Barter

What is it about inspiration? Is inspiration business? Seems like it.  Art requires inspiration and if you have to pay for what you get inspired from the discussion ends. I prefer Linux over Windows when I can manage without Windows. But Windows comes free with computers and MS Office doesn’t really run on Linux machines. I still use Zorin, Mint and Ubuntu and Pop OS when I can. Linux is a community based project, it is open source and I didn’t mind paying for Zorin Pro and it was great, and mostly without bugs . I have multiple machines running Windows but only because Windows came free with them and when they are older I would replace them with Linux. Games are a problem but with Proton, I don’t think they are going to be a problem for long. Windows is very optimised, and that’s what happens when a corporation makes a product and community based products can’t really match it at that level though there are exceptions. Wikipedia is a community based project and I donate to it regularly. If you are intelligent enough you’d come to know when Wikipedia is lying and it really can’t lie much on scientific things which is what I generally access. So actually this conversation is about paying for inspiration. You are at an art gallery and you see an art piece and get inspired, do you have to pay for it to make another art inspired by it? I mean just inspired and not a copy neither using the same elements as that art. What about the inspirations you got from the movies and books you torrented? Now suppose an entity that actively steals your thoughts, ideas and original research wants you to pay for your inspirations, and the movies you downloaded on torrents. Sad isn’t it? In Purvanchal the basic currency of social existence is favours and revenge not on the face but at the deep political level and as I have already told you rape too is a currency here, kind of you hurt my ego and I would rape your mother or sister in front of you. Very Afghanistani approach I would say. Again, Varanasi is in Purvanchal. It is the state of the deepest establishment, something even deeper than the government. This is what absolute edge and upper hand in power dynamic does, it corrupts absolutely and irreversibly. So if I listen to a song on YouTube and get inspired to write something, should I pay for getting inspired? I mean I did see the ad or paid for it if I have YouTube premium? Nothing is free except air. Even water is not free because all the sources of natural water have been polluted for the most part. Can you see things clearly now? This entity steals from you every moment of your life and makes you pay for things that you don’t even use and the cycle of paying for things that you don’t even want or use continues till you are dead. It’s called exploitation. Can you feel God anywhere in the picture? There isn’t. Only God that there is is within ourselves. I donate for community based products, and I buy things that I use and I make a note when I get exploited, because sometimes you can’t help but get exploited. Nothing is free and like it’s said there are no free lunches, but I have seen free lunches, in my village and my family giving people free lunches. How did society devolve to this? The answer is lust and greed. If something is free then you are the product. Ever thought why Whatsapp is free? What’s the actual model behind products like these? The truth is that we would never know the actual model and from what I have seen, business models are hogwash. The game is rigged and after some time we might have to pay for clean air too. I used to think people with power behave responsibly. The truth is they don’t. They really go for all out exploitation and all out totalitarianism. Some of us just see it way before than others, before it is normalised and we get used to it. 

Spit-roasting

To write you should have something to say, I have something to say but I kind of hold back because I want to say it in a better way. Saying things in a better way is what skilled writers do. They take things that other people say and say it better. It’s all about the numbers though, something can be exceptional and if the number of fools is more than the number of people who recognize that thing, it’s going to be downplayed. Downplaying arises from ego and in this country at least it is common because egos are greater than the ability. The shitshow is kind of hilarious but there is nothing that can be done about that. When survival is the goal then it is a clash of egos and in this battle of egos the first ones to get crushed are the selfless. There is this thing I have noticed about this country that even the most inferior scum can have an ego as massive as the universe and you can never tell. There are two kinds of waiters in the world, one who spits in your coffee because you offended them and they were right and another who spits in your coffee out of habit, just pure hatred that has nothing to do with you. There is a third kind of waiter who doesn’t spit in your coffee even if you offend him because he believes in doing his duty or job well. There were a lot of people of this kind earlier and they are steadily decreasing in number because the way this country is governed it is the third kind who are exploited the most and it is almost a rule now. People who are intelligent know that it’s not ego that should be the size of the universe but understanding. Ego blinds you and only those who can afford an ego of huge size must have them, though it, in terms of this country, means crushing innocents who just want to live their lives peacefully. If you are someone who seeks peace and not conflict, know that only those who can afford conflict go for it. Bravery like intelligence is dime a dozen, everyone has bravery for what matters to them and offence is only done by short sighted retards who can't go beyond or assholes who know that they have complete advantage in power dynamics. It’s  a rule. With time individuals who are offensive know the limits they are pushing and they come to know how much offence they can get away with and they are careful as to not to shake the wrong tree. It’s like guitar improvisation and these motherfuckers improvise within their range. True bravery is when you know that you are going to get destroyed and you still go through it. The samurai had true bravery but then they again were manipulated by their masters but then you never know, maybe the masters back then really and truly believed in honour. You have to read the story of 47 ronins to get a glimpse at it. From what this country has exposed itself to me in the past decade I have realised that this country doesn’t really deserve this kind of bravery as the supposed masters themselves are busy looting and pillaging innocents in a grab it while you can manner, the system is so direct that the easiest prey is preyed on first and that is the good and the helpless. There is distinction between the two but the similarity between the good and the helpless is that the good are helpless due to their goodness and really need the whole truth to act, which unfortunately by the design of the setup they would never get. It’s sad, the state of affairs but then there is nothing that can be done as all probabilities of the ways people can be exploited and intimidated into silence have been covered and the uneducated are the most helpless unless they find someone weaker than them and start oppressing them. Oppression goes from up to down and it is this cycle of oppression I have been able to break. It travels nowhere when it reaches me. 

True Sources of Pleasure and Making True Fiction

Nature is beautiful and for a human being the nature and universe other than love and family are only true sources of pleasure. I mean there are other sources of pleasures too but since I have seen the extent of political interference in the lives of people, nature and universe stand out as the true sources of joy. Even the pleasure from love and family can be sabotaged but nature and universe still stay. Stories are built by characters and characters are built by getting inspired by people. You read Harry Potter and it is based on people, witches and wizards yes, but they are basically people struggling with politics of their world. When relationships become inauthentic it is this connection with people we have, that stories are based upon, gets affected and it is here due to the politics, stories become redundant. Though stories about the personal struggles still remain authentic. Like a person navigating the systems of the world or fighting against a system that is hell bent on changing him or even destroying him. These kinds of stories will always matter. To deal with the problems of the politics of our world and the depth of the control we need to create new worlds which have different settings and rules. Just like the world of Star Wars or the world of Harry Potter or any other fictional world like the worlds and universes in the comics. Middle Earth in the Lord of The Rings handles the political problems of our world in a fantastical world made by its creator. The totalitarianism of our world and redundancy of relationships, when you know enough truth, is the main problem in creating lasting fiction based on the real world in today’s times. When you set up a setting, if you are true as an artist, you would also have to show the things going on in the background which are invisible to most. The sad part is that the puppeteers of our world and society do not let the puppets know that they are being manipulated and that their life, sometimes their whole life, is manipulated. When an artist knows the truth he has to not only show the things going on in the lives of the characters but also the background and when he is dealing with truth in fiction the ones in the background, the political actors, manipulating people and doing social engineering of the society also become characters because they too have motivations. The truth is that people do not have autonomy of their bodies and minds or if they have it’s granted as a privilege that could be taken back any day and so the characters if we are dealing with our world in fiction become inauthentic. Think of it as Agent Smith possessing the body of an everyman in the Matrix, is the everyman whose body is possessed by Agents in the movie Matrix responsible for what the Agents do through his body? That’s the basic question. When the whole game is rigged the onus really falls on the one who are manipulating people unlike the people like Neo who are free and freely making their choices though sadly, no one, at least the ones who are not privileged enough to have autonomy, has a hundred percent free will in this political setting and given the setting the autonomy can range from minus to forty, my own autonomy on my body and mind is one percent though I can override it enough to make sense of things happening to me and document them. So it is here nature and universe become important because they are the only things that are not tainted by politics or deep politics. As far as writing fiction goes, I’m still making sense of how to make sense of the submerged part of the iceberg that is existence in writing, especially when characters don’t have autonomy in fiction based on the real world, blaming characters for doing something that is not their fault isn't right and so the acknowledgement of the hidden layer of control is essential.  

