The Write Concepts #2

What should be my character as a writer? I recently pondered on this question and have finally come to an answer. I have been blogging since 2010 and writing since even before that. I joined social media to discuss pop culture, philosophy and literature with others and used social media and blogs to vent out my frustrations, rant, show off my creativity like my poetry and short stories and to entertain people with my humour and thoughts. As I gained experience I came to the conclusion that I should write for myself, my pleasure and my creative satisfaction. At some point in my life I had decided that my writing should do three things, it should entertain, it should educate and it should make people feel. Though now I majorly write for my own creative pleasure and satisfaction. I thought about my character as a writer and came to the conclusion that it should have all the experiences I had as a writer, and also as a reader. It should contain all the things I like and the things I care about. I was a difference person a decade ago but when I look at the things I wrote back then, the essence still remains the same. I wanted to help people back then, though the past decade has taught me that you can't really help anyone. In some ways you can, but that's about it. The dynamics of relationships keep changing and life in itself is dynamic. I have seen unfathomable amount of pain in the past decade but that is the thing that makes me man with a solid lore about him. The past one year, I have seriously thought about my writing. I gave up the idea of becoming an author long back when I realised that authors in this country either just privileged and connected individuals or paid propagandists. Now, I'm just a writer who writes for his own pleasure. My writing is a culmination of a lot of things and I decided to keep the basics that I started with. I have my writings since I started writing, except some which I lost, and I know what has changed and what has not, and I'm glad that the essence of my writings has remained the same despite the tribulations I have faced in the past decade. 

Newspeak

You had a vast internal life, until it was decimated. It's 1984, only that it is being perpetuated by depraved idiots. It was a great time when you could plan your novel and you didn't know that writing it was futile. You still write, but only what is important. You may still write your novels, ideas of two of them are in your head fully formed but you don't think you'd ever publish them. In the past decade you have realised that an uneventful life is privilege which doesn't happen but is actually dispensed to the privileged otherwise it's exploitation, rape and sadism along with murder running amok in the background and since all of this is invisible it is passed off as fate or the God's will. You don't want to publish because you know that it won't make a difference, people think what they want to think, and what is aligned to their interests, as far as books being a source of entertainment goes, that time has gone. It's the time of short form content, people entertaining other people, and (pardon me!) only idiots (like me) read books anymore. This country is not even trying to hide shit anymore. People on social media like YouTube and X are either paid propagandists or have been groomed since the start to dispense propaganda. The film industry, especially the Hindi language one, makes movies for the cattle class and to delude them, good movies are a thing of past, remember truly entertaining movies of Hrishikesh Mukherjee and David Dhawan and the likes. It's anyway time of the OTT. What is is an ultimate win for a novelist? That his novel is adapted for film. It happened to Harry Potter, Twilight, Hunger Games, Godfather and countless others. But what if the very act writing and creating, and even making films becomes irrelevant and just remains for deluding the masses hiding it behind the facade of entertaining them? The world has changed a lot in the past decade, and mostly due to social media. You had your Tumblr where you saved your inspirations for your creativity, you had your own creative world, until it was destroyed for no reason. You realised that 1984 was no fiction and if anything it was an understatement. You realise that and all film, all books become meaningless. You stopped watching films, except for superhero movies because they are childhood habit, but you still read books, though now you read them as another person's perceptions of reality and their approaches to deal with them. You know what the reality is, at least in this country, sex and money, power has already been established. It's sex and money, and sex comes first because it's a man's world quite literally, women and other men and sex slaves and slaves respectively. Do not fall for the bullshit but be able to play along while they sings songs of virtues, sacrifice, compassion, welfare, harmony, coexistence and bullshit like that. It's a curfew out here along with a stampede where everyone is running covering their asses to not to get sodomised by God's grand plan. There are no novels to be written, just resources to be gathered to keep one's loved ones safe, as long as one can.

No Pole Shangri-La

The world is about people and politics. There is no world about politics, but there is an Earth with all its nature, beautiful and terrifying creatures that exists independent of the politics. The world affects the earth, it degrades its beauty and exploits its resources. It's about money and resources. But what is it ultimately about? It's about power over others, it's about dominance. You didn't think that with all the bullshit about piousness and sin, heaven and hell, festivals, pilgrimages, education, earning money, playing roles, raising families, parenting, acquiring enough real estate to pass it on to progeny things would be this simple, did you? We live in a world where suffering travels from top to bottom. A slight inconvenience at top travels and becomes a matter of life and death at the bottom. You know what acts as an amplifier? Entitlement. Just that a bunch of megalomaniacal assholes failed to raised their kids right. Maybe they did not fail to raise their kids right, maybe they raised their kids right. You know why, because power and dominance is one true God. And the God everyone talks about is a smokescreen for exploitation. Though the God we all confide in helps us too, because it helps us go through the suffering and of course He is the one we confide in when we suffer, but here is the catch, the suffering itself is because we believe in the smokescreen that is God. It takes just a bit of practice to live without God, though it is neither recommended nor is it necessary, you know why? Because God is an idea, and ideas are powerful. Ideas are powerful enough to, forget changing the world as it cannot be changed due to megalomaniacal dogs pissing on poles to mark their territories, change the physiology of a person. God can heal. And here you shouldn't make fun of a Catholic who believes that Christ is the saviour, a Hindu who believes that Hanuman grants him strength. Buddhists know that the world is suffering that it's all Dukkha, though only when compared to tranquility of Shambhala. The real Shangri-La is inside you, if the dogs pissing on poles let you find it. They want you to suffer which is actually fine, but wait till you realise why they want you to suffer. Just so that you buy things you don't need to drown that suffering. Just so that you don't learn to not to take baits. Because Shambhala inside you doesn't have electric poles these dogs can piss on to mark their territories. 

