Fruitfly in The Grid

What is there to talk about? One asks self this question. There are quite a few things like literature, science, philosophy, art, music, the nature, the universe, quite a few things. Then another question arrives, what remains to talk about when one's autonomy is sabotaged? Autonomy over one's self is the most basic freedom that is there and when that is not there nothing remains and that it can be sabotaged, makes everything else redundant. What remains then? Only survival. Air, water, and what is bought from money, food, clothing, shelter and the nature if it is available and not even the universe or space but only the night sky. Culture and society become redundant because they are made of people and so are left redundant the country and the world when the autonomy of the self erodes. Is there a way to salvage autonomy, kind of yes but not completely but the way technology is evolving soon it might not be salvaged at all. It would be like that episode of Black Mirror, USS Callister, where a guy is trapped in a digital universe a sort of infinity with no way to contact the outside world only that infinite universe would be one's own consciousness and there would be a feeling of constant suffocation of walls closing in despite being alone in the vast infinite space of one's own consciousness with no one in the picture. That brings us to brains grown in labs, and the kind of consciousness they experience, they can be connected to the game Doom and they can think of themselves as a Space Marine killing demons. The fruit flys brain mapped and put in a simulation thinks of itself as a real fruitfly and behaves like it. A human brain does the same just that the simulation is socio-political with religion and culture aiding it. Matrix was right in a lot of things but wrong in two, the machines are not literal machines but a machine of humans, an organic socio-political machine that farms (and farming is a wrong word because farming doesn't involve hatred or contempt) people for, unlike electricity as shown in The Matrix, for data and pleasure and the sadism involved is directly proportional to the differential in the power dynamic. What is there to talk about? Survival of course. Air, water and things that require money, like food, clothing and shelter and then come the nature, the night sky and literature, science, philosophy, art and music. There are no frontiers waiting in space for common people because the last frontier of human dignity, and majority doesn't know this, the autonomy, has been colonized. 

Grand Master Robo

I learnt it the hard way but ultimately ended up with absolute simplification of my life. Family, money, knowledge and hobbies and interests. Being able to simplify your life is a privilege. Imagine you are lower class, you simplify your life mostly because you have no other choice to family and money, knowledge and education evades you and you are too hand to mouth to have hobbies and interests, the story then doesn't end at simplification of life because you earn money and the local policeman asks for his cut and then arrives the local extortion gang with time you realise that the policeman and the extortion gang are part of the same syndicate. In the 90s education was an escape from misery, now it isn't, now it is dependent on the whims of the syndicate and can be based on any attribute of yours and is not dependent on your hardwork and skills, the main attribute can end up being your caste or your looks. You read philosophers, you read literature but philosophy and literature is not going to fill the stomach of your family and you realise that not only the syndicate exercises hegemony on the means to fill the stomachs of your family, not only it is hoarding all the beauty for itself but it is also deleting beauty from the lives of people to make them dispossessed. With time you realise that you are living in a country of orphans, political, spiritual orphans and all the relationships you think you have are just in your mind because they can be deleted by the syndicate at will. Survival here depends on where you put your energy, you earn money, get extorted and come home and beat your wife and children that's option one, you earn money get extorted and realise that the rickshawala's son becoming an IAS is a lie, a prop, it's not even an exception, it's actually a prop and so you come home kiss your wife, switch on the desert cooler, open the old trunk in which you have kept old comics from the times when Indian railway bogies, used to turn into communities except of ofcourse the ones who poisoned people and took their belongings, and you read those comics to your little children and show them the images in the comics. You also tell them this is where the attention should be, in being superheroes, not for society, not for the nation, because they don't exist but for the family. There is no Fauladi Singh or Super Commando Dhruv coming to save the day you have to become your own Fauladi Singh to take the pain and your own Super Commando Dhruv to go through the Hell Week every week until you die.

Beastistaan

Environment plays an important role, the physical environment, the social environment, the political environment. You have a lot of knowledge but if the environment doesn't give a shit about knowledge all the knowledge is useless. People with skills become superfluous like graphic artists in the age of AI. I used to think that art done manually has a soul, but in a setting where no one gives a shit about soul it doesn't really matter. I used to think that it is about money and comfort while a lot it is actually is, of course at the expense of others but what I ended up seeing that when the power dynamic becomes absolute which in the world we live in it has become it all becomes about sadistic pleasure derived from the suffering of other, feeding off the misery of other's soul and I wouldn't have believed it a decade ago. It could be taken as a defence mechanism of the ones who employ individuals who feed off the misery of the souls of others and in a very twisted way it can be taken as loving your job. Imagine your job is torturing people then why not enjoy the suffering of people, why not feed off the misery of their souls. The German word for this mechanism is schadenfreude and this country in its own pathetic way masters this art. This is absolute optimisation I don't lose anything and gain everything and you lose everything and end up for infinity in hell. I use the word infinity because the suffering never ends and it keeps increasing with time, what becomes better is your ability to take it, endure it and your understanding of it. Here is a thought experiment: you live in the US but your life is controlled by village rapists of your ancestral village, don't ask how and why, through bluetooth, wifi, magic or something else, and these village rapists are the same who search for excuses to rape people when they like it. They are in the mood to rape and they see a woman filling water in her pots from a well and they make an issue with it and gather people and the panchayat which consists of rapists like him decides that the woman should be legally raped for her crime of filling water from the well and water we all know is second most necessary thing after air. Imagine you are in US and these village rapists still exercise control over you, magic, wifi, bluetooth, it doesn't matter, they are jealous that you are in US, they believe that a person with the kind of face you have doesn't deserve to go to US while they do despite not doing anything that would let them have this opportunity. Well, we live in this kind of a country. Your skills are superfluous, what matters is your face and that's how a fat or ugly, unless she is delusional, knows how the world works unfortunately for this country that is no guarantee that it would save her from getting raped, and the way this country is not only she will get raped she will undergo even more cruelty for the crime of being ugly.

