haryana and elsewhere female children are declining just because of sexuality. As their sexuality is taken as “honour”, and it is considered better to not have a girl child, than to risk losing the “honour”. The practise of feminism is required in these classes and not among educated people who are capable of making life choices and decisions about their sexuality by themselves.

I find it extremely humorous how Indian women practice their feminism in the shade of patriarchy, feminism has still not reached where it is really required and in the way it is required. A lot has to be done.

Dec 29, 2016

Psychological disorders with a subjective perspective

I have been working extensively on psychological disorders on a personal level and wanted to work into field of Neuro-psychiatry which couldn’t become possible due to my personal and other limitations.

I had first experienced depression in 2009–10 when one of my friends isolated me from my friends in college due to a misunderstanding. He had called his then female friend from my phone and his simcard, and back then i had an LG phone, which retained numbers even after changing the simcard. So later when i changed the sim, the number remained which he happened to see, and pledged to destroy me. I had no idea what was wrong but later i lost my best friend over that due to some sort of misinformation. I had my medical university exams at that time and i became isolated except one female friend. That experience was disappointing and though i regained all the relations after that but loneliness remained. The thought of how people can believe misinformation so easily, even if it is about their best friend troubled me for long. I had suffered with a bout of rheumatism in 2008 which was still on the recovery and my first boards, the toughest and scariest exam for a med student, i did not have the friends i believed in the most.

I was struggling with the thought of leaving the course inside since it was not giving me the satisfaction i wanted, but that isn’t easy when one has already passed one year. I had tried for entrances just once and that too when i was sick, so may be i could do it and become a surgeon or something, which i think i would’ve been good at.

Second year was tougher, i studied less from the syllabus and mostly read things which didn’t belong to it, i slept in the classes, and had fun. The interest was just not there. It was in second year that i visited a psychiatrist, and he diagnosed me with anxiety.

Anxiety was a common thing for me back then, mostly of the anticipatory type. Though it could never affect my functioning so much. The major problem was lack of interest, but still since i had to be a good doctor i studied on my own, mostly the things i like, which were at that time out of the syllabus. A doctor needs to know everything so i things i skipped i had to study later on, because everything is so related and good skill comes after enough knowledge.

I started reading psychiatry somewhere around my second year, and during the same time i started to write again to cope with my thoughts.

People with similar interests are necessary, especially at the right time. People with deep thought are hard to find. For a deep person it is easy to be shallow but a shallow thinking person won’t be able to think deeply.

Here i developed the ability to be shallow enough for the world, and to retain my ability of deep thought for personal purposes such as writing and finding the answers to my qyestions which were at that time at least, not available in the medical literature.

Disorders and co-morbidities

I read the literature and since i was already suffering back then i decided to push my psyche to the limit to be able to personally experience each thing, it would be also good for the stories i write, i had thought back then, i had enough reserve of anger, and conflict and i needed to push myself.
Luckily or unlucklily i went to bihar and that place was fertile ground for it all without even trying much. It was here i could have extensive experience of the disorders on self by modifying them a little.
When you experience such things, you automatically develop empathy for people who suffer. I had faced difficulties in my 12th std, and then in the 2nd year, and thus i decided to work further with a few concepts in my head.

Bipolarity

Bipolarity as a subjective experience is due to anxiety, or a thought conflict. One can struggle with any conflict, and what is actually an issue for one person may not be an issue for other. So basically it is an issue of conditioning and thought process. To achieve bipolarity one needs to do things that cause severe conflict between their self-image and the real self, and that needs to be done for a considerable period of time.

Since i was already suffering with anticipatory anxiety and existential crisis at that time it was easy for me to shift through co-morbidities and experience them.

I am generally a funny person and had a considerable amount of hilarity till college; with my friends and close ones i’m still the same, but my extroverted nature subsided after my social experiences. 

Anyway, the conflict needs to be there. The need to express oneself and the need to stay away or protect. This is actually the key of solving bipolarity. The need between expressing and hiding/blocking. Hiding/blocking occurs generally when shame is involved as with me in the present scenario. One needs to damage their superego as Freud calls it and favour their id, to create an extreme conflict. In this way when one has enough of anxiety it can be “misused” to create diseases and experience them, and for anxieties and conflicts you need to put yourself in situations which are not aligned with your actual conditioning.