Dimension Toll

There is a depth to existence and in today's times most people have become oblivious to. It came as shock to me that all existence is political but it had been for me way before than I had realised. Do I believe in an afterlife? Not anymore. I have seen layers of reality and unfortunately they are all political because your access to layers of reality can be blocked by politics and when that happens you realise that access to the cosmos and even God goes through politics. Do I believe in a God, not really, not the kind that society make us believe in when we are growing up. I do however believe that if music exists so does God, and that you can manifest your God. My association with my religion is more of a cultural sorts. I have faith in Divine Mother though and her forms and even with my political atheism and scientific agnosticism it is kind of hardwired in me. My idea of heaven is eternity in the void of the womb of the Divine Mother. Though if you'd ask me a one word answer whether I believe in God, the answer would be no. I always thought of religion as something people find solace and community in, though it was a hard awakening when around a decade ago I found out that religion in this country, and I don't know about the world, is straight up a front for exploitation. It was sad but then people should believe what they believe if it gives them peace and feeling of safety. Old temples do give me peace and I realise that there is something magical about old temples but then there is something magical about a lot of things, and as far as I go I feel at peace at Golden Temple too. Hinduism, I realise, has corrupted beyond redemption but then that's okay, as long as people's faiths are pure the corruption of institutions don't really matter. Humanity had it good from the 90s till the early 2000s and it's kind of funny that in the movie The Matrix, 90s was the peak of human civilization. The more you think about it, the more you realise that it actually was. The present, if you are sensitive and aware enough, you realise that is of totalitarian slavery. I personally prefer the certainty of doom than uncertainty of future. Since I know the design now, I know that humanity is not unlike the ship Titanic, the first class will get saved and the rest will drown and if you know enough you know that it is the first class that is orchestrating this drowning. Human cruelty knows no bounds and so does human resilience. When I was younger I was interested in the universe and its workings and I used to think about space exploration but then as I matured I realised that human cruelty and tribalism will travel with humanity wherever it goes the veil that was on the eyes of humanity in the 90s, has lifted culture has been destroyed, at least the good things of the culture and so one realises the extent individuals can go for power, though it's funny that the quest for power has imploded and has become self-defeating. Growth is not organic as it once was, and growth through exploitation Will only birth ugly things and it's sad that those who have access to all the knowledge in the world do not know this. I'm not excited about space exploration anymore though I still am curious about the workings of the universe. Though when politics blocks your access to the universe it doesn't remain worth it. I do not have an anthropocentric worldview and I sometimes wonder about extraterrestrial life though the only source of extraterrestrials in the common man's life are Hollywood movies. Those who have lived the culture know that it's real, and those who have realised the slavery know that it's a programming. One has to walk the fine line between culture as a real entity and a programming. There are layers to reality but the most real layer of reality as a human is where you find love. Nature is ruthless and so I suppose if there at all is a God, he might be ruthless too and so I see all of my suffering as part of nature, knowing that as humans there is something different to us, and that's the ability to love which again has been exploited by the politics of the world since forever for power. When only few are allowed to love and for other love becomes a thing to be exploited you know that it's nature and food chain taking its course and if humanity couldn't learn after so many years it's not possible that it ever will. What remains? knowing your reality well, living well, loving and having fun. That's what that remains. If there is a God after all that's what He or She would want. 

Escalator Hesitation

If I have to express India's deep establishment in four words that would be incompetent, corrupt, criminal and demonic. I have had a taste of Purvanchal establishment which is in fact connected to the greater establishment and being from Purvanchal I could never imagine the kind of shit that I have seen. What I write about deep politics can be termed as anti-establishment but it is actually not when you realise that the "establishment" is basically a genocidal criminal syndicate. Being a doctor I'm privy to some information that other's aren't and while I was aware of cases of incest in West UP and Delhi area it was baffling to me to realise that it is in fact common in Purvanchal too, which, since I'm familiar with the actual culture and religiousity of my region, was mind boggling to me. These bastards make people commit incest and insidiously torture their souls and blackmail them and since it is happening in my culture and to my beautiful and innocent people it was absolutely heartbreaking, the bottom line money, resources and sadistic pleasure in pain of others and power trips and this shit is seamlessly woven into religious and political fabric of the region and probably the country. When reality is shitty, no amount of media propaganda and insertion of delusions is going to prevent people from political enlightenment and thus begins the cycle of conspiracies and torture of their souls. You have internet and you can see the way this country is falling and this is intentional. Old hierarchies are being dismantled and in sometime only two hierarchies are going to remain, ruling class and the slave class and very unfortunately the ruling class of this country doesn't really have class. Do I sound delusional? Well, you haven't seen what I have. It's baffling that in 2025 we are dealing with the threat of irreversible totalitarianism but then as far as I'm concerned I have seen the depth of the control and after that, if you are actually a human being in your heart and soul, nothing remains. Physical and mental autonomy, for me, is the bedrock of human experience and being human and since I have seen that it doesn't really exist I'm just whiling my time and having fun. I have realised that Indians, and of course I'm not talking about beautiful common people, are some of the worst and demonic scum on the planet but despite being the most demonic one can possibly be, these motherfuckers evoke a kind of pity when you see how pathetic they are. All the money and resources and power these bastards have is useless when they don't have intelligence and class. As far as I am concerned, my writing goals are different, and I only write about deep politics because I know how terribly the human soul can be tortured and for no reason except hate and that too totally baseless. I now know for sure that there is no greater purpose to life except for taking care of family and having fun, especially in this country as these motherfuckers at this point are doing anything to anyone just based on their whims. And the sole purpose of my writing about deep politics is to let people's souls know that it's not their fault and when their souls know the truth, no amount of psychological and physical torture, which can cross demonic levels and isn't really explainable in words, is going to affect them. The incompetence is real and so is demonic cruelty and I'm glad that I was able to witness it so that it brought into perspective what I see in this country in daily life. The communities in this country are changing, and people have started having pleasure in other people's pain and it is the direct reflection of those who actually control this nation. There is not really much left to say when these bastards actively alter people's personal and family histories due to baseless reasons, it's basically a monkeys with laser gun scenario. 

Chicken Soup for The Suffering Soul

What are the genres I wanted to write in? Science fiction, noir, mythofiction, transgressive fiction, Indian fantasies and occult detective kind of things. You fill the prompt in ChatGPT for these genres and it presents you better stories in an Indian setting than you can imagine though I still think I can imagine better than AI like ChatGPT though it is enough to tell you that entertainment is being gatekept from people and I have seen extreme form of gatekeeping both of knowledge and happiness in the past decade. It took me some time to decode the setup shit really got real for me when I was started being gatekept from artists like Lucky Ali and Midival Punditz whom I have loved since childhood, not to mention artists like Trent Reznor whom I got exposed to later. Earlier my view of non-fiction writing was of "Chicken Soup for Soul" kind of writing but here I am writing about the deep politics of the country though I am only doing this because I have seen some extremely demonic things and not in supernatural sense but in a criminal sense which again is not a necessity for writing it out on my blog but the only reason I write it and write about it is because this demonic criminality is seamlessly sewn in the normal existence in this country and the most susceptible people who are prone to become victims of this demonic and insidious criminality are good and innocent people who suffer this crime which is a lot of times hate crime for no substantiated reason wrapped in the form of consequences of sins or fate. My acquaintance to this setup promptly answered the age old question of "why good people suffer so much" or "it's only good people who suffer", it's because criminals are in control, who thought things would be this simple, not me at least. The most baffling thing for me was how this criminal setup of rape, murder and exploitation was integrated with religion and I'm not sure it's the same in all regions but I'm sure of Purvanchal. Suffering is infinite and it doesn't really stop unless you consciously choose to stop suffering and I continued suffering respecting the entity but it was ultimately revealed that these are lower class rapists employed by local establishment which is a nexus of politicians, godmen and "businessmen" tied to a greater setup in a multilevel manner. I have a solid lore as far as my life is concerned but then I think it is true for any man worth his salt. Writing is redundant in today's times especially after the advent of AI but AI, as I know now for sure, too gatekeeps things and so you know that the setup works from top to bottom. Earlier it was shastras and now it's technology, science and education. I have to be clear and I have said it many a times that anyone who reads my stuff, if they learn something useful from it they need not be thankful to me and can use that knowledge freely in their life without feeling indebted to it. Exploiting debts and favours is one of the main methods of this structure and I must end this possibility at the base itself.

The Train from Patal Lok to Middle Earth

Fiction is a refuge from the real world and so is fantasy, if we excuse depressing shit like The White Tiger and Sacred Games of circle jerkers of booker prize circles just a decade ago fantasy books like The Simoqin Prophecies written by Samit Basu and the Ananya Tantrist series by Shweta Taneja were being written. I'm connected with literature but maybe such books are still being written and I'm oblivious to them though that doesn't really take away the fact these kind of books have disappeared from mainstream. I mean I have nothing against books like The White Tiger and Sacred Games, as far as literature goes I'm a firm believer of to each his own but since I have witnessed the unfiltered reality of this nation in the past decade I don't really want to witness this reality in fiction too. I would love a Harry Potter or, if mature, American Gods for myself after what I have seen about this country. America has a nerd culture and in the words of Norman Osborn, "I'm something of a nerd myself". Being a nerd is looked down upon but I don't find anything wrong with it. There are two types of nerds, the ones who actively seek pleasure of fantasy and escapism without knowing the reality of the world and the ones who know the reality of the world and realise that nerdy pursuits are way better than engaging with the world especially when for the majority it doesn't really end well. The fiction factory of this country has collapsed and all you have are either foreign fantasies or if Indian, mafia shows and police procedurals and of course saas bahu drama. I was a fan of gritty until I realised that the control is absolute and while you can enjoy the Indian noir style grittiness of Pataal Lok and Mirzapur, know that actually it's nothing more than voyeurism while those who indulge in this voyerism and repackage it for people to watch have no skin in the game. The thing about noir is that noir only works if there is hope. Here is an assignment, watch Hrishikesh Mukherjee's Chupke Chupke and a movie like Sajan Chale Sasural by David Dhawan. These movies still stand the test of time. What was the last good movie that satisfied your soul like these movies do, you saw in theaters? I got exposed to reality of Bollywood in the past decade and the less it's talked about the better it is. The last Bollywood was honest was when you watched Rock On in theatres, when Kartik Calling Kartik came out and when you listened to the song Bahara. This was the last time Bollywood was honest. Something really happened during this time period that changed the course of this nation and I don't think it is only the change in government in 2014. Now people entertain themselves, you open instagram and see people like you entertaining you through content on reels. While the psychological impact of content creation is yet to come out it has started to come out in small news items. We are living in times where you are the consumer and you are the content, just like the quote "if anything is free, you are the product." Simple world, isn't it. The issue with this country is that not only you have to suffer, you have to suffer with folded hands though I'm not really sure that it applies to whole of the country it might be that this approach is specific to Purvanchal only. I grew up on comics and followed comics till my college days so I know that indigenous fantasy and mythofiction is possible, the issue is that this country has turned into an exploitation chamber and now if you are not privileged you can't come back home from work and quietly play games on your computer or read a comic book, other than earning a majority of your time would go in fighting off conspiracies that would be served to you as fate. 

