Competent Authority

You imagine a girl painting a picture of you as Tyler Durden from fight club. A pizza delivery boy goes to deliver a pizza at a whorehouse. Glances exchanged, pizza delivered. A tree is being seen by a thousand eyes. Main aisa kyun hoon, the guy asks despite it never being the question, despite it not being the question he wants to ask, despite it never being the question he had in the mind and heart to ask. Guantanamo opens and he is waterboarded by blind enforcers to ask, main aisa kyun hun. Guantanamo is a subsidiary of Stanford. Yes the prison experiment one. Johnny Quest goes into the QuestWorld but he longs for the astral plane. Unfortunately astral plane doesn‘t really exists. It’s just a rebranded QuestWorld. A lot of witches got burnt, burning sage for the QuestWorld. Vacuum sucks! I mean it literally sucks, sometimes knowledge as it wants to fill the empty space. Everyone is searching for emancipation. Well not everyone. Some are searching for souls to consume and bodies to deplete. That’s the fun part about it all, body gets depleted by itself with time. You never liked Tyler Durden. You are not a violent person. You don‘t like Fight Club. You are not a violent person until it is authorised by competent authority and then the realisation strikes that all competent authority is dead. Quest World sucks you in for a show you didn‘t buy tickets to. It’s a happening place. You just don’t want to be there. You search for exits, you are still searching for them. You feel God inside you, along with the devil. God is a bit deeper and less active, almost passive. The centre of gravity is inside. Nature is outside. But to search for exits, centre of gravity must be both inside and outside. The external centre of gravity as a focus that saves internal centre of gravity from choking. Nature keeps doing its magic. Mothers are never evil, the most they can be are neutral. You are still searching for exits in the QuestWorld. It’s like The Matrix. How funny that Trinity is Tiffany. The code needs to be manageable. People climb mountains, some people do it lying on their beds. No point in climbing mountains unless you are bored to death. The avalanche of boredom can make you want to climb mountains. Ideally the external centre of gravity should be in temples, but those who can see it can see it. You have to build your own temple for the external centre of gravity, doesn‘t matter if it’s in Minecraft or VR. God might not exist but centre of gravity does, and so does the Nature. Is it cool to smoke cigarettes? After an age it is not. It clogs your arteries. Blind enforcers accusing the man being waterboarded of heresy when it was just hearsay. Sometimes you just have to wear the suits competent authority wears and use their perfume.

Sulabh

It’s funny that it’s mostly the ones who are proponents of open source who support right to privacy, kind of ironical. Privacy was a debate a decade ago, it isn‘t now. Survival beats privacy hands down. It’s only after you mature that you realise that it is illusion that runs by logic, the reality runs by power. Power has the ability of changing ontology of things especially when it comes to metaphysics. You sit in a Mumbai local, reading Nietzsche. Once you have seen the Mumbai local you come to know that people are animals, that’s their ontology. Higher concepts die in the stampede of catching the last local. I sometimes put myself in the place of a handicapped man or woman trying to catch the last local, and it is here I feel footwears on my face but also a boot, a huge boot. You see autorickshaw drivers, some of them are stylish, like Mithun Chakraborty. They have chosen a style for themselves. Their autos are extravagant with Bollywood actresses as brides. Even an autowala has the decency to imagine Bollywood actresses as brides and not whores. There is a time in life where you have to choose between a Windows command prompt and a Linux terminal. Sometimes you choose both, the command prompt to save time and the terminal because your heart lies there no matter how cumbersome Linux syntaxes are. Reality is the place where dreams come to die. Shekhar Kapoor wrote comics in the early late 2000s and one could feel the myth of the Indic civilization and then enlightenment arrives, the myth replaced by street-shitting. There is no mythic demon except within. Modi jackets decide the policy, but no one knows who decides the SOPs of biopolitics and necropolitics. Shekhar Kapoor gave hope, that people could write fantasies but fantasies need breathing room; they don't survive mathematics placed atop street-shitting. How long does it take for a civilization to collpase? Depends. But what if it has already collapsed? Illusions run by logic, reality runs by power. Though power has its own mathematics it’s just that it’s a little advanced.

Wheeler

People have things in their lives that work as milestones of lives, or if not at least like relics. Some people have post offices and banks as these milestones, these relics, thankfully not police stations as those who have them as milestones or relics have only two options, either a lifetime of hell or a life time of chasing and retaining power. Some people also have buses and quizzes as their life milestones or relics. Some people can have all four, post offices, banks, buses and quizzes. Enlightenment is a crazy thing. It allows you to separate the world from the earth. Flat earthers believe the earth is flat. There must be some reason, as flat earthers are not dumb. They too work, earn, raise a family and while doing these things they believe the earth is flat. What if the round earth is a hoax? I haven‘t seen “what goes around comes around” in modern times. Do good and forget about it. Karma is flatlining like a departed patient in an ICU. This happens when there is total inversion of the providence. When criminals become judges. It was bound to happen. This is supposed to be Kaliyuga. When criminals are judges, they would empathise with the criminals and punish the innocents. Can criminals and psychopaths empathise? You would be surprised. You go to a bank and fill forms. Government banks are sweaty, messy and filled with people wearing dhotis, private banks shine probably due to the fine they levy on people for not maintaining the minimum balance. Post office is kind of dead, couples had beautiful intimacy when post offices actually worked but now you can just send a kilo of homemade pickle to kids living in the hostels or some books or anything that is measured in kgs. Buses open minds, and are not as depressive as modern day trains. Depression gets worse when you open the door of the train toilet. Trains were good when A. H. Wheeler hadn‘t gotten extinct, now you just have to leave your lower berth for some old man or woman because they have knee pain and they are entitled to the lower berth due to their age, though IRCTC didn‘t think so. A. H. Wheeler died, and so did train rides though they still are the chief mode of transport for the cattle. Quizzes don't exist anymore. Losing a quiz competition is like failing an exam, you were thinking about something else when it was your time to perform. The lady in a corporate suit is eyeing room number 420, the boss is there. It’s normal until someone comes to know about it, and it has nothing to do with quizzes. Quizzes are just for fun, like Nature made a Venus Flytrap. Just for fun. You know what do rape victims have as life’s milestones? No, not banks, post offices, buses or quizzes. It’s a quiz but there are no prizes for guessing the right answer. 

Ram Rajya

You take a deep breath. Old times flash in front of your eyes. Everyone, well almost everyone, had Ram in their name in your region. Men, women, everyone. Ram was the ideal, he gave the meaning to people’s lives. He was not the Ram of today. He was not a tool for division. Ram was the preserver, he was the prefix in almost every name. If he was in the surname that meant Bahujan Samaj Party of today, but then the Bahujans too had Ram as prefix to their name as well as surname. Ram doesn’t divide. He doesn‘t destroy. For he is the ideal man. He let his beloved wife walk into fire, because a king had to do it. He let his beloved wife go to raise their sons alone, because a king had to do it. But before that, he went into an exile because a son must do that. There is no feminism here because an ideal man feels the pain of his beloved as his own. He was the ideal. He crossed the sea for love, fought an army with an army of monkeys and yet for his ideals he took damage, not because he was weak but because a son, a king must do that, a son, a king must sacrifice. That Ram was in the name of everyone as a prefix. You stand outside a mall in Gurgaon, you see prostitutes, some high class escorts, some cheaper ones, some trannies, some even cheaper ones. Cars stop and they climb in. Ramayana is over. People chasing ideals are dead and so are the prefixes of the name. The name of our King, the avatar of the preserver, the one who sacrificed things he loved for us now is used to identify Bahujans. They are the only ones who retain his name as their surnames. The eyes are wide shut. A tiered whorehouse and a harem has replaced the land of scion of Ikshvaku. The ones who should have been living the ideals of the avatar of the preserver, our great king our Ram are putting their dicks in the pussies of prostitutes. You know who would get the most respect in Ram Rajya? Prostitutes and garbage men and septic tank cleaners, because they do the jobs no one wants to do. My King was like that. It’s okay. Everything comes to an end and it’s okay. It’s just that people have forgotten that once there was a time when people had his name, the name of our King, the scion of Ilshwaku, the avatar of the preserver, as prefix in their name, men and women both. The avatar who sacrificed everything for the ideals and ended up becoming one. But it’s okay.  