Schizophrenia can be developed as a further response, when the brain totally loses it.
I had suffered with fugue during the time of crisis because the anxiety i had already collected had suddenly met with a real crisis, and thus a block was created, to prevent an overload.
These are just subjective experience which are hard to find from reliable sources. Since i’m a medical person myself, and i have done my observations carefully i believe it to be authentic. Next i wanted to be able to structurally and chemically know the brain but it could happen due to the mishap.
The gaslighting couldn’t affect me because i had already done that before to myself. Fear for self depends on the will to live, which i have in great quantity, but the desire is lacking. Fear of life is for people who desire to live, and who have either not experienced the worst of human nature or themselves have the worst of human nature. My fear stems from potential harm to people i love and destruction of my hard work and struggle which is not even visible.

I actually do not have any anxiety right now, and the only anxiety i get is when i have to complete something in a given time-frame, that’s a tough thing to do.

I wish i could experience psychopathy but that actually comes needs early psychological damage. Narcissism is easy for me if i develop a self-image i love, but my self-image varies with people i’m with, like with friends i’m the same guy who was with them during school, without even a little change. My personal self image is of a guy with a woolen coat, round glasses, baggy pants, canvas shoes and a black beret, i love this self-image but not so much to be narcissistic about it.

Dec 29,2016

Why love is (not) the answer

We are surrounded by love around us, not as much as we are surrounded by hate and fear, but we are.
I had the good fortune of growing up in a beautiful family where my grandfather taught me best things a child could learn. He taught me Hindi, and my hindi was almost impeccable at least till i was in my class 10.

I used to go on morning walks with him, and used to eat jalebi while returning. I used to hear beautiful mantras while i used to return, and i can almost smell the mornings of my hometown as i write this. I love my grandfather the most in this world. He is responsible for everything that is good in me, visible or invisible.

When i was a kid, he taught me to touch feet of the elders because when we bow down to others, i think that makes us a little difficult to be hated and little easier to be loved.
He used to teach me math on a slate and used to beat me whenever i made a mistake, i remeber sitting in his lap and watching that old commercial of National Literacy Mission in which an old man used to teach a young boy, while he shaved, i was taught like that.

The way i grew up, i had never seen hate, not in my house and very little outside.
When i was a little kid i was sitting with a boy who was my own age in the ground in front of my house, and he suddenly yells abuse to my father. I did not know how to respond, and i didn’t, the only question that came into my mind was, why? That why, remains till now.
I had the greatest of childhoods, except a few mishaps, i had one of the greatest childhood one can possibly have. I never needed much, i had enough books, comic books, sketch pens, and a black and white TV later replaced by a coloured TV to watch cartoons on. I used to watch ducktales, talespin, and such disney shows. I used to watch Swabhimaan when i used to return from the school, though there was nothing much i could understand. I used to watch Ajnabee by Danny which had a whistle i remember to date.

Life was simple, and i had everything i wanted. It was a small world complete in itself.
Even as a grown up person i consider myself a one bag man. I have very fewer needs, air, water, food, clothes shelter, books to read and writing to vent out the stuff boiling in my head.
I have been dealing with intricacies of realations and deeper systems involved in them, i wanted to connect both the emotional part and the physiological part to satisfy some questions i had during growing up. I have dealt with it so much that it is now difficult for me to socialise without looking a little fake.

Love is a positive force, it is the glue that binds people, families and not often but the society too. It binds us to the nation. We love something for various reasons, either that thing fills a need or void in us or fulfills us in some manner, or may be it helps us survive or thrive, or may be we see an image of ourselves in that thing, may be that thing evokes pleasurable sensation, or past memories of things we used to love. I do not know what real love is, but one quality i associate with love is that of sacrifice. If you love someone you should be able to sacrifice, or compromise. It doesn’t mean that you have to do it all the time, but the capacity should be there to call the thing as love.

