chicken soup of the drifter's soul

The clarity of the thought process is very important. To survive life in your own way, you need to be either very brave or crazy. Things what matter to you do not matter to others, this makes you lonely, but this also makes you so unique. You see a lot of people everyday, with their own concepts about life, mostly defined by their wants, needs and desires. Your life too is shaped by the same process. What makes you so unique? Nothing. So that means you are unique and not unique. But that’s just the matter of the level you are thinking on.

Society, or the world as we affectionately call it is a wild place. We are all trying to justify our actions in this cut-throat competition. You gotta run the race, and if by any chance you are left behind you gotta take the shortcuts. Some people do not take the shortcuts because they are wrong, it’s a matter of personal choice. You can live with pleasure or die with your values. Any sort of logical mind will prove inefficacy of value systems as far as happy personal life is concerned. Though values help in the proper functioning of the world as a system and thus affecting the individual in a positive way on an average. The downside is that it’s the good ones who end up paying for the values and compensating for the idiots in the society, but when you are talking about the population, it becomes a quantity and individuals have to be ignored for the greater good.

You can transcend your limits, especially the limits set by you on yourself, and you can transgress the value systems to know how far can you go. Kindness begins at home, like charity. As humans we have to learn too much still. Man is the most intelligent and worst animal, because what is best is also worst. Being a vegan is good, but not if you are a terrible person. Being a feminist is good too but only if you have the guts to go to third world countries and rescue the oppressed women. Being fat is not healthy, and also not wrong. Being a chauvinistic arsehole is a choice, and tells nothing about you except that you are a chauvinistic arsehole. You can change the world, but only if you have power. Knowledge is not power. Power is power. Knowledge is just the beginning of power and power means that you’re gonna stop thinking about changing the world and start thinking about ruling it.

the drifter

A drifter. A wanderer. You do not have enough money. You are a trained man of medicine and you want to use your medical skills for charity, not for money, but the idea is far-fetched and selfish because you want to do charity for yourself and not for others. You have some faults in you that you do not like. But that’s ok, everybody has their shortcomings. You look at yourself and realize that you are not suitable for the present world. Can you go back to the 19th century, in your head yes you can. You can be eccentric and get away with it. You have a regulator for your eccentricity and madness. People around are marrying and having kids. You are busy regulating your eccentricity and madness.

Your head is busy concocting stories, just so that you can avoid pain. The pain that the world isn’t what you thought. But this is the pain that has made you what you are. Conflicts will always be there, whatever you do. You let yourself go. You tried to see how far you can go, you failed to do that, because it seemed limitless.

Reality is not fiction, and you are not a hero in reality, no body is. We are all just characters playing our roles, and within that role, numerous other roles. You survived, no body in 19th century would’ve been able to do that. Shelly couldn’t survive. You did. Thanks to the 21st century.

The modern times are yours, now wear that jacket, pick up those goggles and your helmet, and stop giving a fuck.

memes #2 - notes

What is love? Baby don't...

You remember those memories with her when everything was so good. Her looks, her scent, her hair, her jeans, her smile, her talks, her everything made you crazy. That was a long long time back, when Jim Carrey was still famous, and you were stupid enough to not to find out the pain behind his comedy. You wanted her so bad and you were rejected, because you were perceived as a loser.

Love has been blown out of proportion. I don’t think anybody who has really been in love would think this statement as true. Because love is a drug. And no matter what you say, you’re going to self-destruct yourself for the pleasure it offers. Still, it is blown out of proportion in the sense that it is very personal, and romanticizing it only leads to more expectations.

There are a few “good girls”, who would overlook self-preservation and comfort to be with a person who is a loser. Rest others would obviously choose on the basis of the Darwinian theory. A rich arsehole who is good to them, is what women want. But unfortunately arseholes are not selective in being arseholes.

