Write Concepts #25

People have the things that they turn to for recreation. For me those things are stories whether they be in form of  short stories, novels or comic books and graphic novels. I'm not much into movies anymore except comic book movies and only watch movies when I'm bored or they are really big movies like Nolan's Odyssey or Spielberg's Disclosure Day and I'm especially not into Bollywood movies of the present times. It's been a long time I have read a good modern short stories, last I read good short stories was the short story collection The Baum Plan for Financial Independence by John Kessel and there is not much happening in the comic book scene in India. I'm a fan of old American and British short story writers and of people in comic books like Alan Moore and Frank Miller and there are many more in the comic book scene. When I was in my late teens and early twenties I wanted to be a writer, mostly a fiction writer though I wrote blogs for practice and read voraciously both online and offline to have raw material for writing. In the big 2020s writing became redundant and I still write, a lot of political nonfiction about deep politics of India, some surrealistic prose and prose poetry and when the writing block allows some flash fiction and short stories, I don't have the bandwidth for writing a novel or even novella. Reading and writing are my recreation but it's hard to find good literature now-a-days and especially the kind of literature I like, literary quality pulp fiction. Top three writers I love are Kafka, Conan Doyle and Lovecraft while my role model has always been Chekhov because he was a physician-writer and so a lot of my writing is stream of consciousness. My kind of good stories are rare and I say this because I'm not interested in stories about social relationships, I'm interested in the atmosphere, the cosmic and either extremes both good and bad or warmth and I especially appreciate the artists who portray extremes with warmth. I'm working on a novella at present and it might turn into a 70000 to 80000 words novel, it is a magical realism psychological thriller and it is going at a slow pace because I want it to be just right. In my opinion good writing entertains, educates and either provides warmth or tells truth and I hope to achieve this ideal with my writing.

Write Concepts #24

It was 2011, and I was writing the concept of the first novel that I wanted to write. I find it funny that in about a decade the politics of this country changed so much that the story of my novel has become redundant. I still might end up writing it just for kicks but at present I'm working on a sort of magical realism novel and it is a hard work because given the political times of today I don't have the cognitive resources to be able to write that novel. Due to social media, the reality is too on the face and satellites have mapped every inch of the earth so suspension of belief is a harder thing to do and a group of people hunting relics throughout the country and world and with the political realisations that I have had in the past decade just doesn't sit well though I would try to make it work just for personal pleasure. In late 2000s Shekhar Kapoor has launched a bunch of comics through Virgin Comics and I really liked the world building that was present in those comics. It's unfortunate that that India simply doesn't exist anymore. The mythic vibe has been thoroughly lost in the past decade and has been replaced by a feudal vibe. I think I have written enough on politics and as a law abiding and aware citizen I have done my part and now I can focus on what I really want to do, that is fiction. I might end up writing a bit here and there about the socio-politics of this country but I think once I exhaust what I have already written it is going to be minimal. Culture of our country, as I ended up realising through my own village, has been thoroughly destroyed and there is no bringing it back. The ones ruling people in this country, as I ended up realising, do not have the capacity of building a culture from scratch and in the past decade they have managed to destroy what was there since centuries. What remains is myth, and although AI can write myth and Indian myth at that it has a type and I have tested the kind of myth that it can write. I have seen good times for literature and I have read good children's literature in my childhood and also good comics. I would try to incorporate that into the fiction that I write. I realise that it is redundant in the political times we live in, but since I wanted to do it since my teens I would rather do it as it is one of the few sources of pleasure that I have. There are a bunch of ideas, like a noir espionage mythological thriller and that would require work, but first I would finish the magical realism story that I am currently working on. 