Anchor Being

You sit in your room suffering the divine punishment. There are a lot of movies, specially comic book movies on the concept of multiverse. You feel that you have been teleported to a whole another timeline because your timeline got destroyed and became non-existent because of your sins. You feel that now you are in a world where everything is the same as the world you were before, all the people, all the places, all the things, just that you have the blame of destroying one whole reality, one whole timeline in the universe. What would be psychological impact on someone of being responsible of sending more than 8 billion people and the earth with all its nature and everything else into a state of non-existence? Similar thing happened to you when you felt that it is because of your sins that the world suffered a catastrophic pandemic. What would be the effect on someone if they are responsible for deaths of millions around the globe. Here is the total, death of billions plus one whole world and reality and timeline and then millions due to a pandemic in a new world. And who is responsible for it all? You. How should be the retaliation of someone who is responsible for all these things, just try to imagine. It's funny because this country doesn't work on peace and forgiveness and retaliation is law, sometime retaliation is done for things that are not even in existence. The divine punishment has been for really silly things, and that makes you feel that God in this country is very moody. People can rape, extort, exploit and murder and yet the divine punishment strikes the one who meddles in no one's busines and sits quietly in a corner with his issue of Debonair. Very recently you came across the concept of an anchor being. It is a being on which the fate of whole of his timeline or reality depends. And probably he should be more responsible, more than he already is. Maybe you were the anchor being for the timeline that got erased due to your sins. You should've been more responsible. But actually you couldn't be and hence you triggered a global pandemic that took the lives of millions. The fun part of it all? All of this can be really true. Does megalomania have a cure? Probably not. Delusions galore, it seems. Is it madness? Not really if you know that this shit isn't real, though if Big Bang is possible, this can be too. God really decided to make the whole world your enemy, and if he can make the world just by wishing he sure can do this too. You shake hands with God and ask whether it was Him. To this He replies that He has been dead for quite a while now.

Eon

The sun was setting in the horizon. He looked at his watch. It was time to go back. The neurological torture was getting intense. It had been sixteen years since he was being neurologically tortured for no reason. It was like this here. Someone has to suffer and it was him. He started walking back to his 1BHK apartment. His mind felt as if it was trapped in a web. He felt as if he would be tortured for eons. He had asked his computer how long is an eon and it had told him that it was one billion years. He wondered if someone can hate somebody to curse them with unbearable torture for one billion years? Then he realized that such people are not empathetic. They are short sighted and look for short term gains. In this case the gain is pleasure derived from his pain. Can it be revenge? It can be. If it is so then it is for an imaginary offense. As he has clearly remembers that he has never offended anyone in his life. It can be jealousy too. How jealous one has to be to curse someone for a torture of one billion years, he thinks to himself. The torture is terrible and unbearable and yet he has learned to live with it. He remembers the Mother Goddess when the torture crosses all limits. He knows that there is no God and yet he believes in the Mother. The mother traverses all time and space and he prays to her in her had to give him space in the void. It doesn’t matter she exists or not, it never did. He reached home and starts making dinner for himself. One less day in one billion years.

Night-blooming Jasmine

You create worlds. That's what you do. You don't do it for a living, you just do it because it is your hobby. How long can a created world last? It actually depends. See this one. A forest in the moonlit night fragrant with the scent of night-blooming jasmines where streams sparkling with the moonlight flow and apsaras from heaven come down to the earth and dance. How long can this world last? This is a tough question but an easy answer to this question is that it would last as much as the one reading it likes it. If it makes an impression on him or her it might last his or her lifetime in the memory. I have always been a proponent of reality, but the truth is that reality is unbearable and thus we need delusions and one of the best forms of delusions is fantasy. I consider the worst case scenario as a reality. It might not be so, as logic would tell us that both the best case scenario and the worst case scenarios are realities and so are the things in the middle, but that's just how I see things. The worst case scenario is not something that is for the faint hearted, because there is no end to the worst in this world. Things can go from bad to worse to worst and then this worst can keep going on infinitely. I wanted to experience what I thought to be reality and for that I stripped myself of all the delusions. Not that I had suffered less before I decided to strip myself of delusions and experience what I actually thought of reality, but I did it anyway. Here, now, I stand at the edge of the world finally realising that the abyss is unending. The abyss is shallow and yet so deep that it is unending. You get to the edge of the world and if you know yourself or are lucky enough to get to know yourself things get better no matter how deep and unending the abyss is. If is strange isn't it, a rock in an infinite space where life grows like fungus powered by a ball of fire. That's how simple things are. We think that pain makes us suffer, the truth, however, is that it's love. It is love that makes us suffer. But suffering for love is totally worth it. Otherwise one would become a beast, actually even worse than beasts. I stripped myself of delusions, paid the price for it, and realised that paying price for the truth is worth it. It's one hundred percent worth it especially after realising how shallow the truth is. You see the people and you see no one is bothered about the eternal hell that is waiting for them, if it actually is. Those who are bothered about the eternal hell suffer hell here on earth. If you create worlds then it doesn't matter, cause you can create worlds for yourself, in this very world which is hell on earth. The night-blooming jasmine spreading its fragrance in the moonlit night and the water flowing in the streams sparkling in moonlight is enough to counter the effect of this hell on earth called reality. 