The process of a good guy turning into an arsehole starts with the incidence of rejection. The upper hand these kinds of ‘transformed’ arseholes have is that they don’t need to pretend goodness. They are authentically good guys inside who have learned the tricks of the business. They have learnt the reality of the situation, and thus scoring chicks, if the tricks have been learned properly becomes smoother than it is for genuine arseholes.
Love is important in life, and real love means sacrifice. Just kidding, sacrificing yourself for love is the dumbest shit ever. But then,if you find the one, you won’t be able to stop yourself.

They say love is what keeps humanity alive. I don’t know, may be, if it is motivated by fear?

Memes #1

Paranoia

Here I am, losing my sanity in a closed dark room, afraid of getting out. Are they reading the thoughts in my head? I can’t be sure. I think they have planted cameras and microphones in my room. I think they are out to get me. I shouldn’t have messed up with those people. I am fucked. Since past one month I am surviving on cup noodles and nutri-biscuits. I think they have planted a device in my head. I can’t take this any more…..
……………transmission received at 11:00 pm, April 3, 2015. Subject ID:273.
Metacorp Inc.

white relief

It was 6 am. He gets up and looks outside the glass window. The forest was covered with snow. The bed was still warm and comfy. He takes out a cigarette from the pack under the pillow and lights it. He gets out of the bed and makes a little coffee for himself. Holidays are great, but he will have to return to the city in three days. City, which was more Darwinian than the white jungle he could see through the window. He pours the coffee in the mug and lights up another cigarette. The wooden floor was cold to his bare feet, but he had a warm feeling in his heart. He still had three more days of freedom.

worthless wisdom

When you get outside your bubble and get in the real world, you realize how difficult it is. May be this is why we create the bubble, for our comfort. Being happy is a trick not every one knows. You fear losing something and ultimately throw it away because you can not take the pain of it slowly slipping away from your hands.

They used to say honesty is the best policy. No it is not. It was a shock when you realized this truth and now it is gonna take you a lifetime to recover. Shouldn’t have cracked the code, you.

The problem is that you do not detail the scenario, because you know the end. End doesn’t matter, even if you know it. What matters is the process. The process is the fulfillment. Things don’t need to mean anything. Meanings are found out, made. Meanings exist for our sake and not the other way round.

The heart refuses to accept this explanation, because hearts have a way of being romantic. We want to keep our delusions because we don’t want to face the truth. Humans can do anything for their delusions. Millions have been killed in history just for the sake of delusions of powerful people.

In actuality, world is not difficult, we have made it difficult and now we should have courage to get out of our bubble and face the world.

A fraction of iceberg

The waves of different particles hit the brain cells. Fantasy has never been this difficult. Fantasy is letting go of reality. He used to talk all this before he became a deep sea diver, to explore the depths of the ocean. He wanted to find the underwater kingdom of mermaids and mermen. He had heard that they have gills on their necks and their lungs are connected to both their nose and gills. He dived in the endless darkness of the ocean to find the city. He swam with unaware sharks, fishes and octopuses. He saw them preying on each other just like the jungle. He saw a wolf in the water, which no other human being has ever seen. He named the species Lupino marinus. He kept going deeper when he saw the kingdom of the mermen. It was like Diwali there. The whole kingdom was bright with shining plankton. And the mermen and mermaids were swimming around.

Fantastic word salad

Bodies like porcelain, they walk around in tight fitting dresses gently swaying their hips from side to side. Their hair tied in a bun. The train to Marcohl will is still 3 hours late and these stewardesses are not going to be in my train. Marcohl is a boring city and nobody wants to go there. It’s a city with lot of factories and not much has been built there except for factories and workshop. It is a mechanics dream come true, and being an engineering student, it is my mecca. I throw a glance at the stewardesses again and then getup to get a coffee. I am a coffee addict. And though coffee is a bad thing according to Trandza people, I don’t believe it. I got this habit when I went for upgradation of my skill benefit in Yufop. My parents still don’t know about this, and I am trying to quit, still i won’t feel that coffee is bad.

