How to be truthful to self? Why do I have to be someone else to be myself. Why can't I be myself to be the self I am. This is a blog that covers my real life. Life as I experience in a small town, as a small town doctor. I am still not as skilled as I should be, I am still afraid of so many things that I was when I was in school. But then that's how it is.
I took Silica 10 M and I thought I was getting better but then I started feeling the aggravated. I am not feeling so good right now, I got into a mini twitter fight today, where I just spoke the truth today but as always people are not ready for the truth but then it was me who engaged the person. It triggered my delusion a little but then it was fine. I was feeling much better yesterday but today I am not feeling as good.
My first advice to me will be that I should not rush and my second advice would be that I should not block myself and let the truth flow. I am afraid of myself because I am hell bent on destroying myself, but there can be a redemption that if I come back from such a condition then I deserve the change. The change is a very personal thing for me it spans from a room, a village, to a universe for me. There is a universe inside me of which I am aware, there is a voice I have noticed that says all things improper and I try to get in the depth of it. What happened with me is that I lost the sense of self. The change was so big for me that I lost the I and after I became incapacitated the things kept getting worse. I need to get back myself but them my memory is in shambles and I don't know what to do. I am getting crazier day by day and I don't want to recall memories because I am afraid of facing them, in short, I am afraid. I need a divine source to get back the power and I should ask for its intervention.
I don't remember my way going to Chilar and I feel very anxious but I hide it all under my cool demeanor but I know what hell I go through. It's irritating not being able to remember things and probably I should pay more attention. I am in too much pain and I need to have a release. The only help is in being unapologetically me. With all my weaknesses and all my strengths.