Write Concepts #17

There was a time I wanted to be a part of a creative collective like a musical band or a filmmaking crew, but as life unfolded in front of me I realised that I am better off writing alone because I saw rock bands breaking, movie makers having internal spats and later I realised that a lot (and not all) of these things happening are political in origin and have their reasons in deep politics of this country. As an independent writer I can write whatever the fuck I want and since I have seen that persecution and oppression don't need any reasons in this country and if there is any reason it could be as simple as someone in power not liking your face, I experienced a kind of freedom that most non-delusional NPCs do not feel. It didn't all have to be about money but it actually is and the common man cannot do anything about it except trying to earn enough to get him by everyday. I was watching someone play guitar on the internet today and I remembered when I used to play guitar and how I wanted to learn to play Hindustani classical on spanish and electric guitar and I had enrolled myself in classes twice but then life is hectic. I was inspired by Baiju Dharmajan, who plays Carnatic music on electric guitar of whom I have been a long time fan and I wanted to do the same with Hindustani classical. I was thinking how I could have utilised my creativity had I known to write music, but then I realised that even though I can't write music, I know to write words and I can explore musicality with words. I can still create, and create or at least try to create, good art with words. I can explore my musicality in poem, in the cadence of words and sentences. I write because I enjoy writing, and because I like to create; at present, since my attention span had deteriorated, I'm focusing on prose poetry and flash fiction and if my attention span improves I might work on the ideas of novels that are marinating in my drafts. 

Write Concepts #16

I realise that there is no point in fighting writer's block, you just got to write. Most writers suggest being consistent as the only cure of writer's block and that's what I do. I have started a new flash fiction project on Tumblr, and I have in my mind two series of stories that I would work on. At present I'm writing a novella and aiming for a word count of 30,000. Then there are novels for which I'm collecting inspirations and making plans. There is one more idea about which I don't know if it would be better as a series of stories or a novella. The flash fiction project is dear to me and I use flash fiction to warm up for longer works. The one thing that troubles me is that I haven't still been able to collect my writings and file them at their respective locations and post them on their respective blogs or websites. It's a thing that hinders the work of writing but this filing and posting is a kind of mechanical or clerical work and given the amount I have written since early 2010s it's not an easy job. I have the idea of my first novel, an adventure-fantasy set in the modern times, since mid to late 2011s and while the idea of it is totally fleshed out in my mind my perfectionism prevents it from getting expressed on paper. Also, my realisations about the political reality of this country and the world have forced me to rethink on how to handle the story and it's a time consuming process. Anyway I'm free because I'm not writing for commercial purposes and I have no intention of being a bonafide published author, I am writing for myself, writing something that I would like to read and only intend to write something that is good, something that I would enjoy reading. My perfectionism hinders my writing because my writing skill doesn't match my comprehension, there is a huge scope of improvement in my writing. I hope to file my writings by the end of this year so that only work that I'm left with is to write the things I want to write. As far as my blogs go, I think I have really deconstructed the deep political setup of this country and probably the world in my political writing and there is no much need anymore to write about politics and deep politics though I would keep writing about deep politics once in a while, or when I get insights, to make the good people aware of the exploitation and rape going on in this country. The main goals are to write something that makes people feel, entertain them makes them feel good, comforts them, provides them an escape hatch from reality and guards them against getting exploited and I hope to compress all these goals in my writing. 