Chhammak Chhallo

In the last decade I have seen what actually rules this nation and it is demonic beyond your wildest dreams there is no God in the picture except in your faith and unfortunately this infinite evil is also pathetic. I ended up realising how inferior individuals can cross all thresholds of evil for spare change and that made me rethink my position about the lower class of this nation. The informal intelligence, if we can call it that, setup of this nation derives from criminals among the lower classes. I realised that only thing that kept the lower classes human despite consistent exploitation was the culture and that has been systematically destroyed and replaced by a hyperreality that looks like culture but is devoid of the actual cultural substance. This is not a BJP issue though it accelerated it. Those who are acquainted with Delhi press, the publication behind magazines like Grihshobha and Sarita also published a lewd magazine called Saras Salil for blue collared men. Corruption of lower classes has been the agenda of the deep state of this country since forever and who bears the brunt of this corruption in the lower classes? The women. It is them who are coerced and raped. I, like Indians thought all of this sporadic but it is in the past decade I ended up realising that it is Indian deep state policy especially in North India, I do not know about South India. Manohar Kahaniya, again by Delhi Press is still published today, and this kind of shit is for people who can assimilate it. The Gen Z calls masturbation gooning and it has assimilated it, they watch pornography but they don't rape women. The same can't be said about the lower class people who do not have the psychological and educational resources to assimilate the data that is being fed to them. I said that because state of lower class women is terrible and I in the past decade ended up realising that this shit is centralised and a deep state policy in fact the so called guardians of the poor people are criminal rapists selected from their own ilk and unfortunately the same applies to the middle class too. Rape is not sporadic, it is the symptom of being ruled by rapists who employ rapists and I ended up realising that nothing is sacred in this country. I laugh at American memes for their irreverence but they did not promise their people the sacred. The bafflement for me arrived in the past decade when I realised that in this country even sacred is not sacred and it hides it so exceptionally well that even if the country is in fire one wouldn't be able to believe it. We live in rape nation and the most baffling thing was when I realised the cemented nature of this arrangement in Varanasi, a place I considered to be the spiritual capital of this nation. These motherfuckers are just selling vibes in that place while exploiting and raping people. I'm just thankful to BJP that I ended up knowing the truth so that I can focus on better thing in life. Remember rape is centralised in this country, it is the deep state policy and whether toh end up seeing the external manifestation of it in the society or not these motherfuckers are so habituated of it by now that it is not going to change. The country that we read of in Chandamama, the Puranas, the Vedas, has collapsed and since long. What remains is fake vibes that delude people.

Sacred Games Season 2

I became a physician and then I wanted to get an MD in Psychiatry but then I chose Medical Physiology but later switched to Hospital Administration though through my practice I anyway ended up specialising in the mind. You deal with the mind and tell people methods to cope with the daily stressors. When I was studying Medical Physiology I wanted to specialise in psychosomatology, though during that time I had my experiences with the deep politics of this nation. Keeping mentally healthy is not the same for everyone because everyone is different and everyone has had different life experiences and if at all psychological or emotional traumas. There is something that I call trauma milestones and memory milestones. Memory milestones are specific memories that one remembers from their past and trauma milestones if at all traumas are multiple or trauma milestone if it is singular deals with the trauma or traumas. Sustained trauma can cause PTSD. The first step to overcoming a trauma is acknowledging it. In a country with zero dignity like India it is better to take things as it is if you are mature and not a child, like if you have got sexually molested as a child you have to accept it as it is if you are a male it would be better to accept that you got fucked in the ass, there is no need to soften it. Deep politics of India functions by stigmatising the victim so one has to be prepared for it and prepared to live with it. I got exposed to deep politics of this country in the early 2010s and I realised that it is a setup of not only sexual and financial predation but also psychological and spiritual predation. The political environment of this country has changed a lot and empathy for the most part has eroded from the masses though specific batches of Gen Z do inspire hope. By late 2010s I realised that we essentially live in a country of performative morality and religious institutions of this country have betrayed the very people of this ancient land. For the psychological and spiritual predation part, although one has to remember that fates of majority in this country are already sealed, one has to realise that if spirituality was in fact real in this country it wouldn't have been the case. The internal religion governing families deals with dogma like not eating non-veg on tuesdays and donating a golden cat to a Brahmin if you kill a cat by mistake however the political Hinduism that has grown since a decade since BJP came to power has been another dogmatic version which lacks aesthetic and syncretic pluralism and acceptance of Hinduism that assimilated traditions and made them its own has eroded and I had expected BJP to bring about Deendayal Upadhyayas integral humanism. It is in the late 2010s I realised that it is not a BJP vs Congress problem at its base, the real structure is permanent and is feudal-corporate in nature, the changes that happen are cosmetic which again have real impact on the lives of common people but are cosmetic for the ones who live in the high castles. People are essentially ruled by genocidal rapists. It is a multi-level setup that means that the godman and mafia in your small town report to the higher bosses, the high castle I talked about. Hinduism of actual faith has collapsed. I ended up turning a political atheist but I retained my personal faith. The problem at present is psychological and spiritual predation in this country and I don't know about other faiths but if you are a Hindu, you can use the method that I used to preserve my personal faith. I believe in Mother Goddesses, and the most important archetype for self-preservation in this country in present political times is Saraswati. You have to bypass your knowledge that you gain through any source through her before assimilating it and you have to know that she is the goddess of knowledge so she has all the knowledge in the world including that of atrocities and is still calm, reach other Gods through her if might seem esoteric because it is. Along with Saraswati you can choose another deity of your choice. The ones who managed faith in this country have betrayed the people and there is nothing that can be done about it. Political persecution is invisible and whimsical and it is faith that gives strength. The life goes on normally in this country but if you really want to know if things are normal you have to see on social media, and even an idiot can know that things are not normal. There is one very important thing in present times you have to realise that your consciousness is not your self and you have to learn to differentiate between the two. Once you can do it comfortably things would become calm. Also, prioritize things that matter to you. 