Hate is fear with love. We hate someone only when we love something in that person, but it invokes fear in a much greater quantity than love. Imagine the over-studious guy in the class which people hate, they love the quality, but they are also jealous of him, which actually is the fear of being defeated.
In these times love is obsolete, and emotions expressed are synthetic. I like to keep my emotions real and thus i have fewer friends, when i meet older acquaintances, i wish their good from all my heart, after all that’s all one can do, right? I do not get jealous often, because my work is defined in my head, i have/had specific areas in which i had/has to acquire a specific amount of proficiency. Clearly defined areas, and enough things to do leave a very low scope of jealousy.
Women are more jealous of each other because deep down they are afraid of not being selected as a mate. It has been about looks for them since long, and thus jealousy among them is clearly visible even if they try to hide it.

We get jealous for our partners, because we are afraid that they would choose someone better than us for them, and since these things are programmed we can’t do much about them.
These days we have enough things to keep ourselves busy and so we do not have time to be loved or to love. We just need a mate, as a reserve.

The people who do not get love, or are too proud are the ones who get violent/revengeful in a relationship. The ones who have been loved enough know how to sacrifice and let go people. Also, to let go of people we need to believe in ourselves.

Love tends to come on a physical and behavioural level when fear strikes. A liking for our own self image takes form of narcissism. Jealousy which is actually appreciation/love with fear may take form of blocking/plotting which is normally seen in academia and offices.
We fear things because of several reason, either they are threat to ourselves or something we love, or they are harmful for something we would like to preserve. Anxiety is the fear of something which has not yet presented itself.

Society is composed of many kinds of people, and especially in a country as overpopulated as ours we can never know, what kind of people our loved ones are going to meet, and thus love here is not an answer.

Different cities have different approaches, the city i spent my teens at is one of the most criminal areas in the country, and crime just like art and spirituality/religiosity stems from fear. Why so much fear in an area which is rich enough, its soil fertile enough, and then i get the answer, the answer is arrogance, that is too much confidence in one’s ability, or an inflated self-image, they snatch what they need and destroy what they want. This is by far the mentality of most criminal minded and also others who have power and reason to do so. Also, when such an image is threatened the result is not painting, art, writing or praying but retaliation.

People these days do not have values. The children in cities lack them, and with so much of population and fight in the queues, the ones with manners and values will always be standing at the last.
We should always remember that fear is the most basic emotion. Love is a choice, a choice which is not difficult to make, but the lack of trust prevents it. A fear of emotional pain, stops us from loving. These days it is true, we can’t find such love, and the kind of love we find is taken forgranted and judged.
We have a lot of things to entertain us, phones, tablets, laptops, but these things only feed our hunger for real emotions for sometime and incite even more of it just like a drug does.
Love is for the ones with courage, it is not for the cowards, it is the answer, and the cure, but in modern times we get either a quick fix or something synthetic.

Dec 24, 2016

How is it to (not to) grow into an adult

When i was a kid i used to go to school in a rickshaw, a cycle rickshaw which had other kids. A new rickshaw/bus/van is a new territory and we as humans/animals are bound to protect ours. There was this guy called Jassu, who tried to bully me once. It went on for a few days and one day i had a fight with him in the school. He was teasing me and thus i shoved him and tore his shirt. He complained to Sister Principle and since it was a visible evidence i got a thrashing. Later, his mother came to my house and told my father that i tore Jassu’s shirt. I got a savage piece of my father’s swagger that day. I stopped fighting from that day onward, and Jassu later became my friend.

I considered that beating from my father bad until I grew up. When i grew up and became intelligent enough for myself i realised that it was that beating that made me tactical in my social transactions. I’m emotionally honest in my relations, but that has no visible evidence. I tend to identify people’s needs and thus try to reach a middle ground. Whenever i have showed complete trust in somebody all i have got is deceit, so i decided to be emotionally honest and avoid trust altogether. I trust my family blindly no matter what, and i decide to trust my friends because if they deceive me, it is my fault.

