Yavan

I hate mentioning myself in my writing, I primarily wanted to be a fiction writer which is now a far cry in this nation and probably always has been but since I have been in touch with literature, I know that books like Simoqin Prophesies were being written in this nation as late as 2004 and the last Ananya Tantrist book as late 2018, then there is a book like Asura's curse written as late as 2025. There is one thread in common that a lot of writers who write these books have one foot in a foreign nation. I like these genres of books but there aren't many books of these kinds and the political reality has changed so much that they'd stop to matter. My worry until I realised the background reality of this nation was comics, especially indigenous comics but that ship, I later realised, has sailed. I have identified with Kafka since my early youth but Kafka's reality no matter how much arbitrarily bureaucratic had a sort of dignity even though a lot of it might be him being a dignified person and this was more than 100 years ago. Like I said I hate mentioning myself in my writings because I primarily wanted to be a fiction writer, write about science fiction, mystery, mythofiction fantasy and adventure but back in the day when Virgin Comics was still alive, Shekhar Kapur still made comics characters, when Indian comics was going through a narrative shift I didn't know that feudalism will be back. The truth is that feudalism had never left it's in the late 2000s these motherfuckers decided to really go along with their plans, destroying family cultures and collecting dirt on everyone and making the country a panopticon. People can't pay for the treatment of their illness but they can be harvested for data. The best part of it all is no one can be blamed for it. When you think about blaming it on someone that entity doesn't even exist. The entity that exists is the government but then can it really be blamed is the question. The approach that I have seen is sabotaging your autonomy and using your own self and identity to sabotage you and your future. This is the way this country operates. The persecution is invisible and when you see the level of it you would wish that you would have been born in Iran or North Korea because Iran gives you the dignity of getting hanged on town square and North Korea gives you the dignity of the firing squad. Not giving people dignity is not really cool especially when the whole game you play is based on dharma and civilization. There is no dharma and no civilization what there is are seths, zamindars, politicians, bureaucrats, industrialists and godmen and mafia bosses having connnections to each other and not to mention their demonic bitches who are no less. While persecution is not a problem it's the invisibility of it and the most important part is that it hits you like fate and it can start in the childhood itself because these motherfuckers don't give a fuck which is an understandable thing when power is invisible and you have no skin in the game. The best part is unlike America you there aren't any markers for persecution like race except of course castes which is one the prominent markers in hellholes like Purvanchal, Bihar and Jharkhand and operated by their apexes like rape or grooming gangs. The arbitrariness is funny in the way that a hate crime can evolve into state persecution because some people would die if they are asked to but not if they are forced to.

Milton

I have been to the bowels of this country and I have learnt things. The primary thing that I realised that this country at its depth revels in stratification, inducing suffering and invalidating experiences and sometimes the whole lives of people. The base emotion is breaking legs of people and then ridiculing them for not being able to run the race of survival. I am pretty straightforward and mind my business person but the voyeuristic and predatory setup doesn't really allow a person to mind his own business. People's wills are broken so that they just become bodybags of their own lives. Everything is stratified engineering colleges, medical degrees, which I earlier found to be okay after all IITs are better than a Tier 3 college but then I realised, firstly that meritocracy is a scam, secondly if you are from a Tier 3 college you will be exploited your whole life for that and in such a way that it will hinder your actual job and thirdly the whole ontology and how things are done differs between strata and that means a person who has studied the same syllabus will act differently when he is in Tier 1 setup and if he is Tier 4 setup with high chances that a person operating with his skills in a Tier 4 person has his will broken if he is a good person and if he is not then he has turned predatory. The top cream in anything in this country is already selected and if it is selected from diffrent background than top cream then there is dirt collection on him so that he can be manipulated at will. There is nothing left to chance and real dedication and loyalty means nothing, dedication and loyalty are extracted through forced patronage and existential blackmail. The most mind boggling thing that I realised was that people are prevented from experiencing their own lives. The base of this country as I was able to see is rape, hypocrisy, jealousy and opportunism and when these things are the base, if they are true for one person they are true for all as it then becomes the bottom line and that means when the bubble of delusion pops it is this you are going to see. You have to choose your own skill that you want to master and become better at and it is better if there are more than one skill, one professional and at least one at the personal level. I have seen the amount of force used that I haven't seen being used even on terrorists and this is when I was a mind my own business and come home and read books and play videogames kind of a person. I got to become intimate with base of this nation and realised that it is essentially operated by individuals who are genocidal rapists and who employ genocidal rapists from the lower classes for manipulation of families and do social engineering. My deal is simple, I judge organisms by their ability to feel pain and their sentience and I realise people with depth, good people who believe in God are being manipulated by straight Pavlovian psychology. If you feel anxiety and humiliation going somewhere, you won't go there or if you feel better going somewhere even if it harms you you will go there, these are the simple principles on which this nation operates. Of course the world is complex, but this is the bottom line and it is at this bottom line all the complexity of the world simplifies. If someone doesn't like your face, and even if you do not know them, you can reach a place where there is no God, no government and no law. Just a boot of power crushing your face worn by individuals who if they hadn't been employed would have been pulling rickshaws or peddling drugs. It is here my sympathy for lower classes ended because I ended up realising that people can be brainwashed and conditioned into anything, even being a demon, an example would be of burning the whole world for having sex with someone. This is a real intent and individuals of different intents of this kinds trapped in hell are let loose on people who just want to live their own lives and people and their lives are manipulated by such kinds of individuals. It is a setup of only and only negative attention. It's essentially save your own ass kind of setup with genocidal rapists running amok and if you are not privileged the next can be you. This arrangement is cleverly hidden by propaganda and you would read Dainik Jagran and feel everything is fine but issue is that the propaganda is not being able to hold the peddled false reality in its place anymore because of the internet which was important for making new financial systems and panopticons and a ledger of people's lives and of course harvesting of data. 