Viber

What does existence boils down to in the present? Vibes. There are vibes that feel good and then there are vibes that don't. And it's all about seeking the feel good vibes and avoiding and surviving bad vibes. Vibes, sensations and memories make up our existence and you had a good childhood if you felt good vibes and sensations and made good memories. I had an awesome childhood, and a little bit of traumatic early teenage but nothing that I couldn't handle and I'm just glad that I underwent that emotional and psychological trauma that I went through in my early teenage because it is what opened me to the actual political reality of the world. If you are a parent, make sure that you give your child a happy childhood and know for sure that no one except you wants good for your child, in this political climate especially because the days where kids were raised by community in India and turned out to be great have passed. Community still cares for kids in a lot of places in this country but given the general trend of isolating people and families that has been going on since late 2000s this is not going to last, also since I realised that the greater and the deepest establishment of this country is demonic and politically motivated which also includes class and caste based motivations, I also realised that no matter how good an upbringing and amenities you give to your child in the end his or her success and fate belongs at the whims of rapists. It's basically playing Russian Roulette with your progeny and a lot of kinder and useful genes from the genepool of this country are going to get extinct because the controllers of this nation are greedy, jealous and incompetent which leads them to become outright genocidal. The poor are genetically safe as they think of children as a gift from God and reproduce in good numbers and their children after growing a little become adapted to survival and developing professional skills at a young age and anyway the way this nation is controlled it's basically natural selection for them and not only in terms of genes sadly, but in terms of how corrupt and criminal one can be. You see the bigger picture and you realise we are actually being ruled by a criminal syndicate and the sad part is that they don't even have the class of Italian Mafia or Japanese Yakuza which was kind of expected from pajeets. The bottom line is keeping happy, chasing good vibes and trying to make good memories for you and your family because unless you are actively supported by the establishment chances are you are not going to get that because there is an army of rapists employed to deprive you of your own authentic experiences and of course it is class based the caveat being that those who enforce this class hierarchy were either petty criminals or extortionists during British times (of course supported by them and that makes them betrayer of their people too) or those who walked around with the cock of British Empire in their assholes. 

MMORPG

When you mature everything basically becomes about ideas and beliefs. The beliefs could be real and they could be delusional. Beliefs need a basis and those who want to discredit your beliefs do not hesitate in going back in time to discredit them. Like you see the blacks in America still dealing with their cotton picking days. The sooner you understand in this world that it's all about power the sooner you adapt. The news, however, is that power has already been consolidated permanently and you, if you are after power, will only remain as a dog, rabid or not that depends on you, with limited power under those who have already consolidated the power. Power is majorly physical, financial, technological and another kind of technological power that gives you a permanent edge over other people making them your slave permanently. A man who doesn't have power in this world must have understanding to avoid suffering. I have understanding so I don't suffer, and the limited power I have, I don't misuse it. As far as this nation goes, a majority misuses whatever little power they have and greater the power greater the misuse. Misuse of power is a norm in this nation and so much that not misusing the power one has becomes a radical act. I was of the belief that humanity might not be that predictable, I was wrong. It is completely predictable and somehow fails to learn from its history. It's basically a bunch of dogs going around pissing on poles. Is there a greater purpose to humanity? I don't really know, but as much as I have seen I don't think so. Nietzsche wrote Beyond Good and Evil, while the truth is there is nothing beyond good and evil. As far as humanity is concerned the duality of good and evil will persist permanently and the blueprint of goodness and evil is essential for keeping the cycle of exploitation intact which gives us a hint that the world in fact is ruled by evil as I know personally the actual goodness can't really tolerate injustice happening and the world is full of it. The only thing that is beyond good and evil is mathematics and scientific method. You can quantify good and evil through mathematics and scientific method and you can quantify suffering too. Anything that deals with God in the world ultimately turns into reward and punishment and further into things dealing with beyond this life, like afterlife, heaven and hell, reincarnation in different yonis and such things. Here is the trick, be so good that the question of hell in afterlife and reincarnation in animal yonis ends for once and for all, and it is then you'd realise that all of this shit is about sex, money and resources including land, which brings us back to power, those who own money and land and resources have power and those who have power own money and land and resources. It is here deception and technology come into picture because having power isn't enough, maintaining it is also required. If you have played RPGs or MMORPGs you know that magic is one of the things kingdoms use to retain and gain power. The magic of today is technology. Here is how it works, science deconstructs magic and makes it a technology. Magic becomes technology because it becomes reproducible through science. The issue is not that people are slaves, the issue is that people are slaves to scum who are inferior to them. But this is by design and the very basis of Stanford Prison Experiment. 

Write Concepts #13

A writer can talk to himself or an audience, the voice needs to address someone, mostly. But sometimes the writer is just writing down the thoughts in his head. I use all these methods for writing and more. The audience for my writing is mostly good people. People who want to live in peace, earn through their hard work and have fun in their life. When I think of writing I think of these people and how to make them feel, make them feel good, give them pleasure, entertain them, make them feel warm, educate them and give them tools to prevent them from getting exploited. I want to give them truth too but truth is a double edged sword and I only write it when I think it is extremely important though whatever I write is truth and also my truth. Someone has to go inside hell to send the message out about how it is from inside. As far as my interest in writing goes, my interest in writing lies in writing like American and European writers who used to write in pulp and literary magazines in the 20th century. A bit back in time and it becomes too archaic and a bit forward in time and it becomes too fake. I think the 20th century and that time period of a hundred years allow a lot of original writing to take place. Also, it is not a rule written in stone, if I find something interesting or authentic of course I would make use of it in my writing. I have my favourites and inspirations, like Conan Doyle, Chekhov, Kafka, Lovecraft, Premchand, Orwell and quite a few others. One can only dream that one can write something as atmospheric as Bram Stoker’s Dracula. In modern times J K Rowling has been an inspiration. I like the literary quality of Neil Gaiman’s writing too though I don’t like his stories. I was lucky to consume a lot of literature in my childhood. It was a great experience and back then literature and magazines were aplenty in the market. Railway stations used to have A. H. Wheeler stalls where one could get magazines and comic books. I write a lot about deep politics these days but that’s not what I want to do. I write about it so that people become aware at least and even though getting saved is not an option it’s akin to getting the diagnosis of one’s disease and it can tremendously reduce suffering in life. I kind of want to write good fiction even though I know it is redundant because I know that good fiction can transport people into a different world. It is sort of a teleportation device, a portal or a wormhole and I want to keep writing non-fiction to equip good people against exploitation. 

Incredible India!