I fear my anger, and thus suffer it myself as much as I can. Sarcasm is a protection, but i like it as a skill for pleasure. A good sarcastic joke or dark humour touches the painful area of your heart and tells it that these things do not matter, we do not need to trouble ourselves on every little thing or the things that 

have already happened because there are bigger issues at hand. Nothing is better than that.

Some things are like scars. A good pathologist knows that healing takes time, but the society doesn’t give us time to heal unless we are really privileged. I do not hurt people, and have my best behaviour on at all times while trying to heal from inside. A healed sick person has better capacity of healing other people because he knows their pain.

Children these days are suffering. The 90s kids when they suffered knew about it and this is what made us special. The millennials are extremely intelligent, they know everything, and still most of them are ignorant of the things that really matter. I do not blame them. Look at what we are providing them. Worst thing than being sick is being sick and not knowing it.

We are creating our own monsters by frightening little children. Children need challanges to make them strong, they need to face fear to be courageous, but helpless fear will turn them into something else all together.

It is better to not to grow and to have your inner child thriving under the mask of adulthood. We need to remember all the happiness and fears we had so that we do not give fear to another child.
Michael Jackson loved children. If you see specific Music Videos of him, you will know that, but fear, that turned him into a paedophile. Love of children is a love of innocence, and when fear is mixed with it, it turns evil, because evil knows only pleasure.

I’m so grown up that i’m retired, and thus need no growing up further, but i need to be in touch of my inner child, because children are aggressively honest.

When we are children we can punch the other person in the face just because we don’t like him, or we are jealous of him, but when we are adults we have to conceal it under false reasons.
I fell in love with guitar by watching Indie bands like Strings and artists like Lucky Ali. As an adult i grew more into classical but on my favourite instrument, that is the guitar. This combination is not very common, but this is a great example of how our childhood shapes us.

We are making our monsters, and if we are doing that, we are the monsters. We need to protect our children, and the initiation should be by those who are in the business, like teachers, parents, and all other people who are in direct contact with children. We don’t need the inner child in us to be stupid, evil or greedy when we grow up. We need to have an understanding of evil, good and greater good. We need naughty children, as much as the calm, good ones. We need happy children all around us. And we don’t need to grow up ever, as someone has rightly said, ‘adulthood is a trap.’
Dec 12, 2016

The society we live in

We live in a society. There are different sections of it, and most of them are necessary for its growth, development and proper functioning.

In India there are many facets of it, all merged together to form a complex and vibrant structure of our society. Indian society is one of the most vibrant and diverse societies in the world. Like all other societies, it is composed of families, religions, communities, social groups. Caste is one of the things that separates Indian society from the other societies of the world.
Caste is something what i would call the product of natural evolution and greed both. A priest’s child would get nature and nurture of a priest. The catch here is that a warrior or priest would never like his offspring to go down the caste system and do menial tasks. And there is also this truth that in long lines of priests,warriors businessmen, there would be some genetic changes making them suitable to that particular job.

An observational example of it would be shyness experienced by otherwise happy and calm people with warrior backgrounds which suddenly turns into vehemency when challanged.
Another example would be higher manipulative abilities of the people belonging to high classes, say for example Brahmin caste of the Indian society.
These are observational things and need minute observations and I believe it to be the product of both nature and nurture.

Society is changing everywhere. In India intermixing of caste is happening, which is good, both for the society and the genetic material of Indian people.

There are many issues in India, and as every educated person would know, the most important thing to solve all these problems is education. I’m not talking about engineering and astronomy or even arts. I’m talking about basic things like hygiene, nutrition, sanitation, and the ability to live without disturbing or destroying other person’s life as much as possible.

Older people were intelligent. They had a lot of distractions for people to keep them calm, happy and submissive like religious festivals, fasts, pilgrimage etc. In modern society these things have been replaced by movies, Netflix and concerts.

