Almost Doctor Archives
An archive of my writings and a place for my writing experiments and projects.
Tuesday, 1 September 2026
For Goody Two Shoes
I end up writing for young good boys once in a while because distraction are many. Life is unpredictable for even those who understand the game so young boys must know the trick to understand the reality of the situation in this nation. Family comes first all the time. From teenage sex and love occupy a lot of unsaid bandwidth for boys. The advice is this, deeply respect the feminine but respect women according to the person they are. The deep structure of this nation wants good boys to treat women as a prize, which they definitely aren't they are human just like you. The deep unsaid practical politicosocioeconomic arrangement is this, and it is generalised and not absolutely accurate but good enough to get a general idea, after the family value system of this nation collapsed and even before that, good men are made to think women as prize while the privileged use women, except the women of their own families, as fleshlights. In this scenario, the pareto's principle loosely applies, 20 percent privileged and opportunists, excuse my French and being so direct, fuck 80 percent of women from lower classes, middle classes and upper classes who after being used as fleshlights go on to marry the goody two shoes ready to take care of them for whole of their life and this arrangement is a loose design but it is a design. While people think of Bihar as a site of "Pakadua Vivah", the privileged while treating daughters of others as fleshlights, marry their own daughters in an unannounced "pakadua" manner and that means the man they choose must be exclusive to their daughter. We see variation of this loose arrangement along with other natural permutations and combinations in the society. The deal is to opt out of the game. People say sex doesn't matter which is my personal opinion as a physician too but it does, because whole political and social structures and intelligence establishments are based on sex. Women cheat as much as men, it's just that they don't get caught. Do not play the game unless you find true love which is as rare as a unicorn in today's society, but I can assure you that it exists it's just that conditions for it to exist have been made impossible. My suggestion if there is longing for a mate is to have muses and fictional characters written by men because women if they write female characters, unless they are very understanding, write with contempt towards patriarchy which is understandable. Get out of the game. Get in the nature, develop hobbies and jack off once in a while without feeling guilty about it. Also to remember that the condition of lower class women is absolutely terrible in this nation and they are exploited at every level which of course includes sexual exploitation and so you should, according to the situation, treat them with utmost love and respect.
Monday, 31 August 2026
Practical Wisdom for Bharat Mata
I write for good people, people who just want to do their jobs and live in peace although peace is not an option in the country we live in. What rules this country has learnt it's extractive exploitation from the British and bureaucracy from Russia, the art of doing nothing while keeping the pretense of doing everything. My dream is a good man realises this needless suffering, does his job, earns his money and comes home and spend time with his family. For good men family is all that matters. When I was younger, I had a hard time saying no to people until I realised that exploitation of goodness and humility is a centralised feature of this nation and after that I haven't had any hard time saying no to people. The setup is this, absolutely criminal assholes are protected and good men have to save their own ass. It would be hard to accept for naive people but I have seen the system closely and I have realised that this is by design and this shit is a centralised. The trick is that if you are employed by another entity do the bare minimum that keeps you in the job and focus on your family, if you are doing your own thing put your efforts. This is basic behind the facade of nation building, when the assholes whose jobs are to build the nation aren't doing so and have sold it, what can common person do. Post early 2010s, consequences for helping someone are severe and so neither help unless you know it is transactional nor ask for help as it can be used as favours that can be exploited. The state we live in is that those who wear the helmet and put trash in the bin are going to be punished for doing so and this statement is deeper than what it seems to be. The most important thing here is to not to lose your inherent goodness just know that you are following the deep constitution of this country. Spend the time you save by cutting on useless bullshit to grow your soul. It is the deep constitution to throw another person under the bus for progressing but a good men can avoid it as long as he can and if he has to do it he must know why he had to do it.