Here is the key to decoding the reality in this nation. Your server is located in the culture you are born in and although your mind is accessible from anywhere in the world the base from where it is controlled is your culture. Sounds crazy? Just read on and keep this shit in your mind for when you need it because unless and until you are privileged and chosen you are going to need it. The torture is needless and knowing the truth eases the suffering. It is mostly about money, but also about sadistic pleasure. Since the control is a one way street there is nothing that can you can do about it and your fate can take multiple ways to reach its destination, religious style kundali fulfillment, to political and even financial, but don't get fooled it's mostly sociopolitical and politico-economic. Everyone from celebrities to politicians to lower level businessmen and industrialists and bureaucrats are chosen the catch here is some of them know it and some don't and you can't really tell who knows and who don't. Let me come to the culture here, the place where your server is located and I'm saying server because this shit is technology as if it wasn't I wouldn't have been able to override it, it took me effort but I did override it and I find it demonic that this technology is used on uneducated village women to torture their souls which expresses itself as "devi" or possession. While I don't reject the hypothesis of occult the very fact that this shit is used for political and economic purposes and indiscriminately tells that even if this is occult it's science enough to be reproducible and used in daily political business and for those who are uneducated and even for others this setting is basically the providence while the gods in this providence and criminals employed by them exploit, rape and murder people, from what I see indiscriminately. Long conspiracies are hatched which ultimately end with people dying blaming themselves while the blame is not actually theirs. The control is absolute and until you can override it which is very very hard to do and I was only able to do it because I was habituated of physical and psychological torture since 2006 from my region and survived long enough to be strong enough to override the control. This entity as I have subjective evidences is one though it is devided according to culture. It's a shame that my culture is controlled by demonic rapists for whom rape is a currency and this shit is weaved along with religion as you can know from the history of this country about the discrimination that was prevalent, this discriminatory and rapist entity did not become extinct, it just became invisible and insidious. So people from particular castes are promoted and recently the trend has been of getting them to high positions in corporate as well as government and so you know that only two authentic professions in this nation right now are farming and business. As far as Purvanchal goes there is similarity between Purvanchal and Bihar just as there is similarity in Western Uttar Pradesh and Haryana. These motherfuckers get kicks by getting people from their own region humiliated and exploited by people from other regions of this country, it is so common and it is almost a norm. There is an active effort made for this humiliation. I know of one case where a guy who loved a girl from Bangalore brought the girl to his home to show his parents and the girl left seeing the reality of the situation leaving him humiliated and once one knows the setup one knows what went on in background, there is another case in which a well educated professor married a well educated girl and it ended up in divorce and the professor marrying an uneducated girl for his second marriage. It's just demonic how people's married and sex lives are controlled in Puravnchal by rapists who are motivated by personal jealousy and ruin happy lives of people. The state of healthcare is such that it's almost a genocide going on. This shit is feudal but the new feudal lords are scummy uneducated politicians and village rapists who have made a fortune by extortion and exploitation and I found it funny when a Hindi newspaper of national repute the name of which begins with Dainik tried to gaslight me near my own clinic in Varanasi. In Purvanchal there is totalitarian micromanagement of lives and sex lives of people going on by literal rapists and there is a rampant level of eugenics being practiced here. Only region I have seen taking care of their people outside the region is Kerala and sometimes Bengal. Gujaratis are smart enough to never get out of their region at all and hoard money which is the most intelligent thing to do in this nation. As far as Punjab goes, Punjabi Hindus are scum and control most of shit in India and are fooling the Sikhs who are bound by their beautiful religion so no wonder they are ultimately waking up and getting radicalised. As much as I have seen only people who are comparable to scumminess to Purabiyas and Biharis as far as control of the culture goes are Maharashtrians and it is a shame because all of these regions had beautiful cultures originally and innocent people which I think is the part of the problem because innocent people are easy to oppress and rape which makes these motherfuckers even more demonic. 

Nagraj Aur Shango

When we finally ignore the useless bullshit it is then we can focus on things that actually matter. What matters? Love does. Family does. Money does. Truth does. Knowledge does. Your preferences, interests and hobbies do. The setting we live in today other relationships don't matter that much even though they are essential for survival and it is because things can quite suddenly deteriorate to the bottom line. My personal goal is to recreate comic book style narratives which are deep enough to personally pull you into it. There was a bunch of it in late 2000s and early 2010s, and there were a lot of it in the 90s. Though the comic book narratives that I experienced in 90s and late 2000s and early 2010s were different in nature, quality and the worlds they transported you into but they did their jobs pretty well, of transporting you in other narrative worlds. Even the same people who used to produce those comics aren't able to reproduce that magic again, and that tells you a lot about the intellectual curfew that we are living in present. I love Lovecraft so I'd probably check out comics based on his works. Druuna is one of my favourite characters as far as eroticism in comics is concerned. The disappointment is that Indians now don't have the moral fabric and integrity to make comics. Yes, old masters still exist but there is noone in younger generation to replace them. Morally compromised scum can't make good art they however can make good skill based propaganda which is what you see these days on Indian television, in cinema theatres and print media. The westeners have ethics, their artists have ethics, their writers have ethics and that includes comic book writers and I'm not talking about corporations just artists. Indian artists used to have ethics, the oldies still do and they are busy reminiscing old times on Facebook, the same greats that gave us awesome comics that made our childhoods richer. The first novel I had planned was an adventure novel, it was a science-fiction adventure novel and I used to love the vibe of that thing I had planned. It was cool, it was fun and it was adventurous. Just a bunch of years later, with inspirations for it saved in my Tumblr I realised that existence in this country has only one meaning family based suffering and money based suffering and there is no room for imagination here. Authentic creativity and narratives are crushed as soon as they surface and people are forcefully made to consume foreign creativity and narratives because indigenous narratives are substandard. It's the same as poor folk making videos on Moj app and the privileged on Instagram. The stratification is so intense that there is stratification in even internet apps I just gave you example of Moj app and Instagram. Comics were only rage until the controllers of the minds of people in this nation thought that it is a good way to keep kids away from studies and filtering them and as soon as they realised that reading anyways makes the mind grow, comics disappeared from the scene. Seems unbelievable? Yes, things are this simple and and the ones having access to your minds are this retarded. The privileged kids consume foreign videogames, anime and other foreign media while the unprivileged consume unfiltered reality and throw stones on running trains. I have things in pipeline and I will write them when I get enough time and drive. It's funny this nation. Till then you can enjoy the substandard shit that Bollywood is churning out. 

Bullet Train

I remember the kind of writer I was in the early 2010s. There was an innocence to my writing back then. My stories were still fatalistic in nature but back then I still had hope. I miss the simplistic beauty of my early writing days. With time I realised that hope is the enemy, though still not totally useless. Instead of having hope for the future one must have hope for the present to have a peaceful life through resolution of the conflicts present in life. We live in reality where those who are supposed to live "a good life" are already chosen and for the rest there is just suffering and my goal through my writing is to alleviate this needless suffering because I have realised that not only it is all needless and inflicted it is also artificial in nature and not due to people's own karma. When you know as much as me you'd realise that karma doesn't really exist except as a tool for exploitation and the concept of it is utilised by those who themsleves face no karma for their actions. Achieving deep peace in present so that all worries, even if they don't go away, become superficial and letting go of the future is the deal. The exploitative setup we live under feigns being God but thankfully it is not though it has all the powers and reach of God, and if someone wants to consider it God, good on him but I'm not that guy. Back in the days I used to believe in motorcycling to the mountains and camping there, now I know that it is not possible in this country or if possible only as a contained and curated delusion which I detest. I like authentic experiences and authentic experiences don't exist in this country and it's a shame because if you can't have authentic experiences in a third world country you know that you can't have it anywhere else in the world. But then this country has both the first world and the third world within it though the design is shit. I prefer travelling in the general compartment compared to the first class, but then the issue is the criminalisation of the general compartment and that means you can't really travel in the general compartment without getting your pockets picked or getting poisoned, of course this is a metaphor but it's true literally in most cases. When you know as much as I know you'd know that the criminalisation is by design and it is a protective measure for the ones in the first class compartment who unfortunately are themsleves criminals, just without any consequences. So here you realise that the concept of karma is out of the window. It's okay though, I never really thought of travelling in the first class, at max if I ever did, I thought about travelling in the third AC and that too with my own money and capability and this is where this country becomes even more beautiful, it makes you travelling in third AC that too with your own money seem like a privilege. Things, as it seems are going to get worse. We got Mexico, Afghanistan, Burundi all in one nation and these things are cultivated while those who cultivate Mexico style crime, Afghanistan style tribalism and Burundi style under development keep their heads in the asshole of the West. I have no hope that people have enough integrity left to make authentic art in this country, I know it from my experience and the methods used to destroy integrity of people is by baits, intimidation and direct torture. All art you see, might possibly be, either pure skill of those who are chosen, or propaganda. The lack of intelligence along with the entitlement is staggering and I wonder how did it all develop in just seventy years after the British unless they were already criminals. Which if you know enough you'd know that they are. You know for whom my heart goes out for? The little kids, the boys and girls in school uniforms, in government schools who salute the national flag in their assembly and the uncles who send letters to Hindi newspapers complaining about the corruption and poor state of roads. It's going to get worse because there is nothing that can be done when control is in hands of criminals each one of them a genocidal rapist at a different level thinking themselves as the hero of the story. Though the saddest part is that these individuals are not even intelligent despite having access to all the knowledge in the world, conspiratorial yes, intelligent no. 