Icarus in Faustus's Anus

I have been lucky enough to survey this country from top to bottom and there if there is one thing that I ended up learning about this country that is nothing is sacred. The generation of genuinely pious people as I remember the old women from my village and when from when I was in Varanasi, old teerthyatris from Maharashtra is going to end soon. And the sacredness of things is won't end because their generations would end with time it would end because the sacred in this country is illusion. I held some things sacred, not exactly related to God but, things like promises, constitution, faith in justice and faith itself and things will soon become such that even on an individual level keeping these things sacred would become impossible. I have looked into abyss, and I was prepared for the abyss to look back and I had a consolation that I was not looking at the abyss by my own volition, what looked back however is a rancid amalgamation of incompetence and entitlement that inflicts infinite suffering on people's souls. I don't know if it is genius of this country that it doesn't even give people the satisfaction of being humiliated by competence. Competent evil at least respects its victims, incompetence doesn't do so and I ultimately realise that competence in this country is not worthy of respect because it is ultimately thievery and is a result of handicaps of the others. It is one of the methods of this country, breaking people's legs and then humiliating for either not participating in the race or if they are participating then humiliating them for losing. I would have never imagined that I would see incompetence having arrogance but I saw it and I realised that game of this country as we knew it in the 90s is over. I have looked absolute evil in the eyes, and while looking at individuals like Jeffery Epstein wouldn't have generated sympathy in me these motherfuckers despite being infinitely worse than Jeffery Epstein, and that's really saying something, generate only pathos and sympathy in my heart. That's the thing with predation of the dispossessed, helpless and the innocent, you can cross all possible threshold of infinite evil and yet you wouldn't achieve notoriety enough to be compared to Jeffery Epstein or even Hitler, though as far as Hitler goes, those who have read Mein Kampf know that however evil he might be he was at least an idealistic man and had purpose, the kind of predation that I have seen is purposeless just sadism for deriving pleasure from pain, misery and helplessness of people. The infinite suffering glitch goes on for the majority and it has a source and we all know what that source is if we eliminate God from the equation.

Carrot Sandwich

Real meritocracy in this country, as I end up realising, stopped post the liberalisation of economy in the 90s and although one can't have sweeping generalisations like this as there still are plenty of meritorious people in the system what this country is going through at present is exactly what happens when a country is ruled by people who haven't achieved what they have through hardwork and struggle. Satyajit Ray made his short film Two in 1960s and if you watch it you realise exactly what is happening in this country, in the past decade I realised that the main issue in this country is jealousy, the ones who have everything and who drink Coke and watch American shows are jealous of the little joys of common people and their jealousy expresses in the lives of common people as fate. The British needed subordinates who are jealous of people but the system of employing the jealous by the jealous left behind by the British continued and hence the divide and rule still persisting and expressing itself as Devtas getting angry on generation of people when it is actually Coke drinking burger munching motherfuckers. Numerous family cultures have destroyed since the early 2000s. It's alchemy, jealous motherfuckers destroying family cultures by exposing them to unrefined elements, individuals and otherwise and as soon as the older generation passes you get drones with dirt on them and no culture to derive strength from who can be manipulated at will. I was a guy who threw garbage in the dustbin, who wore a helmet while riding a bike, who had empathy and now I'm a sandwich and I'll tell you how a sandwich is made: it is made when a punctual guy realises that there is no use of being punctual and loses faith in being punctual, in his job as it has no real impact and in life and then biometric arrives and he is forced to be punctual to go to a job that he despises. This country is composed of sandwiches, walking, talking sandwiches and the ones who rule people think of themselves of as smart while making sandwiches of people and at the same time preventing people from eating a Subway with their own hard earned money. I know since quite a while that the indigenous religion of this country and the continued civilization has collapsed from within, what remains is the hyperreality which a lot of people still believe in and it is this belief that still keeps the indigenous religion, civilization and culture alive. CIA, SVR and ISI have succeeded and since quite a while now and so what remains for common people is to have fun and there is nothing else. Not everyone in this country given the locked family systems is lucky to have the choice of not continuing their generations and that's the biggest tragedy. The Japanese know what's up, they have subconsciously realised the slavery and are committing generational seppuku than feeding the machine however the machine needs drones and it will keep producing carrots of delusion and making sandwiches and ones trapped will have to keep dancing this dance. 

Teen Guna Lagaan

What remains after the self is colonised? Nothing actually except family and that too only if you are able to salvage enough autonomy. One has to be able to see and experience the impunity and lack of consequences of those who hold power to be totally free. All religious texts, all scriptures, all morality, all philosophy and all mythology ends here. One has to realise that the fates of most of people in the country we live in is real-time except the ones who have the hands of the criminal syndicate posing as the providence on their heads. What actually remains? Nature and universe through the night sky, knowledge and awareness and love and small joys if you can salvage them. Salvaging love and small joys is not easy. What I faced is the mechanism of forcing people to hate and then generalising hate. I'll explain how this mechanism works: if someone from the some caste has harmed you the deep structure forces you to generalise the hate on the whole caste group, it has multiple reasons first it propagates hate, second it prevents potential relationships and also does the job of isolating the individual. Predation by the deep state of this country thrives on isolation and it works by generating hate, suppose a food delivery app cheats you and you complain and it is then people's egos will be exploited to not make them order through that food delivery app but then what if there is only one food delivery app? And this can be applied on any company or corporation. The whole play is on population and divide and rule. The ones who perform activism for saving forests and trees have scarcity mindset, these motherfuckers have abundance mindset and the real resource of this abundance are people, people are the means to their end and end is sex, money, resources and power which when power is absolute turns into rape, exploitation, sadism and mindless impunity, manipulation of individuals and families and their lives, social engineering and experiments on people like eugenics. The major approach is manipulation of people's egos, pride, self-respect and survival instincts but the ultimate weapon is fear, fear of destruction of reputation, fear of one's or one's families lives. God is nowhere in picture because he never was. It is only inside people if they are able to find him beneath the noise of sociopolitics.