Country Club
Here is an interactive philosophical question: what if what one has thought of as authoritarianism is perpetuated on them an absolutely lowly and inferior individuals. I don't really believe in superiority or inferiority of people but some things I really consider inferior and I think of individuals who do that beneath me, like rape, pedophilia, extortion, predation of the sick, the handicapped the helpless and innocents. My crossing paths with Purvanchal deep state made my sorry ass realise that not only these things exist but are rampant in this country just that they are kept hidden from the narrative and victims are silenced either by intimidation or blackmail or by gaslighting and deluding them and that not only these things are rampant while common people are deprived of normal romantic intimacy, there are levels to assholes involved in these things just just like a PUBG player ranking or levels of stars of a police officer and have no misconceptions, these things happen from the place where most people think God resides. I had the intellectual resources to analyse it, although it sounds totally paranoid but unfortunately it is not and if your Instagram algorithm is not just food videos, you might be getting the glimpses of the real India that was hidden from most of the eyes before the internet. India, as the deep state made itself visible to me I realised, was never democratic, whether it be Congress or BJP, it's just that the authoritarianism is invisible and soft and so much that it decides what you would wear, how you'd behave, what you'd eat, unless it is the time for authoritarianism to get hard. The individuals who perpetuate this authoritarianism think of people as insects, and even the lowest ones of them and life as dispensable and at most people as stereotypes of their culture and region. They know every thing about you and have all the tools to actually know you but they aren't really interested in knowing you. This deep administration is primarily motivated by two things voyeurism and jealously, because the functionaries are employed from the lower classes with rape, money and invasive access to people's lives as incentives and they have inherent contempt for people mostly a projection of their own psychological issue and so the deep state of this country weaponises the criminality and psychiatric conditions of its functionaries against the common people. I used to call myself a debauch for drinking beer occasionally jacking off in early 2010s but then I realised that debauchery has levels and I was actually less than a teletubby in front of the lowest of these motherfuckers and most baffling and terrifying thing is that life of the most innocent and helpless person is accessible to these motherfuckers. It baffled me, as much as I have seen it, that there is no mechanism of cultural preservation, those who are exploiting the people are themselves incharge of the culture. My personalised totalitarianism when I realised that it is perpetuated by Individuals who are inferior to me and have no business with good or bad, all my life's suffering became redundant and meaningless. When individuals who inflict suffering and police people are criminal, life as well as suffering has no meaning. Only difference is that I have realised it and a lot of others haven't and some boomers still wallow in their suffering with drinks and ghazals.
Sunday, 30 August 2026
Nishtha
There are worlds in the world, diffrent worlds. You see a person and think why he or she is like this? But have you ever considered a possibility that maybe they are what they are because for them access to all other worlds except their own world has been foreclosed? I like to keep it real. I like to keep it natural, like Bear Grylls. While others can choose to live in a Suraj Barjatya or Karan Johar hyperreality, I like to keep it Anurag Kashyap. It is because I have witnessed that the core of this nation is Anurag Kashyap and the core never changed, it's just that a lot of people never get to feel it and never getting to feel it is different that it not existing as the core. So, I keep alternating between my two chosen worlds, Bear Grylls and Anurag Kashyap and while I play the game of Suraj Barjatya with with my family and community and enter the MCU and DCU once in a while, I have no delusions about the reality of the matter. A large population of this country has its possibilities and futures foreclosed. Have you ever considered that kids getting salt and rice in midday meals in government primary schools might be prepared for a life as lower level functionaries for sex and drug trafficking? Or maybe because they must be semi-literate farm workers or construction workers? The government schools have portraits of Mahatma Gandhi and Subhash Chandra Bose. Zero percent kids from government schools go to IITs and if they do, it's possibility that they are plants, and roughly calculating ten percent to ITIs and bunch of them go to blue collar jobs, but the carrot of better future always hangs. They are never told that their fates are sealed and that's still okay, the real issue is that the cushion of culture and family have been completely destroyed so that they have nothing to fall back to. Traditions are dogma now, culture is dogma now and religion is superstition. The state of freedom of speech in this nation is that if someone speaks the truth consequences, although clandestine, are quick but a tanrik will tell you the method of how to do vashikaran of your crush through your farts. If you see modern Hinduism and notice it, it's mostly about saving one's life and getting wealth. It's all Hinduism is all about. What about faith, and love of God? Vedic Hinduism if you have read Vedas is materialistic, it was about power and blessings of God about pleasing Gods, but it had a civilizational scale, they actually believed in their Gods and did sacrifices to them and those were days of empires so defeating enemies through the blessings of their Gods was important. Yajnas were important. Materialism doesn't mean the lack of faith. Materialism without faith however means corruption. And my belief is that if spirituality and medicine of a nation are corrupt then there is no scope left for it.