Economy of Aesthetics

The mountains stand in the winter with their snow capped peaks. There was a world once. A world of beauty and serenity. People were deluded but in a good way. But then who wants to be deluded? No one, and very unfortunately the reality is not such that people can afford remaining delusional. Some of them compensate the comfort of reality by being hypocrites. Other have chosen the unforgiving reality on the expense of becoming beasts. Though these people who are adapting to the reality by becoming beasts are not the real beasts, the real beasts are those who are knowingly and intentionally making the reality unlivable and who exploit the delusions of the innocents. Ignorance is bliss but this bliss is not worth it when it directly endangers your survival, though once the delusion is broken one either becomes a robot or a beast. Just one of the two. The world is not a place to become a hero. And this is because heroes pay a heavy price. All one can do is choose a few people that one loves and try surviving on a day to day basis as the real beasts who control the reality keep throwing challenges to overcome. The good thing here is that the beauty doesn't stop existing even when one's delusions are broken, yes the focus shifts to the ugliness which has been spread knowingly, and on the survival but beauty stays and to enjoy it one just have to shift the focus from the ugliness to the beauty that is present in the world. The serenity still exists but you have to win it. Let's discuss a world where people get their happiness by depriving others of mere basics. Let's take example of a simple thing, like a pizza. How many people would be happy enjoying eating their pizza while depriving others from eating a pizza brought from their own hard earned money. Who decides who deserves to use escalators in shopping malls and who doesn't. This is the truth of, if not this world, than this country. A whole setup is in place in which individuals deprive people from eating pizzas from their own hard earned money while eating theirs. There is a whole setup dedicated to decide who deserves to use mall escalators and who doesn't. This setup works because the individuals who are employed in this structure gain their dopamine from depriving, torturing and discriminating with others. Sadism on the helpless produces same effect in their brains as a drug produces in the brain of a drug addict. Law here is just an arrangement to trap people and waste their time. Once you know this arrangement you realise that the real perpetrators of anything are never caught. The one's who get caught are just sacrificial lambs, the sacrificial lambs who ultimately become beasts for survival in the society. There is nothing that is unplanned. Everything, every monstrosity, every ugliness is planned, or if not, it surely can be made right and corrected. Once you know this truth you are free of delusions and you realise that life is just a videogame in which the beasts in control keep throwing challenges at you and you have to keep overcoming them and keep surviving. This is hell and you have to not only build your own corner of heaven in this hell but also protect it from recurrent onslaught of demons who would continuously try to ruin your heaven. Flowers still smell nice. The rain still feels good when you are at home on a holiday. The deodar trees on the mountains still look majestic. There is still beauty, and existence of this beauty is reason enough to keep going on. 

Slaughterhouse 91

Things didn't have to be this simple but actually they are. Life becomes about overcoming your traumas that you gathered growing up. You see you traumas and you give a chuckle. You laugh because you know exactly what your problems are. Not everybody knows what's exactly wrong with them, but you know it and thus all your life's traumas become ineffective in influencing your decisions. You see old men and women going on teerthyatras. Pious people who are fulfilling their traditions without questioning them. You see old people confiding in God. You see old pious women sitting in general compartments of the train going to visit temples without a question and doubt in their minds. You compare it with the truth of this country which is fleecing and exploiting others. The issue is not that exploitation is the truth of this country, but that it is systematic and is present at the deepest and the highest level. That individuals having God like powers over other are not only corrupt but criminal too, and the worst thing of all is that they are idiots too. The bike rides to a chai tapri where an old woman serves you tea with kindness doesn't hit with the same force as it did before. The pious teerthyatris who actually believed in God have been replaced by the new generation which is practical and is rightly so as this country has been turned into a circus in which you have to be constantly be on you toes otherwise you'd be sodomised. Money is everything, which it actually is not and shouldn't be but it has been made to be everything and it is everything because it is the most basic things that is required for survival and thus it becomes everything. It is the thing on basis of which families are broken and relationships destroyed. Again the issue is not that money is everything but the level at which it is everything. The goal seems to be making people beasts, to deprive people of basic human experience below a certain threshold of existence. How many people believe in loyalty today? It is because virtues are being done away with in a systematic manner. All that remains is survival and greed. People are being baited by showing them comforts and pleasures, baiting the inherent greed in them. They are being made incapable of feeling higher emotions like loyalty and compassion and those who feel these emotions suffer the consequences. All that remains is to get baited and seek comfort and pleasure while real happiness, that doesn't require much money but just enough for survival and security, has been snatched away from people. It's a slaughter house where pious old women and men going to teerthyatras are last relics of a past soon to get extinct.  