Meena's Eggs

The times we are living in necessitate absolute simplification of life. The most tragic thing that I realised thorough my encounter of the deep state of this nation, and it might sound crazy but it unfortunately isn’t, is what we feel might not be real or to be accurate our own feelings and sensations and this arrangement is present even backward regions such as Purvanchal, Bihar and Jharkhand. It makes my heart heavy to call Purvanchal backward but in the past decade I have gatherered enough evidence although this backwardness is just the backwardness of the mind of those who rule and those who inflict the suffering on the behalf of the ruling and less of the people and the culture. No culture is backward, cultures have their own rhythms which my beautiful culture once had and now it has turned into a mongrel hyperreality of performative community and solidarity while the real community and solidarity has eroded. With the community eroded I don’t feel the need to be overly social. I ended up doing absolute simplification of my life and it is applicable for anyone who want to survive this nation, family, money, job, hobbies and interests and nature and universe through night sky and if we are talking socially, transactional formal relationships because once shit hits the fan only this remains. I’m a good friend but friendship doesn’t stand a chance in this country, or as I have experienced, in Purvanchal or Uttar Pradesh. Friendship is a real thing, but it can be weaponised and its weaponisation is going to be way to costly because it is as close as the family and it can cause way more damage than an enemy. I still have a couple of friends but that’s only because they are childhood relationships and they vibe. Either we as Indians live in a shithole or it’s my case only for being born in Purvanchal in any case this setup can be generalised to whole of the nation. What is most important is to have education and constantly updating ones knowledge as the clandestine exploitation feeds on ignorance. Aware suffering is way better than ignorant suffering and it helps to know that these motherfuckers are essentially mafia taking cover of religion. I used to read about my region, although I never saw it in my own community, that kids are given salt and rice to eat in schools and girls are gatekept from nutritious food like eggs. In the past decade I ended up realising that all of it is intentional and centralised at least in my region. This motherfuckers are actual criminals and demons taking cover of religion when in actuality feudal lords, corporate masters, politicians and godmen call the shots. My culture has ended, the families and communities have been atomised and now when I see folk singers trying to revive the culture on instagram I feel immense pity for them because I have seen that my culture has been deleted from the roots by these evil motherfuckers. 

Cure for Nihilism

Nihilism, as one realises, is a response and it generally arrives after existentialism is exhausted. It is a response to politics that governs the lives of people. You would never see forest tribes being nihilistic and I'm not talking about Jharkhand tribes who are in direct contact of politics and religion but more of Sentinel Island kind of tribes. In 2013 I was in Patna and I was wrestling with nihilism, it was a not a full blown nihilism because I have been always a hopeful man except now after knowing the full scope of the political reality we live in. My nihilism was more of show-off kind because I still believed in the systems of the world not knowing that the nihilism that was growing in me was a response to systems of the world, a response to clandestine exploitation and oppression. What I blamed during that phase of faux nihilism was humanity, which is kind of true but not exactly, I was also a romantic and thought a woman would rescue me from my phase of smoking pack a day and it is later a men who want to be rescued by women realise that women can't rescue shit as they themselves are just piece of flesh and child bearing machines for the greater systems of the world, of course looking at women CEOs , entrepreneurs it won't look like that but that's majorly because it is a family based privilege system and I have come to realise that the demonesses of the world are worse than the demons of the world and they make the demons work for them, but the condition of majority of women is not more than slaves and sex slaves who aren't aware of the slavery. I don't subscribe to the phrase Brahminical Patriarchy because both the words Brahminical and Patriarchy have, at a personal level, a positive connotation for me, Brahminical because it has a connotation of religious and civilization order and continuity and patriarchy because it denotes father. What I would rather call the setup is "a gang of genocidal rapist criminals". My nihilism ended the day when I realised that it was a response to exploitation and oppression by political power and it is here I began experimenting with philosophies. You know what is the prescription for the modern existence? It's having as much fun as possible. I ended up inculcating a forest tribe mindset, and it was easy for me as I was always a community oriented guy rather than a domination guy.  

Galileo's Eureka!

Knowledge, if we see the consider political limits of our existence, can exhaust but experiences won't. Though if we consider vastness of the universe knowledge to is inexhaustible but universe is out of reach for people other than the capital except in form of the night sky and I got baffled after knowing that experience of universe even through the night sky and even access to experience of nature can be gatekept. This kind of gatekeeping is normal in India and people can be gatekept form their own experiences. Political enlightenment is realising how much of our experience is direct result of power and capital and for those whom the shit hits the fan it can become a hundred percent so much that it becomes impossible for them to salvage their authentic, natural selves from the sociopolitics in their bodies and minds. It was in 2013 that I became interested in esoteric after coming across a homeopath who was interested in esoteric on social media, then social networking. Though I later realised that whatever esoteric, magic, occult or supernatural or paranormal that exists it exists for capital, a common man doesn't, and increasingly so in the modern times, experience miracles. They get illness and if they do not have money they die. Technology is the only magic that is available to common people and it is paywalled, of course it is not free but, as I realised in the past decade, intrusive interference of the deep politics in the lives of people is totally free and it can shapeshift into God, providence, feudal kingdom, torture chamber, mafia exploitation or an intelligence apparatus and the best part is that if it doesn't have dirt in the lives of people to exploit, it first creates it. This is however going since the time of Jesus or even before that. Jesus preached love, healed the sick, and he was hanged on a cross and later co-opted. India since early 2010s has been in the mode of no good deed goes unpunished and it can only happen when the ones in control are inferior as well as criminal. There is no magic coming for the common man or woman, just the fear of hell for little things and exploitation based on it. Space now unlike the 90s is just another avenue for the modern Columbuses and East India Companies where they would take slaves to expand it into empire. There is nothing in space that George Lucas hasn't already told, Palpatine awaits. What remains is night sky, the fire and the ability to feel them if the politics of the land allows you.