Saturday, 29 August 2026
Disco Dandiya
I regularly advocate for people to embrace journal writing. It is essential in this sociopolitical economy but what you write in it shouldn't be about other people but about your thoughts, feelings and conflicts. It is important to resolve your emotional and psychological conflicts through journaling, whether it is about your own bodily image, your self-image or problems you have with yourself because in the current political scenario if you have problems with yourself you are surely going to be exploited and at a deeper level. It's what Bertrand Russel said, "The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts." The problem is that the the world will always remain so, and this because absolutely evil assholes employ these fools and fanatics to keep their ACs on and to retain their right to rape anyone they choose. This is the deeper setting of existence and unfortunately it can't be negotiated with. The best one can do is to clearly know what they want and how they want to live and whether it is possible and sustainable in the environment they live in. The state of law in this country is that it poses to be for the common people but it actually serves the criminals so one has to be mindful of it and try, if possible, to stay as far away from law as possible while following it if you are good person. If you come to know as much as I do through my experiences, you'd realise that this country actually only exist on paper. Your existence can be reduced to your identity markers like your caste, religion, culture, region and things like that but you have to be sure that your actual identity markers is your family and if you are really pushing it, your community and nothing else. If your hometown can be snatched from you, it never existed in the first place and this is true for mostly everything that can be snatched from you. The external administration of this country is mainly about land and property related issues and the internal "administration" sees every other thing and that includes manipulation of relationships and social engineering of families and is populated with habitual rapists picked from lower classes so that they have contempt for the people and families they are employed on. You have to realise that actual cultures and indigenous religion have collpased and what exists is just a hyperreality and what actually remains is simply earning money and taking care of your family and to try to have fun while doing so. This may sound paranoid but unfortunately it is the base truth and when the layers of illusion peel off this is where you'd reach.
Friday, 28 August 2026
Kafkaesque Copacabana
I have been privileged enough to see the bottom line truth of existence in the country we live in. And I think I won't be boasting if I say that not many people are able to survive it. The shocking thing that I discovered was that no one is safe except those who control this bottom line truth and God as always doesn't come to help except in the form of faith, but that faith is inside you and not someone in the sky. This country works on Murphy's law. This law states that anything that can go wrong will go wrong and I do not know about the rest of the nation but in places like Purvanchal this law specially affects, good, weak, helpless or the innocent. This observation led me to realise that the practical God of this nation is predatory and unfortunately it also has theological and bureaucratic powers. In my case survival is not the issue, dignified survival is, which I realised that unless you are delusional is out of question. Thriving is reserved for the impune and brattish and the impune and brattish who project false benevolence and tolerance. Shit can get totalising fast and the practical God in this nation unfortunately judges people based on stereotypes. It is based on stereotypes that people are sent to hells and these hells are artificial, both metaphysically artificial and through intimate exploitation of the conscience of the person thrown in hell. The kicker is this the stronger your conscience is, the more you are going to suffer because it will be exploited however if you go against the current then not only you will suffer you conscience but you will suffer the artificial consequences of the transgressions one has done. The judgement of transgressions is individualised and that means a good man can suffer his whole life for taking a small bribe in this deeply corrupt nation while individuals who are habituated of committing rape live like they are living on a tropical island. I have had an absolutely terrific luck to look into and analyse the soul of this nation, the very core of its deep governance is rape, I can't say about rest of the nation but I am by now sure about Purvanchal, despite the surface pretensions of purity and piousnsess and don't get it wrong common people are still, despite the passing of old generation, pious and pure but when the core itself is rape, they won't be for long. There is not much that can be done in this situation except paying attention on the association of objects in one's mind, people, places and things. I visited hell for no reason and I personally find it quite comfortable and the only reason I write is because I worry for the weak, innocent and good and because I have realised that those who send people to hell in this nation do not deserve to have that power.