Ganarajya 2030

The diary of psychiatrist, Raman Raghav:

It’s the year 2030, an invisible government controls minds and bodies of people by nanotechnolgy given to them by mandatory vaccination. The nanotechnology given through vaccines travels through the bloodstream and lodges itself in the brain and establishes complete control on a persons motor and sensory functions. The brain and the body can be possessed and the consciousness can be hijacked. The real government of the country is just for show. The actual setup is of neuropolitical slavery and is populated with discriminatory rapists and extortionists who rape and murder people based on their whims. They design the lives of people, groom them, exploit them, rape them and finally murder them. They target boys and girls from good families and after possessing their minds and bodies lead them astray. They save the memories and consciousness of people on a cloud and later use them to manipulate and blackmail people. They play long and elaborate games with the lives of people and derive sadistic pleasure from humiliation, deprivation and torture of people. It’s a slavery setup and it’s all neuropolitical. The nation is effectively criminal syndicate where good people are exploited, tortured and raped with the help of neurotechnolgy. They sow seeds of suspicion and mistrust among family members and other relationship. The country is in a state of undeclared curfew because people can’t communicate with each other and those who can, their relationships become a victim of neurological sabotage. Victim blaming and shaming are rampant and rapists and extortionists have access to minds, bodies and thus the lives of people. All kinds of discrimination like casteism, classism and religion and even economic discrimination is propagated at the level of mind and nerves. It’s a anarcho-tyranny in actions and women are just spoils, sex objects and child producing machines. The country has invariably been turned into gulag, which probably it always was.

Word Salad #1

It starts getting out of control. The universe is still expanding after the big bang. Or its it really so? Maybe God created the world in six days, rested on the seventh and then said "let their be light." Maybe the universe evolved from hiranyagarbha. You can't be sure of shit anymore. But you know that there are machine guns, fighter planes and bombs and deadly viruses which you aren't sure we're released as a drastic measure of population control or it really got released. Shit is really out control. It's like sand slipping out of hands. It slowly slip out of your hands, you feel it as it slips out of your handa and then before you know it, all of it slips from your hands. The madness is intense or something like that you tell yourself. Shiva dances in his rage and a new consciousness gets created. A wormhole opens between the earth and moon and you don't know where does it lead, a distant part of universe, heaven, hell, or maybe a different universe altogether. Life is all about extreme options, you would save your family or the world? The idealist would save the world. The realist would save the family. And an idealist who knows the actual truth of the world would save his family again. The world can't really be saved. Light has for long meant good and dark, bad. Truth is that night is the time when predators come out for hunt. It is when they can see and others cannot. How does man see. He sees from knowledge. It's unfortunate that predators now have become farmers. They grow their prey, and then they hunt it for pleasure, who the fuck hunts crops? Some do. It hasn't yet gone out of control actually, but it would. Soon. It's happening. And you see it coming. It's God who made predators, it's him who gave them the power to hunt and it is this power that ultimately made the predators farmers. Big Bang means shit. The one stealing a loaf of bread is hanging on townsquare. Is it mediaeval times? Yes. They were never gone. You thought you'd see flying cars? They might be there soon. No technology for a flying loaf of bread that gets into the mouth of the hungry. Planning a heist is cool, stealing out of sheer hunger is not. Is it getting out of control? Russian roulette is out of control? Only for the one who is forced to play it, and only if he is not well versed in probability. 

Airstrip 420

How predictable it could have been? It's disappointing even if the setup is individualised for you. You recently came across the term tyranno-anarchy and you think it's the most suitable term for the setup in this country. You know shit is political when they threaten you with raping women in your family. It's mindless rape and exploitation, just a bunch of entitled assholes going around raping and exploiting people and destroying families just based on their whims. How funny is it when people believe in religious cosmology and these motherfuckers here use neurotechnology to snoop on people, manipulate their lives, sabotage their relationships and sources of income. It was mind boggling to see that the so called respected religious figureheads are in on this mass scale genocide, rape and exploitation (add neurological thievery and extortion too) which people believe to be God's will or fate. You consider yourself lucky, because in the childhood itself you saw the microcosm of the real nature of the world. The takeaway is: if you trust people in this country, you'd be fucked in the ass. The most fun part of it all would be knowing how it all evolved, especially when these motherfuckers until a few decades ago were licking the boots of the British. You are no renaissance man, and you had no business in all this. You have no idea what incited this much hatred towards you and made these motherfuckers chase you for more than a decade but the pattern has been quite consistent, inducing guilt and exploiting that guilt. There are many methods that have been used, and they do not require any skill other than being an absolute scum of the earth. These motherfuckers think that they can "punish" some one for shit that they imagined, the truth however is that you got to be deserving to punish someone. And anyway it's not a punishment when sadism is involved. Sadism and depravity is the mainstay of this arrangement. A lot of time went by in disbelief of how incompetent these motherfuckers are, despite having access to all the knowledge of the world and the brains that produce it. The threshold was pretty low. The intelligence establishment of this country becomes redundant after realisation of this structure, and you really hope that it's not the government. 

