Shore

A lot of times in my writing I deal with bottom lines. It's because bottom lines matter to me. I think about where you would reach in this country if you are a believer of minding your own business, doing your job honestly and diligently and taking care of your family. The truth is you'll reach nowhere. I don't like not being sure and I prefer surety of doom over unsure future. The problem in this nation is if you are a good person you'll always be unsure of your life of your future but sometimes you end up seeing the invisible system and it is where surety of doom comes in picture. Once the unknown has made sense, all the anxiety goes away. You realise God doesn't really exists, at least not of the kind we grew up believing in. If at all God exists, He or She is passive and evil is active and you have to derive your own strength from the passive God through your faith like drawing water from a well. In a political sense, you realise that this country doesn't exist and government is just an illusion and just an arm of the kleptocratic technofeudal oligarchs and it has to keep doing the bare minimum to keep the illusion. You realise that it's zero sum game in which if you are not a part of the system you lose everything and the one those who run the system gain everything. That this country is not a democracy but a technofeudal combination of numerous principalities where you carry the hierarchy of your principality wherever you go in the nation or the world. You, as you navigate the reality of this nation with people having different levels of knowledge and awareness, realise that those who are in power would do anything to retain their power and life of common people doesn't really matter, in fact they are actively preyed on from a level where most people think God resides. The machinery is shapeshifting in nature so everyone makes out or are given different reasons for their suffering, the origin of suffering might be local or can be relegated to diffrent part of the nation or the world and walks with the person and victim blaming, blame shifting and credit stealing are rampant. When one realises these things only the most authentic mode of being remains, things that can't be trademarked, nature and the night sky. In the past decade I ended up realising that what actually rules this country is not only predatory and entitled but also embarrassingly incompetent. This is the bottom line and once this is known what remains is intimately holding on to your real faith and having fun.

Beyond Good and Evil

If you read Nietzsche you will be inclined to believe that there is nothing like good and evil but fortunately or unfortunately there is. The world is run on principles and it is run on principles because the ones in power want it to run on principles so that more capable people can't overthrow them. These individuals who are above the glass ceiling, it is for them good and evil doesn't matter with one caveat, until there is the threat of their one's own life and property. These individuals can only reject the binary if good and evil because they can afford to otherwise society, cultures and the world needs to define what is good and what is evil. Evil exists, I have seen pure evil in the eyes and externally it just looks like that normal rickshawala or conductor or some corporate employee or any kind of everyman and it is because of existence of pure evil, existence of pure goodness becomes impossible. The dictum is "no rest for the wicked" but it can be translated to no rest for the good. Because evil doesn't suffer their restlessness or anguish but tranfers it to the most helpless and weak individual it can find and this shit is cyclical because by doing so evil feels power and becomes more evil, it's like drug addiction. My theory is that either the world is run by people for whom good and evil doesn't matter, or by extremely evil individuals who employ demonic individuals for crowd control. Evil can become predatory but it seldom becomes sick because it has found a way to channelize its anguish and this anguish arises from definition of good and evil in the world and the society and they cross the threshold between good and evil so often and so much that they become predatory and habituated of the high that they get by oppressing the good and helpless and of course the lower form of evil or criminals are also jealous of goodness because a good man resisted what they couldn't. When you live in a high castle, you are far removed from good and evil, you do what you please and the arrangement is such that the levels below the high castle have to kill each other to climb up the social ladder which in fact in present social scenario is also a myth. Only individuals who have enough dirt on them so that the plug can be pulled on them at anytime climb up the social ladder. The rest are dispensable resources and addicted so misery of the helpless.

Hu Huba!