Write Concepts #15

The focus should be on the end goal and not the trivialities, like I write on my mobile phone or my computer and these two are two different experiences. Writing on the mobile feels more intimate than on a computer where I have to type on the keyboard. I write by hand too and for a long time I had difficulty writing by hand but ultimately I got my flow though the issue is that if I write by hand I have to type it again on my computer so I just write my daily journal by hand and rest of my writing is done directly on my mobile or computer. The focus, again, should be on the end goal, that is writing what I actually want to write. I have ideas for two series of stories, two novels and two novellas which I work on in my free time. I have no intent on commercial publishing of my writing so I would put them on my blogs, Wattpad and maybe on Kindle. It’s mostly about creating something that I myself would like to read, which in today’s political scenario is getting increasingly difficult to find in India. It’s also about creating something good. I suffer with writing blocks and have less psychological capital than that is required to actually write what I want to write but I do work when I feel good and I think little by little things would get in place. Imagining is hard work in the current political climate and fiction or fantasy can’t really be written without imagination. It’s been quite a while since I have experienced the flow for fiction but as many writers say, it’s less about flow and more about consistency. It’s generally hard to write fiction in today’s time because very few read it, and people have short attention spans but then I’m only writing for myself and if someone reads it it’s good otherwise my writing is for the sheer joy of writing and creating. I have my favourite writers, like Chekhov, Lovecraft, J.K. Rowling and quite a few others. I like the writing style of Neil Gaiman and even though he got in a sexual scandal, one's got to separate the artist from his personal life and knowing that worse individuals than him have access to people’s lives makes separating Neil Gaiman’s writing from his personal life easy. It’s the similar case with Lovecraft who has been declared a racist and I know from his writing that he is not really a racist deep down and he was from a time when writers actually wrote what they believed in. I want to explore some aesthetics and the chief ones among them are 90s comic books and children’s magazines aesthetics, Indian folklore and Hindi literary aesthetics In English. I have some genres I would like to work in like noir, science fiction, Indian mytho-fantasy and even though I won’t really write transgressive fiction I would like to keep elements of transgressive fiction in my works. I want to explore all genres and kind of want to experiment with mixing genres too. You can call it masala if you want. The main goals at present however is to file my writing that I have done in their respective locations and on blogs, be consistent with writing on my blogs and work on the story series, novellas and novels that are marinating in my mind. I have worked on some flash fiction projects on my Tumblr and I think flash fiction projects are great for making use of short creative bursts though creative bursts are getting increasingly rare at present, though as many writers say it’s more about consistency than about getting the flow.

Write Concepts #14

I have a lot of work as far as writing is concerned. Genuine inspirations are hard to come by so I stick to inspirations I had in my early youth and expand on them. Late youth anyway got spent on dealing with useless political designs and conspiracies. I'm glad that I have enough inspirations for at least three novels, a bunch of novellas and serialised fiction and I keep writing short fiction and flash fiction when inspiration strikes. It's hard work, writing. But I finally know the reason why. I now know the reason for writer's block and it's not easy to handle but I do and I try my best for one blogpost a day. I'm arranging my writings and it seems to be taking more time than I had thought it would take but I hope to arrange and file my writings at their respective locations by the end of this year. A writer builds worlds, and I realised that when he can't do it he deconstructs them. I'm glad that I have had a solid lore because it would find a place in my writing. Writing needs commitment it's a big deal being judged by people and by posterity from what you have written and it needs an unbothered resolve of writing one's personal truth and what one perceives to be the truth of the world. I have had alteregos. A Lonewolf, a punk, an existentialist and quite a few others, the writer in me unites all of these alteregos and guides them to do their part which is creating, truth seeking and exploring and as far as the readers go educating, entertaining, making them feel a range of feelings and emotions and comforting them. I'm not the kind of guy who deals in tangibles except when it's the question of survival but if you have to write stuff you have got to deal with tangibles. You want to write a short story, you have to do it within a word count, same goes for a novella or novel. I, to be honest, have never really counted words. I just write the story and stop when it finishes but then again I have to deal with tangibles to provide a structure to what I write. As a writer I like being messy, I like being all over the place and I think that's my rebellion from the posers who call themselves writers but are dishonest and only package and sell the suffering of others in the name of writing. I package my suffering and my observations, inspirations and experiences. I have seen how writing works in this country and so none of what I write would be commercial, it would be free or at most self-published. I have a lot of things to do as far as my writings are concerned, and I have zeroed in on the genres I want to write and experiment with. Since genuine inspirations are hard to come by anymore I would fall back on the inspirations of my early youth. I hate pimping my life in my art and in general but sometimes I give snippets of my life in my writing for context and I think I would continue with that. There are bunch of projects I'm working on and this year is going to be a busy one. 