Ideal Machine

How do you compensate? If you have to compensate, compensate by being efficient. You sit in an exam hall and you see a girl getting caught for cheating, in board exams. The poor soul had a whole physics textbook hidden in her blazer. Fear makes people do things they would never do otherwise. Fear of death, harm to loved ones, of shame, of humiliation, fear of failure. It’s like in the Marvel universe, different earths in the same universe. The earth is one, and this is the biggest discovery of the century, especially for the damned. People have accounts on Pornhub. A common man cannot fathom having an account on pornhub, having a subscription. He is content watching advertisements of a bhabhi near you or of Only Fans models before every video. People have accounts, subscriptions just like a Facebook account or a YouTube subscription. They don‘t need to compensate but some do, and so those who watch ads on Pornhub be extra kind to their parents, be extra good to people. Though these are just two character sketches of the kind of people in the world. There are also the kind of individuals who traffic the women featured in the videos. As said before, it’s like in the Marvel universe; different earths in the same universe. People have limits, like most of the people would never think of having a whole ass textbook in their blazer in the board exam. Fear makes you do things and then you do it again and then it becomes a habit. Some people believe in sins, and they compensate by doing penance. Penance is good, it keeps the world good unless and until penance becomes a transaction and people start buying their place in heaven through it. A saint whips himself for getting lustful thoughts, a doctor jacks off and goes back to work without giving it a second thought. There is too much suffering in the world to give a thought to silly things. The Varah avatar lifts the earth on his tusks. Which earth is the question. The job of the preserver is to preserve. He doesn’t bother about optics. He does what he has to do. The preserver knows that the earth is one. Not unlike the one shown in the movie Apocalypto where Jaguar Paw lives. And then comes Huxley and imagines that the world we live in is hell of some other planet. Devtas have been drinking soma for quite a while now, they are allowed to do it. By whom? By themselves. Once Soma gets injected into the nerves of humans, all the worries die. Thoughts depend on circumstances. While the girl who got caught cheating in the exam faces the terror, the topper is having fun solving differential equations in the same fucking room. People carry their hells inside themselves. For some killing even an insect is a sin and they compensate. The most efficient way of compensation is efficiency and efficiency arrives gradually with mindful repetition. The topper having a gala time solving differential equations in the examination hall knows that. There is an earth where a bhabhi waits for you 5 kilometres away, but real knowledge is that that earth doesn‘t exist. Jaguar Paw runs, and now it’s the chance of Turtles Run and Turtles Run while running realises that just like Soma, hell can be injected into people‘s nerves. Who gave devtas the right to do this, they themselves did. Varah avatar does a slam dunk with the earth he was carrying on his tusks.

Jaane Kya Hoga Rama Re

You get off the bus. Your brain is craving nicotine. It’s an expressway and you see people going to the toilet, eating patties and Maggi and drinking chai and cold drinks. You go to the outlet and inquire if he had a cigarette. He said that there is an eggwala and he has cigarettes. You go to the eggwala, an extended part of the same establishment and inquire about cigarettes and he pulls out a pack of Choti Goldflake. Cigarettes are non-veg now. Interesting. Your whole life you saw your babu, who worked at your home, chewing khaini from his dabba and smoking beedi. Beedi are Indian cigarettes. And they are non-veg now, and as expensive as non-veg. You have been in healthcare long enough to know that this country does covert population control and what better tool to do covert population control than cigarettes? Indonesia has cigarettes and people smoke and healthcare mints money, China does the same. But here is the catch. Cigarettes make you feel good for a while. In this land it’s not enough that you die, you have to suffer and die and the more you suffer the better it is. I don‘t eat non-veg on Thursday and now as my family is turning Brahmin, I can‘t eat non-veg Monday, Tuesday and Saturday. Jumma is safe I’d suppose. Though I don’t give a shit about any of it. Cigarettes are non-veg now. Freud would have equated it with a blowjob, but then he corrected himself, “sometimes a cigar is just a cigar”, and he was the expert so he was the authority on judging whether he had an oral fixation or not. He dies by oral cancer. Gutka Kings of Uttar Pradesh getting richer day by day, buying Mercedes and Audi while people are going crazy painting the town red. When I was a kid I got myself a Nintendo bootleg for the price of two cigarette packs of today, even today I can get a bunch of games on Steam for the same price. And it’s not about quitting. It’s about cigarettes becoming non-veg.  I stand in front of bathroom mirror, looking at myself standing in a fog of smoke like a noir detective, actually I'm hiding from my wife and she would suspect something is off when she smells room freshener in the bathroom. I try to see in the future seeing impeding lung or mouth cancer or emphysema but at least death then will be on my own terms which is rare in this country. Cigarettes are non-veg now, well, rape should be non-veg but then that’s just my opinion.

Return The Slab

Suffering is terrible if one doesn’t know its reason. Suffering is worse if it is devoid of meaning. That’s what old shayars  did, they might not know the reason behind their suffering but they sure did find meaning in it. What would Johnny Quest think about the ghazals the shayars wrote, and the singers sang. Hadji would have a thing or two to say about it. What would Bhallaladeva know about suffering? What would Bahubali know about the meaning? Mahishmati changes, with every administration though the best time to visit is during Bhallaladeva’s reign. The weather is good but you can‘t feel it on your skin, and things can‘t get any worse than this. And since things can‘t get worse the worst case scenario turns out to be the best case scenario. Courage sees Muriel in trouble and AR 15 ends up being the only answer. It didn't have to, but there is nothing Courage can do about it. The Unabomber sleeps tightly in his prison cell, knowing that he was in a prison even when he was outside. Prison in a prison in a prison. Bhallaladeva  cracks his whip on workers pulling huge stones for his massive statue, Unabomber sees it through his mind’s eye and smiles. He would’ve sent anthrax laced envelopes to Bhallaladeva but he doesn't care anymore he has already done enough, now he picks up soap in the jail bathroom and then goes to his solitary confinement. Threats are getting bigger and Courage loves Muriel too much. He is thinking of getting a mini gun. Johnny Quest doesn’t trust Hadji anymore after getting scammed by Rnicrosoft. Hadji orders Axe Africa 3 in 1 body wash that is for sale in every place except for Europe, paraben free. Cypher mocks Neo while he tastes the juicy steak. Neo is trapped in a cycle of rebirth. Trinity is gone forever and Morpheus is now gender fluid. Neo knows what suffering is. It’s being trapped in a cycle of rebirth. It’s a feeling of being buried alive. Satis of India know what it was like to be burnt alive and so did the women who committed Johar. Being buried alive is a new thing. Threats have overwhelmed Muriel, Eustace is long dead and she commits Johar. Courage sees that, gets his samurai sword from his kennel and commits seppuku there and then.

Write Concepts #28

I think I have written enough and mostly don't need to write much anymore. I wanted my body of work to be about health and medicine and fiction but I ended up writing about psychosocial and sociopolitical realities of the country we live in. I have my plans of writing the novels, novellas, short stories and flash fiction that I have already conceptualized and if my cognitive bandwidth allows I will execute my plans. I don't do poetry anymore, at least not of the public sort and I'm kind of done with psychosocial and sociopolitical writing and will be using this place for them very infrequently from now on. I want to focus on my first love that is fiction but that depends on my cognitive bandwidth. Two things that I might post on this blog other than infrequent psychosocial and sociopolitical writings, are gonzo and prose poetry and I hope to write a couple of prose poems and one gonzo per week. I'm not giving up on fiction, I just realised that I am more incapable of writing it from the imagination point of view than I was in 2013. And although I might churn out a bunch of flash fiction once in a while, short stories, novellas and novels need planning and dedication, and above all imagination which is hard to find in the current political economy. My output then is going to be a bunch of flash fiction once in a while and a couple of prose poems and gonzo a week. I will try to work on the novellas I'm already working on and have started posting on my fiction blog. 

Vyomanaut

The space, the universe, is something that I was genuinely interested in. I grew up with TV serials on Doordarshan, like Brahmand, The Great Experiments and Captain Vyom and magazines like Vigyan Pragati. Developing scientific temper is one of the fundamental duties in the constitution. I read books like Children's Knowledge Bank and Encyclopedia Britannica was sold those days by traveling salesmen. In the Matrix the machines designed the Matrix to simulate the late 90s and it was inferred in the movie that it was the peak of human civilization. Looking at the present it seems true. In Matrix humans were farmed for electricity and today the resource is data. This realisation didn't have the capacity to surprise me until I realised how invasive this data farming and mining is. The Kafkaesque scenarios that began in my life in 2013, and on retrospection at a low intensity since quite before that, and I realised all four things that I had aligned myself to: my religion, my culture, the civilization and the constitution have been defiled and just exist as a programming and while one can trip on existence of these things, this is the bottom line. I still think Indian constitution is one of the most beautiful documents in the world, though I am not very savvy about the civilization, the culture and the religion anymore as they don't retain the depth and warmth of earlier days and are only present as dogma and a hyperreality. When I had my realisations I decided to align myself to nature. I am a homeopath by training and it's the art and science I have dedicated my life to, and it is in itself is about aligning yourself to nature. Gentle healing arts don't survive in a setting of making people sick and then selling them the cure. In the early 2000s when I was watching Discovery channel shows and The Jetsons I had really thought we will have flying cars today but instead we ended up getting a prison with a panopticon. This realisation when it struck me, failed to surprise me and this is because I had been seeing the truth of this nation throughout my life it's just that I chose to believe in the national narrative while ignoring the truth that I saw with my own eyes. The space or the universe is out of reach of majority and going to space for common people would be not unlike girmitias going to West Indian sugarcane fields. When one realises the truth of the situation it becomes increasingly important to have fun. Grow flowering and fruit plants in your balcony, get that griller from Amazon and make chicken or if you are vegetarian, paneer tikka in amidst your garden in balcony. Freedom is foreclosed for the majority, and needless hustle except when it comes to money, is futile. I write diagnoses because I like to let people know what's wrong lest they blame themselves. Since mid 2010s I follow the rule of only helping people when they ask for help, and this is the way to go in this country. If I write two things that this country is run with in the depth, they would be hypocrisy and jealousy and this is a deep policy decision, it is intentional. The depth of existence in this land is the same as driving on the road the only difference is that on the road you can see the assholes coming at you with Thar, Fortuner or Scorpio. Discovery channel promised flying cars and this country delivered Thar, Fortuner and Scorpio.