Uttam Pradesh

One way to become civilised is to actively make other people uncivilized. This is what the British did to this country. You really have to mature to finally realise the depth of the damage that British did to this country but that's not the sad part, the sad part is the damage that is still and continuosly being done by their ballsacks left behind. Cultures could have coexisted but coexistence doesn't seem to be an option now. The death of actual aesthetics has been real and has been replaced by Brave New World style direct to the nerves soma that could make you feel like you are in heaven even if you are in Dharavi or make you feel like you are in hell even if you are at the most beautiful place on the earth. The fun part that has happened with me in the past decade is the way my authentic preferences have been policed and stupid shit that I "really deserve" being forced upon me. I am not really a snob, and it's impossible to be a snob when you see deprivation of people at the scale I have seen. Though the truth is that I like what I like. As far as Purvanchal goes, the establishment with more than ten years of my experience of it is composed solely of rapists which I find funny when I see how dogmatically religion is practiced here. The cockblocking of people is at next level and release is only given when there is requirement of something to blackmail people for. I mean I'm kind of fine with the clockblocking as I have always been a romantic kind of a guy not into direct action but the point of contention for me at least is how people's sex lives are micromanaged and policed in Purvanchal by no less than actual rapists. The shit you saw in Masaan, yes the Richa Chadha part, is actually real just a level deeper where it is invisible. It's a harem out here in Purvanchal which I find funny because harems are not an Indian concept and much less for a region that is so steeped in religion, a dogmatic interpreration of it at that, and I somehow guess that situation in Bihar is uglier and much worse. Have I gotten crazy? I don't really care at this point, I'm just writing all this so that people who read this shit, truth comes flooding to them when it's time for them to face the reality of this nation. There is peace in Purvanchal in the outlook and it is maintained by absolute totalitarianism at the psychological level by keeping people helpless socially and financially. When people are broken from inside of course they would be "peaceful". Rape is a valid currency. It's a fucking currency in Purvanchal, while all you'd see these motherfuckers talking is about ideals and rules. I live seventy kilometres away from Varanasi and now I find that place revolting. Seems fitting that Varanasi is the loksabha constituency of Modi ji but make no mistake this ecosystem has been if not grown by Congress, congress has had an active part in it. I accept that I might not know everything but I have had enough experience in my life and I know enough to make sense of things. People are not only being deprived of money but are being intentionally deprived of basic things like contentment and satisfaction which they could have found themselves but are being actively prevented from having. The rule isn't that you should be a slave, the rule is that you should be a slave and also suffer and no less than terribly throughout your existence. When one sees this setup one realises that these are cretins with more power than they deserve but then that's the thing about power it mostly goes to those who don't deserve it because the very act of acquiring power demands deception and crude use of force which an evolved human being won't do. Neurological airconditioning, that is the modern day soma, is no match for the authentic happiness and peace that I have in my life. It's funny how retarded these assholes are despite having access to literature left by ancient masters of this land, but I guess they are probably guided by West's cock in their assholes.

Biting and Chewing

Art is important. All those romantic movies, 50 First Dates, The Proposal, The Notebook you watched are important. Not because they deluded you into thinking romance is possible in life but because it shows you that you can find a way for beauty to coexist even with totalitarian politics. Being deluded with romance and idealism is a real threat as in the world we live in today, especially in this country it leaves you prone to exploitation and that's why I keep writing because I don't want good people to get exploited, not even one of them. It was baffling for me when I realised that this country is as direct as it looks, kind of like Gangs of Wasseypur meets The Matrix. Money is essential and if you don't have that you can make use of nothing that I write and when religion gets involved we are dealing with cosmic level victim blaming and exploitation. Here is the cycle of life of a common person in this country. Be born, suffer, get blamed for your own suffering, die. While getting blamed for one's own suffering maybe correct if one is responsible for their suffering, like if I get lung cancer due to my habit of smoking, but then there is a deeper setup in which most of your "mistakes" or transgressions are not even yours and you get "punished" for them anyway, but here is the kicker, those who "punish" you aren't even deserving to dole out that punishment and even not even deserving to think the way about people they actually do. Establishments differ but the big daddy establishment seems to be one. My life is pristine and I have nothing to gain from writing the kind of crazy shit that I do and yet I do because I know the extent human souls can be tortured and for nothing. These aren't even religious appointees, these are straight up criminals and lower class at that. I don't even believe in class but I have a problem when lower class criminal scum judge the class of people way better than them. How does this work? It's straight up sociopolitical manipulation, creating false facts in the lives of people and since they are facts people can't deny them but they are false, it works by creating family secrets such as incest and exploiting them. Isn't this country beautiful? Just a couple of decades ago middle class had a culture. There used to be magazines, there used to be Kavi Sammelans, there used to be Hindi literature. You opened the newspaper on the day of Holi and there was Ashok Chakradhar with his poems. It all became redundant which you can blame on the internet but how come Shakespeare did not become redundant and only Premchand did. The ones who own you are getting paid by Korean corporations to feed your kids KPop, by Japanese corporations to feed them Anime and by American corporations to feed them American superhero movies while Amar Chitra Katha and indigenous comics die a painful death. They have not only sold their souls but also yours. Too direct? Unfortunately there is no other way to put it. It's a genocide going on not only of people but also of finer cultures of the middle and lower class and while finer culture dies the lower classes are made to carry the burden of a reinvented mongrel culture devoid of dignity and religious dogma perpetuated by those who distribute prasadam made of animal fat. Am I in the dangerous territory? If I'm, you'd get the news. Choose your vibes, and preserve them, even if all of them are already preserved because these bastards are too stupid to even properly analyse them and without proper analysis they are going to get extinct. Though when I see the bigger picture it doesn't really matter, as I realise that they really went ahead with what no one would even have dreamt was possible and that is absolute totalitarianism. This country is absolutely ugly behind all the grand facade but that's not the issue the issue is that this ugliness is all designed just to deprive human souls, who are less privileged, of beauty. 

Kinda Hot Psychosis

What would you call incompetence? Would you call it incompetence if someone knows all that is there to know about you, and technically knows more about you than even you know about you even to the minutest details like how many times you have farted in your life and still fail to judge you right? What if I tell you that right judgement was never the goal? I mean I have dealt with the topic as a bunch of individuals for whom the common people are like animals of slaughter and whom they mindlessly slaughter but then that’s not the only deal here there is a personal element to it too. Sustained release sadism and schadenfreude. Can you associate schadenfreude with God? I can’t and yet it is associated with Him. I have seen a bunch of megalomaniacal assholes whom I had no business with at all announce themselves as Greek gods, yes the same as Zeus and Poseidon and Hera. Real life is a warzone, internet life is a warzone and mind is also a warzone, in fact it has been a warzone since even before the internet, you were just too busy to notice it. Thanks to my knowledge of psychiatry I have been able to get a peek into the psychology of individuals who make people’s minds a warzone and they are at different levels of irreversible psychological pathologies. I didn’t want in on this kind of shit but I was given access without wanting and without asking and I made my diagnoses. It’s about money, sex, power and rank which even a retard could guess looking at the world but you know the worst thing of it all? It’s about nothing else. You understand that? That’s the tragedy. Everything other than money, sex, power and rank is a drama from the source itself. Your first comic book or first bicycle wouldn’t be a drama to you but it is a drama to those who, control would be a wrong word, own this country and without your knowledge, own you. Since they can normalise anything they want, they have normalised their entitlement and rapey behaviour, and since they are incompetent too now they are normalising their incompetence too or worse they are blaming their incompetence on innocents and then torturing and murdering them for that incompetence. This country turned out to be a hilarious shitshow, which I first began experiencing in 2004 through my hometown and it continued until I became, and totally unintentionally, privy to the greater setup in 2013. These classless fucks who run people like robots by pumping them with nerve impulse complexes and thought complexes that aren’t even aligned to their personalities consider themselves as gods and these gods have the huge Western and Arab cocks in their assholes which guide them to how to take care of “their” people and by people I mean animals of slaughter who they breed, groom and do experiments, including eugenics, with. Here is the design, a bunch of families in every region and criminals employed by them for crowd control. Rest everyone is cannon fodder. Kinda disappointing. I used to believe in Indira Gandhi and B R Ambedkar till the early 2010s. It would be just hilarious if you become acquainted with the “gods” who are shaping your life like a potter or even better, hijacking it completely using your body as a bodysuit and living vicariously through your life experiences manipulating you and walking you around like an automaton. I mean I kinda have to decide whether I’m in an episode of Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi or Neuromancer. Isn’t it a shame, all the culture, traditions you grew up believing in are essentially fake, I mean they are real for those who believe in them, and it’s essentially Westworld out here. 

Bare Bones Social

I find myself thinking a lot about tangible things while I like thinking about intangible things. Love is intangible, and becomes tangible once it is expressed and that stands for any form of love. It’s not only my belief that love can move mountains it is also true. The only two things that matter to me in my life are love and truth, money of course it matters for physical survival and when not present it can overshadow everything else but love and truth if you are idealistic enough can persist even then. We live in a setting where everyone is caged in the prisons of their own delusions and desires. It is a prison constructed by individuals who own the world and it is sustained by continuous baiting and laying traps, emotional, psychological and financial. If your imagination is intact in today’s times, you are blessed because other than money, imagination is all you need to survive well. For living well there are other considerations like relationships but the setting we live in, bottom line here is that relationships, although absolutely essential for social survival, have been rendered redundant and just business. It's a give and take scenario when relationships are concerned and to be honest it is what is safe in the world of today, except family of course because we don’t really think of our safety when it comes to family. The world dictates that you hoard money and it is actually the right thing to do. Truth doesn’t really have value when everything is a lie and people can’t even recognize it and love ceases to exist when it becomes transactional, but truth and love exist and while they might become extinct in the visible sense they are eternal forces that would never really go extinct because it is in nature of humans to seek truth and love and it is only politics that deludes them to prevent them from seeking love and truth to retain power. You can see the play here, those who have access to the truth and abundance of love (which they may or may not value)  prevent people from having them and the same goes for money. Life stripped of delusions is great because it is then you cut the crap and focus on the basics. I have stripped my life to the basics, I follow interests which are really and actually my interests, I do things that nourish my soul and I sleep a good night’s sleep with my soul at peace. I do nothing that I don’t enjoy except for things at work due to political consideration which is essential for survival, and that too I keep it to bare minimum to just get me out of political catch-22 situations at work. I have seen the bare bones of how this country actually works, it’s nothing short of demonic and even way beyond it but also very pathetic. It’s basically exploitation of every need, even basic survival needs. The individuals who run the setup that control this nation would exploit your health, they would exploit your need for a job to earn money and feed your family. We are being ruled by absolute scammers and the scamming only ends with your life. The deal is to not to take any bait and it is an exceptionally hard thing to do considering the nature of control. Once you have ensured financial security which in itself is an extremely hard thing to do you can cut the crap and focus on things that really matter. I let go of the thought of new authentic relationships in my life when I realised that every relationship, even family, can be sabotaged with no fault of yours. It kind of freed me. I like to preserve relationships so I try to preserve relationships that are already in my life and I keep other relationships strictly transactional, honest, well-intentioned but strictly transactional. Like Osho had said in one of his interviews: “people are retarded” and they actually are and it would be a really lucky coincidence if you find someone who is not but in the kind of control we live in, coincidences have a very low probability of happening. You have your imagination and if it is good, which a lot of people aren’t as lucky to have, cherish your imagination. It, except money, is all you need to get by in this country and the world if you are a common man but have no misconceptions, in the upper echelons, it's all money and contacts. 