Write Concepts #13

A writer can talk to himself or an audience, the voice needs to address someone, mostly. But sometimes the writer is just writing down the thoughts in his head. I use all these methods for writing and more. The audience for my writing is mostly good people. People who want to live in peace, earn through their hard work and have fun in their life. When I think of writing I think of these people and how to make them feel, make them feel good, give them pleasure, entertain them, make them feel warm, educate them and give them tools to prevent them from getting exploited. I want to give them truth too but truth is a double edged sword and I only write it when I think it is extremely important though whatever I write is truth and also my truth. Someone has to go inside hell to send the message out about how it is from inside. As far as my interest in writing goes, my interest in writing lies in writing like American and European writers who used to write in pulp and literary magazines in the 20th century. A bit back in time and it becomes too archaic and a bit forward in time and it becomes too fake. I think the 20th century and that time period of a hundred years allow a lot of original writing to take place. Also, it is not a rule written in stone, if I find something interesting or authentic of course I would make use of it in my writing. I have my favourites and inspirations, like Conan Doyle, Chekhov, Kafka, Lovecraft, Premchand, Orwell and quite a few others. One can only dream that one can write something as atmospheric as Bram Stoker’s Dracula. In modern times J K Rowling has been an inspiration. I like the literary quality of Neil Gaiman’s writing too though I don’t like his stories. I was lucky to consume a lot of literature in my childhood. It was a great experience and back then literature and magazines were aplenty in the market. Railway stations used to have A. H. Wheeler stalls where one could get magazines and comic books. I write a lot about deep politics these days but that’s not what I want to do. I write about it so that people become aware at least and even though getting saved is not an option it’s akin to getting the diagnosis of one’s disease and it can tremendously reduce suffering in life. I kind of want to write good fiction even though I know it is redundant because I know that good fiction can transport people into a different world. It is sort of a teleportation device, a portal or a wormhole and I want to keep writing non-fiction to equip good people against exploitation. 

Write Concepts #12

Having a blog in 2025? That's outdated and yet I persist. I like people who still like to read. There is no good writing anymore and so one has to rely on the books of 20th century but they are good enough and above all they are classy. I had never thought reading and writing would be a form of rebellion but then realized that poets and poetry were suppressed in India in the British era. I'm no rebel but then one's gotta oppose shit that is criminal though one has reached a stage where everything other than food, clothing and shelter is make-believe and specially things like morals and laws. In this country it's like this: that you just have to pretend to believe in laws and morals and individuals who actually believe in them are at disadvantage. The truth, like it is said in Geeta, you are just an instrument, here in the political sense too because your fate is pre-decided and if not it would be decided in real time by the kind of individuals you'd not like to be even hundred kilometers near. I have seen a level of retardation that I didn't think was possible and this country actually surprised me and not in a good way to be sure. The most fun part of it all was that all of this was in a country that has a treasure of philosophies and philosophical systems that could have been built upon. I wanted to write a novel in 2010 and by the late 2010s I realised that it is redundant and useless. In this country only depressive novels like The White Tiger and Sacred Games written by well connected privileged circlejerkers work and it has no place for good fantasy stuff. Unfortunately the depressed shit written by the privileged for the privileged is actually truth of our society which interestingly is consumed by individuals who don't know what suffering is or worse are directly involved in the propagation and maintenance of suffering of the people. I love comics, but my hope for good homegrown comics has diminished so much that it is almost negligible and anyway the truth I have seen about this country and its society things like comics and even movies stop to matter. I still write though, my experiences in my blogs so that people can learn from them and make right decisions, well, as much as it is possible in the deeper political setting of this country, and I write fiction to have the pleasure of creation. To put it simply I write because I enjoy writing. I hope to write the novels I have in my head though not commercially, and I hope to keep creating as a writer in form of short stories, flash fiction and vignettes. Like I said everything except food, clothing and shelter is make-believe at this point and those who have not woken up to this truth are up for a tough ride ahead.