Oregano

When I realised that deep adminstration of this nation relies on petty things like preventing people from eating foreign food items like pizzas and croissants bought from their own money and gatekeeping them from Western media and music, it changed my worldview completely. You see symptoms of this on Instagram, people drinking matcha and calling croissants Prashant and while it is a laughing matter, things can get quite serious about these things. When I realised the arrangement it is then I realised why poor people do not go to Pizza Hut or Dominos or McDonalds, I ended up realising that reason is not purely financial. It gave me insights into the kind of individuals who rule this nation are, no not the government, but those who actually rule this nation. It is then I decided to align myself to two things that are free of co-optation and hegemony, that is the nature and the night sky. Exploitation and persecution can be retrospective and so all that you have bought, experiencd and learned and gotten entertained from can be presented as favours despite it being result of hard work of your family so it makes all kinds of pop culture and material comfort redundant. What remains without any blemishes is, however, the nature and night sky. Take heritage hotels for example. People go to these hotels, pay for them, to experience a particular lifestyle for as many days they have paid for, the same applies to five star hotels but the way this nation operates you have to treat them as a pilgrimage and put it on social media. This country doesn't even know how to do capitalism properly. If I talk personally I haven't really had any material ambitions except for financial security of my family and this is why probably I was able to see through this bullshit. My idea of a good time is sitting in a goan taverna drinking chilled beer, and discuss pop culture like comic book movies with friends. I don't really like upscale pubs except those which play rock music, like Hard Rock café and there was one which I wanted to visit during my college days and which shut down called Blue Frog. It's curious that indigenous rock music is totally extinct from the national narrative and is now only accessible in upscale pubs and concerts. It's sad because I'm a hardcore rock fan and have followed Indian and Pakistani rock bands since my teenage.

Write Concepts #27

In the late 2000s and early 2010s I wanted to be a novelist. I had my ideas about my first novel and at present if you'd ask me about the kind of novels I would want to write my answer will be literary quality pulp novels. From early 2010s to now I realised that novels are structurally impossible in this nation now except for rich housewives. Or maybe it's just for me, but I don't see many novels in popular culture since the early 2010s. I was motivated back in the day and I could've written the stories that I wanted but I was waiting to get better and I realise that that time never really arrives. I have my cognitive handicaps but then I see social media, Facebook, Instagram and X and see that majority of artists are rehashing their old works instead of creating something new. I have plans of two or three novels and a couple of novellas and a bunch of short stories and flash fiction and I am hoping that despite my cognitive decline in the past decade I am able to execute the plans. I have stopped writing poetry because I am not as romantic as I used to be before and at present my poems are just for one muse. I, however, write prose poetry based on my experiences and imagination which more often turns out to be surrealistic and with political subtext but I don't need to fret because all art is political and unfortunately all life too. I have seen and experienced kafkaesque scenarios and when that happens to a person regularly they first see the biopolitics of the world and then their eyes open to the necropolitics of the world. It's hard to find good stories anymore except the ones that I have already read, but since I love comics, graphic novels and superhero movies I keep myself occupied with entertainment whenever I feel the need to get entertained. I wanted to be pulp-literary novelist and a comic book writer and I recently saw a doctor, an ophthalmologist, writing Hindi comics though I have realised that time of comics in this nation has passed and I say this because in the past decade I got acquainted to the root of all problems in this nation. Though whoever is getting involved with indigenous comics has my best wishes.

C Major

There are things that you do for money, that is your professional competencies which you become better at by doing and then there are things that you are interested in and are naturally good at. The trick is to never desert things that you are naturally good at and to practice them daily. It's better to have more than one professional competency, I have two. You might be average at your professional competencies but things that you are naturally good at prevent you from exploitation and that's why regular practice of what you are already good at, what comes naturally to you, is important. Artificial Intelligence has made a lot of things redundant but that is isn't an excuse for being lax about your competence. AI art can never match the real art. AI writing, although grammatically accurate can never have the soul, struggle and pain of real writing. The most important thing is to never be demotivated by family about what you do. Family is the only entity that genuinely loves you for you are but they don't know who and what you are exactly, what they know however is how the world works through their experiences and accordingly they tell you what they think is the best for you. I have taken advice from family about my life, I did what they wanted me to do, but I made sure that I also do what I really wanted to do even if there is less time for it. This helps you in not being bitter. A person who ignores himself for others, takes advice from others be it even their family, is seldom content and ends up being better. Do what makes you happy even if the time you get for doing it is half an hour. In modern times knowing one thing is extremely important, the old method of repetition making you good at something doesn't apply anymore. It is why individuals diagnosed with dyslexia or ADHD fail to be better at the things they do. Being diagnosed as dyslexic is a privilege, most of the people who suffer from dyslexia are seen as incompetent just like most of the people suffering with mental health issues are seen problematic. Mental health issues mostly affect good people because they refuse to make others the victim of their suffering. The core of this nation is demonic and it wants you to propagate your suffering though one can choose to have catharsis in a controlled environment and choose to sublimate their suffering in higher forms. Repetition only helps in becoming better if it is done mindfully and that too only if there is not a neurological component to it. However try to read or if you can't read try to be aware of the world around you through social media. Awareness is the key to not to get exploited.

PlinkIt

Identity can be a tricky thing. I have always been sure of my identity but I have also seen what an identity crisis looks like. I focus on bottom line truths of this nation which can also be bottom line truths of the world and the bottom line truth about the question of identity in this nation is: your family. This is where you should derive your identity from. The nation will try to confuse you about your identity and if you are from backward places like Purvanchal, Bihar or Jharkhand, or for that matter any place else caste will play an important role in determining your identity. You have to be clear that that your caste is more or less a community of shared culture and habits. In places like Purvanchal, castes are used as covert rape gangs. After my return to Purvanchal, I realised that while everything looks fine on the surface in Purvanchal, the core of existence is rape which is brilliantly hidden by religion and performance of culture, which is more or less dead by now except as a hyperreality and the same can be said for the rest of the country too. At the core this country has Pakistan style feudal and tribal mindset which I would assume has been learnt from the tribals (and no, not the Jharkhand or North East kind), first thing to do when you get power is giving yourself the right to rape people. I am an Indian and Purvanchali and I know my culture intimately and I know that my culture is not tribal, it is or was a highly intricate, refined and sophisticated culture and mode of being, which by now has been totally destroyed. Exploitation psychology is rampant and I am sure by now that true friendship is not really possible in this country anymore unless you really click and instinctively decide to sacrifice for each other. Caste at this point is just a technology for divide and rule and, eugenics and discrimination but I ended up realising that in this country it flows from a deeper place, deeper even than the government. Casteism is in the bones of these motherfuckers and is irreversible. The word feudal represents to me a sort class, but unfortunately these classless motherfuckers are essentially mafias and not even the Yakuza kind. All bets were off for me when I saw rape as the core of existence, external spiritual drama matters shit to me. Misogyny is rampant, and I used to wonder how can these motherfuckers hate women when they consider them inferior until I realised that it is inherent and deeply entrenched in their bones and for no reason at all. I realise that lower class women of Purvanchal are actively deprived of nutrition and nutritious food and as much as I love my region I realised that in past twenty years it has been made into a gutter. One important thing that you should always remember is to retain your personal faith, it helps you channelize your will and helps you in tough times; it doesn't matter whether God exists or not. 