In India, much has changed since independence but while countries which were completely destroyed in world war II have recovered. India still lags behind even after 60 years of independence.
There is a doubt humans will ever stop exhibiting tribe culture, and Nations are the tribes of today.
Our Indian education system is strange, and teaching is not a sacred profession anymore; it is a profession of losers and that too not even the real ones, because i believe real losers make the best of teachers. They are fake losers, teaching just for the sake of their petty survival. And when you teach for money, nobody is going to learn. Primary education in India has become so damaged that all we are doing is destroying children, who are later growing into either stupid, greedy or damaged adults. Competition is encouraged instead of individuality. The teacher should be sane and intelligent enough to judge the intelligence and aptitude of the child and adjust self accordingly. Why? Because teaching is his job, no the child’s. But for this we need teachers who are good at their job; and not fake losers. We need either good-at-their-job teachers, or real-wise-losers. For this we need to start respecting teaching as a profession, especially primary teaching again.

When a society starts rotting, the ones who are affected the most are the good people; because obviously a rotten society is a party for evil people.

Can’t the corporate advertisements have a ‘keep your city clean’, just like the ‘mutual fund investments… “ thing. Can’t they choose at least one social issue that doesn’t affect their business and help in solving it? A ‘keep your city clean’ written behind a chewing gum wrapper makes much more difference than a ‘smoking is injurious’ written on a cigarette pack.
Our population is exploding, and it is a total failure on the part of people who’s job was planning. We need to do our jobs well. If a watchman sits for a while at his job, we look at him in disdain, but when a official at high position ignores his duties, no one comes to know.

It’s tough managing a nation with all this politics and bureaucracy, and that is an understood fact. But real failure shows, and so do real successes.

Can’t the media be a little responsible, and instead of showing a naked butt split in half by train in the news paper can’t they show something which is pleasurable and inspiring. As a consumer of media i do not need to be shown if cows drink milk of aliens on TV, i will find it out if i’d need it. Media has mostly become about making people stupid, greedy, ignorant than making them wise, kind and happy.
The thing here to know is that we are not doing our jobs well. I appreciate every person who is atleast trying well. I watch conspiracy theories for fun, and i do not really care about them, i do not care about anything which i do not have power to change, but it is always better to be informed.
The thing here to understand is that a repressed society is not a good society, a good society is a good society. We need good education, a good basic education which teaches us to do our job well, mind our own business, have some respect for self and the others, and to love nature and our nation.
If government wants to control the masses, real care and work will be far better than fear, stupidity and propaganda. Love is the best weapon of subjugation.

Dec 10, 2016

Why religion (does not) suck(s)

I had personally rejected societal god when i was in my 12th standard. It was around time of final exams, and with math and biology as my subject, and my preps for medical exams going on it was already tough, and then i fell sick out of nowhere. Math was a subject i both loved and dreaded. I loved trigonometry, algebra, calculus, and hated geometry and arithmetic. Though arithmetic was easy enough. It was always as i got myself immersed in one problem so much that i just lost the track of time. I wanted to study math at my own speed, because the time was never enough, despite knowing the questions i would spend so much time doing one question that i would have no time left. The question was why do we have to resort to rote memorization of formulae, without knowing what is it for. The subjects i hated at that time were organic chemistry and inorganic chemistry because i found them extremely boring.

There was this fat book of Botany MCQs which is used to memorize chapter-wise on a daily basis. And while this heavy work was going on, i fall sick. I think that was the start of my badluck which has never left me since then.

I fell sick, and the stress gets even more terrible for the fear of wasting all my hard work throughout the year. I had worked immensely hard in math, which i had taken just because of the shaming done by a math teacher in my 9th standard. I never wanted to take science, but since i had to take it to become a “doctor”, i’d rather study it well. Life in senior school is like a rat race in India, you do not have time. My school was crappy, but i stuck to it cause it gave me enough freedom to prepare for the entrances.
Now i fall sick, and stress overwhelms me. I was a guy who always minded his own business, i was funny with people who were close to me and was not interested in useless pursuits, except for roaming around the block and smoking cigarettes after the tuitions. I helped guys who asked for help, and was always ready for the same. And i mostly avoided stupid people.

It was here, when my rejection of god began. I was angry on god for many things previously, but it was anger. Just like you get angry on your parents. In 12th, it was rejection. Because in my eyes, god was just, helped good people and punished bad people.