Short and Sweet

I like reading short stories and I kind of prefer them over novels, unless the novel is really, really good. One of my most favourite short story collections is Baum Plan for Financial Independence by John Kessel, I was in third or fourth year of college and it kind of vibed with me, my personal style and preferences but above all the actual truth of the world. I mean I liked what I read back then and haven’t read it again, but the experience stays, and it is among the few reading experiences that I remember like when I read Harry Potter as a kid or when I read Tolstoy. Short stories are underrated and not everyone can do justice to them though I’m glad that I grew up in an era when there were a lot of authentic short stories, written directly from the hearts of people. During college I read a lot of Kafka’s short stories, and I liked the vibe, I was already in depression so the depressive atmosphere of Kafka’s work and the truth in it felt sweet to me, and it felt like “at least someone knows the truth”.  Even Sherlock Holmes is mostly short stories. I kind of started writing short fiction around 2010 and still write a bit here and there when I get the inspiration and even though my language skills weren’t great, they still aren’t, I kind of like what I wrote for a guy in his late teens and early twenties. It’s all redundant now though. Short stories like any other story don’t matter anymore after the world got connected and changed and some would argue, for the worse. But I still read stories short or long because they are an experience. Reading short stories or even novels is an experience and this is what protects them from becoming irrelevant. You read Lovecraft and the feel the grand mythic nature of his stories and their warm nihilism. This is the very reason I never totally gave up on writing short stories, and even now every now and then end up writing a flash fiction. After getting exposed to and bearing the brunt of the reality of this country, I promised myself that my writing will do either of two tell the truth or make people feel and preferably do both. I’m more of warm writing that comforts kind of a person but then I lean towards the transgressive too, so I sometimes experiment with mixing warmth and transgression. Reading is one of the ways you can explore the world without travelling and explore the minds of people. I hope people who have kids now are buying them comics.

Cleopatra

She sits in front of me. My nostrils get a whiff of her perfume. I don't wear perfumes or deodorants, I am tolerant of other people's body odours and I keep my distance from people so that they don't have to tolerate mine. I let my kind of women find me, as they say those who are genetically compatible to you find your body odour attractive, though one should make it a point to not let their body odour turn into an abomination that makes people retch. Her scent was attractive, no doubts about that and her body odour mixed with the scent of her perfume was doing things to me. Attraction is such a thing, you never know who ends up attracting you. Last time it was that cute idealistic ground reporter who deals with morbid things like rape. I came to know about her, wanted to know more about her and she kept on getting more and more attractive for me. The task at hand was not getting pulled by this babe who was wearing a kind of perfume that had the capacity to attract me, of course mixed with her body odour that was making my chromosomes jump around in the nucleus of my cells. I felt like I wanted to procreate with her. I have known a few women and I have known their souls. This was different, I didn't know anything about her except her body's smell and her choice in perfumes. I try to calm myself. I start actively thinking about the idealistic reporter I liked so much. I'm somehow sure that she would have smelled good too had I known her. Could the reverse be true too? Could this perfume wearing, what they call now a days, baddie, be my kind of a woman? That's a topic for research. Would have to check PubMed after reaching home to see if someone has already explored it. I haven't got to see her face, but at this point I'm not afraid of getting disappointed. My nostrils and through them my brain and the rest of my body have already declared their verdict. All my theories about being sapiosexual and soulmate finder are at stake here. Maybe things actually are primal. My brain at this point has stopped braining, it just feels that I want her to sit on my face. Sitting on the face denotes power dynamic and I don't even know her enough to deduce the political and financial power differences, I just want her ivory ass on my fucking face. Maybe genetic superiority is really a thing. I reject it though. I will always reject it. I get up and walk in front of the bus without giving her a look. I don't want to see her face. I get down from the bus. Life can't be this simple, I can't let it be this simple. 