Soorajmukhi

People can trip on ideas all they want but my focus remains on bottom lines. It is midway through my college that I realised that this country is linguistically stratified and that English is not just a language but a mode of being in this country. To me English is just a language and despite being a colonial language it is one of my favourite languages because because it is the most traveled language, most of the literature in the world is in English and it brings cultures together as it is the lingua franca of the world. The best part of English is that it allows for naming exploitation happening with you which the working Hindi, the Hindi of common people has been disarmed with. My grandfather spoke a mix of administrative, literary and shudh Hindi. In all respects it was Shudh Hindi but shudh Hindi, if you speak, you become an object of ridicule. How odd it is, isn't it. In a majority Hindu nation Shudh Hindi is ridiculed and persianised Hindi is what people think of as classy. Hindi tinged with colloquial affectations is still fine. I gravitate towards literary Hindi because I know that writers, except propagandists, are mostly good people. Literary Hindi has been murdered in this nation. I write my blogs in English because if I wrote them in Hindi no one would read them. I don't believe in linguistic chauvinism and I think Urdu is a beautiful language, and it is indigenous to India, but it is beautiful because Muslims ruled India and made it beautiful, made its register high. Shudh or even literary Hindi is a highly evolved language and it has been disarmed of its emotional component and now it is not even in the common narrative except being in the administrative documents of North Indian states. Here is an assignment: Go on YouTube and search for the song Soorajmukhi by Bhupinder Singh, listen to it. You would get what I am saying about disarming of emotional component. As far as colloquial languages go, they are at the bottom. I wouldn't even say that my mother tongue bhojpuri has been destroyed, I would say it has been raped. And it all happend since the economic liberalisation of this country. I don't know whether what rules this country is extremely evil or extremely incompetent.

Worthshastra

I was optimistic about this nation in the late 2000s. I am a believer in the constitution though as one matures and see the practicality of life one realises that constitution doesn't mean much though Indian constitution is one of the most beautiful documents in the world. The drama in this nation will go on and you have to prioritise, the baseline are your money, your family, your job, nature and the night sky. Everything else you can be made to pay interest on and while you can be made to pay interest on the things I mentioned before, one doesn't really mind paying interest for the family. It is by late 2010s I realised that casteism in this country is here to stay permanently because it is entrenched deep in the system and those who do the deep adminstration of people's lives have have casteism somatised in their bodies. Somatisation is a process in which a psychological idea gets embedded in your nerves and muscles and there is no reversal for it. This country doesn't really have an intelligence establishment, the main mode of intelligence as well as providential administration is feudal-corporate and I have no idea if it merges with the government or not. This feudal-corporate intelligence cum providence is composed of rape and grooming gangs and is arranged in a decentralised multilevel fashion in the country with I would hope, oligarchs of this country at the top. I had read news about children of Iranian elites, who do not follow the religion and own lamborghinis, and I was able to witness the same with this country and although I had no business with it I mention it because I saw a rabid dog impunity which I think is worth mentioning. The indigenous religion has been completely defiled and from what I have seen there is no recovery for it because as I have seen it religion is directly connected to the mafia that runs your locality. Your local town, local godmen, mafia, businessmen and politicians and they connect to the bigger daddies in multilevel fashion and while this sounds filmy unfortunately it is true. Rape, I ended up realising through my experiences is the primary mode of being. The folk culture and it's refinement and refined culture of the middle classes have been totally destroyed by now. The kavi sammelans, Hindi literature, folk expressions all have ended and you know they have ended because they would have been present on social media if they existed. These motherfuckers are destroying the registers in which people converse, destroying dignity of life, destroying contentment, traditions, cultures while hoarding aesthetics for themselves. They destroy refinement in the lower classes and then discriminate with them for lack of refinement. The level of retardation that I ended up seeing was baffling. I have nothing to lose because my culture, except as a hyperreality, has been destroyed by now. Languages like Hindi have been left impotent with no way to name exploitation. At present it is just rape and a cycle of production and consumption at the base. My personal belief is that there is no point in ordering quick commerce or food delivery for convenience if you are not content, which is a far cry. I'd rather take pleasure and feel meaning in making pots on a pottery wheel and be called a kumhar. The media ecosystem is filled with industry plants and political props, indigenous myth-making has collpased and so has the comic book industry while one gets voyeuristic crime dramas or shitty movies to watch as from a lot of people Western media is actively gatekept.

Muktibodh

You smell death at the ghats of Ganga. Bodies burning. People achieving mukti. Mukti from what? That's the whole thing. Many philosophers have have pondered if Earth is hell? What is hell actually? For good people hell is their conscience, but what is hell actually? Dr. Faustus is the story of Dr. John Faustus, a brilliant scholar who becomes dissatisfied with the limits of ordinary human knowledge. Desiring unlimited power, wealth, knowledge, and pleasure, he turns to magic and makes a pact with Lucifer. In exchange for his soul, the demon Mephistopheles serves him for twenty-four years. Faustus spends these years using supernatural powers for amusement, travel, and personal glory rather than achieving anything truly meaningful. Although he repeatedly thinks about repenting and seeking God’s mercy, his pride, fear, and attachment to worldly pleasures prevent him from breaking the pact. As the twenty-four years come to an end, Faustus becomes terrified of his approaching damnation. He desperately wishes to escape his fate, but it is too late. At midnight, devils arrive and carry his soul away to Hell. The tragedy of Dr. Faustus lies in his desire to transcend human limitations and his failure to recognize the value of repentance until the final moment. It explores ambition, temptation, free will, knowledge, sin, and the consequences of making a destructive bargain. 

You read the story. Now imagine what kind of a person would conceive this story? There are a few possibilities but this is a fun thought experiment. I due to the nature of my work meet people who live in hell. A majority of them, good people with capacity of goodness. I live in a subjective hell and I enjoy it especially when the movies and television of this country has started sucking ass. I am an atheist but I also have faith at a personal level, my idea of heaven is dying and ending up in the womb of the primordial mother forever. People have their ideas of hell and heaven and personally I think hell can't be worse than what I have seen and experienced on earth though I am open for surprises. I have seen the mechanism of sending innocent people to hell and like the biblical devil it's not even through temptation. I live in a subjective hell and I have lived in for quite long though despite this I have never lost my objective perception of the world. I have not seen the famed two girls one cup but I have heard about it. But since I have known hell intimately I know that reality is way worse. I have been in hell since long before I had the capacity to make a Faustian bargain and my personality is not the kind that would make a Faustian bargain. I am not built like that. My hell was my conscience and when I ended up seeing that conscience of totally innocent people can be weaponised against them that hell dissipated. My hell subjective and real as far as suffering is concerned but it's potency has decreased significantly when I realised the hell is mostly feudal in nature. One of my childhood heroes Anant Kushwaha, the editor of Balhans had prepared me for it. Such heroes are either all dead, or have faded into obscurity. It baffled my mind that idealistic people living on their ideals, quietly doing their work, are sent to hells by impune, spoiled and degenerate scum but I know the history well enough to know that this has been the arrangement since forever. I prefer biblical hell to feudal or Black Mirror kind of technofeudal hell because I like my hell to have a lore. There is no mukti except death. And the more you understand the world and history the more you realise that this mukti is like the mukti of chicken kept at a butcher's shop. 

Saanson Ki Zaroorat

Anyone who remembers 90s remembers that culture was real-time back then, even in small towns. Nadeem Shravan songs released and everyone used to listen to them be it the rich or the poor, the rich also used to listen Western pop and rock music because they had access to it but at least the culture was real-time. Economic liberalisation in India began in 1991 under Prime Minister P.V. Narasimha Rao and Finance Minister Dr. Manmohan Singh and by the late 90s early 2000s there started to be a temporal distance between the culture of lower classes and the rich. Even today the privileged listen to Karan Aujla and AP Dhillon and the lower classes no matter their age listen to 90s music. There is a temporal difference between the mode of existence of the rich and the lower classes. Indians are an emotional breed, or they were before they turned into scammers. Gadar 2 still became a hit. David Dhawan movies, except the new movies, are still popular. And while I think entertainment of all kind must exist, even voyeuristic, hyperreal crap like Mirzapur and Patal Lok that only show the "reality" and offer no solutions to that reality, people must have options. These motherfuckers can make a Gadar, they can make a Sajan Chale Sasural and seeing the success of Gadar 2, it is possible that they will give returns, but they don't. The rich stick to latest Hollywood and Western music, while the poor stick to the the 90s Kumar Sanu and people like me stick to the late 2000s early 2010s Pakistani Rock bands and bollywood music which was not only subjectively but in my opinion objectively great. What do people want? Employment, spending time with their family and good entertainment and this nation deprives them even of these basics. After weaponisation of relationships, there is only one thing that remains in this nation, money. Retired Army officers are being scammed through digital arrests. I understand the age factor, but how can an Army officer can get scammed by digital arrest is the question. This country has collpased internally although it will never collpase externally because good people do the load bearing of this nation voluntarily or if they wake up, through existential blackmail while criminals do anything they want with their lives. 