Demon Nation

You want to be that guy, a guy with a motorcycle, going and sitting at the temple of the Mother and writing literature. You have seen the guys with romantic perspectives and aesthetics you saw them get lost in the raids of the uncouth. Finer sensibilities do not matter. The first thing you lost, was your honour, though honour is a thing that is personal too and it is not lost unless you compromise with your codes and ideals. The damage dealt to you was and is of insane levels. They have ruined everything. It's a large scale exploitation and genocide that is going on and the culture is getting raped. Someone is responsible for all this. Who is it, it cannot be known but the ones who are responsible for it know who they are. No one must live in peace, seems to be the motto, no one but them. You remember the Buddha, either he was a coward of the highest order, or he was not. When you live in the world enough, you realise that life is not all Dukkha, not for everyone. It is Dukkha for the majority which the few in power inflict on them. Buddha was one of the few in power, isn't it. You understand the disenchantment though. You really get it. It's the modern times. The times of artificial intelligence and space exploration. Though after what you have come to know and realise, it doesn't really matter. When people's minds and bodies are enslaved forever, exploration of the universe doesn't really matter and actually it's not even the enslavement of the mind and the body. It is the kind of absolute scum that have access to them. Each of them is a standalone entitled genocidal rapist. A normal human being, in this country at least is an automaton of flesh and bones with his relationships mapped, continuously being pumped fear, continuously baited, being manipulated day and night by pumping of preset vibes. The motherfuckers doing this aren't even intelligent enough. The thing that boggled your mind is how low the threshold for being perpetually tortured in this country is. You don't even have to do anything. It can be explained all of it but it is so pathetic that it's better to spare you of that. You know what you want to be, and you know you want to be that because that it's what you actually are. A guy sitting in the temple of the Mother, with his bike parked outside, writing literature. 

Mitigated Hubris

You get your room in hell and you decorate it like an interior designer would do to a newly constructed house. What is the requirement to get a room in hell? In this country it's not much. The thing one should remember here is no matter how worse the conditions become you must always be thankful and you must always respect, no, not those who deserve respect, but the ones who exploit and torture you. Hell, here, just like homeopathic medicine, is individualised. What does a writer want? Just a hell to write about. There are two narratives in your head, one is your real-life narrative and one narrative of your serendipitously discovered alter-ego. The alter-ego knows shit. And he knows a lot of shit. The setup is pretty direct and not very complex. You study and through that study you earn money, or you have skills and through those skills you earn money. A structure works tirelessly to prevent you from studying or gaining skills, and if it fails in that it prevents you from earning money, directly. Why money, because money is the currency of survival. You know shit and you get disappointed because when you know shit you realise that humanity is controlled and those who control it have reduced it to a mere economic system when it is way more than that. But humanity being more than an economic system doesn't mean anything to the autocratic, despotic and tyrannical assholes that control the people and society. The control is direct. You don't know what is the concept of directness in people's head but when you say direct, you mean direct, like the control of a remote controlled car or a robot through a remote. How did you end up here? You don't know. You have kept the room in hell comfortable for now. But the walls keep closing in and as things are going you are bound to get crushed between the walls. Your performance has been great. You have wrestled with impossibility and it's not about winning or losing anymore. One invariably knows what the result of wrestling with impossibility is. You are just having fun. You see life in retrospect and now you have a bird eye view of all that has happened. It's the same individuals who show people dying of starvation, food, and then snatch it away from them, eating all kinds of delicacies in front of them. These are the same individuals whose brains release dopamine when they deprive and inflict sadism and cruelty on the most helpless of people. Unfortunately for them, you were not helpless, not even when you are alone. And thus you lived to tell the tale. You attended God's funeral. And after that you got busy decorating your room in hell. A whole decade of orientation with hell and you come to realise that all of these dreamweaving assholes are idiots. Corruption and depravity is the concrete mix which builds their empire and they are so high and so deep that possibility of God becomes negligible and yet when you were attending the funeral of God, you saw how whole trees grow from seeds, how deers have antlers, how tigers have claws, how fishes have fins and gills and how humans have intellects and you realise that God is not dead, He or She just doesn't bother. It's upon the deer to run faster than the tiger, to use his antlers to counter the claws of the tiger. The walls are closing in, but you realise that it is a contraption not made by God but by human demons who use the name of God like a remote control. It's hot, a bead of sweat trickles down from your forehead towards your eye only to get trapped by your eyebrows. Did God make the eyebrows or was it evolution? Who made evolution then? The salmon doesn't complain getting hunted by the bear, neither is it thankful of escaping the claws of the bear. And you know enough now to not be thankful for anything, except to other humans who have helped you, that, in fact is basic human decency. 