Write Concepts #11

I started writing just as I got into college. I had my favourite genres back then and one of them was noir. Slowly I started getting exposed to transgressive fiction, and the writers who wrote it, like Bret Easton Ellis and Chuck Palahniuk. My goal was to weave, along with other genres, stories from margins and underground of the society, though after truly getting exposed to the society and the way it functions I ultimately realise that the things happening in the margins and underground of the society is actually the normal and standard setting and people are kept unaware of it through individualised and custom tailored bubbles of reality. My writing is a mix of all the genres I like. I have written poetry for quite some time so I do have metaphorical approach to writing, and even though I don't intend to shock people the very approach used in transgressive fiction might elicit a shocking response. I have seen shit and I use it to write transgressive stuff, unfortunately it may or may not be fiction. The reality, as I realised, is in itself transgressive, and it's just our bubbles that are saving our sanity. If I was not a physician, I would have gotten crayed by seeing what I saw, but then in the end it was beneficial for my writing. I think I have written a lot of truth and writing more than this, unless I feel really compelled to write it, would come in the domain of whining. While whining was not my intent at all and it was mostly documenting the truth of this shithole of a country as I saw it, I think I have written enough of the truth, and I must retreat in the domain of fiction, and in the realm of culture and aesthetics and try to preserve what I deem worth preserving. It's not easy. I lack the skills to exactly preserve what I want to preserve in English language, or it might be that it is the limitation of the language, but the least I can do is try. There are domains I specialise in, philosophy, psychology and some cultures, and although I would like to see myself mastering fiction and aesthetics and even poetry, the truth is that I'm not very skilled at any of these, though I like working in these domains and even if I'm not a great poet, there is truth in my poetry and I think it suffices for now. So, the focus shifts on culture, aesthetics and fiction and sometimes, on science, philosophy and psychology. I might get political every now and then but only when I really have something to say. Grammar has been an issue since always but I'm determined to get better, and my personal style at present is a potpourri of genres I like but I would like to be better at taking individual genres or styles and writing in them. 

Write Concepts #10

 There was a time stories used to matter to me. They kind of still matter, but realization of the setup of the world have made them kind of redundant. I like reading comic books and watching superhero movies, I like following American professional wrestling and I like nature, wildlife and science documentaries. I do that because in my opinion these are the only authentic sources of entertainment left. I wanted to write novels, and that I would probably still do but not commercially and only as a personal project. I look back at my life and realise that I wanted to be a comic book writer. It is a profession frowned upon in the sociocultural setting of India but it is an authentic job, and since I know the truth of this country, I would say more authentic than the military. I have quite a few personal writing projects in pipeline and hopefully, if my ability allows, I would be able to finish them and post them on internet platforms for those who like to read. There are very few authentic blogs and websites left and one of them is The Marginalian by Maria Popova, you can give it a try. I like escaping into literature, but authentic literature is scarce. The 90s and late 2000s and early 2010s were a good time for Indian comic books but that time has ended, though one can always turn to American comic books. I have seen the time of authentic Indian literature and in a personal capacity I would try to keep that tradition alive. This is why I have blogs and this is why I write. A writer, like all human beings adapts, and I think that’s what I have done as a human being, I have adapted as I realized the truth of this country and the world. There are a lot of vibes and truths that I would like to explore and it would take some time before I get the hang of the exact things that I want to explore. The totalitarianism is hilarious but the issue is that it can be customized and it is not necessary that everybody feels it, but the evidences are everywhere and the intelligent mind can derive its inferences after seeing what is going on in the society and the world. My current goal is writing at least one piece of writing daily and at the moment I’m compiling and arranging all that I have written at their respective locations and once I do that, I would be free to write new things. 