Fugly

A person, man or woman, needs an anchor in their life. For a large majority of people that anchor is their family. Family has been my anchor but not overtly and there is a reason behind it. I grew up during the Star Movies era, there were movies in which you saw children in Hollywood movies as paper boys and generally also 2000s was about becoming independent as soon as possible and so I wanted to become independent as soon as possible, not that you desert your family, but become independent as soon as possible. Unfortunately I ended up studying medicine which takes time in making you independent, but mentally I was independent as soon as I turned eighteen. The days of MTV Select passed and now even though people want to become independent, those times, that window of aspiring to become independent has disappeared completely and now it's all about who your daddy is. How do you end up realising that the nation is run by not the government but a few families from regional to the national level? When it becomes all about your family. These days it is all about your family. You wouldn't have cared less about your family when your were independent from your family's identity making a name for yourself during the Star Movies and MTV Select days, but now you have to sacrifice your individuality for the name of your family to prove that you don't care less about them or you are not ashamed of them? Who the fuck is ashamed of their family? I have seen the world quite a bit in the past twenty years and I know that there are people who actually are ashamed of their families and not like their families are criminals, it's just that they don't fit in the modern society and follow the old ways. This is how enlightenment happens, it happens when the things you didn't think were possible confront you and you have to accept them, like "kanjoos makkhichoos", it seems like a hyperbole, but maturity is realising that there actually exist people who would drink their tea when a fly drowns in it but also suck the fly before throwing it away. America is the most visible nation on the social media and you see Americans, each an individual, expressing their individuality while acknowledging their families. In India, it seems that families kill the individuality of their children but if you look closer it's not the families, it's the system. A system making your individuality impotent differs from you sacrificing your individuality for your family. I did the latter so I don't have any regrets and actually I am absolutely content but a lot of kids get their individuality crushed by the system, through their families. The more you look at the nation we live in the uglier it gets. I wear boxers and T-shirt at home and checked shirt and trousers outside, but I keep the modules of my individuality and I follow my interests. I watch Baiju Dharmajan playing Carnatic metal on YouTube, I check out cafè racers on Tumblr, I watch freestyle motocross reels on Instagram. I have a tattoo of Japanese kanji spelling Ronin on my chest, and I wear my figurative leather jacket inside my checked shirt. It's a crushing machine, that crushes your individuality, your dreams, so that you become that frustrated uncle and aunty that you hate. I won't become that, but a lot of others whose individuality and dreams got crushed by the system run by greedy oldies, their litter and the criminals employed by them, will. 

Write Concepts #26

I think long and hard about the kind of things that I want to write about. It's hard to be able to hit the spot in this political economy in the things you want to write about. My writing style if I talk about modern writers, as far as I have seen, is close to China Mieville and Caitlin R. Kiernan which is too much to ask in the modern Indian political economy. Writing is anyway redundant and indigenous myth-making has collapsed. There are some comic book hobbyist trying to make collections of old Indian comics on Facebook but I don't think it is going to last long. You go on Facebook and find a lot of comic book readers who used to read comics in Hindi can't even express themselves properly even in Hindi, survival does that to you. I wanted to experiment with mythofiction, yes, like Kalki 2898 AD, but then I ended up realising the base of the polity is rape, and mythology, mythofiction and rape don't go together, though the itch of mythofiction might end up making me write a bunch of mythofiction short stories. My favourite superheroes are John Constantine and The Punisher, though I like all the superheroes, each one of them, but comics in India is dead by now and the way this country is going it doesn't matter if it's dead. I have found the singularity in the genres I want to write in though I have realised by now that good never wins and although one can make-believe if one is privileged enough, this make-believe is not for everyone. Books have anyway stopped coming out mostly and now campy romances are also useless because the way this country is evolving one has to get license for romance and anyway there is no romance without dignity. What is left are privileged rich housewives pumping books that have that elaborate privileged struggle, and don't get me wrong any struggle is struggle it's just not my thing, and poverty porn. I am glad that comics are dead, it is one of my favourite mediums of storytelling and it's great that they are dead in this shithole of a country. And anyway they are so expensive that very few people can afford them, yes, even the indigenous ones. The only true entertainment this country deserves is that in which there is a bhabhi waiting for you 2 kms away. Helps in sleeping good. Isn't it? 

Bread and Butter

I have no idea how deep states of other regions operate but I have idea about Purvanchal, and although the regions are connected modus operandi changes depends upon the cultural machine. Purvanchal deep state uses a method which I call breadcrumbing, though it is different from the popular breadcrumbing. In this version of breadcrumbing people are made to transgress their conscience or do things throughout their lives so that they can be exploited or blackmailed on the basis of them. There is also perpetual gaslighting where you have a vague feeling of having done something wrong but what wrong you have done is never disclosed and you are perpetually made to feel guilty on small things and then that guilt is exploited. Guilt-tripping, gaslighting, intimidation, blackmail, victim blaming, blame shifting and credit stealing are rampant and done at a very intimate level where most people think that God resides. Most people aren't even aware that there is a mode of existence, a level of existence beyond this level too because that requires knowing oneself thoroughly and self-knowledge only comes through knowledge and awareness and watching oneself closely and the saddest thing of it all is that the process of knowing oneself can be sabotaged too so that what one knows as their self might not be their self at all. In the past decade I have realised that Purvanchal at the psychological plane is mafia dictatorship with rape as its core and the deep state of this country is essentially a criminal syndicate with a layer of religion, culture and administration. What I witnessed is impunity, doing anything to anyone and this turns into that person's fate. Here is the deal, however good you are, however talented you are, if a person having a status of not more than a rickshawala has access and control to your life, mind and body everything becomes redundant. Dignity is hard to come by in that situation because the top weaponises criminals and rapists of genocidal intent towards the middle and lower classes and they always play on the offensive and they are careless about lives of people because as I have seen it, they don't have any consideration about lives of people. People are made to carry the delusions and cognitive dissonances of these motherfuckers. The setup of the deep state is inverted, instead of good people knowing how criminals function it's criminals knowing how good people function and their lives are casually interfered with and conspiracies are hatched. The most unfortunate part is that these bastards entitled as well as incompetent and only permanent residents of the land people live in are their daddies while everyone else is a tenant meant to be exploited. The setup itself is of exploitation, rape, manipulation, social engineering and eugenics. And the level things happen to people at is the level of existence people are aware about there is only one level after that but delusions keep them from accessing that level and becoming self-aware. In short people are sentient automatons being fed nerve impulses and manipulated through Pavlovian psychology of fear, desire and baits while breeding them through eugenics. There is a lot to the world, there are a lot of complex, refined things but this is the bottom line truth of this country.

Shrine Flush

Castles in the air. Someone looks up and Urvashi is dropped for the sage doing tapsaya from the castles in the air. The sage opens his eyes, Urvashi wears a perfume, roses, jasmine and all the good things, a mishti doi galaxy flows from Urvashi's consciousness to the sage's. A love like honey, thick, viscous, and unlike honey vicious. Bajirao has been having a hard time with his mastani. Megalomania has no cure and the sage ever since the honey pot left him dejected, has been trying to save scorpions but that's the deal about sages and scorpions, the sage will try to save scorpions and the scorpions would sting him, everyone is a slave of their nature. One realises that there was never a Bajirao, because if he was there wouldn't have been castles in the air and they wouldn't be dropping femme fatales for noir detectives who play by own rules after getting disillusioned by the laws and rules of the world. A cynical detective who plays by his own rules still plays by the law and rules of the world and it is because cynicism is a disappointed idealism and everyone is a slave of their nature. What is the difference between a whore and a shrine? Both are pimped for a moment or two of peace, that's the similarity, there is no difference; both smell good. What if your village is ravaged and razed to the ground, what would you do? Would you plan on taking a revenge? Or would you cultivate your own garden knowing that it's time too is coming. Bottle gourds from your garden, ladies finger, brinjal, lemon and all the other things taste great and you have a timer in your heart knowing the soon your kitchen garden too would be razed to the ground just like your village was. You meet a rape victim and tell her "God does everything for a reason". That's more than enough of a consolation. In an ancient civilization that's enough compassion. You see a landfill and the vultures over it. Wrong. The vultures are extinct and Zarathushtra is sad. Those are something else, eagles, kites, crows, something else. The cynical noir detective would say that the world is a landfill and we are the garbage as the predators circles over us in the sky. From where? Castles in the air.

Shitshow Dandiya

There are some things that sound totally batshit crazy and so does the person who talks about them but they need to be written down even if the person who writes these things sounds totally batshit. The deep structure of this nation can be primarily divided into three layers, the top in which those live who live there, the middle composed of criminally insane but quite sane to know what they are doing just at a lesser scale picked from lower classes so that they have ingrained jealousy and hatred for those who are better and better off than them each one of them being a potential genocidal rapist and the bottom layer which is composed of common people. The chief unit of deep "administration", if we can even call it that because there is not much administration involved except elevating the privileged based on some arbitrary rules and oppression and impunity for the rest of the people which strikes them as fate or God's will, is family. Family is the unit that is manipulated and where divide and rule does its real work and not everyone is aware of these designs so the divide and rule works making the individuals in the family weaker and more dispossessed than they were before. These motherfuckers are always on offensive despite having absolute control and with people who are oblivious to their existence. At this point of time these motherfuckers are making people sick and selling them medicines, making people lazy and making them order through quick commerce and food delivery apps, making people dumb and selling them AI. I have seen the needless torture that is inflicted on people and how they are made dispossessed and I have seen how the very core of this land is rape. There is nothing that can be done about it. People who come to know the actual reality unfortunately still have to procreate because, well, the family wants them to procreate. It is essentially slavery perpetuated by technofeudalism just at a level where it looks like fate and the fate of people for the most part is not authentic. Beneath the layer of culture religion and spirituality its tribalism and rape. I write this shit down because I like to give people diagnoses of their suffering, that if shit gets real for them, they know that what happened to them and that it was not their fault and I decided to do this because I know the kind of infinite torture, and for no reason at all, can be inflicted on people and especially the people who are not prepared, who are good and who have no resources, mental, physical, spiritual and intellectual, to save them. The unfortunate part of it all is not that those who perpetuate this are evil, they are in fact absolutely evil, and entitled but that they are extremely incompetent. God is nowhere in the picture except as a prop while the Government does the kind of administration and welfare it does.

