उफान

सपने टूटते हैं 

तो दिल टूट जाता है,

दर्द का दरिया उमड़ता है कभी,

कभी गुस्से का उफान,

खालीपन सा घर कर लेता है 

सीने में

और फिर हम फिर उस खालीपन

को भरते हैं फज़ूल चीजों से,

दर्द के दरिया को 

बनाओ प्यार का समंदर

और सींचो सूखते पौधों को,

अपने खालीपन को भर दो

नए सपनों से,

और इन सपनों को करो पूरा

अपनी मेहनत से।

मरुस्थल

इन पेड़ों को देखो,

ज़हरीली हवा लेते हैं,

और हमें देते हैं

फल और साफ हवा।

देते हैं हमें छाया,

और आसरा।

हम इंसान भी कैसे हैं,

जो हश्र हम पेड़ों का करते है,

वही अच्छे इंसानों का करते हैं,

सिर्फ इस्तेमाल।

दुनिया को ज़रूरत है,

और पेड़ों की,

और अच्छे इंसानों की,

नहीं तो सिर्फ बचेगा

एक मरुस्थल,

और आपस में

छीना झपटी करते

इंसान रूपी जानवर।

सूरज जब सोता है

सूरज जब सोता है

शाम ढलती है रात में

आता है जब अंधेरा

लेकर चाँद और तारे साथ में

तब होती है एक उम्मीद

फिर एक नया सवेरा आएगा

जगमग धरा को कर जाएगा

फिर से रोशन होगी ये धरती

चहचहाएंगी फिर वो चिड़िया उड़ती

सूरज जब सोता है

देता है वह उम्मीद

होगा फिर से प्रफुल्लित ये मन

होगा उज्जवल फिर से ये उपवन

O Mother

O mother, take me in your arms

Keep me away from sins

Free me from pain and suffering

Allow me to be free under your care

O mother, I have seen much pain

I have felt unbearable anguish

I have felt terrible aches

Free me from pains

O mother, take me in your care

Let me spread nothing but light in this world

Give me wisdom and ability

Free me from lust and anger

31-07-26

Let me see, what do I have to write? I like old school internet. The internet where people were present to connect to each other, to make friends, to discuss ideas and their interests. That internet is long gone. All that is now is weaponised information and information warfare where you have to have edge in information than the person in front of you. I ended up seeing a whole new face of the internet and I was young and naive and did not know that the internet in the world we live in can be connected to one's destiny. Here was a guy discussing science, literature and pop culture and who thought this is what the internet is for. For discussions, for discussing hobbies and interests when in truth the internet was divided into two factions one, people escaping the real world because real was was either unbearable for them or too boring and the other, predators and unfortunately also the kind of predators who write destinies of people. There was no pop culture to be discussed only histories to be made a history that no one would know about. The third faction which was an intersection of the two factions was of the narcissists, the escapist narcissists and the predatory narcissists and there were some looking to find greatness, chasing greatness through a technology that gave them visibility by emulating greats but that's what schools teach isn't it? Emulating the greatest? As the built narrative collapses under the weight of available information and tyranny one is left wondering who in fact was great in history? As the greats are outed as predators, opportunists, pedophiles and industry plants there is no greatness left to emulate, just peace to be found. Old school internet as one realises only existed for the lucky, the same old school internet that made kids roleplay Harry Potter characters got they preyed upon by predators and the most unfortunate of them found a link between being a prey and their destiny. Internet too is a reflection of the world, and earlier the escapists escaped into this new democratic world where anything could be said without consequences and so followed the predators into this new world full of preys and now even saying things on the internet has consequences and a lot of times worse than saying things, like they say, IRL. Some learnt this lesson too early, and life came a full circle when they realised that internet too, now, is real life. It's all IRL. It's just an extension of the real life, it's not a simulation where you can have a hacker alias and be Neo and now your handle, your gamertag your social media profiles need to be connected to your government ID which sounds bad until you gain real actual political enlightenment that it's all a game of predator and prey, the life itself. There are no friends to connect to, to discuss pop culture, philosophy, science and literature and probably there never were.