Brain Rot Structure

Two simultaneous narratives going on in your head. One is you and the other is the writer. It can be said that the writer's narrative is a compulsion, while it is not so, one has to suffer the consequences of having an alter-ego. Creativity comes with its own side-effects. The fun part is that people get away with a lot, but you couldn't get away with a simple unintended shit. The truth also is that people lose their dignity and their lives for trivial shit so you know in which category of the two you actually belong to. You took your alter-ego and merged him with the writer. Is this what schizophrenia is? Skhizein (split) phren (mind)? You know the etiology. Shit seems familiar, like a chapter in Kaplan and Sadock. Shit has been consistent with your prognosis, but how mind-blowing it all becomes when you realise that everyone is lying. It's not the mind, or not the mind only. It's also a bunch of idiots moonlighting as authority. You realise that it's not schizophrenia, even though the neurological symptoms say otherwise. The fun part? It's not the sins, it's the virtues. And it is here that you realise that this country, if not the world, is controlled by genocidal exploiters. A lot of techniques are used, like magnifying the vices and minification of a person's good qualities, leaving only bad choices for a person to choose from and other techniques. One readily realises that it is slavery after knowing the scope of this arrangement. The neurological component of it all is very interesting, and it's hard to know that the neurological detriment is caused naturally due to the mind and thoughts of a person or it is induced. All of it is political and all of it is slavery. There is nothing more to know about it. The writer has assimilated the alter-ego which was merely an expression of what the environment allowed. It's great to know that it was not fear. Though now there seems no point in becoming a writer except for writing privately for deriving creative pleasure. 

Elopement

Sitting in the car, she lights a cigarette. He looks at her, taking in her perfume. It's night time and the car speeds on the expressway. His mind is reeling with thoughts. He knows that they can't escape. It is their fate. But they had to give it a try. There is no driving into the sunset here. He signals her for the cigarette. She passes it to him. He takes a deep puff, his eyes fixated on the road. He knows that both their nervous systems are relaying their whereabouts to The Structure. They worked as neurological saboteurs for The Structure. Until they met and fell in love with each other. Saboteurs are not allowed to have relationships and so they are escaping, despite knowing that they won't be able to escape even if they go to the edge of the earth. They have destroyed many lives and it is the first time they have a shot at a life similar to the lives they have destroyed, at least theoretically. The Structure has employed people on them, they can tell from their thoughts, but it is The Structure itself that taught them psycho-neurological warfare and how to defend themselves against it. Love is a stupid thing and that's a thing they both know since forever, and yet love made them want a normal life. The car is zooming on the expressway. This journey is all they have got. They have got cash and they know that The Structure would have frozen their bank accounts by now. The irony of wanting a normal life isn't lost on them but they have a normal life, till the tires keep moving and the cash isn't spent. 

Malicious Anarchy

Reality has a way of breaking people. Winter wonderlands have been decimated, since how long, it's not known. In the worst case scenario one has to pay for each of his thoughts and memories. This payment however depends on a structure of right and wrongs. These write and wrongs are stratified and the definitions of right and wrongs change in every strata. The funny thing? Those who apply these sets of right and wrong are not only beyond it but also make the people do think and do wrong and then they take the payment for it. A thought is first inserted into the person and then that person is tortured for having that thought. When this happens to a person one can safely conclude that this is happening because these individuals hate the individuality of that person. And why do they hate it? They hate it because of issues in themsleves and not the person who is being tortured. Since all this excercise is majorly social in nature, one can safely conclude that it is direct slavery worse than any slavery that has existed in the history. The person who is being tortured for his individuality, it is not necessary that he is wrong. These individuals torture people for things as simple as them not liking a person's face. The reasons people are tortured in this land are very simple, they hate a handicapped person for being handicapped, a rape victim for getting raped and then they torture them. What can be the psychology behind this? One reason is pure sadism, relishing in the pain of others and choosing targets that can't really retaliate. The other reasons can be of aesthetic nature and since the disabled ruin the aesthetics of the land by merely existing they torture them. As far as rape victim goes they defile the purity of the land by getting raped (as they must have done something to deserve it) and thus they deserve to be raped again and again. What are rapist not targeted, because these individuals are themselves rapists. It boggles your mind once you see the setup. This is the absolute reality of this land, and no winter wonderlands can save it, in fact they might stop existing at all. It is all not that hard to decode once you overcome the disbelief that this kind of a setup exists at the deepest and highest level of humanity in this land. Getting over the disbelief is the hardest part though.

Simple Plan

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions." Where does being genuinely obedient, respectful and loyal take you? In a pretty mathematical system which works on easy targets first it doesn't take you to a good place. Who are the easy targets? Those who are conscientious, moral, those who fear God, those who accept their mistakes readily and those who compensate and are ready to be punished for any wrong that they have done. The main strength of those who exploit is total absence of moral fabric and huge ego, self-centredness, self-interest. These individuals do not think twice about torturing, destroying and ending lives of people for their personal gains, and these gains can be anything, from monetary gains, to pleasure. The situation is so bad that these individuals rape and murder people for their whims, and for sadistic and depraved pleasure. Exploitation is anyway systematic. How easy did it have to be to comprehend? Take this example, an individual indulging in pedophilia with a girl of a family whose members live a pious life and pray twice a day. Things are so easy for these individuals that they rape, exploit, extort and then the murder the person to whom they have done these things. These are the kind of individuals who are in the structure that actually control this land. The stories you see in the news are just fillers. They do everything based on their personal whims. They don't like someone's face they kill him, and his family. Or if he is unlucky they make elaborate plans to frame him and destroy him little by little. Manners can be taught, but class can't be. From the looks of it, it looks like all the uneducated contractors and criminals who used to exploit people finally gained the ultimate power. It was not a difficult thing to deduce after you get the real picture of the setup. God is nowhere here. If they were educated enough they could have made the setup finer and given how fine the indigenous religion is, they could have made it better, but no, because the whole focus is on rape, extortion, exploitation, torture and murder. These individuals are addicted to the dopamine released from rape and genocide. The bottom tier of this hierarchy randomly picks the most helpless people and perpetually rapes and tortures them and their souls all in the name of purity, morality, social conventions, religion and God when the only motivations they have are sadistic and depraved pleasure and money and resources. It's the ultimate slavery and you get born and suffer till the end. The issue is not this however. The issue is how absolutely criminal and depraved these assholes are and how they have access and control of minds and bodies of people who are way better than them. The most fun part of it would be if it turns out to be the government. 