I like adventure, when I was in school I used to watch, other than "cartoon cartoon" shows of Cartoon Network, animated shows like Dandare, Max Steel and Johnny Quest. When you remember the animated shows of the 90s and early 2000s, go on YouTube and see those shows again you realise that children's programming, no matter how sexually suggestive it was subconsciously, was made by good people. Those guys were absolute heroes. I remember people like Genndy Tartakovsky with the shows he made. You go on YouTube and watch the intro of Batman of The Future also known as Batman Beyond and you get chills. Children shows of Indian origin also had good intent until the late 90s but propaganda was still there just not of a vitriolic kind. Congress has always had good propagandists than BJP. It's mostly because of experience and also because the good artists of the right wing are also good people and would directly refuse to make propaganda. BJP was supposed to follow the philosophy of Deendayal Upadhyay, and not surveillance capitalism. You can check out the philosophy on Wikipedia. Shyama Prasad Mukherjee and Deen Dayal Upadhyaya were the two big daddies of what later became BJP and this party ended up forgetting their own daddies. If you study integral humanism you would realise that Deendayal Upadhyaya had taken care of every need of an individual and the society and all the Indian sensibilities in his philosophy but what we ended up getting is necropolitics and one can't even blame BJP because necropolitics had been going on since Congress times it's just that Congress was good at hiding it with propaganda and their propagandists are of international calibre, and anyway the way it's clear by now that the machine works by itself and being in power just helps you funnel the money in your account which is okay until one realises that it is at expense of literal lives of the innocents. Children's programming has deteriorated and evolved into something that would make them self-centred which is actually the metaphysical design of this country and the world, like a colosseum one has to kill another person to move forward and if one hesitates then it's bye bye. I grew up on good media and I don't even want to call it media, they were just magazines, comic books and shows. When you reach adulthood you realise that good never wins; but good does one thing evil can never do, sleep peacefully at night and good also doesn't have to watch over its shoulders all the time. 

Sapling

Compartmentalisation is a neat trick to manage one's mind. I used to rely heavily on compartmentalisation until heavy stress acted like a mixer grinder and my compartments were dismantled though a good habit is as hard to break as a bad habit so the jumbled up compartments fell back in their place once the stressful situation passed. I write publicly for a couple of reasons, one I want to bring awareness about what I know is going on in this country, I do not care about the world though I care about the earth, two, I like being creative and practice an art and writing is the art I have chosen and the basic reasons behind my writing are to make people aware and informed, sometimes to make them feel warmth in a society that is turning cold and transactional, to retain and preserve the older styles of written expression and sometimes to entertain them. Though in the past decade I have increasingly realised the fact that writing as well as reading is redundant now. Though reading expands consciousness in more than one way and writing lets us make sense of our own interiority. When I realised that the standard mode of existence in this country is living without dignity my life became easier though it is my belief that dignity just like honour is within the person and someone can try to humiliate you and rob your dignity but they can't really take it permanently. A dignified and honourable life is a way of life. I sometime ago had decided that I would use this blog for gonzo journalism, it's a style of writing that matches my style though I still have to work on the nitty gritty of gonzo to do it right other than that, on this blog, I'd go for prose poetry. My prose poetry ends up turning surrealistic and violent some times and it's not because I am violent, it is because this country is extremely violent beneath the curfew like existence that we live in. When I started writing more than fifteen years ago, I used to write humorous or slice of life blog posts, poems and short stories and I wanted to write an adventure novel dealing with supernatural elements and was preparing for it. Then in the early 2010s the political and socioeconomic environment of this country and the world changed. Fiction is as redundant as non-fiction now though I might end up writing the stories that I have already planned if I have cognitive bandwidth for the same. An important thing that I have learnt in my life is that it doesn't matter what you are or what you want to be, but what you do. It's important to keep oneself busy and practice any art, like I write, or a hobby, like gardening if daily hustle of existence allows it. 