Thursday, 27 August 2026
The Rabhas Incident
When the sociopolitical realities around you shift, you do not know what to do with your interests. I wonder what I would do with my interest in fiction and fantasy with the existence turning increasingly transactional and commercial. Older realities are collapsing and so are basics the older stories were based on. Life requires mystery to be interesting. I increasingly miss my comics reading days when there were superheroes born on islands, or doing space adventures, going on missions to destroy ancient evil or heroes in ancient feudal kingdoms dealing with martial arts, conspiracies and magic. I say this because these things, these worlds were realities at least till early 2010s. You could come home from school, college or work and immerse yourself in these deep worlds and during this time you'd be disconnected from the actual reality you were living, and I'm talking this in an Indian context, about indigenous fiction and fantasy and realities. I still have western options, like Marvel, DC and others if we are talking comics and Brandon Sanderson, George R.R. Martin, Neil Gaiman, Stephen King and numerous others if we are talking western fiction and fantasy books. Being able to read Western comics, stories and novels in India comes with an invasive gatekeeping in which, in my experience, totally inept and incompetent individuals decide who deserves to read what. The model of the world, and not earth, which includes India is a bunch of decentralised and multi-level genocidal rapists, sadists and exploiters and their employed criminal functionaries raping and exploiting people and turning that rape, torture and exploitation into fate or will of God while government acts as a front for administration and welfare. India is especially demonic because there is zero percent autonomy over one's life unless one has the illusion of autonomy or is educated and aware enough to salvage a little bit, and a hundred percent responsibility and accountability for one's thought speech and actions and this existential totalitarianism goes on behind the facade of democracy as it gives these motherfuckers more field to play with. Impunity for the powerful and privileged coexists with illusion of meritocracy and the carrot of a better future and actually sealed fates for the majority while the majority juggles with traditions, morality, ethics and social conventions and law with a large chunk of them not actually following them but doing pretense. Religious sanctity of the indigenous religion has totally collapsed and if you read older books of literary writers you might realise that it never really existed except in the faiths of actually pious people of this land and local cultures including tribal cultures have totally destroyed by now except as a hyperreality with the substance beneath them totally eroded. There is no doubt that it's all about money, sex and resources and production and consumption. Life for common people is now mostly about consuming and performing for short-form videos as every little things gets either commercialized and weaponised. There is a reason why actual literature is absent in India and writers are becoming less and less and why comics industry has collpased and actual Indian mythmaking is deteriorating and is turning from civilizational to feudal and political in nature. It is because literature and mythmaking empowers people and shows them the truth and comics empower children and impart them values beside helping them to inculcate reading ability and imagination. Totally incompetent, rootless and westrnised at the top and feudal at the bottom individuals are making decisions for people while people's autonomy is stripped and their attentions focused on their economic precarity. Those who are a little stable are forced to consume substandard propaganda without any depth or have to switch to Western writers and Western or foreign media including media from American and Japanese corporations like Anime, Marvel and DC and Hollywood which is unfortunately hegemony under the pretext of globalisation and unfortunately this media is also gatekept from a lot people.
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For Goody Two Shoes
I end up writing for young good boys once in a while because distraction are many. Life is unpredictable for even those who understand the g...
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Jay thrashed his fingers across the strings of his bass guitar, the basis notes reverberating through the dimly lit club. The cr...
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The yellow submarine silently explores the vast green sea. The captain looks through the periscope for the slightest hint of the island of s...
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I got to have my creative milestones for inspiration. Of course I have to depend on the 90s Indian comics book narratives for getting inspir...