Predetermined Analysis

Heaven is made up of bundles of notes stacked together as bricks. It's the standard heaven but not the real heaven. Some have seen the real heaven. There have been and there are real heavens but at the pace arsonists are burning the real heavens, one can doubt if there would be any left in the coming times. Access to information is of prime importance. But those who don't have access to even basic literacy can't understand this fact. What is the difference between some who love knowledge and others who have access to pop culture homegrown and western. The ones who love knowledge are made to pay interest on the differential between their knowledge and the information of those who have had access to pop culture both homegrown and western, why? Because pop culture is brought from money. The game turns a thrilling turn when the same process is done to a person after obliterating his memory. Setup is quite simple, and yet it didn't have to be, but it is. You like transgressive fiction because it belies the hypocrisy of this society. You had your doubts about writing transgressive fiction because you are a winter wonderland kind of a guy and you wanted to write winter wonderland stories. Warm stories. But what to do about all the truth you see on a daily basis? So you thought of a plan. Being transgressive exactly when you need to be. It's a technique, here is an example. A guy, a lovable guy, meets your protagonist in the middle of the story, helps him with everything, saves him, fights with him, and all of a sudden with quick shotgun burst his brains are splattered on the wall and he is never mentioned ever after that. That's how you intent and do use transgressive fiction in your stories, it might look that it is for shock value but it actually reflects how life is treated in this land. This is just one technique. You can use others that are there, or make your own. It's been more than a decade, and you realise that what you should have understood at once, took you a decade to understand. It's only because the issue was understanding the mode of delivery. Once that is taken care of, things become way too easy to understand and on slight retrospection things come flashing in front of your eyes with the actual meaning. Have you seen a particular piece of entertainment? When did you see it? Did you see it on pirated media or you actually bought it? Did you have enough money to buy it when you see it. Do you deserve to see it? Delusions have no answers. Especially delusions which actually have all the answers have no answers. How simple is shit. Just like the nice dude whose brain got splattered on a wall, you see your memories splattered on a wall for apes sitting on platforms to decipher. 

Homeless Homeful

You were about to have the taste of freedom. Home was a great place back then. Today, anywhere you are is home. You carry around your home now, in your head. You are comfortable. The taste of freedom you had left a bad taste in your mouth. Before freedom left a bad taste in your mouth, a very long before, you had a home, it's still there but you have a home in your head too. You have two homes now. You thought you can be an antihero? Nah! You were born to be a hero. Antihero is not your cup of tea. Antiheroes are grey, in fact they come in different shades of grey. You thought you can be an antihero, it's not actually possible. You have seen how demonic humans can be, and you are sure that you can't see worse than what you have already seen. You know that you can't be proven wrong in this regard. You have already seen the worst. The freedom was elusive, and this freedom came just before the actual freedom. This freedom was the realisation of slavery. The actual freedom arrived just sometime after that when you salvaged your soul from the ruins of your dreams and ideals. It all could happen because you had a home, a real home. How unfortunate those must be who didn't have a real home? The home in your head is growing in its size. It's getting bigger and better. The best part, it cannot be destroyed even if the real home is destroyed you'd have a home, you would have a home wherever you go. It's been a very funny drama going on since long. You have been seeing these theatricals since quite sometime now. It's funny, it's hilarious. You know the good news? Soul exists. Not sure about the ghost kind of soul, but soul in the sense of totality of your essence exists. The consciousness can be hijacked by the ones who own and sell things, but they can't hijack the soul. Sure, they can fool it once or twice, or if you are too kind a few more times, but that's about it. This soul of yours helps you reclaim a part of your hijacked consciousness even if reclaiming your full consciousness is not possible. It's been great, reclaiming the part of your salvageable consciousness. It's been great watching this land doing striptease on the pole of shameless abuse of power. You have seen culture being preserved in the most uncultured ways possible. You have seen unfathomable cruelty being inflicted on people in the name of destiny and fate. Probably being an antihero is possible. In ways only you would know. Home now is just now real estate. And that's why you now carry your home in your head. 