Salad Dressing

The deep woods have deep meanings hidden beyond them. A realm of fantasy awaits the escapist. Fiction is always a lie, though sometimes based on truth. Fantasy is fiction. When the wolf howls in the terai of Himalayas, looking at the moon through the dense trees, the whole jungle listen to the call of the wild. The bat hangs comfortably, waiting to get out in search of food. The creaking of the insects in the forest and the cold winds getting neatly filtered by the dense trees. One can get lost in this jungle. One can perish. This jungle takes lives, but also gives lives. Jungle teaches about nature, and the wonderful workings of it. Creatures walk, crawl, climb and slither, and the jungle stands calmly. Things are beautiful and things are dangerous. The wolf howls in the cold full moon night. It looks like call of the wild is calling someone.

when it comes from my heart
i don’t think about regulations
i’ll break boundaries 
and do my thing
to pay for it later;
I have no belief
i have no doubt
i am clear and still
and a little tormented,
love can be or not,
but it should always be,
no cure for a lonely heart,
no gain without pain.

jungle disco

disco lights in the jungle
shining with the beats
high school reunion behind the bushes
grass is green on the other side
violets bloom and emit ultraviolet radiation
which shows the sunburns on your body at night
the motor-rikshaw sounds its horn
and Japanese school girls run to school
jungle school is so much fun
and mowgli wants to have it all
a man and a wolf
a wolf and a man
howling, and answering the wild’s call

the pond

pond in the green meadow,
calls for the fairies for a skinny dipping
while the jumbo jets fly past in the smoky skies
and fluorescent rabbits run around in cool breezy darkness
the mermaids in the pond
sing romantic songs
and the heart of the warrior pines for love

shattered lies

yellow and green,
and blue sky,
thrill and kindness make up a cocktail,
a lie to harm
is same as the lie to protect,
lies are lies,
showering like droplets of water
under the shower,
cooling the skin,
and making the truth,
clearer than ever

heartbroken vegetable man

smooth love like jack fruit
from inside, outside horny
layered feelings
onion on the chopping board;
teary eyes find reasons for lachrymation
no more love, no more pain
lies the thumping hurt longing for someone,
you smoke and cause pain to your eyes,
lungs can take it much longer
till they start to bleed
like your metaphorical heart

body odour

Odour of your sweat,
Fragrant,
And you call it gross
When I take a sniff,
You laugh and push me away,
Then pull me close and kiss me,
I don’t believe in love,
I believe in nothing,
But it’s the closest ever i’ve come
To believe in something

piracy of thoughts

It does not end here,
It has just begun,
Reality is just a horror fantasy,
The ships of thoughts sail
In the ocean of consciousness,
Huge waves of of emotions
Lead the boats of decisions,
Sometimes to deserted islands
Aloof, alone,lonely
And it is up to you to be lonely or not,
The solitary reaper you can be,
Till end begins,
And you reap your sins

broken chips of soul

Scent of the impending doom,
Fragrance of defeat,
Potato chip bags filled with air
And inside everyone is broken and crushed,
Tears have no meaning,
Love has no power,
The innumerable lies now revealed,
A death sentence for life.

metaphysical love making

Starry night of pure consciousness
Seeping into the soul
When darkness has its path
The wilderness of lust
I will let you feel the sensations
Deep beyond the realm of feelings
Naked thoughts on endless shores
In form of surfs going and coming
Measuring the endless void
As the fragrance travels from soul to soul
The wildflower blooms in all its glory
And the hearts explode into stardust

survive to die

Hurry up
Its late
Get up
And get ready
You have a day ahead
To survive,
Try not to give in,
Do not give up;
Get up, get ready and survive;
Repeat, till you die.

bathing kid

A lonely dip
In the water,
The lake, green
In the crimson sunset;
Trees on the shore,
Wave their branches,
I hold my breath,
And stare in the deep.