I have never been the kind of person who rejects something without evidence so i started reading heavily. I first started with my own religion, that is, Hinduism. Bhagwad Gita was the first religious book i read. To tell you the truth that is one of the best book i’ve read, and it has the capacity of making you into a feeling psychopath. I read the Bible, and then the Koran. I did not read those books to be able to quote things from them like religious scholars do. I read them to understand them.

In college my thoughts kept developing and i kept thing to myself. During exams while i was in Mangalore i used to go to the temple nearby where i felt extremely peaceful. I studied in a christian school where i played in Christmas skits, where once i was the innkeeper who ousted pregnant Mother Mary, and other times one of the three kings who got gifts for baby Jesus. It was an yearly business where everyone had to participate in some form or the other. Santa Clause used to come filled with cotton and toffees and children used to beat the shit out of him just because he was fluffy.
Most of my friends were Muslims, and i used to go to their houses on Eid and hog on the tasty food their mothers had cooked.

But then when i was in college i became a complete atheist. I thought myself as an religious atheist and started believing in Samkhya philosophy of Hinduism. I never had a problem with Hinduism because whatever you do you can not stop being a Hindu. You can be in ISIS behaeading people and following Shariyah and still be a Hindu. You can reject Hinduism completely and you still will be a Hindu. If you’re born in this world, you’re a Hindu, no matter what religion you follow.

Personally, i like Buddhism as a religion. If i have to be a religious man, i’d be a Buddhist.
Religion is a basically a form of control over the masses and i don’t care if people worship idols to keep themselves happy. I like all Gods equally, and reject them equally too. I don’t care if stupid people are controlled with the fear of a hell. I do not give two hoots about it. As long as my life is peaceful, i am working peacefully, and there is least possible amount of stupidity around me, i can’t care less. It mostly is, but then we have media, and news-papers and journalism. You read the news-paper in the morning and you feel like hanging yourself from the ceiling.

And here, the knowledge of evil becomes necessary. Satanism is the religion of the contemporary world, and higher you go in the social ladder, the more satanic you tend to become. I do not care about sins as long as people are happy. A paralyzed man who has never had sex, and never will because of obvious reasons, if visits a prostitute, i don’t give a shit about it. A low self-esteem girl if she becomes a nymphomaniac to gain some pleasure to herself, i would know that, and still i won’t mind, because fuck that.

If some hippies smoke ganja and listen to reggae without disturbing peace, i won’t go out and judge them just because they’ve rejected the shitty system that we live in.

Our (Indian) education system sucks. All we teach are fat Moral Science books and no tolerence. People say things are not that bad, i know that actually, i am not blind to not to see that. Things are not that bad, mostly because, you are comfortable.

Imagine living in a society where you’re judged for not being a doctor or an engineer. I wanted to be a writer, before that i wanted to be an army-officer and after that i wanted to be a drifting hippie doctor and a scientist. I have the traits of all of them, but i am none of them.

Keep building temples, demolishing mosques, erecting churches and beheading people, and do it all in the name of religion. Because prophets and holy men don’t eat, shit and sleep. I do not trust anyone who eat, shits, sleeps and fucks to give me lessons in morality. Stop doing that for at least an year and then you’ll have me as a disciple for life.

I personally like a few people very much and Dr. Freud, Dr. Guyton, Swami Vivekananda are one of them. I like underdogs who rose beyond all opposition. It is ironical that we teach the percepts of goodness in books and hang a person like Jesus on a cross, or throw a good wife like Sita in live fire.
Religion is good mostly, if we have brains, it gives us peace, support, method and community, but in its current state it sucks, and more than that, we do.

Dec 6, 2016

Why pro-women is (not) anti-feminist

This is a controversial topic, not because it actually is but because it is seldom dealt without prejudice and hate and almost never with logic.

With the amount of stupidity prevailing in the world it is impossible to talk about anything significant without facing militant opposition and that actually makes participation in such thing not-so-worthwhile for an aware yet peace loving individual.

Feminism as an idea is great. Personally i have nothing against it except its extremist form, and the individuals practicing it, commonly known as feminazis.