Close-up

One can try to do some serious writing but the truth is that writing is redundant now and it only matters because one has to live and for living one needs to deal with psychosocial metaphysical constructs. I have decided to write less often but I don't stop myself when I feel like writing, and this I think is important. AI can technically write better than me but it doesn't know how it felt to evolve from Sify cyber cafés to Yahoo Chatrooms to Orkut to Facebook and then Instagram. It knows it as data but it hasn't felt it the way a human would. The most basic enlightenment in today's times is realising that one's fate which most people think is of divine or providential in origin is political in origin. Know this and then you won't have to search for meaning in your life because one you understand and experience this fact you know that meaning from life has already been drained. What happens next is you turning into the primitive man depending on nature, gazing at the vast night sky and being with your tribe, and by tribe I mean your kind of people. In today's times it is increasingly hard to find good company. I have been lucky in this regard though I already had a plan in case I do not get good company and that was having ideals and role models. A person is as good as the role models he chooses and I chose the role models that agreed to my younger self and luckily they still agree to my older self. I would end up writing, that is if my cognitive abilities allow, the books and stories I have planned till now but I know that it's all redundant now. It's like Windows XPs wait hourglass cursor in later Windows editions being replaced by a glowing blue circle denoting that time is cyclical. Time has also stopped and I would suppose the decision to stop time was taken somewhere in the 90s. There was a time when people fed up with worldly life could get away from it choosing vairagya and becoming a bairaagi, or someone could escape to other states or countries, like a man from North going to Mumbai or Chennai or places like Myanmar or Malaysia or even Canada. The escape has been sealed now. You are locked in your identity and you can't do anything about it, you can't really reinvent yourself anymore unless and until it is for spectacle. A highway robber named Ratnakara can't become sage Valmiki and the most unfortunate part is that the most of the sages of modern times we see are essentially highway robbers at a metaphysical plane. The change has been gradual. In Yahoo Messenger there were roleplay chatrooms and I remember because I used to roleplay Harry Potter characters in the Harry Potter chatroom. Just people from different backgrounds escaping their real lives and having fun. Now the internet is the real life. You can't have an anonymous profile. Your existence on the internet is locked, even places like Reddit which was founded by one of my favourite people Aaron Swartz have a display picture space where there used to be an ET avatar. Your social life is locked, your cyber life is locked and all escape routes of probable venting and catharsis are locked. Anyone who knows logic and has seen the way the websites, social networks and social media have evolved knows that what controls the technology and the internet is what is God. In 90s coding was the new Sanskrit, and now that Sanskrit too is not required because AI has made coding redundant too. It's the age of tyrannical technofeudalism which, when one retrospects, was always there just that all escape routes now have been closed and even the basic of bread and circuses have been tiered. When knowledge, skill, intent and goodness don't matter what will? The answer is simple, blood or in scientific language, DNA. One can't become a neurosurgeon because their parent died of brain tumor, which is how a lot of people chose careers before the 2000s. Individuals who will become neurosurgeons have already been selected and so are the pop stars and film stars. And this can apply to any profession. I increasingly realised that I can't serve people because there is no one to serve to. What can be done is of course earning money so that you can provide food, clothing and shelter to your family and get a game on Steam once in a while. 