No Holds Barred

You hold yourself back, from everything, because of some reasons. Is there a point in holding yourself back. There actually isn't but then you have your reasons for holding yourself back. The resolution has finally come. Is it about purity? Purity is just an excuse. Is it about sins? They too, unfortunately, are mere excuses. What stops you now? Nothing. The good thing about the world of wildflowers and their scent is that it exists or it can exist. The best part is that you can now explore the world of wildflowers after experiencing reality, in fact not only this world but numerous other worlds. And these worlds, the world of wildflowers and others, are more fun after experiencing the real reality. The best part about experiencing the real reality is that you are left with no delusions, about the reality and its nature. It depends on the definition of reality though. For you the reality is the bottomline. When you have seen hell, scented and enchanting forests become way better and more beautiful. Some worlds are lost forever and they won't be coming back, but they can always exist in the mind, the memory and the imagination. You are on a mission to salvage lost worlds. It's not that serious of a mission, kind of just a hobby as you know that world can't be saved, by anyone. It has rotten beyond redemption, and all one can do is salvage little parts of it and keep them as relics. Shit is hyperreal at present but you have dealt with it. It's not a good kind of hyperreality, it's the worst case scenario of reality and of the humanity but unfortunately it is what is actually real. Not being acquainted to it is being delusional. You are not delusional, in fact you never were but especially now. There is no holding back now. Worlds would be preserved, they would be created. The wildflowers would bloom from the manure of the shit of reality. 

Hubris Roleplay

How does it feel to be absolutely free? It feels great. You have been feeling this beautiful feeling since quite some time now. It didn't really take much effort to achieve this freedom. It just took dismantling a few delusions and consistent dismantling of new ones until they stopped to matter. It was just a little work but the rewards were great. One thing to know is that what actually matters would never stop mattering. But only if it actually matters. This is a beautiful thing to realise if you have the context required. The thing to know is that the earth is beautiful, the world is shit, and when you find the heaven inside you even the worst of hells can't deter you from your path. You have seen hell and you have enjoyed it. Guantanamo can be home delivered and there is no reason required for that delivery. Ever seen someone with punchable face? Imagine someone for whom you are the punchable face. You have not done anything except having a punchable face in their eyes, so they decide to murder your whole family, yes, just for having a punchable face, and that too just according to them. I think this is the most lucid explanation that can be. This is exactly what this country is. You know what the problem is? Only the good people suffer. And why do they suffer? Because they fear. They fear everything, and most of all they fear God and hell and because of this they live in hell whole of their lives. I have seen hell of this place, it's pathetic. It's not some five star biblical hell, it's the literal equivalent of shady corners of the metro station where you see lowlifes masturbating to girls passing by, believe me, this is what the Indian hell is, unfortunately it is also the standard body that governs the lives of people in this country. You have seeked God, there wasn't any. You have seeked pleasure and there is a lot. Pain you have been gifted and that too the worst kind of it. What you haven't done is seeking pleasure on the expense of another person. But that's not how it works here. You gotta participate in crabs in the bucket game while you are here. Here, whole families get murdered if someone doesn't like your face, that's how it works here. The entitlement is really odd for a place which was enslaved just some decades ago. But entitlement like the population of hamsters grows very fast. You watch this shitshow you became a part of for no reason. It's pathetic but then you have no other option other then watching it unfold. You have watched all of it for long and the thread of exploitation has been continuous, you just didn't know that even God is complicit in it. Unfortunately He is. You have found the heaven inside you and it's been great finding it. You realise that not everyone can find it, because as someone wise had said "there are two types of people in the world." So what's the current status? You have found the heaven within you, Guantanamo as well as hell is being home delivered to you, you are absolutely free, and you have free tickets for this shitshow of idiocy and incompetence. Reminds you of a Batman comic, "life couldn't be better."

Mint and Choco chip

You read a popular novel and you are in a train. Was that supposed to be your life? Things started from being tragic and ended up being hilarious. You could see and appreciate the real setup and that's great. Probably it all depends where your server is located. Makeshift arrangements are required if something is not applicable on someone and yet it has to be applied on him. Jealousy for no reason is off the charts. Is it really jealousy? It seems so. What else could be when in the whole story there is none of your business? What is the eligibility for someone to get possessed? There might be some eligibility for him not being able to enjoy trips, weekends and his hobbies. There might be some eligibility for him to be accompanied on every trip. As much as the system is understood the reason seems to be very primal. What makes him stand out? To make him feel humiliated in front of idiots when he went over to this side of paradise? Was he himself in this side of paradise? He most definitely was, the arrangement that was made was retrospective. All questions die down when the arrangement is retrospective. A psychotic break of someone he loves and he blames himself for it. The consciousness has been a small blip since forever. You get the vibe and you realise that these are idiots. Mere vibe can transmit their intelligence and there is nothing more left to know about it. Is it the worst luck ever? Nah! It's just a lucky acquaintance with the truth, pain has anyway been forever. What is unbearable is the company of depraved idiots. That's what exactly is unbearable. You search place after place to discuss the nature and the universe, discuss things that are good and you realise that it's not possible. You still don't know whether it's not possible for you, or for a group of people or for everyone. The game was fun when you didn't know, and that really underlines the stupidity. Now you know. It's a daily business. The construction of fate. Fate is constructed and then delivered. The worst part of it are the reasons. The reasons are not some law, commandments or decrees, they are caprices of badly raised, spoilt and entitled assholes. This is how simple the things are. If you have to choose your reality you must choose the most authentic version of it. It's mind boggling, even since the hubris. One can have access to all the knowledge and information in the world and yet they can be retarded, just like these assholes are. This has been fun, things start from some place and then you realise that the rabbithole goes way too deep. The pasts are dug, only problem is good boys do not have a very interesting past and that everyone has a past. It's sad, however, that the constitution is whims of a bunch of rapists.