AC 3 Tier

Scarcity turns people into beasts. I have no particular sympathy for the poor except the humane sympathy that everyone must possess but doesn't. What sustained poor of this land was culture, divorced from culture they are just beasts, which they are considered as by the ones having power, and fodder for slavery and indentured servitude. Yet they occupy a better position in society than the middle class which is entangled in relationships and can't roast green grams and potatoes in fire under the night sky. The poor weren't culturally homeless earlier but now they are because the culture has been dismantled by greed and yet at many places they are forced to carry a mongrel of old culture and culture that is a result of rampant clandestine exploitation on their heads while there was a time when culture was embodied. The past decade taught me that it is all economics, politics and technology. Technology is the new shastra that has to be gatekept and expecting people to have technolgical literacy when they don't have basic literacy is idiotic. It amuses me how needlessly convoluted and cumbersome government banking website and how smooth private bank websites are. Is it intentional? I do not know, but it is India so you never know and the fact that remains is that it is the poor who use government banks and their websites more. I entered my 30s and I understood the Indian railways design of the society, first class, second class, third class, sleeper class and general class. What troubled me is not that this is a tangible design of exclusion and gatekeeping, but that it is coupled with extractive exploitation and rent seeking and that this arrangement is at the psychological and metaphysical plane, a socio-politico-economic financial Islam of absolute surrender while your labour and your souls are harvested. It is here it becomes clear to define one's true politics and which in my case is nothing but only dignity, as the first move of what rules this land is blaming you of communism while my actual politics is ethical capitalism and social democracy which is very close to the idea of modern India. 

Write Concepts #25

People have the things that they turn to for recreation. For me those things are stories whether they be in form of  short stories, novels or comic books and graphic novels. I'm not much into movies anymore except comic book movies and only watch movies when I'm bored or they are really big movies like Nolan's Odyssey or Spielberg's Disclosure Day and I'm especially not into Bollywood movies of the present times. It's been a long time I have read a good modern short stories, last I read good short stories was the short story collection The Baum Plan for Financial Independence by John Kessel and there is not much happening in the comic book scene in India. I'm a fan of old American and British short story writers and of people in comic books like Alan Moore and Frank Miller and there are many more in the comic book scene. When I was in my late teens and early twenties I wanted to be a writer, mostly a fiction writer though I wrote blogs for practice and read voraciously both online and offline to have raw material for writing. In the big 2020s writing became redundant and I still write, a lot of political nonfiction about deep politics of India, some surrealistic prose and prose poetry and when the writing block allows some flash fiction and short stories, I don't have the bandwidth for writing a novel or even novella. Reading and writing are my recreation but it's hard to find good literature now-a-days and especially the kind of literature I like, literary quality pulp fiction. Top three writers I love are Kafka, Conan Doyle and Lovecraft while my role model has always been Chekhov because he was a physician-writer and so a lot of my writing is stream of consciousness. My kind of good stories are rare and I say this because I'm not interested in stories about social relationships, I'm interested in the atmosphere, the cosmic and either extremes both good and bad or warmth and I especially appreciate the artists who portray extremes with warmth. I'm working on a novella at present and it might turn into a 70000 to 80000 words novel, it is a magical realism psychological thriller and it is going at a slow pace because I want it to be just right. In my opinion good writing entertains, educates and either provides warmth or tells truth and I hope to achieve this ideal with my writing.

Anand Vihar

It's important to come to terms with your grief. One has to learn to accept the event that causes grief and with times your scars become your ornaments and if not you can choose to perform kintsugi on them filling them with gold. Grief matters little in a nation where the base reality is rape. The truth about majority of people living in this nation is that their hands blow off and they must keep moving and this is the design. Survival doesn't allow majority of the people in this nation the time to grieve and grief related hysterics are privileges. Though just keeping moving on after the event that causes grief has its downsides as it walks with you and so one must always acknowledge both the event and the grief and it helps the mind and the body to metabolise them. I have had my encounter and sustained with the deep administration of this nation, if at all it can be called administration as I personally do not count mindless social engineering whims based manipulation of individuals and families as administration, and I can tell you that it is an absolutely evil and cowardly arrangement and by absolutely I mean absolute absolute. I took me some time to realise that it's not God, they are the scattered feudal lords, seths, contractors, builders politicians, godmen, celebrities, industrialists, journalists, corporate masters and mafia kingpins. I say scattered because there are good ones too kept as decoys. The control however is not scattered it is an omniscient panopticon with employed criminals who deal with greed, lust and cruelty in infinity. So a family that has hand of this administration can enjoy full anarchic freedom but a family that doesn't would suffer dysfunction and micromanaged totalitarianism. Each week on social media there would be a goat that would be sacrificed for public entertainment and as a humiliation ritual and then people would laugh, ridicule and forget until the next week arrives with a new goat. You can see that there is no God in picture and I find it funny because India was a land of gods. What remains is love. It would surely torture you but it is the only thing that remains as everything including love and family have been co-opted but in the end only love and family remain. Grief is necessary for growth but in the setting we live in, it's just an impeding force to slow down people something that can be exploited when the time arrives and so personal traumas don't matter much. One has to always remember that happiness is the base state of a human being and if one is not happy, something is wrong. Happiness is also the choice that we have to make again and again. 