Prose Poem

Imagery wants someone to cosume it so that it gets in through the eyes and explodes in the consciousness. The brain is divided into two parts, no not the anatomical or physiological parts, just parts. A false brain, setup over the true brain and the false brain filters information going out and coming in changing its colours like a chameleon. Batman fights Court of Owls because he is a fool, ideally he should commit suicide, why? Because he has no family, no parents to look after. Darwin saw the monkey turning into man or did he? There are many who see man turning into monkey. It’s Planet of The Apes. What if rape was a currency? I fuck your mother you fuck mine sort of thing. Transaction denied? Well, not at all places. God must be high on cocaine when he made man and then from his rib, the woman. Heresy? Or Hearsay? Bring back the tough topics? What if rape is a currency? It takes a lot of evolution in the monkey to think of currencies. Paper is anyway worthless. It’s just a promise, and what is a promise worth? You see beneath three visible lions, truth triumphing as always, well truth sucks unless you are into rape as a currency. I’m not. The incense stick burns, and somewhere on the 4th page of a local newspaper a man has decapitated himself in the feet of the Mother. Mother got fucked. All that remains now is the vibrator of economics running with the battery of finance. You read about a guy who writes transgressive fiction, you read the guys who write transgressive fiction but nothing is more transgressive than reality until and unless you are into wearing RayBans or wearing a VR headset. When the time is right you’d have to think from your ass. Fiction is suspect because reality should be one, the actual reality, while personal reality remains of people running on treadmills reaching nowhere and burning no fat while transaction of rape goes on in background. The brain is divided into two parts. When the true brain is pushed at the bottom you will have to think from your ass. You know what Aryavarta, the Hindoostan, is worth? A pack of nicotine patches and a DVD of Star Wars and then you go around telling the whole town that you own a pack of nicotine patches and a DVD of Star Wars. You know what is a Golden Ratio. Well people get ratioed when they choose the side of those who transact in rape. Monkey has come a long way, and all hierarchies except the one that is non-negotiable are gone. This is going to have a chain reaction and it would be fun when it happens. Manto spoils his liver, Premchand got buried in the Idgah. They just didn‘t know that all the Aryavarta, the Hindoostan, is worth was a pack of nicotine patches and a DVD of Star Wars. When one enters the illusion, they can‘t go back. A farmer needs seeds to farm, a butcher needs animals to butcher and this is what one needs to remember. There is an offer, and it’s an offer that one can refuse that is to transact in rape. The consequence is of course rape but I’ll rather let my ass talk than let the nicotine patches do the talking, because gods assemble to understand the chronology of nicotine patches. When the bubble is indestructible, nicotine patches seem like gold coins. Kuber is dead. 

Pathos

After a point life becomes all about dealing with psychosocial metaphysical constructs. It took me some time to realise that true friendship doesn't exist in this country anymore. Any friendship that one has is prone to manipulation and sabotage and only true friendship that remains is in which both parties understand the constraints of existence to maintain the relationship. Since man is a social animal, relationships are important for survival and it is here transactional relationships come in picture. I have seen the baseline so if we are talking reality and base truth of this nation, transactional relationships are the only kind of realationships that exist and they will exist because man is a social animal and relationships are important for survival. I am believer in realationships so, I, despite knowing the base truth of this land did not cut off my relationships which were essentially dead weight and were pulling me down. I don't desert people which when machine of this country applies weight on you you'd be forced to do. The people management this country does at the base is all superficial, it's just the manipulation of perception without considering the person whose perception is being manipulated and since humans are entities who have depth this causes immense suffering but one thing that ended up realising is that the machine that runs this land revels in suffering. More the suffering the better it is. Unfortunately this suffering doesn't have any meaning, it's suffering for suffering's sake and a lot of times for leisurely or recreational for the ones inflicting this suffering. God was never in the picture except as a decoy but having faith is recommended and so is projecting God outside oneself despite there being no evidence of Him or Her being anywhere except inside. What is outside is a machine. A cultural and socioeconomic hyperreality that feeds lies and so people's whole lives end up turning into a lie. What I discovered as authentic when veil from my eyes lifted is just the nature and the night sky, everything else, until it is not claimed as grace, can be enjoyed and while grace is good for those who have it, I realised that it's actually incompetent criminal exploiters and rapists posing as God and so I became ready for whatever fate my future holds for me. I did this because I have seen totally innocent God fearing people die, family cultures meticulously developed by head of the families destroyed. The worst part of it all is that the machine that runs this nation is as intimate as it is demonic. It guilt trips totally innocent people in killing themselves and when they don't die, they are existentially framed. Safe to say that flying cars do not matter anymore and even if they arrive in future they'd be worthless as most people would have by then realised that they are animals of slaughter being reared as human resource and would be slaughtered as soon once their usefulness is exhausted. I retain sentimentality despite it being a mortal sin. The machine that runs this nation is incompetent and it can't see the truth despite having complete access to it and I have seen it. One of the reasons it is so because it is habituated of making people carry its own version of people's truth like they are coolies and this gap between forced truth and the actual truth of the person causes immense suffering but then as I said suffering is the whole point.