The Day Circus

I like writing fiction but the actual question that bothers me is, what’s the point? I read very often and I tried to search the most aesthetic and sensory books and one of the recommendations was The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern. I just couldn’t read it, it felt bland to me. I realise that since so many have positively commented about the novel, the issue might not be with novel but me, that I have become so numb that I couldn’t really get the feelings that I had anticipated from the novel. Surprisingly enough, I read Dracula again recently and I was not only able to feel the tension in the novel but also imagine, as vividly as it is could be possible in the present political scenario of my region. I want to give The Night circus another try though. I have realised the literature is dead and has become redundant. I only write because I enjoy writing and I read because I enjoy reading. A recent development in my reading habits is that I can’t trust any writer beyond the 1950s. It feels to me that 1950s were the last days when authentic writing was present, and I really want to be so wrong but whatever I come across, makes me feel that this is true, a major exception to this are the comics and children’s magazines of the 90s in India and a few other exceptions, like the novel Memory Police by Yoko Ogawa, or The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri. I guess any writer who has been writing while deluded about the true reality of the world but is authentic to his or her experiences or imagination writes authentic literature, but that authentic literature stops to matter, even if they are their real experiences when one realises that we have been living in perpetual slavery since quite some time and writings of people are just expressions of their personal delusions. When the reality of absolute slavery and the boot of extreme totalitarianism is on your face, it becomes extremely hard to imagine and make-believe. My line of thought may seem extreme but I guess it has to do with my personal belief of taking the bottom-line as the true reality. I mean if you don’t even own your own body and mind, ideas of freedom and independence and self-expression are done for. All the books can do now is make you feel how you want to feel and it then becomes their sole purpose. I write because I like writing, but if my writing had to have a purpose it would be two-fold, exposing the people to truth and making them feel and looking at the state of the world of today, making them feel good and warm. The worst part of today’s reality is that totalitarianism and freedom can be customised, like I may live in extreme totalitarianism but another person might be enjoying complete or even excessive freedom, but the issue is that the freedom of the person living in complete freedom can be curtailed any day and the things that he did while he was free and which were normal when he was free could be used against him during the totalitarianism and this is what I meant when I said that I consider the bottom line to be the actual truth.

Write Concepts #9

For writing there needs to be an idea to be built upon. Aesthetic writing needs to appeal to the senses. Good writing must help the reader to visualise or even make them visualise. There is a lot of good writing from the 19th and 20th centuries that can be taken as example on how to make readers feel and visualise. I prefer warm writing that packs a punch when it has to. I have been working on a novel series called Ashtabhuj since early 2010s. I remember that I was collecting inspirations for it in 2015 and I do write it when I have time. In the late 2010s after becoming acquainted with the truth of the media and publishing industry of this country I gave up the idea of formal and commercial publishing of my books, but decided that I will keep writing just for the sheer pleasure of it and publish my books on my blogs, in a serialised fashion, and on Wattpad. I update my blog regularly, and recently my blogs have been a bit political, but actually I want to write about the things I love. Comic books, nature, space and universe, stories and their writers, philosophy, the life during the 90s and my interests and hobbies. I was working on my novels, the three novels that are in my head, one of them being Ashtabhuj, but I had to take a break from working on Ashtabhuj due to crippling writer’s block. I can definitely write but when what I write doesn’t really turn out to be what I want, what use it is. Ashtabhuj started as an idea for a novel and ended up as three novel series in my head. There are two other novels, one is a noir mythological fiction and another is a science fiction political thriller. Ashtabhuj is really not turning out to be what I wanted it to be so I’m just taking a break from it and hoping to be able to write better after the break. I guess I must start collecting inspirations for Ashtabhuj again and clear my head a little bit to be able to write better. There was one more idea that I had gotten but it was way too similar to the Doom franchise so I had to discard it. Though I can write it as a series for fun. The main goal is to get my vision on the paper and unless I’m not able to do it I’ll just keep writing and discarding, but writing nevertheless. My goal is to write a warm stories that appeal the senses of the readers and makes them visualise. I hope to infuse a bit of warmth in the noir stories too while keeping the noir feel intact. In the meanwhile I’ll use my tumblr to collect inspiration and do small writing projects.