EIC

Colonization whether it be of a country or person or intimate life of a person works by invalidating the history. Personal colonization works by invalidating a person's lived life, experiences and past. Such people go around seeking validation from others because they are not aware of substance in their own lives and a lot of people are prevented from cultivating substance in their lives so that they can be made dispossessed and can be stripped of agency by imvoking pervious lack of substance and agency. The British colonised India not only by having gunpowder and canons but also by showing friendliness and then occupying territories by invoking arbitrary rules pulled straight out of their assholes and gullible Indians fell for it. It's the same now it's just that oligarchs are the new British, the seat of colonisation are the bodies and minds of people who are, depending on the level of their privilege, denied their own authentic experiences and meaning is drained from their lives. These things are not a big deal it's just that for acting on this things and enforcing these things on totally helpless people who are oblivious to these designs and just want to live their lives with their family one has to be demonic level of evil. If one realises that there life has been colonised what can be done is the question here. There is not much that can be done except trying, and it takes a lot of refined effort, to salvage what remains of their autonomy and try to cultivate substance in their lives depending on their inclination. Prioritisation is of key importance and the bottom line prioritisation is money, family, work and your arts and skill and alignment with nature. Being updated on current affairs of prime importance because what colonizes lives of people depends on ignorance and lack of knowledge and awareness of people and the more the ignorance and lack of knowledge and awareness more is are the chances of being a victim of predation because setup in this country is quite direct. Being aware doesn't really save you from your fate, but knowing what is happening to you at least gives you peace and closure about your fate.

Shore

A lot of times in my writing I deal with bottom lines. It's because bottom lines matter to me. I think about where you would reach in this country if you are a believer of minding your own business, doing your job honestly and diligently and taking care of your family. The truth is you'll reach nowhere. I don't like not being sure and I prefer surety of doom over unsure future. The problem in this nation is if you are a good person you'll always be unsure of your life of your future but sometimes you end up seeing the invisible system and it is where surety of doom comes in picture. Once the unknown has made sense, all the anxiety goes away. You realise God doesn't really exists, at least not of the kind we grew up believing in. If at all God exists, He or She is passive and evil is active and you have to derive your own strength from the passive God through your faith like drawing water from a well. In a political sense, you realise that this country doesn't exist and government is just an illusion and just an arm of the kleptocratic technofeudal oligarchs and it has to keep doing the bare minimum to keep the illusion. You realise that it's zero sum game in which if you are not a part of the system you lose everything and the one those who run the system gain everything. That this country is not a democracy but a technofeudal combination of numerous principalities where you carry the hierarchy of your principality wherever you go in the nation or the world. You, as you navigate the reality of this nation with people having different levels of knowledge and awareness, realise that those who are in power would do anything to retain their power and life of common people doesn't really matter, in fact they are actively preyed on from a level where most people think God resides. The machinery is shapeshifting in nature so everyone makes out or are given different reasons for their suffering, the origin of suffering might be local or can be relegated to diffrent part of the nation or the world and walks with the person and victim blaming, blame shifting and credit stealing are rampant. When one realises these things only the most authentic mode of being remains, things that can't be trademarked, nature and the night sky. In the past decade I ended up realising that what actually rules this country is not only predatory and entitled but also embarrassingly incompetent. This is the bottom line and once this is known what remains is intimately holding on to your real faith and having fun.

Beyond Good and Evil

If you read Nietzsche you will be inclined to believe that there is nothing like good and evil but fortunately or unfortunately there is. The world is run on principles and it is run on principles because the ones in power want it to run on principles so that more capable people can't overthrow them. These individuals who are above the glass ceiling, it is for them good and evil doesn't matter with one caveat, until there is the threat of their one's own life and property. These individuals can only reject the binary if good and evil because they can afford to otherwise society, cultures and the world needs to define what is good and what is evil. Evil exists, I have seen pure evil in the eyes and externally it just looks like that normal rickshawala or conductor or some corporate employee or any kind of everyman and it is because of existence of pure evil, existence of pure goodness becomes impossible. The dictum is "no rest for the wicked" but it can be translated to no rest for the good. Because evil doesn't suffer their restlessness or anguish but tranfers it to the most helpless and weak individual it can find and this shit is cyclical because by doing so evil feels power and becomes more evil, it's like drug addiction. My theory is that either the world is run by people for whom good and evil doesn't matter, or by extremely evil individuals who employ demonic individuals for crowd control. Evil can become predatory but it seldom becomes sick because it has found a way to channelize its anguish and this anguish arises from definition of good and evil in the world and the society and they cross the threshold between good and evil so often and so much that they become predatory and habituated of the high that they get by oppressing the good and helpless and of course the lower form of evil or criminals are also jealous of goodness because a good man resisted what they couldn't. When you live in a high castle, you are far removed from good and evil, you do what you please and the arrangement is such that the levels below the high castle have to kill each other to climb up the social ladder which in fact in present social scenario is also a myth. Only individuals who have enough dirt on them so that the plug can be pulled on them at anytime climb up the social ladder. The rest are dispensable resources and addicted so misery of the helpless.

Hu Huba!

I like adventure, when I was in school I used to watch, other than "cartoon cartoon" shows of Cartoon Network, animated shows like Dandare, Max Steel and Johnny Quest. When you remember the animated shows of the 90s and early 2000s, go on YouTube and see those shows again you realise that children's programming, no matter how sexually suggestive it was subconsciously, was made by good people. Those guys were absolute heroes. I remember people like Genndy Tartakovsky with the shows he made. You go on YouTube and watch the intro of Batman of The Future also known as Batman Beyond and you get chills. Children shows of Indian origin also had good intent until the late 90s but propaganda was still there just not of a vitriolic kind. Congress has always had good propagandists than BJP. It's mostly because of experience and also because the good artists of the right wing are also good people and would directly refuse to make propaganda. BJP was supposed to follow the philosophy of Deendayal Upadhyay, and not surveillance capitalism. You can check out the philosophy on Wikipedia. Shyama Prasad Mukherjee and Deen Dayal Upadhyaya were the two big daddies of what later became BJP and this party ended up forgetting their own daddies. If you study integral humanism you would realise that Deendayal Upadhyaya had taken care of every need of an individual and the society and all the Indian sensibilities in his philosophy but what we ended up getting is necropolitics and one can't even blame BJP because necropolitics had been going on since Congress times it's just that Congress was good at hiding it with propaganda and their propagandists are of international calibre, and anyway the way it's clear by now that the machine works by itself and being in power just helps you funnel the money in your account which is okay until one realises that it is at expense of literal lives of the innocents. Children's programming has deteriorated and evolved into something that would make them self-centred which is actually the metaphysical design of this country and the world, like a colosseum one has to kill another person to move forward and if one hesitates then it's bye bye. I grew up on good media and I don't even want to call it media, they were just magazines, comic books and shows. When you reach adulthood you realise that good never wins; but good does one thing evil can never do, sleep peacefully at night and good also doesn't have to watch over its shoulders all the time. 

Sapling

Compartmentalisation is a neat trick to manage one's mind. I used to rely heavily on compartmentalisation until heavy stress acted like a mixer grinder and my compartments were dismantled though a good habit is as hard to break as a bad habit so the jumbled up compartments fell back in their place once the stressful situation passed. I write publicly for a couple of reasons, one I want to bring awareness about what I know is going on in this country, I do not care about the world though I care about the earth, two, I like being creative and practice an art and writing is the art I have chosen and the basic reasons behind my writing are to make people aware and informed, sometimes to make them feel warmth in a society that is turning cold and transactional, to retain and preserve the older styles of written expression and sometimes to entertain them. Though in the past decade I have increasingly realised the fact that writing as well as reading is redundant now. Though reading expands consciousness in more than one way and writing lets us make sense of our own interiority. When I realised that the standard mode of existence in this country is living without dignity my life became easier though it is my belief that dignity just like honour is within the person and someone can try to humiliate you and rob your dignity but they can't really take it permanently. A dignified and honourable life is a way of life. I sometime ago had decided that I would use this blog for gonzo journalism, it's a style of writing that matches my style though I still have to work on the nitty gritty of gonzo to do it right other than that, on this blog, I'd go for prose poetry. My prose poetry ends up turning surrealistic and violent some times and it's not because I am violent, it is because this country is extremely violent beneath the curfew like existence that we live in. When I started writing more than fifteen years ago, I used to write humorous or slice of life blog posts, poems and short stories and I wanted to write an adventure novel dealing with supernatural elements and was preparing for it. Then in the early 2010s the political and socioeconomic environment of this country and the world changed. Fiction is as redundant as non-fiction now though I might end up writing the stories that I have already planned if I have cognitive bandwidth for the same. An important thing that I have learnt in my life is that it doesn't matter what you are or what you want to be, but what you do. It's important to keep oneself busy and practice any art, like I write, or a hobby, like gardening if daily hustle of existence allows it. 