dark angel collective

Body of lies,
And a dark spirit,
The angel falls,
From paradise.
No one knows,
The spirit is charred,
By burning like a sun,
To give others light.
The angel falls,
And gets up still,
Smiling,
Looking up at the sky.
The heavens crumble,
As the dark angel ascends,
And the honour is restored
As before.
The Father in heaven
With his benevolent smile,
Reads the beast
His score.

lemongrass love garden

Red roses in a garden of lemongrass,
Smell heavenly as the breeze causes goosebumps;
You feel that ecstasy building in your nerves,
And your head is still spinning and swirling;
You fall with pleasure on the mattress of the cool green grass,
And your dreamy eyes picture your beloved;
Your soul yearns and your throat gets dry,
As you try to recover from those shivers,
Love is nothing but an emotional deal,
To hold the other when they fall;
They can steal your heart and soul,
And you with joy, give it all.

regret

Smell of her hair
Entwined in my fingers
Her lips like cherries
And teeth like pearls
Her ringing laughter that quenched my soul
And touch of her skin that fuelled my desire
Wish it was for a little longer
So that I could soak myself
Wholly, completely, in those sensations
So that I could drown myself in her love
All I have now are memories of her
A regret
And a hope

burning satisfaction

Burning, uncomfortable, difficult,
Mind consumed with ideas,
Desires difficult to curb,
Love buried beneath memories.
Longing, deep, disturbing,
Thoughts struggling, reeling,
Impulses hard to resist,
Desire knows no boundaries.
Fragrance, sensations undefined,
Unnerving ideas struggling,
Warm embrace of affection,
Eyes closed with satisfaction.

friend in the mirror

World is a dirty dirty place and I am a nihilist who eats cheap burgers and ice-creams (locally known as softies) at cheap road-side vendors. My life has been a roller-coaster ride and i feel like a person who has puked enough times to be dehydrated and exhausted. Good thing about my life is that nothing matters to me, so that leaves me with one thing that matters to me that is nothing. So i can put a tag of nothing on anything and that thing would start to matter to me on a very personal level.
I use cheap soaps and shampoos, because I can’t afford the costly ones and drink 5 cups of tea and 2 cups of coffee everyday.
Writing is a hard work for me and being a nihilist, i know it is of no use to me and still i am writing this i dunno what i am doing.

Well if this is what your ‘friend’ writes in ‘his’ diary, i do not want you to make an opinion about ‘him’ because this friend is same as friend with the n removed, in his head.

Enraged #2

Good guy syndrome

People make a difference in your life, because you are a social animal. You can choose to be an animal but  it is difficult to deny the ‘social’ in you. People are good and bad, and some are good or bad just for you. If you are an asrehole, world is a party for you. Arseholes are seldom unhappy, and the only reason they are happy is because they are arseholes. They do not suffer from a potentially lethal disease known as ‘the good guy syndrome’, and thus spend a healthy and fulfilling life until they meet someone who’s a bigger arsehole than them.
Good guys on the other hand are a product of faulty genes, or bad environmental conditions, and not to mention shitty conditioning by those in charge of the process. Good guys are made so that arseholes can trample over them, and female Canis lupuses crush their nuts with their heels.
Good thing about arseholes is their constancy. Everything in the universe is changeable, except arseholes. And this is what that makes them so good. Anything that has achieved a perfect design, has no need to change.

The person suffering with good guy syndrome, if not treated well, has severe dangers of ending up in the last stage of the syndrome called the loser state. Good thing about this stage is that at this stage the sufferer starts finding sufferers of his own kind, ie. other losers. The sufferer seeks supports and in all probability, if the conditions are right, creates his own support group. Many of them start treating themselves with ‘medicinal herbs’.
The good guy syndrome is dangerous and must be treated as soon as it is identified, otherwise self-treatment with herbs can open your eyes to the universe, and like they say, all good people became stars in the sky. PS. Stars are nothing but huge masses of exploding gases.