Dali and Kahlo's Centipede

How is it to deal with complexities? Complexities stop to matter once the basics turn out be extremely simple. Basics however simple must be meaningful and once meaning is drained out of them, the complexities stacked on them collapse like a house of cards. You open your eyes and see a rat race and then you find yourself in a cat and mouse game. Who is the cat and who is the mouse is the question. In the end it all ends up becoming Tom and Jerry with meaning drained out of it and the SpongeBob soaking all the meaning in his squarepants. A lot of basic idioms get tested. Like a pig dragging a man to the muck and while the man is hating the muck on his clothes and gets more muck on himself the more he moves the pig enjoys the wrestling. It feels bad to get betrayed by every institution but unfortunately every institution betrays everyone all the time and there is nothing special in it, it's just that people don't know. You however end up knowing one thing, that people aren't robots. They may end up losing depth, but losing depth doesn't mean the end of depth. The depth remains it's just that person operates at a surface level without seeing their true self and if luck permits, which is totally different from fate, one gets to have their long awaited rendezvous with their deeper self. Complexities collpase when the basics are not right. Humans are complex organisms and once it is decided that they are just automatons functioning on pleasure and pain, anomalies are bound to happen once in a while. And when the anomaly happens. House of Cards. The time is going to come when everyone wears Squarepants because Mini-mes are let loose on people, pigs whose only job is to drag people in the muck, wrestle them and enjoy that wrestling. The Mini-mes who snatch people's morsel of food earned from their own hard work from their mouths. Automatons wearing Squarepants everywhere snatching morsels of hard earned food from each other because their hard earned morsel was snatched by the Mini-mes and when they have time from all the snatching they might have a rendezvous with their deeper self. Squarepants might end up with platonic relationships and then the question will arise whether they deserve loving platonically and so the government appoints a committee to decide who deserves to love platonically and a fast track court is setup with evidences against the platonic rebels who refused to go in the depths of vagina and become pimps who naturally evolve, just like a Pokemon, into predators. A shape-shifting hierarchy becomes whatever the fast-track court wants it to be so the man wearing a blazer over is underpants looks at a judges and the judges are experts at seeing things that don't exists, they conjure evidences from thin air. Inkblot test is applied and so finely that Rorschach would be proud. Do people with childhood trauma fail the inkblot test or the ones who inflict childhood trauma do? That's a question for this year UPSC aspirants. God lays in his bed with the goddess massaging his feet munching on a pizza, ordering a ravioli and tiramisu from a food delivery app while an army of inkblot qualified police snatch the morsel from his mouth as Mahabali measures Kashmir to Kanyakumari in one step.

Black Text

One has to go through a kafkaesque nightmare to let the invisible bureaucracy make sense. The world keeps on folding over itself to make sure that there are no free lunches. In my village however, back in the day, there were free lunches. Free lunches are not always incentives, sometimes they are common courtesy and manners too. In the 90s there were bumper dhamakas from the wholesellers to retailers which have become rarer and rarer these days. Businesses have consolidated and no bumper dhamakas are a prime example of climbing up and pulling the ladder. The invisible bureaucracy suddenly start to make sense and then the kafkaesque nightmare loses its potency. The kafkaesque nightmare has to have some style to remain potent and when it fails to uphold the style, there goes all its ambition to become a nightmare. You start with the assumption that you are one of the one and half billion, and how can shit be all about you? Turns out shit is actually all about you. How could it be? Well it is how it is. You see the hyperstratification. People flee from their villages to the city to escape persecution, knowing little that the system walks with them. An intimate blackmail walks with them wherever they go. The village was a prison, the city was a prison, the country is a prison, the planet is a prison. The state of existence that one discovers after, well, coming face to face with reality can only be explained through gnosticism. It doesn't matter though as there is no philosophy except "keep on breathing as long as you can" required in a gulag. Can God be this cruel? Well, you did not complain when women were getting raped and children were getting kidnapped in the 90s? You were busy going to birthday parties and eating cake, mithai, samosa in that silver paper plate and cold drink in that plastic cup. You only came to know there is no order because you directly suffered that there is no order. You saw individuals inferior than you thinking of you as inferior, the only catch is that they want to achieve unachievable superiority over you but they can't because they are inferior to you and thus the unachievable superiority translates into infinite torture to your mind and body, thankfully not the soul because the soul recovers once the delusions are shed. A person who wouldn't sell his soul no matter what ends up retaining his soul as his mind and body get tortured, but in this process every scripture, every morality, every philosophy ends up falsifying itself, what remains in the end is ethological psychology, a Darwinian Pavlovian psychology. You always knew that Hitler if he had gotten into the art school he applied to wouldn't have killed so many people, but then Hitler ended up taking the blame for numerous other Hitlers behind him and in front of him. It's always a scenario of between a rock and hard place. People wouldn't have been talking of gnosticism if the right side had won. People talking of the Matrix are transformers now. Neurons grown in labs now power Artificial Intelligence and one would think where is ethics? There never was. It was just the illusion of ethics. God is the drug, because even after impossible sadism inflicted on body and mind, one ends up thinking what if there is a God? Here is the the thing, if there was a God, he would have intervened by now, unless he really enjoys rape. A person gets raped and their protest is neutralised by a clever argument. Well, it is this easy to neutralize protest of rape, just a clever argument, it doesn't even have to have a basis in truth. The final takeaway? Land and resources are acquired by war and wars are won by domination and once the war is won, this domination flows into the arteries of people. Power and domination then become the ultimate truth of civilization while one wears the blindfold of culture and civilization. I like to know the name of the poison being injected in me. It's all cyclical. Socrates knew it, Jesus knew it, any person sensitive enough to care about humanity knows it. It's Kaliyuga and it's forever. Satyuga is just first class, Kaliyuga is where all the happening thing is. It is here a man turns into a bug while the system sprays pesticide on it. Sometimes it's not that easy getting rid of bugs, especially in a rotten environment and especially when Satyuga has to come to Kaliyuga for catharsis. When Satyuga has to come to Kaliyuga for catharsis, it is here one realises that Kaliyuga is the ultimate truth and it is forever. The leather jacket hangs, and one has to pick it up. Farming was easy and it's nothing personal. The problem arises when farming gets personal. The rot is only manure. The leather jacket has been picked up. It was a long time coming. Some bugs are good, better than viruses at least. It's Mcafee time!