NSAIDs

I sometimes think about the cosmological irrelevance of humanity. I am a Lovecraft fan and I like his idea of cosmic irrelevance because it humbles you as a human being. It is one of the reasons I have been able to easily thwart political persecution which in my case has been an Oldboy style no reasons given torture of more than a decade. Thanks to my training as a physician, I have been able to easily decode the setup, though I feel that me being a physician only increases my suffering because my dignity as a physician prevented me from doing a lot of things that I could have done. It's true though doctors are slapped around in this country and at every level, and from what I see doctors are really not required as people's fates and lives and deaths are pre-decided by criminals and it's hilarious when I see politicians going abroad for medical treatment. It's a legitimate business though exploiting even things like health but with AI and ChatGPT in picture people are going to see the scam that is healthcare soon. It's not really a scam, healthcare, but it is in this country. Surgeons and trauma doctors are the most important doctors. It wasn't really baffling to me to see education being gatekept as this country has had a history of gatekeeping scriptures from lower classes but it baffled me to see healthcare being gatekept. Though my bafflement got promptly cured when I realised that not only healthcare is being gatekept, there is active murder of people going on which only a person in healthcare would understand. Healthcare is not a business but it is in this country but I can't really say much for places like Purvanchal where even things like food are being gatekept. Doctors of this country have adapted in the past decade or so, becoming unprofessional and corrupt but then given my experiences only other option is suffering which I don't think anyone except fools like me would choose. 

Subway

The realisation of real hierarchy of Indian society was a baffling experience for me but I was not surprised because I always knew it deep down. I have been minding my own business throughout and here I was needlessly getting exposed to the real setup. Of course there is more to life, or there was. The most sobering realisation of it all was absolute lack of class in the ruling class of this country, entitlement with absolute lack of class. It's a common experience, you go to a doctor's conference and doctors are more bothered about lining up at the food stalls than the actual conference. Though I now completely understand why. When health is a business and a way of population control then there isn't much that is left to say. I personally try to give my patients value for money and I don't charge much. Though one's got to make a living. There isn't much that can be done about systemic issues. You be in the business for long and you realise that it's about movement of capital. The most hilarious thing of it all is that one doesn't really have to be criminal in the kind of control that is present but then this is where the true soul of this nation outed itself to me. I became a doctor to heal people and I do that to the best of my ability. There is a lot to say but then it is worthless too. It's a slavery situation in which the people are ruled by incompetent as well as entitled assholes. What is better, to know the truth that you are doomed or to be delusional until the doom actually arrives. I prefer the former. The truth is disappointing, but then I'm just glad that it is not the actual truth, just the political or should I say deeper political truth. I have better things to do. I have better things to write and I have realised that this shitshow is permanent. What was amusing to me was absolute lack of self-esteem and dignity in Bihar and Purvanchal as a region, but then that's what you get when you get the kind of individuals who can even sell their mothers and the world for their personal gains and power. This country has deteriorated, or so it seems when you look at the internet, I, however, know that the deterioration is consistent and since forever and has just exacerbated because a bunch of motherfuckers on gaining power have got into the mode of pillage while you can. I have better things to do but I enjoy documenting the shitshow once in a while as it serves as a record for our times. Future is not going to be kind to people on social media, especially in this country as I doubt the assholes who really run the "business" have the aptitude to improve. 

Leela Inc.

At this point I take life as a videogame, because it is one once you get the enlightenment of the political reality. I have been playing it on the extra hard setting even before I was enlightened about the political reality of this country and the world but a good thing is that along with the realisation of the deep politics of this country, I also realised that something way deeper than empires and politics exists. This thing doesn't really help you survive as survival is solely dependent on resources and hence the dogfight for them, but it empowers you when you already have enough to at least survive. This country is undoubtedly a shithole and I'm not saying this based on its external appearance, I'm saying this after realising something that can never be corrected. India as a country has ended, probably a very long back than I realised, it's about its moral and spiritual death, and from my perspective I have seen its funeral. What remains is a police state in which policing is done by genocidal rapists of different levels and at a level so deep that people don't even know that they are being policed and manipulated. Mass scale social engineering without regard to people, manipulation and exploitation of people is being done and from what I know since quite a while I know it's not a BJP or Congress problem. The setup is like the movies Snowpiercer and Platform which was not a surprise to me as I was aware of it what was surprising to me was the depth of it and mindless murder and rape and of course sadistic torture of people despite knowing their complete family and personal histories. It's a family based setup and I know it because the anchor is family histories, control is direct and for long sustained released sadism long games are played and family secrets like incest are created and exploited. This, is what happens practically in this so called "dharmic" nation, the Vishwaguru, the golden bird of ancient times, India. I mean I may sound crazy, but then that's what the modus operandi is, discrediting anyone who speaks the truth unfortunately it doesn't work on me because of the person I am and it surprises me that I'm alone in this but I also understand that because every one has got their custom tailored delusions and the conditioning is fear and shame based which is exploited in real-time. I mean if I knew that there is a King in this country, I would have respected him, but I don't see any and I can't really respect what I don't see especially when going by my experiences it has been confirmed that these motherfuckers are genocidal rapists who mindlessly torture, rape and exploit people for no reason at all. I have lived a life worse than death before realisation of the deep political reality, but I realise that living a life worse than death is normal in this country and human soul has an endurance that gets used to fates even worse than death. There is no God really as I know that godmen of this country are corrupt and are stooges of the individuals in the first class compartment of the train of this country who again may be in the third class compartment when we consider the global train. The best part I had no business in all this, I was just a physician wanting to be a psychiatrist and a physician-writer and here I am, writing shit that is hard to believe and yet very important for liberating people from needless suffering. What you see in newspapers and TV news is just one percent of what actually happens, this country is nothing short of demonic, the Slumdog Millionaire gouging-eyes-out-of-the-socket-with-hot-spoon demonic and religion, business and corporate is unfortunately an integral part of it and it is definitely all politics. But then as I said, there is something deeper than empires and politics exists and you can manifest it but it requires you already having resources for survival as if it didn't Islam and Britain wouldn't have invaded and colonised this country and the present state of this country wouldn't have been like it is today. This something deep is what you can call God, I manifest it as Mother Goddesses I have faith in. God doesn't really protect a lamb whose legs have been broken for YouTube views for live feeding a Komodo Dragon. To survive you need to have aggresive delusion but I prefer to live and not survive and I have finally realised that life is not worth living in this 1984 like dystopia but you gotta carry on for the people you love as long as you can. Future was always here, and since quite a while, and your past walks with you. Focus on having fun, because the ones in the first class compartment of the society both local, national and global, who were supposed to be Kings and leaders have reduced life to a videogame. 

Write Concepts #12

Having a blog in 2025? That's outdated and yet I persist. I like people who still like to read. There is no good writing anymore and so one has to rely on the books of 20th century but they are good enough and above all they are classy. I had never thought reading and writing would be a form of rebellion but then realized that poets and poetry were suppressed in India in the British era. I'm no rebel but then one's gotta oppose shit that is criminal though one has reached a stage where everything other than food, clothing and shelter is make-believe and specially things like morals and laws. In this country it's like this: that you just have to pretend to believe in laws and morals and individuals who actually believe in them are at disadvantage. The truth, like it is said in Geeta, you are just an instrument, here in the political sense too because your fate is pre-decided and if not it would be decided in real time by the kind of individuals you'd not like to be even hundred kilometers near. I have seen a level of retardation that I didn't think was possible and this country actually surprised me and not in a good way to be sure. The most fun part of it all was that all of this was in a country that has a treasure of philosophies and philosophical systems that could have been built upon. I wanted to write a novel in 2010 and by the late 2010s I realised that it is redundant and useless. In this country only depressive novels like The White Tiger and Sacred Games written by well connected privileged circlejerkers work and it has no place for good fantasy stuff. Unfortunately the depressed shit written by the privileged for the privileged is actually truth of our society which interestingly is consumed by individuals who don't know what suffering is or worse are directly involved in the propagation and maintenance of suffering of the people. I love comics, but my hope for good homegrown comics has diminished so much that it is almost negligible and anyway the truth I have seen about this country and its society things like comics and even movies stop to matter. I still write though, my experiences in my blogs so that people can learn from them and make right decisions, well, as much as it is possible in the deeper political setting of this country, and I write fiction to have the pleasure of creation. To put it simply I write because I enjoy writing. I hope to write the novels I have in my head though not commercially, and I hope to keep creating as a writer in form of short stories, flash fiction and vignettes. Like I said everything except food, clothing and shelter is make-believe at this point and those who have not woken up to this truth are up for a tough ride ahead.