Write Concepts #8

I guess I’m taking writing a bit seriously now, though it would only qualify as a serious hobby and nothing more. I’m trying hard to make time for my writing projects, the three novels in my head and the two series that I want to write. I manage to update at least one of my blogs regularly and in my books that is a win. If I can churn out one short story or a part of a novel chapter in a week that would be great and I really hope to do that, though it is not easy. I’m compiling and organizing all of my writings at relevant locations and it’s kind of a boring job but I know that it would be rewarding when I complete it. If we talk about writer’s block, I have been suffering with it since quite a long time but that hasn’t really stopped me from writing. I wish I had the imagination that I had in my childhood, it would have been tremendous and I finally realised the reason for lack of my imagination is political but then if I do not have imagination I can at least do my work through planning. It would have been great if my imagination wasn’t blocked but then it is so all I have to be able to write are my limited cognitive abilities and my heart, and I suppose having heart in your writing is important, at least majority of writers think so. It’s been a lot of politically charged writing these days from my end, but it is only because of demonic levels of political interference in my life and my realisation that all art is political because all existence is political even at the deepest decipherable level and only the people who are deeply aware can make out the political slavery that people are in in this country. I’m not interest in politics, and at any level, I wish to write fiction and philosophy and little bit of this and that but as I said, all existence is political, I’m going to have consequences for what I write and ironically by individuals who have no consequences for what they do to others, including rape, extortion, torture and murder. I used to like transgressive and noir and I retain elements of those genres in my writing but now I want to majorly do warm and cozy writing, throwing in transgressive and noir elements when the stories demand them. My writing style, that has been there since 2010 is evolving and I can see it evolving and it is only hindered by my cognitive deficits and writer’s block but I hope to get where I want to go.

Payment for ones sins should be there. But what if the sins are done without knowledge? Some people sin not because they will but because they are dragged into it or they are unaware that the sins do exist.

There is lot of beauty in the world, we just need to see it. Sometime the eyes can't see the beauty because of the internal darkness but that's not a matter.

I feel helpless because of my blocks. I hope that someone will salvage me from this situation, i can obviously feel my ego here but may be that's how things were meant to be.

Sometimes due to smallest of reasons we are left behind. Little reasons take monstrous shape.

Sometimes things have their own way of happening. I am a good person and God is with me, he has been with me all along and he led me to find hinself.

I have been severely sick. Why me? I kept on asking all this time but i never asked why they? Okay asked it a little but not enough.

On the topic of not acting i can only say that i couldn't do it, my memory has been a trouble all through out and it is the reason that created the trouble. I wish to get over the trouble.

14:00

N was a lonely boy. He dropped out of college but to complete it again he got into another one. There he was lonely because of no company of his kind. There were no company and no methods by which he could express his hyperactive mind so he resorted to social network.

On the network he became popular. Thinking that life on the network is seperated from life in real he invented stories for his pleasure and happiness of people.

There he met two girls and started talking to them without revealing his identity. He talked to them and later when a family crisis happened he suddenly disconnected with the people he was talking without giving information, without bothering how would they feel.

It was very insensitive of him, but he couldn't realize it. All the people who believed in him stopped believing because he was a liar. Lying was his sin.

The daily life and its chores. I wish to write on mindfulness and its effects. I have suffered greatly because of my disease and thus want to learn more about mindfulness and progressive relaxation.

These are the topics i wish to explore. Living in the moment doesn't cost much but sometimes we can't do it. I couldn't do it because of the entanglements of past.

Entanglement will not last much if we truly understand the things. My entanglement grew worse because of the grief caused by loss and FOMO.

I thought i missed out on things. In a deeper sense, i did miss out, but now i wish to make things better by trying to build the bridges i burnt.

I wish things to be good. I wish peace in the world. I wish everyone to be happy, and i wish serenity everywhere.

I want people to be happy. I want calmness all around. I want beautiful flowers, blue sky with white clouds. I want trees laden with fruits. I want things to be beautiful and serene.