Edgerunner

What do you find at the absolute edge of human existence? Love, family and so that these two can survive, money, and nature and universe through the night sky. Only these things survive. These are the very bottom lines of existence that survive no society, no friends, no politics, no technology, no economics and especially not the societal God, faith yes and the God you have faith in. The best part of it all is the things that are responsible to put you on the absolute edge of human existence are technology and politics and it is here you realise that religion is just deeper politics. I loved my culture but it perished. It was right there in the early 90s and I had seen it and I saw happening to it what the humans did to na'vi culture, they demolished the Tree of Souls and this is what happened to my culture. I was asleep, with my fears, anxieties, insecurities, ambitions and I was asleep from 2004 to 2018, and then gradually I started waking up and realised that everything that was dear to me had perished. What remained was just the nature and the universe. It is during this time I realised the irreversible slavery that people live in and probably would live in forever. I prefer death. But love keeps you alive to suffer more for it. The culture is not coming back and it has been replaced by slavery and indentured servitude with everyone wearing VR goggles of their ambitions, the very carrot that keeps them moving until in the end they find nothing. When I was in my early 20s I was into psychological thrillers. It is at this time I watched movies like Pi, Nirvana and such. Reality can be one hell of a drug and it can shapeshift, you can end up entering and existing different worlds daily, want to try it? Go to homes of diffrent families, it's a whole new world there. Earlier these worlds were connected now they are just islands floating in the politics. Tree of Souls has been destroyed. What tethers you to reality in a Black Mirror setting? It's love. It's knowing that people love you and you love them. Politics, power climbs up and pulls up the ladder. Love carries you on its shoulders. Love can torture you but it's just politics torturing your soul using love as means. Love never tortures you. The Tree of Souls has been destroyed. All that remains now are love, family and so that these two can survive, money, and nature and universe through the night sky. 

Aliens Vs. Predators

The most important thing is to have clarity about the environment we live in and to adapt without turning evil. If one has to compromise with their morals and ethics one has to always make a mental note of why they make that comprises although it's incredibly difficult when the very soul of the environment that one lives in is corrupt. I have not made many compromises with regards to my personal ethics except when dealing with systems that are wholly corrupt. It took me quite a while to realise that the real issue in this country is not corruption, people can live peacefully in corrupt societies too by adapting. You have to pay a bribe to a government official, you pay it and get it done with in fact most of us got our driving licenses like this. The corruption that I talk about is the soul level corruption of this land and it is how I realised that religion as well as the civilization of this country is finished with no hope of recovery although the drama will go on forever or as long as it can go on. Like I said, the real problem of this nation is not corruption, it is predation. A potent metaphor of it would be anesthetising people and eating their flesh and in case the victim is helpless then eating their flesh without anesthetising. It's just a metaphor but it has applications on the physical plane. When I saw the setup I ended up realising that only true jobs are farming and business, and I despite being in healthcare, which wasn't supposed to be a business treat myself as rendering health services to people though I make it sure to keep it as ethical in the systemic pressures of the environment and times we live in as possible and this makes growth, in an environment of absolute corruption, impossible. The difference between United States and India is that even though their billionaires might be imperialistic the common people there are honest, hardworking and truth seeking and seek to preserve their ideas of liberty. In India it is a zero sum game of snatching morsel of food from the other person's mouth, the scarcity that was built in this country destroyed indigenous cultures and my village ended up becoming one of the casualities of this permanent food packets from the helicopter scenario where people have to fight for grabbing the food packets. People who wait in lines are permanently done for in this country, only two kinds would remain, those who don't wait in lines and get things delivered at home and those who fight and kill for grabbing things and opportunities. I write for awareness and this awareness leaves two choices actually one choice initially eating other people to progress in life. The best thing the present government has done is lifting the illusions the governments of past had put on the eyes of people. It's about selling, even selling yourselves as we see on social media and there was a time when it was about sharing. What remains for a common person is to have as much fun as they possibly can and try to create good memories and there is nothing that matters more than that. 

Soul Platter

I believe that people have their essences. I do not believe in souls as shown in horror movies (although they might be true), but I believe in souls as deeper essence of people. I think of soul as combined essence of every decision one has taken or will take (and by decision I mean actual decisions taken by a person and not coerced, influenced or controlled through sociopolitics of the world). The decisions however are influenced by environment too. Japanese soldiers a lot of them trained in bushido, the way of samurai, became demonic when they were told the enemy in front of them was subhuman. Although bushido expects warrior-like behaviour, thinking of other person as subhuman made them bypass what bushido deemed dishonourable. I have interest in the supernatural and I would like to explore if souls actually are reborn or reincarnated. Hindu traditions a lot of times scare people by telling if you do this you will be born as this particular animal, if you do that you will be born as that particular animal but we all know that those who induce these fears in people themselves do this and that. The politics of today taints essences of people. I being of Purvanchal and having a particular place of a physician know that the criminal-feudal structure governing the region inflicts infinite amount of suffering on the common helpless people. I had been exposed to cases of incest in Western Uttar Pradesh but then I got exposed to cases of incest in Purvanchal, a region that was sacred for me throughout my childhood and early youth. Purvanchal, which was supposed to be my home region, lost all its respect from me when I realised that making people commit incest was one of the methods of having dirt on people so that they could be blackmailed and manipulated and if we see Bihar sexual relationships with sister-in-law are endemic though up till the 90s the consensus was that sister-in-law is like a mother. The real bafflement arrived for me when I ended up realising that such things which would mean soul torture for the individuals involved are games and result of sadistic impunity by those who rule the region and if we extrapolate, the country. I write to pull out innocent souls from hell because in India after witnessing its shitshow for more than a decade, I realised that only good, innocent and helpless people go to hell and suffer and absolutely lower class criminal scum inflict infinite suffering on their souls. My goal of writing then is to make the souls aware to prevent their torture, to let them know that it's not them but the deep politics of this country which is a combination of economics, politics and religion. You can know your essence through your preferences and tastes, what you like in food, music, sports, movies, hobbies, interests and other things but in India of today it is very difficult to tell about one's genuine preferences though one can try. A lot of one's tastes are their conditioning but they are also innate. A child born in a generational musical family if not exposed to music at all will never know about the music but those traits will express in some other way depending on environment. It's like bacterial culture and medium. Right medium is very important for bacteria to thrive and the same is true about people. A successful person is a result of a combination of hereditary traits or nature, environment or nurture and training. 