Please Find Attached

The era of metaphors has ended. Needless complexity needlessly fries the mind and when you live in a political system that is the literal definition of Occam’s Razor then there is definitely no need to needlessly complicate things. I have personally come a long way to bother about getting affected by being branded crazy. There have been people before me to experience what I have and there will be people after me to do the same. I personally want to put an end to the snake oil that is growth and future for my people. It’s just a bait and it has ruined a life for many. Competition is a scam and the way this country works is only two things that matter for young people are education and money. By education I also mean the ability to see the system for what it is. How difficult is it for a person to peacefully do his work? This question has as many answers as there are people, but if you asked me, it’s impossible. What did I want, take care of people’s health and get paid for it which I do but the amount of effort it takes me to do that is nothing short of herculean and here we are getting in the realm of subjectivity and hilariously it is one of the main things of this political play, denying people’s subjective experiences and enforcing one’s own delusions on them. But who are we kidding, the rot is so deep that even people’s objective experiences are denied. The trick to decoding power dynamics is simple Pavlovian psychology, only idealistic people do things that are painful and unsavoury others only use power when they have the edge and since the deep government of this country is composed of criminals they have no qualms about doing anything to anyone but they do it because they have enough power and it feels good especially when I have realised that the whole setup is composed of sadists and criminally insane. When you start to think about the world in terms of control you realise that you can breed and groom people for specific tasks, especially in the scenario of the kind of control we are living in. When I realised the true nature of existence, life actually lost its meaning. I'm not the kind of person who likes to enjoy when others are suffering or enjoy excesses while depriving others but the truth is the actual controllers of this country and the world are these same kinds of individuals. It’s basically a kind of defence mechanism to permanently retain power. Cruelty is a feature and not a bug. I have always been into smaller happinesses, the actual human happinesses, like a small kid getting a surprise gift of a bicycle from his father. These individuals who are habituated of excesses at the expense of others would never understand the importance of these little things, of how it is to actually be human. But that’s the setup and people like me have to survive in it for the sake of loved ones and play useless power games in order to survive at work when I could have just done my work for money and buried myself into my interests after I came home. In Purvanchal it's basically rabid dogs that protect the meat, kind of a simplistic, straightforward system which might be true for greater nation too though what might be particular to Purvanchal is the war effort that goes into depriving people of basic needs, even things like food. The trick is to know that with any kind of surveillance, even though your consciousness and memory can be completely known, knowing your subconscious is impossible, at least at present and I don’t know about the future, though your access to your subconscious can be cut off. I have cracked the code of why good people suffer and it is because literal criminals control the providence. The simplicity of setup was disappointing but then what can you expect from a former colony which for all I know might still be a colony, just at a deeper level.

Immaterial Rock and Rolla

What matters? That’s the question. The answer is happiness. Only and only happiness matters. But for that one has to ensure survival and survival that is food, clothing and shelter is secured with money and money requires, for good people at least, work. The sociopolitical enlightenment about the world entails realising that those who really have money do not work at all, if at all they do anything, they exploit, it is so common that it is almost a rule. A common man seeking happiness can’t even fathom how the rich function but those who truly control the setup always play on offensive after permanently securing themselves while maintaining the illusion of them being philanthropists and benevolent. It is not hard to guess but it is just so unbelievable that those who truly hold power and money would do that because a good man won’t do that but when you’re dealing with money and power and if you want to hold it forever this is the most optimised solution. Thinking of common people as humans becomes a weakness and so common people are thought of as numbers or, if cruelty is involved which more often than not it is, as animals of slaughter or property. One has to realise that if their minds and bodies can be manipulated without consent they are effectively slaves and since one can’t really prove it there is no requirement of paperwork. I have been lucky enough, although it entailed tremendous suffering, to see the whole setup. And although I believe in God as an empowering energy, the existence of God we have been conditioned to believe in since our childhoods is impossible. What remains? Family is the bottomline and it remains although in this setting it becomes impossible to keep the family together but one has to try. What else remains? Trying to be happy and having fun. At a personal level, it is one’s work, studies and interests and hobbies. Since it is all about money, money is of prime importance but if you are anything like me you’d keep family and happiness above money which should not be a mistake but it is a mistake in the world of today. My initial interest was in natural science and health based science but in the way of pursuing my interest I finally realised that the way to all science goes through politics. It’s unfortunate but it’s true and so began my quest for finding the ultimate lifestyle, though not foolproof as no lifestyle can be foolproof as long as politics exists, which is adapted to the politics of this country. I have spent 35 years of my life in this country and I have realised that the actual reality of this country is exactly how it is in the outlook. There is nothing deeper, especially now when the 90s are more than twenty five years behind. It’s just a bunch of criminals playing The Sims and Age of Empires with people and this Life Sim and Real Time Strategy can any day become a Role Playing or First Person Shooter. It’s very difficult to understand the setup when one is unacquainted to it. It doesn’t really matter though and I have zeroed in on what actually matters. And anyway earth is a rock revolving around a mass of exploding gases. 

End of A Civilization

While I found joy in my childhood due to my family and community, as I matured I was able to know the actual truth about this nation. I realised that "hell is other people" and while during my college days I focused on psychiatry as I wanted to be a psychiatrist but with time I realised that mental health problems are nothing but neuropolitical exploitation and it's a slavery, rape and exploitation setup perpetuated by a nexus of old money, politicians, industrialists, corporations, mafia and godmen. The government is only on paper and works as working arm of the nexus I just talked about. I wouldn't be talking about all this but I do because it is directly connected to the health of people. When you realise the extent and absoluteness of control you finally realise how demonic this nation is, which would only be fine if it is still under, although neuropolitically, control of the West. I have seen the setup and if by a chance these motherfuckers have autonomy in governance of this nation that would mean that you are living under a government populated by the kind of guys who like Slumdog Millionaire scoop out eyes of children and make them beg at signals. When an ancient culture and a third world country is not authentic and has Westworld like control setup then there cannot really be any hope for authenticity in this world. I belong from Purvanchal, and I know how beautiful my culture was but it has given me nothing but pain, it's a liability and not because of people from other cultures but because of individuals who are in control of the culture. I mean what could psychiatry do when the issue is you getting exploited at neurological level by local village rapists. You understand the concept of village rapists, don't you? The same kind who prevent lower class people from entering temples and rape women of a person's family in front of him to assert dominance, these are the kind of individuals who are shaping the culture in Purvanchal and when I go to Varanasi and see people talking in terms of mythology and Ramcharitmanas it makes me sick. I realise that while I can save my memories and vibes in my writings, my culture is effectively dead because it was in hands of village rapists who value only sex and money. I find it funny that psychiatrists who spend years, close to a decade, in medical colleges to help people with mental health get trumped by village rapists. The value of a village rapist is more than a psychiatrist in this country. I really have to see the face of the asshole who designed this setup. Of course there is no God but you got to visit the temple because your visits to temples and how many times you organise Satyanarayana Katha get logged in your account, faith is mathematics for these motherfuckers. In short in Purvanchal village rapists are your God, they just took an already existing system and made it undetectable while rape, sadism and torture is as potent as before. It's easy to put blame on BJP but BJP only brought out the symptoms, it's actually Congress that is responsible for the rot, given if ever Congress was in control. The way things are my guess is that the influence of the British never actually went away and they control the colony through their proxies at a neurological level. I'm a health professional and so I know that there is a genocide of people going on in this country and I'm totally not overstating it. And if I talk politically, they are dismantling all hierarchies except the one hierarchy that they are in, and genociding old classy families. My advice is to try to have as much fun as possible and spending as much time with family as possible. If you value authenticity and purpose then this country has ended and it's probably because the controllers of this country either are slaves of Whites and Muslims or have sold themselves to them. There is no bigger picture here, small happinesses are all that is left.