Investment

It's about investing your money at the right place. Like this platform which gives me a permanent domain and tries to keep the old internet alive in its own little way. Shut up and take my money, I would say. Good places to invest money? Food, clothing, shelter and by this I mean experimenting with new food, getting comfortable clothing that express your personal style and a home of your own decorated with your personal preferences, with the basics secured then come investment in knowledge, entertainment and hobbies. But before all of this comes investment in health because if health is shoddy no amount of wealth is going to feel good. Investment in education? Well, unpopular opinion but not in the present political economy, no. Investment in education is useless. In knowledge and skill development? Extremely useful. Though investment in education for social validation and ornamental purposes is recommended but not as essential as gaining real knowledge and skills. I see how the landscape of existence has changed in the past decade. For me it had changed way before that. I experienced gatekeeping of places I didn't even want to go to. Isn't it funny. Someone gatekeeps places you don't even want to go to and then tells you that this place is restricted for you and when you say you never even wanted to go there they become all aggresive and start forcing their opinion that you really wanted to go their when they have all the tools to know whether you did or did not. And then in their obstinate frenzy they murder you. One realises, if they read newspapers, that people lose their lives in this nation for even less than ten rupees. I read a news where a man lost his life because the golgappawala gave him the golgappa first and a similar news where a person lost his life where the eggwala gave him the egg first. It's kind of different here than Europe where choppers are deployed to save the life of one man or America where choppers get involved in a police chase. Once you have a home make sure to invest in nature in your home, and in your own little kitchen garden or a terrace garden. Make sure when it rains that you make pakoras and chai and eat them in your verandah if it is a home or in the balcony if it is a flat. Also, it is extremely important to be at home within yourself, with yourself. The reality we live in is like that bird and monkey story where monkeys destroy the nest of the bird just because he had a place to live in during the rain and they didn't. Build your nest nevertheless.

Charha De Rang

Why are small towns small towns? Why are big towns big towns. History of a nation is shaped with each passing year and so is history of its people and towns big and small. Small town people are discriminated against by the big town people and that discrimination starts flowing in the veins of the small town people and they start hesitating, in even with a fat wallet, in going to The Leela, The Taj. A hesitation flowing in the veins, and as one stands at a paan shop outside the big hotel smoking a cigarette he gets a peek into lives of those who occupy the comfortable rooms in these big hotels. Discrimination is like a plague, it spreads, like when small town people are discriminated against by the big town people they in turn start discriminating against the village folk, but village folk as the evolution has taken place for the most part are shameless except the shameful ones which are in equal amounts in big towns, small towns and villages and equal amounts means by percentage. Why are small towns small towns because of shame that has no basis in character and this little things is not visible at the outlook, a passerby would look and conclude that shame here has a basis in character, not really. It's just that life here is not composed of pulling the skirt up but just pulling up the lehenga with a remote. A small town boy goes to a big town and meets no one and yet discrimination starts flowing in his veins. How does discrimination starts to flow in veins when he met no one, no one at all. He sits in his hostel room, with a pack of cigarettes and chainsmokes and it reminds him of the time when he was again in a hostel room conjuring up thoughts of playing a guitar and sometimes actually playing the guitar as chicken cooked in on the gas stove in the balcony. That's what the big town does he forces people to smoke and be ashamed over the utensils used for the cooking of chicken which unfortunately is a humble pressure cooker. The night sky watches the chicken and the steel ladle reflects the face of the chef. For the big town the chef is the chicken just as the chicken is the chicken for the chef. As the National Security Guard deploy for the ones in Taj, black cats in the small towns do their leela, a future is carved with promises but in truth isn't that promising. The big town swallows the small town whole and delivery agent comes with the parcel, a remote for lifting the lehenga.