Nimbuda

The way I have been exposed to the land we live in, I realise that it's all about appearances and keeping appearances and none about the substance. People have different experiences and a lot of people might feel that the country we live in is not so bad but I have been exposed to the bottom lines and I have seen the baseline, the base from where everything operates. I decided to side with substance instead of keeping appearances because I prefer it this way. It's an ugly country, more ugly than I had thought and I realised it when I ended up seeing and realising that what I had thought of as sporadic is centralised. While people have the VR headsets of their desires and ambitions, chasing them, with only a few of them making it and rest of them compromising and ending up giving the next generation of cattle to whatever that runs this country. I have no idea what actually runs this country at its base, but I have an experience of more than a decade that it is demonic and by demonic I mean absolute evil. I through my experiences was prepared when the big reveal came to me and I decided to write my experiences, despite it all sounding batshit, so that people don't get blindsided. I didn't get blindsided because my life experiences had primed me for the big reveal and I was not surprised, it was just a sort of confirmation. But people who are deep in the VR headset of their ambitions and desires, chasing them, when the truth would hit them they will be shaken. What I write is sort of cushion. What makes this country particularly demonic is the mask of law, morality, conventions and ethics that the impunity and arbitrariness wears. Society isn't the same as before and community is scattered. Each family is its own bubble and so is each person. Like Tolstoy said, "All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way," there are a lot of unhappy families in this country and so there are lot of ways families can be made unhappy. Family is the only authentic organisation that is left in this country and investing in any other organisation until and unless it pays you, in some way, is stupid. I don't give a fuck about appearances anymore, I decided to stick with my substance whatever it is. When the base reality itself is rape, no appearance matters. 

Kunjum Kunjum

I don't know about other parts of this nation but I have realised that criminal exploitation in Purvanchal is intimate and is done based on silly things like hatred of quirks and eccentricities of a person and even more silly things which are way too direct that it would qualify as predation, like a widowed woman, orphaned child, at the emotional plane, an adopted child, a handicapped person, a sick person or any other weakness under the sun. And this criminal exploitation is done from a place where people believe God resides, and a lot of time this criminal predation is leisurely and recreational in nature. The two important emotions that I was able to witness were sadism and schadenfreude and third thing is of course extreme cruelty. This was the most probable solution of absolute edge in power dynamic and it turned out to be true, a textbook case of Occam's Razor. Individuals involved in the setup are so neck deep in depravity and criminal excesses that they basically project pathological Rorschach's inkblot on harmless and innocent people. Fate then becomes criminal manipulation instead of God's will which it never was. These motherfuckers are always happy because they know the basic fact that happiness is the best medicine and they do not internalise their negative emotions which they are full of, instead they project themselves and their emotions and this means they would murder a person for the slightest of inconvenience they face and it doesn't matter if that inconvenience is their projection even if was not caused by the person they just murdered. As I said they are full of hatred and even for the quirks and eccentricities of people and they murder them for them. Persecution is whimsical and they search for reasons to torture and persecute people and when they can't find any reason they create it. The happiness mixed with the hatred within them, since they don't internalise their emotions, is projected in form of malignant ridicule which might not even have a basis and might be based on quirks of people or simply Rorschach's inkblot affected faults in their perception. The setup is essentially demonic but at the base is sex and money in form of rape and exploitation. Criminal exploitation of anything that can be exploited, personality quirks or anything for that matter. One think that I came to realise in the past decade is that you don't have to be a good person to create good art, which is contrary to be earlier beliefs, also you can make the kind of art a good person makes by copying him. This country at its base thrives on inversion and instead of good people knowing how criminals function, it is criminals knowing how good people function, and they play in possibilities, in permutation and combinations. To psychologically torture a person deprivation is a tactic that is used. Two basic emotions that are used are desire and fear, baiting by desire and withholding it and then playing in permutations and combinations and inducing fear in person and then playing in permutations and combinations of it. Torture can he applied on the kind of things that a person has no control on, which are essentially involuntary which can be retrospectively branded as wrong through some arbitrary reason.