The Great Experiment

Whenever I think I'm done with political writing I get ideas which I have to write down. It's since 2013 I have been exposed to the greater setup of this nation and I don't really consider it my fault that I got to witness some horrific things. Anyway, I don't want to lose sight of my goal that is to write things which are not political in nature which is kind of funny because I now realise that all art and writing is political. I would prefer to write about love but love in present times just exists as a relic of forgotten times and a thing to be exploited. If it is not present in a controlled environment, that the privileged have for them it is no less than torture but you have got to choose to either suffer for it or not. Suffering, especially the suffering that is inflicted on you which I now realise that it is political in nature and not of divine origin is artificial. You can salvage your soul, or more accurately your essence as I don't believe in things like souls especially in this economy but I sure do hope for it, and do what you are supposed to do. My priority is family because I know rest of the things including society and other people are, for better or for the worse, taken care of. It's surveillance at a whole new scale and it has been there forever. People are not dissimilar to pigs who are being force fed and then made to perform or the less privileged pigs are chosen for slaughter some times of a public nature. The only catch here is that the pigs are being force fed by feed bought from their own money. While I am a sucker for the grandeur of ancient India, Chandragupta Maurya, The Cholas, The Pandyas. I now realise that it is not possible anymore and it is because people are literally under the reign of village rapists. The most important thing is that India won't even achieve what China has managed to achieve, and while there are Bullet Trains in plan for the future in India it stops to matter because the soul of the country has been raped. I consider myself a nationalist but then I realised that nationalism means different things to different people just like any other ideology and it's the gap in the understanding of ideologies and philosophies of people that these village rapists, who are the true government of the country, exploit. It's an airtight setup of surveillance moonlighting as intelligence and providence in which shit can get real for people at any time for no fault of theirs and this airtight setup has a tadka of religion, which to my dismay didn't turn out to be what I thought. So prioritize your life, forgive your family and loved ones and do not forget to have as much fun you can without hurting anyone of course. The Bengal Tiger is the national animal of this country but my experiences since 2013 have made me realise that the real national animal of this country is a rabid dog. I'm kind of less nationalistic now, and more patriotic just towards this land and not to the government. People are already being turned into beasts which is what happens when culture is co-opted and destroyed from within. I wanted to write cool stuff in 2011 and that I will try to write. It doesn't matter but I'll do it purely for the joy of it as I enjoy writing. Always remember the basics it's only nature and universe that are authentic sources of joy, rest are just pleasures which you can seek or choose not to seek. 

Shanti Kunj

It's about freedom to listen to Trent Reznor; but the catch is that if you have to need the freedom to listen to Trent Reznor, Trent Reznor stops to matter. Hells can be designed for people and there are as many hells possible as there are people in the world. It's not about the hell, it's whether the individuals delivering hell to people deserve to deliver hells to people. I mean when undeserving gatekeep people from listening to Trent Reznor one is forced to think about it and then one realises that it is in fact only the undeserving who gatekeep people. Shitshow is tremendous and it's funny too. It gets incredibly funny when one has to go through a totally needless humiliation ritual, and especially when one has done nothing to deserve that. I'll give you an example of it. It is like someone invites you to a party and when you go to it, he humiliates you despite you having done nothing to deserve it. What does that tell about the one inviting you? Of course it is hatred and of course it is baseless. It was post my thirties that I realised that religion and politics, that too of rape and exploitation, are closely interconnected in this country. Before that I used to think that religion in this country is handled by the kind of people who wrote philosophical works on yoga, on Puranas and Vedas. Turns out it's is all a performative drama though one has to know and remember that it's not the fault of the philosophy but of those who have control of it. What I tell is bottomline, and while you should enjoy the delusion that is assigned to you, you should also know the bottomline truth. I find it funny that my region is so inferior that an asshole from South India can judge me solely based on my region despite having all the data about me and while I didn't consider my region inferior and which it originally wasn't, now I know for a fact that it is inferior I mean that's what you get when literal village rapists and extortionists control the culture. My culture is dead, and the final nail in its coffin was when recently Sharda Sinha died. There are a few glimmers of hope, like Deepali Sahay, but they would be consumed by the systemic exploitation and wouldn't be able to do what they are capable of. It was baffling to me when I realised that there weren't any religious or moral reasons for the suffering of people, these motherfuckers are just torturing and ending anyone they want based on their whims, the reasons they pull out of their assholes after they are done torturing and raping people. The basic game is of faux analogies, and it reminds me of a piece of writing that I read in a book from Shanti Kunj, Haridwar. A sage despite living a pious life suffered tremendously whole of his life and when during the end of his life he asked God why did he suffer in his life despite following every ritual and living a pious life, he was told that it is because he killed a butterfly when he was a kid. It's normalisation of suffering, which is okay if we are really stretching it but when we see the other side of the story the suffering is actually torture on the whims of actual criminals. I was into psychiatry but I finally realised that there is no recovery from psychiatric conditions in this country at least. When you normalise hypocrisy and schadenfreude in people half of the job is done and this has been already achieved in Purvanchal and that's why I say that my culture is dead. Authenticity only remains in lower classes and it is fast disappearing, and I make sure that I soak in it while it is still there. These motherfuckers with cock of the West in their assholes are making the unprivileged carry the burden of culture and traditions while at the same time torturing them. I like my Trent Reznor and gatekeeping Trent Reznor was a new development which manifested in 2013 but I'm thankful because I finally got to know what my lovely people go through on a daily basis. And this shit gets worse when you realise that it's your local mafia and contractors, unfortunately they are literally your God. It's hilarious to see that I'm deeper than the deep state of this country, but then my depth is the very thing ladies have always liked me for.

The Uneding Game

Being an outsider gives a 360 degree view of things. I would have never realised that I was an outsider to my own region, but turns out I was and for such a trivial reason that could have been negotiated with. I realised that I was at the margin of my region made an outcast for a reason that was neither moral nor ethical in nature which would have been acceptable to me. And what I saw next made me realise that while people have grand imaginations of their fates and future it is in fact based on the whims of bottom feeding criminals who unfortunately aren't even competent. What I saw from the margins made me realise that I am good at the margins as personally I wouldn't have wanted to be a part of such a setup. I have seen the reality and that made me realise that all the religion and spirituality even though helpful for common people, is actually hogwash. Though faith is important and it is in my worst times I relied on my faith and so should you. When you come to know that bottom feeding criminals are writing your Kundali there isn't much left to know, and you quietly accept your fate deciding to exist solely for the people you love. Love is great when you are privileged but when you are not, it's torture. Though I would prefer to be tortured for love anyday than be devoid of it. My beautiful culture got destroyed and now nothing can save it because of the very nature of the setup of control. Everything in my lovely culture has ended up becoming a performance, even love and it is so because authentic expression of love, kindness, community, honesty gets exploited as soon as it surfaces, so people are making do with performative aspects of them. The culture I loved so much died somewhere in the 90s and I finally got to attend it's funeral when I was tortured for no reason. It was funny to me to realise that the basics, that too in a place like Purvanchal, would be sex and money though it aligns with the pattern in the greater nation. I finally realised that Whites and the west are intelligent because they don't allow anyone else to be intelligent and the travesty of the whites of this country who, I finally realised that, are the village rapists and extortionists who managed to accumulate wealth and power after the British visibly left this nation, is that they aren't even intelligent despite not allowing anyone else to be intelligent. I mean there is a possibility it's a hierarchy and actual whites don't allow the so-called whites of this nation to be intelligent but then that's just an assumption. It may be that these motherfuckers are actually this incompetent. Life is all about choices and someone has made a lot of wrong choices and after thirty five years of my life, I'm sure that it's not me. I talk in bottomline and what I say might not seem true but if you peal the layers of the political reality of human existence, which I don't suggest you do, it is what you'd find. There are decoys abound to fool you and generalisation in such a scenario would seem foolish but this country and the assholes controlling it are so careless that they don't even bother about covering their tracks. India is the Bihar of the world which, might have been a compliment in Chandragupta Maurya's era but, is definitely not a compliment today. The saddest thing of all is that this is the state of this country despite having a treasure of indigenous spiritual systems and philosophies. 

Eastworld Dehat

We live in times where hope and reality would invariably come in conflict with each other. I mean I don't hope for a growth for myself where I have to consume innocents in order to grow. Although I'm aware of the big fish eats small fish scenario of this world. It's sad that despite all the progress humanity expresses itself as a food chain and one has to climb at the top of it by consuming the ones at the lower levels. Realising this reality was not a surprise for me. The surprise for me was the mass delusion the apex predators of our era blanket the people with so that they are easy to consume. Isn't it beautiful, human psychology is basically ethology in essence with all the so called empathy and "humanistic psychology" and spirituality merely acting as a decoy and as baits. As a physician my focus was on mental health but I ultimately realised that you can't really save anyone as there is a machine employed to consume people and make them destroy either themsleves or others. Here is a trick to identify good people, it's not sure shot way but still quite accurate. Good people hurt themselves instead of hurting others. There is a catch though, weak people also sometimes hurt themselves but that is only because they are too weak to hurt anyone else. So you know that Mahatma Gandhi was basically a good man, privileged, yes, but good too, and so was Subhash Chandra Bose not because he hurt himself like Gandhi but because he was ready to do anything for his people, even collaboration with Hitler. Hitler is a particular enigma for me, because he is portrayed as one of the most evil people to ever exist and yet I know individuals more evil than him in my personal life, just not with as much power as him and this makes me sure that individuals more evil and with as much or more power than Hitler exist. I mean Winston Churchill was as bad to India as Hitler was to Jews and yet no one hates him and there are countless other world leaders and dictators in history who have murdered more people than Hitler. Once you think about this, you realise it's all about who has the power to write the news and the history. In my thirty five years of life I have realised that inventing or discovering something is not the big deal, having the freedom to invent or discover something is. I have also realised other than survival being happy and having fun in life is what matters the most. When even the ability to do hard work becomes a privilege and jobs are used as baits, sitting under a tree and playing Uno with friends while trying to earn through less respectable (and I don't mean criminal or unethical) isn't wrong at all. AIIMSs and IITs have run their course and eventually everyone would realise that those who have reached in elite institutes in India and in foreign countries have not reached their "only" through their hardwork. This shouldn't have been the case, but someone in the establishment of this country fucked up real bad and now shit is out in the open and is an all you can eat buffet.