Dali and Kahlo's Centipede

How is it to deal with complexities? Complexities stop to matter once the basics turn out be extremely simple. Basics however simple must be meaningful and once meaning is drained out of them, the complexities stacked on them collapse like a house of cards. You open your eyes and see a rat race and then you find yourself in a cat and mouse game. Who is the cat and who is the mouse is the question. In the end it all ends up becoming Tom and Jerry with meaning drained out of it and the SpongeBob soaking all the meaning in his squarepants. A lot of basic idioms get tested. Like a pig dragging a man to the muck and while the man is hating the muck on his clothes and gets more muck on himself the more he moves the pig enjoys the wrestling. It feels bad to get betrayed by every institution but unfortunately every institution betrays everyone all the time and there is nothing special in it, it's just that people don't know. You however end up knowing one thing, that people aren't robots. They may end up losing depth, but losing depth doesn't mean the end of depth. The depth remains it's just that person operates at a surface level without seeing their true self and if luck permits, which is totally different from fate, one gets to have their long awaited rendezvous with their deeper self. Complexities collpase when the basics are not right. Humans are complex organisms and once it is decided that they are just automatons functioning on pleasure and pain, anomalies are bound to happen once in a while. And when the anomaly happens. House of Cards. The time is going to come when everyone wears Squarepants because Mini-mes are let loose on people, pigs whose only job is to drag people in the muck, wrestle them and enjoy that wrestling. The Mini-mes who snatch people's morsel of food earned from their own hard work from their mouths. Automatons wearing Squarepants everywhere snatching morsels of hard earned food from each other because their hard earned morsel was snatched by the Mini-mes and when they have time from all the snatching they might have a rendezvous with their deeper self. Squarepants might end up with platonic relationships and then the question will arise whether they deserve loving platonically and so the government appoints a committee to decide who deserves to love platonically and a fast track court is setup with evidences against the platonic rebels who refused to go in the depths of vagina and become pimps who naturally evolve, just like a Pokemon, into predators. A shape-shifting hierarchy becomes whatever the fast-track court wants it to be so the man wearing a blazer over is underpants looks at a judges and the judges are experts at seeing things that don't exists, they conjure evidences from thin air. Inkblot test is applied and so finely that Rorschach would be proud. Do people with childhood trauma fail the inkblot test or the ones who inflict childhood trauma do? That's a question for this year UPSC aspirants. God lays in his bed with the goddess massaging his feet munching on a pizza, ordering a ravioli and tiramisu from a food delivery app while an army of inkblot qualified police snatch the morsel from his mouth as Mahabali measures Kashmir to Kanyakumari in one step.

Black Text

One has to go through a kafkaesque nightmare to let the invisible bureaucracy make sense. The world keeps on folding over itself to make sure that there are no free lunches. In my village however, back in the day, there were free lunches. Free lunches are not always incentives, sometimes they are common courtesy and manners too. In the 90s there were bumper dhamakas from the wholesellers to retailers which have become rarer and rarer these days. Businesses have consolidated and no bumper dhamakas are a prime example of climbing up and pulling the ladder. The invisible bureaucracy suddenly start to make sense and then the kafkaesque nightmare loses its potency. The kafkaesque nightmare has to have some style to remain potent and when it fails to uphold the style, there goes all its ambition to become a nightmare. You start with the assumption that you are one of the one and half billion, and how can shit be all about you? Turns out shit is actually all about you. How could it be? Well it is how it is. You see the hyperstratification. People flee from their villages to the city to escape persecution, knowing little that the system walks with them. An intimate blackmail walks with them wherever they go. The village was a prison, the city was a prison, the country is a prison, the planet is a prison. The state of existence that one discovers after, well, coming face to face with reality can only be explained through gnosticism. It doesn't matter though as there is no philosophy except "keep on breathing as long as you can" required in a gulag. Can God be this cruel? Well, you did not complain when women were getting raped and children were getting kidnapped in the 90s? You were busy going to birthday parties and eating cake, mithai, samosa in that silver paper plate and cold drink in that plastic cup. You only came to know there is no order because you directly suffered that there is no order. You saw individuals inferior than you thinking of you as inferior, the only catch is that they want to achieve unachievable superiority over you but they can't because they are inferior to you and thus the unachievable superiority translates into infinite torture to your mind and body, thankfully not the soul because the soul recovers once the delusions are shed. A person who wouldn't sell his soul no matter what ends up retaining his soul as his mind and body get tortured, but in this process every scripture, every morality, every philosophy ends up falsifying itself, what remains in the end is ethological psychology, a Darwinian Pavlovian psychology. You always knew that Hitler if he had gotten into the art school he applied to wouldn't have killed so many people, but then Hitler ended up taking the blame for numerous other Hitlers behind him and in front of him. It's always a scenario of between a rock and hard place. People wouldn't have been talking of gnosticism if the right side had won. People talking of the Matrix are transformers now. Neurons grown in labs now power Artificial Intelligence and one would think where is ethics? There never was. It was just the illusion of ethics. God is the drug, because even after impossible sadism inflicted on body and mind, one ends up thinking what if there is a God? Here is the the thing, if there was a God, he would have intervened by now, unless he really enjoys rape. A person gets raped and their protest is neutralised by a clever argument. Well, it is this easy to neutralize protest of rape, just a clever argument, it doesn't even have to have a basis in truth. The final takeaway? Land and resources are acquired by war and wars are won by domination and once the war is won, this domination flows into the arteries of people. Power and domination then become the ultimate truth of civilization while one wears the blindfold of culture and civilization. I like to know the name of the poison being injected in me. It's all cyclical. Socrates knew it, Jesus knew it, any person sensitive enough to care about humanity knows it. It's Kaliyuga and it's forever. Satyuga is just first class, Kaliyuga is where all the happening thing is. It is here a man turns into a bug while the system sprays pesticide on it. Sometimes it's not that easy getting rid of bugs, especially in a rotten environment and especially when Satyuga has to come to Kaliyuga for catharsis. When Satyuga has to come to Kaliyuga for catharsis, it is here one realises that Kaliyuga is the ultimate truth and it is forever. The leather jacket hangs, and one has to pick it up. Farming was easy and it's nothing personal. The problem arises when farming gets personal. The rot is only manure. The leather jacket has been picked up. It was a long time coming. Some bugs are good, better than viruses at least. It's Mcafee time!

Old School

The Purvanchal deep state that is connected to deep state of this nation is a stool that rests on three legs, one, we will kill you; two, we will rape the women in your family and three, we will kill your family. The best part is that you have to do nothing to come under the radar, well, at least in my case I couldn't find anything out of the line except that I wrote poetry and blogs which might actually be out of the line because I have seen a BHU art professor going cray. Probably because she must have gone deeper into her field and tried to explore surrealism. In my life as I retrospect, I realise that it might be simple, local hate crime. Here is the deal about hate crimes in this country, while you try to live your life peacefully trying to earn enough to feed your family, someone hates you based on whims enough to destroy your family and rape the women in your family and possibility is you don't even know them. I just a few years back had no idea that pajeets are so daring. In some cases however hate crimes are committed and they get out of the hand and escalate so much that the State has to take care of it so one ends up realising that the State is just an extension of these criminal motherfuckers. Now let's talk about the three legged stool, one, we will kill you. This leg has no effect on someone who is not afraid of death. The second and third stool, we will rape the women in your family and we will kill your family are also useless because these bastards are already raping women in your family with the intent of rape and genociding totally innocent families just based on their whims. There is a particular conditioning of the individuals employed in this establishment, like they can destroy the whole world to fuck a women they have eyes on, that's the base intent and they enjoy raping the women of a person's family in front of them. It does sound very familiar even though none of us have actually seen it or had it happening to ourselves. I got acquainted to this arrangement in late 2010s and kept on getting acquainted to it more and more and since I was a firm believer in Indian civilization it was kind of heavy for me to finally reject it completely. It's not God. God was never in the picture. I have seen some personally tough times and it is during those times I came to know about non-existence of God and the power of faith both. Though I find it hilarious that individuals whom you don't even know hate you and, as I realised, for reasons that are not in you but in them. It's a simple case of jealousy and psychological projection. The best thing that I know that the big daddies who run Purvanchal and possibly Bihar too sell people from their region to get humiliated and exploited by Individuals of other regions. Democracy can go on forever if mafia dictatorship has the control of people's souls and fates. Guess it's time to order some cigarettes and chocolate from Blinkit.