Orbiter

I am a big fan of science fiction, or should I say I was? I have seen the ultimate of science as far as free human existence is concerned and it ended my interest in science fiction. In mid 2010s I used to watch short films on a YouTube channel called DUST (you should check it out) and thoroughly enjoyed them. It's a great channel for when you are alone on a weekend, have snacks and beer in your fridge. People who are delusional about the politics of the world can still enjoy that channel and I although still enjoy the short films the scale at which I enjoy those short films now is considerably lower. I have the fate of a man who enjoyed science fiction and seeking new frontiers having encounter with a mediaeval arrangement and mindset and it took me some time to digest that science and science fiction and mediaeval mindset can co-exist and it is how you can do Mandir darshans through your smartphones which were researched and developed in the western world and countries like Japan. I like pulp aesthetic of the mid 1900s and comicbook aesthetics of the 1970s, 80s and 90s. The comic book aesthetics of today are shit mostly because they stopped containing depth within them despite having more complex storylines compared to the comics in 80s and 90s. Complexity doesn't mean depth. I think pop culture was fine until we had BBC Sherlock and Breaking Bad. Things started spiraling downwards as far as pop culture narrative goes, after that. After them I kept thinking why the entertainment of today is so shallow, and it is later through my political experiences I realised that humans can be conditioned into anything, and this means they can be conditioned into believing sex and money as the ultimate aims of life, or have such a belief in caste and the superiority of their caste that it gets somatized in every fiber of their being, same goes with religion and I would think same goes for race. People can be made to believe that there can be more than two genders, there are two sexes and so genders at least biologically too are two but we must have consideration for natural born hermaphrodites and have a third gender but then there are more than three genders in today's times. Sex is so important for people that they base whole of their identities around it being gay and lesbians, which again, if one sees things clearly they would realise, is of political origin. Comic books have superheroes who are gay, it's just not good fighting evil anymore like it was in the 90s. I have seen the ultimate of science as far as existence is considered and now even terraforming of other planets, which I was deluded by national geographic and discovery channel that would happen along with flying cars, won't surprise me because it doesn't matter to me. 

Write Up

My writing has influences, when I was in early 20s I was influenced by stream of consciousness of Anton Chekhov and the noir sensibility later I got interested in Detective fiction set in British aesthetic by Arthur Conan Doyle and Lovecraftian sensibility and aesthetic during the early 2010s I got interested in transgressive fiction from people like Chuck Palahniuk and Bret Eastron Ellis and I still retain element of transgressive fiction in my writing to state the truth plainly where it is required, I don't believe in using transgressive fiction as a shock value unless it is purely for entertainment purpose like in fiction where of course it has to be dialed down in comparison to when we are expressing the actual reality. A lot of my influence comes from Hindi children's literature, magazines and comics from the 90s, a time when idealism in media was still alive, there was a standard ideals around which opinions were formed. I believe that writing is about creating an atmosphere. One reads Dracula from Bram Stoker and understands what atmosphere actually means, one can see it Harry Potter series too. I don't like atmospheres of Neil Gaiman but I am fan of his writing, the way he arranges the words and expresses the stories with words. I don't write fiction as regularly as I would like to due to the problem of the atmosphere, I am not able to build my kind of atmosphere due to the political time we live in. The concept of the novels that I conceptualized are redundant now due to the changes politics of the world. I see books and stories as portals where you step in another world and spend some time there but the reality of today, especially due to social media is too on the face to be able to suspend belief and enter the portal. Portals, like Narnia's Wardrobe, Platform 9 3/4 and portals to other dimensions, times and worlds also happen to be my favourite literary devices as one can keep the reality as it as and experience other worlds through them. It is like one can keep the reality and politics of today's world as it is and enter a world where everything is different and 90s had abundant use of this devices like a bonded labourer climbing a tree and finding a whole new kingdom at the top. I'm working on a novella at present but the vibe or atmosphere is not as I would like it to be and so I am going slowly with it, trying to build it slowly. Reality one lives in, which consists mostly of survival can eat up imagination and ability to fantasize. I, however, have stories in me and I would like to let them out if I can get the atmosphere correct. 