Old School

The Purvanchal deep state that is connected to deep state of this nation is a stool that rests on three legs, one, we will kill you; two, we will rape the women in your family and three, we will kill your family. The best part is that you have to do nothing to come under the radar, well, at least in my case I couldn't find anything out of the line except that I wrote poetry and blogs which might actually be out of the line because I have seen a BHU art professor going cray. Probably because she must have gone deeper into her field and tried to explore surrealism. In my life as I retrospect, I realise that it might be simple, local hate crime. Here is the deal about hate crimes in this country, while you try to live your life peacefully trying to earn enough to feed your family, someone hates you based on whims enough to destroy your family and rape the women in your family and possibility is you don't even know them. I just a few years back had no idea that pajeets are so daring. In some cases however hate crimes are committed and they get out of the hand and escalate so much that the State has to take care of it so one ends up realising that the State is just an extension of these criminal motherfuckers. Now let's talk about the three legged stool, one, we will kill you. This leg has no effect on someone who is not afraid of death. The second and third stool, we will rape the women in your family and we will kill your family are also useless because these bastards are already raping women in your family with the intent of rape and genociding totally innocent families just based on their whims. There is a particular conditioning of the individuals employed in this establishment, like they can destroy the whole world to fuck a women they have eyes on, that's the base intent and they enjoy raping the women of a person's family in front of them. It does sound very familiar even though none of us have actually seen it or had it happening to ourselves. I got acquainted to this arrangement in late 2010s and kept on getting acquainted to it more and more and since I was a firm believer in Indian civilization it was kind of heavy for me to finally reject it completely. It's not God. God was never in the picture. I have seen some personally tough times and it is during those times I came to know about non-existence of God and the power of faith both. Though I find it hilarious that individuals whom you don't even know hate you and, as I realised, for reasons that are not in you but in them. It's a simple case of jealousy and psychological projection. The best thing that I know that the big daddies who run Purvanchal and possibly Bihar too sell people from their region to get humiliated and exploited by Individuals of other regions. Democracy can go on forever if mafia dictatorship has the control of people's souls and fates. Guess it's time to order some cigarettes and chocolate from Blinkit.