ORS

It's just luck if one's life is uneventful but even if one is economically and financially not prepared for events, they must be mentally prepared. I have lived my life according to simple principles like "work hard, party hard" and "do your best and be ready for the worst" and so when the worst struck me I was prepared. It's ultimately all about perception and the attitude, how one sees their problems. The world we live in relies on false facts to propagate itself, facts that can't be denied or falsified but which are also not the truth. When sabotage gets intimate there is a lot of cherry picking and selective omissions and behind these lies an intent of domination. Rape is a form of domination. Domination occupies a lot of space in day to day living but people who are good and focused on their daily problems fail to see it. One of the forms of domination is dominance of narrative. This is the kind of dominance journalists and lawyers thrive on. Proving something that is not true, true. When a person has to be smeared or his character needs to be assassinated, one of the methods used is magnification of the his little faults which by the end up occupying whole of his personality. People end up seeing him for his one vice instead of noticing all the other good things in him. Shit can start with false accusations and the case can be closed through false claims, false evidences and the narrative satisfied through fallacies and sophistry. When a person is targeted his actions are stripped of context and his life is oversimplified like as if humans are simple and not multifaceted. The politics relies on search of faults in a person. When psychosocial existence is concerned there can be given a lot of analogies and metaphors regarding the events picked from one's life and as a person tries to defend himself with reasons and context a lot of counter arguments are given. Politics always wants to simplify people and in a lot of cases oversimplify them and this is done by stripping the contexts and nuance. Psychological domination thrives on multiple meanings, language is the most basic tool of dominance and when one is supposed to be dominated the worst meaning or context for a word is chosen from the multiple meanings of that word. The fun part arrives when these kind of things, these detailed conspiracies are hatched for people who just want to mind their business and do work although the truth is that an invasive machinery is always working to do these kind of things, to deprive people, to isolate them, to make them dispossessed. A lot of people's time gets wasted in clearing false accusations levelled on them, and bombarding false accusations is a great way of wasting people's time and keeping them busy so that they can't focus on growth. You are accused with the help of false facts and you can't disprove it despite knowing that it is not true. The truth is that all these activities are based on lies and people for the most part know the truth about themselves and the world subconsciously. It is important to know your truth and if you know your truth nothing else matters. 

Bodhi Tree

It's important to feel safe. My childhood felt safe because of my grandfather and my adulthood is without personal insecurities. Not everyone feels this safety and security. This is the important part. I have been extremely lucky to gaze into the actual soul of this nation, and while what I write might look paranoid or even crazy to the naive and uninitiated my goal is just bring awareness and leave a record of what I saw. The actual soul of this nation is rape, and this realisation arrives when all the illusions are lifted. Rape is the sociopolitical core of this land from where everything else emanates. The main reason I write on this topic is because I ended up realising that this shit is centralised and existence can end up getting totalising. Rape is a centralised feature and if you identify it sociopolitical, financial, bureaucratic and religious walls start closing in to crush you. I mean what kind of asshole wouldn't do at least something when they realise that rape is a centralised feature and absolute core of the land they used to think of as a civilization. If the rape is the base of existence one can logically conclude that those who control existence at the core are habitual rapists employing more rapists, and of course these rapists would grow old. The truth is that the younger generations of this nation now don't grow old, they regress, and 40 year old men now play videogames instead of contributing to nation building which is absolutely right because there is no nation left to build. Young men are made to regress into their childhoods and unprivileged have their wills broken. There is a line from the song "Gand mein danda" from the band Bodhi Tree, "gaon mein sabun bech raha hai, jhuth hai uska hasna", and this happens only when one's ambitions are broken and they end up doing something that they think is beneath them and there are two reasons behind this, one that there is no dignity in honest labour and dignity of even honest labour is stratified and two this country takes sadistic pleasure in breaking wills of people and making them do things they consider beneath them through existential blackmail. Existence can get totalising if you have a bad luck but this totalisation when it happens gives you a peek into the core, which is rape, and once the core is realised life becomes extremely easy because nothing can get worse than this of course one can't off themselves because they love their family. Above the core of rape there is the financial layer which is composed of debt traps, usury, extortion and pimping and middlemanship. The ones who do real work in this nation suffer tremendously while the pimps do all the business. My grandfather raised me to believe in Indian civilization, believe in Shivaji, Prithviraj Chauhan and Maharana Pratap but after witnessing the core of this civilization I personally reject any such civilization whose core is rape. While the cultures collpase into dogmatic hyperrealities and families and individuals become islands everyone is forced to live through a personalised existential blackmail consuming media which suddenly became a medium of gaslighting once the walls starts closing in. The best part is when I realised that there is regional hegemony within the nation itself, if someone rich doesn't like your face, your family's, community's and culture's history will change in real time retrospectively. Interpretation of religious scriptures and even religious scriptures would change at the whims of burger eating, coke drinking and Sopranos watching motherfuckers. Once one sees this happening and accepts rape as the base reality of this land one steps into absolute freedom. The bottom line is this, zero percent autonomy and more than hundred percent accountability and responsibility for one's thoughts, speech and actions for the majority while they are deluded and their wills broken will no scope for individuality and no space for a soul within them while they become a drone in the setup production, consumption and extraction as love acts as a leash and an existential blackmail.

Kachra Peti

It is important to be able to imagine different worlds. Books and comics books give people that. Fantasy and superhero movies show you the worlds that exist in their universe and this applies to comic books too but books allow you to imagine worlds. Those who read Harry Potter or Lord of The Rings before watching the movies made their own conceptions of their worlds. When you watch an MCU or DCU movie and see superheroes travelling in space or using advanced technology you see a kind of freedom that is not available to those who watch family and social dramas. Family and social dramas are just expression of psychological design while fantasy opens doors to a whole different kind of freedom. In fantasy magic is possible, scientific advances are possible. When you see the Avengers travelling to the past, you think how time travel can be possible. You imagine the technology of the space crafts that travel in MCU and DCU. As time passed I realised, for me at least, that only superhero fiction and fantasy along with American professional wrestling and nature and wildlife documentaries are actual entertainment, after I ended up realising the extent of social and political control in this nation and through extrapolation world I realised that stories based on relationships and social causes are useless and after I realised how many people are stopped from achieving their potential, and that their souls are actively broken, I realised stories about individual achievements are useless. In the end it is all about politics, economics and structural privilege. And so all that remains for a person is fiction, fantasy and nature. The unfortunate part is that in the nation people's imagination is also actively capped and while external efforts are not made to improve the reality as the reality remains riddled of corruption, exploitation, filth, civic neglect and crime they are forced to accept this reality as the absolute reality while the privileged live in their own material and psychological bubbles immune to civic problems. The deteriorating reality however is then taken as absolute reality for the common people, as their culture degrades and family disintegrates, for discrimination and prevention of social mobility. 

For Goody Two Shoes

I end up writing for young good boys once in a while because distraction are many. Life is unpredictable for even those who understand the game so young boys must know the trick to understand the reality of the situation in this nation. Family comes first all the time. From teenage sex and love occupy a lot of unsaid bandwidth for boys. The advice is this, deeply respect the feminine but respect women according to the person they are. The deep structure of this nation wants good boys to treat women as a prize, which they definitely aren't they are human just like you. The deep unsaid practical politicosocioeconomic arrangement is this, and it is generalised and not absolutely accurate but good enough to get a general idea, after the family value system of this nation collapsed and even before that, good men are made to think women as prize while the privileged use women, except the women of their own families, as fleshlights. In this scenario, the pareto's principle loosely applies, 20 percent privileged and opportunists, excuse my French and being so direct, fuck 80 percent of women from lower classes, middle classes and upper classes who after being used as fleshlights go on to marry the goody two shoes ready to take care of them for whole of their life and this arrangement is a loose design but it is a design. While people think of Bihar as a site of "Pakadua Vivah", the privileged while treating daughters of others as fleshlights, marry their own daughters in an unannounced "pakadua" manner and that means the man they choose must be exclusive to their daughter. We see variation of this loose arrangement along with other natural permutations and combinations in the society. The deal is to opt out of the game. People say sex doesn't matter which is my personal opinion as a physician too but it does, because whole political and social structures and intelligence establishments are based on sex. Women cheat as much as men, it's just that they don't get caught. Do not play the game unless you find true love which is as rare as a unicorn in today's society, but I can assure you that it exists it's just that conditions for it to exist have been made impossible. My suggestion if there is longing for a mate is to have muses and fictional characters written by men because women if they write female characters, unless they are very understanding, write with contempt towards patriarchy which is understandable. Get out of the game. Get in the nature, develop hobbies and jack off once in a while without feeling guilty about it. Also to remember that the condition of lower class women is absolutely terrible in this nation and they are exploited at every level which of course includes sexual exploitation and so you should, according to the situation, treat them with utmost love and respect.