It is not helping anyone. Anything that functions on fear, doesn’t help. Fear is not a long term solution and it causes retaliation in the longer run. Only proper use for a fear based retaliation is when it is used to attract attention. It was done by Indian revolutionaries when they threw bomb in assembly; it harmed no one but created enough fear to attract attention to their ideas.

Fear based suppression makes your enemies stronger, and thus gets more fear to you in return and ultimately what we get is distraction.

Feminism now a days has become a revenge based philosophy, rather than a development based philosophy.

Feminism is not about making supremacy of females. It is first and foremost about giving women the power to choose whatever they want. It is about making sure that when a girl child or woman want to do something for herself she doesn’t get stopped or loses opportunities just because of her gender.
I respect feminists who want to achieve equality, specially for the women who are really oppressed. Feminism is not about sexuality, it is about freedom and equal rights in everything keeping in mind the natural differences between both genders including their psychology.

Feminism should be scientific. It should be logical, and not based on revenge or the percept that women were oppressed for so long and thus it is the time for supremacy. It will only beget opposition and hate. It should be such that a female has individual choice and power to choose whatever she wants as an individual without being oppressed, judged and receiving jealousy from the members of opposite gender.

In India, or elsewhere for that matter, in good households there was never such an issue. Father ruled outside and mothers ruled inside. Society may be patriarchial but in a good household, women rule their area. They ruled the kitchen and the house, they had the keys of the house, they managed the finances and the fathers respected it. It was a natural order that developed with time just because of the biological differences. Men were hunter-gatherers, they fought other tribes, whereas the women had the responsibility of children, ensuring survival and development and since we are surviving today we know for sure that they performed their duties well.

Times have changed, women have assumed outside-of-the-house roles, and with that inside-of-the-house roles for men have increased and have also become important for proper functioning.
But when an old system changes problems tend to arise. Men have their way of thinking and women have their own. For men it is difficult to give up the things they had been enjoying, and women have this attractive ‘best-of-both-worlds’ hanging in front of them. When we think very clearly, we realize that this is not a problem that feminism can solve. It is an individual issue as much as it is an inter-personal issue between partners.

If i’m a female and i have to sacrifice my job because of my children and my partner can’t, that’s not a feminism issue. It is my fault that i chose such a man. There should be no question of ‘why should i sacrifice’ mostly for the reason because job is a societal construct and motherhood is natural. Children need their mother more than their father, at least in the initial stages of their development. No intelligent mother is stupid to sacrifice her children for the sake of social validation. Here, feminism comes to play a part when she has to undergo damages in her professional life due to motherhood, she should be able to work from home, she should be given laxity for such issues.
Still, men shouldn’t be blamed if they can work more hours, or can’t get pregnant. Lower class women have for centuries worked with their children tied on their backs without complaining that they are not getting equal rights.

When we see the complainers we see a pattern that these whiners are mostly the ones who are more privileged than the ones who actually need help. When you have to work hard for your daily bread you do not have the time to whine.

Some women want to be treated as ladies, which they actually are. There are men who treat women as ladies. Old fashioned people who know each others role in the society. In India one of the most powerful Prime Minister was a woman.
The thing here to understand is that if you are a feminist for revenge, you are not doing any good neither to feminism, nor to women. Feminism needs a neutral and calm mindset. It needs awareness about what is actually right and wrong so that the efforts of upliftment of women do not destroy the society.

If you are a feminist because you are obese, you had daddy issues, you are not beautiful in the conventional sense, or no guy paid attention on you during highschool or college, then, you are not a feminist. You are functioning on hate. First get a clear head. Flush that hate down the toilet and then get ready for upliftment of women.

Power corrupts, and when a woman who has felt oppressed in a patriarchial setting gets power, if she is not sensible enough she will become as oppressive as she had felt it. That is the making of a feminazi.
You do not control hormones of young boys and men, you understand that it is normal till the point it is. You must know the biological differences and empathize that they are naturally programmed to hit on you. You have to kindly let them know that you are not into them. You have to let them know that you are more important than the “pussy” you are carrying and they are just being dicks. You have given birth to them, they are your responsibility, especially when you are ready enough to take the responsibility of all the women in the society.

Dec 5, 2016