Final Solution

The easiest way to tell what is the priority of what rules you is to know what you need the most. The easiest way to tell what is ruling you is to know what you fear criticising. What rules people of this country is permanent and predatory and to know this is to know it all. All the 90s beautiful Doordarshan propaganda, Mile Sur Mera Tumhara, Ek Chidia Anek Chidia, Udaan, Sea Hawks, School Chale Hum collapse here. It was post 2013 that I realised that the nation we live in exists only on paper, or even a state like Uttar Pradesh exists only on paper. Uttar Pradesh has multiple cultural machines and the ones at the bottom of the socio-economic strata are the ones responsible for carrying on their heads the culture while privileged individuals like me speak in standard Hindi and English. For such individuals who are at the bottom of socio-economic strata, their cultural machines itself are their countries. Here is the best part though, not only these individuals are kept inferior and forced to carry the authentic culture of the land on their heads and in their bodies, there is no effort made to preserve the real cultures of land from extinction other than forcing people to carry them on their heads. I have seen that the base state of this country is rape, and it's a country had more than a millennia old civilization. In metropolitans corporations call the shots and in backward regions seths and zamindars do along with corporations. The government is just for the paper work of what is already decided. I have been lucky enough to have the tour of this country from top to bottom and I came to know that motherfuckers on the top do not have any idea about the real cultures of the land and they think of the people carrying the real culture of the land as animals. Cultures which developed due to community ended up becoming unlivable due to exploitation psychology and divide and rule practiced by those who are employed for crowd control by what actually rules this nation. And what actually rules this nation is a criminal syndicate. I find it funny that those who were supposed to be the protectors of the civilization and cultures are the ones who are actively destroying it for seths, zamindars and corporations. These motherfuckers went so deep in totalitarian micromanagement that they failed to see the bigger picture and here I would give you what is actually happening through examples of other nations, the grassroot cultures of this land are treated as sub-saharan Africa and controlled and manipulated with impunity by the rapists employed by the seths and zamindars. These seths and zamindars have their Mexican style criminal cartels which operate in the shadows and it is all connected to the big leagues who have disconnected themselves from the grassroot culture of the land and live in castles in the air. One has to realise that it is a mediaeval arrangement and only difference from mediaeval times is that control and force now can be applied without being seen while having complete access to people and their lives like a panopticon. My last straw was when I realised that these motherfuckers are doing anything to people who are way better than them and who take their lives seriously based on false promises made by politicians and the government and when I realised the kind of individuals who have been given the access and control of people. There is going to be no development in this country, only realisation of the slavery and anyway since I realised the irreversible slavery that I and people who are not aware of it till now live in, things like Bullet Trains and what was important to me like space exploration and terraforming of other planets stopped to matter to me. What is seen as culture today except the standard culture like dances such as Bharatnatyam and classical music is a mongrel hyperreality born out of manipulation and exploitation of the authentic cultures which lasted until the 90s. I in the past decade have personally seen a combination of entitlement and incompetence that I had no idea was even possible. The whole country is devoid of substance and is running on perceptions and their manipulation along with Pavlovian psychology. It is here it's extremely important for a common man to radically simplify their lives, family and money in an order they choose. I fell back on the most basic recreation that humans had nature and the universe through the night sky, anything else and that includes, television, movies, music or any sort of pop culture can be made to be a reason of exploited. The exploitation can be based on the basis of who had access to Western media including songs and movies first or who has access to appliances and vehicles first. I was made to suffer for not having Cable TV in the 90s, of course by those who had it in the 90s but this shows the level of what rules people in this country. I ended up realising that people are prevented from eating western food items bought from their own money from within their bodies, and we are living in 2020s. It made me realise that what actually rules this country is the British era turncoats and exploiters and extortionists who might have grown in terms of money but failed to grow in class and hence the institutional gatekeeping and rape. I also realised the real administration of this family is done through manipulating people's families and bodies. The external administration is majorly a scam. Everyone famous you see, especially after 2000s is an industry plants and I ended up realising that there is no meritocracy in this country even in things that require merit but illusion of meritocracy is retained which is fast deteriorating. It is made sure to have props from different castes to have the illusion of democracy while the prominent castes which will progress depend on the ones running the regional regional cultural machines. Only way that is left to survive this shithole we live in is to have fun, love one's family and hoard money which people are already subconsciously doing. The ones ruling this country ended up draining meaning from lives of the people and sold their souls. It would be fun where this country would stand in a decade. 

Atiyatharth

I got exposed to deep politics of this land in 2013 and since 2016 my goal was to make sense of it which ultimately I was able to do and I ended up realising that it is all basically about sex, money, contacts, resources and domination with needless rationalisation, philosophisation and intellctualisation on the visible plane. This is, however, something even an idiot can guess, the real knowing is how it actually is aggressively and rabidly at the invisible plane the lower nine-tenth of the iceberg that is not visible and it is this which looks like fate or karma to common people. It's basically just a bunch of criminals doing anything they want with people from the cover of religion, morality, law and social conventions. I realised this and simplified my life to basics and I was man who was idealistic, patriotic, nationalistic and who believed in a higher purpose which in my case was healing people. The truth I ended up realising was that it is all economics and mostly criminal one at that and that is being employed on people from within their bodies and it is here I ended up realising what is the deal about women having right to their bodies is all about. It is knowing the deep politics of this land, in my case Purvanchal, that made me realise that true meaning of power, at least the way it is practiced and it is the right to rape people without consequences. I believed in shit that people read in Rhonda Byrns' and Yuval Noah Harari's books but knowing the truth makes it all redundant. I realised that infinite torture can be inflicted on minds, bodies and souls of people while they think of it as fate and one of the methods is to give access and control of good people to lower class criminals with low intelligence and massive egos and this is the infinite torture hack of this country. I ended up realising how demonic this country actually is and it made me realise that Slumdog Millionaire's gouge out eyes with a hot spoon to make children beg is a centralised setup in this country for the majority. My job as a health professional, with the face of reality that I had, became redundant when I see the bigger picture because active clandestine genocides of people, cultures and families is going on in real-time and it's not a hyperbole, it's just not in a normal person's field of vision. You don't have money, and the your loved one who is sick is dead which is still okay until I realised that flow of money in a family too is controlled, or can be controlled absolutely, and flow of money to an individual or family can be blocked. It's essentially a predatory setup with predators isolate their prey and hunting them. The best part is their is no reason for the predation, it is random and whimsical in this country, as random as you are walking on a road and someone sees you and gets intersted in you but it also depends on your background as ultimately it is a central setup. I made it a point to record the things I saw and understood. I have better things to do and write and as far as writing goes my goal is to write fiction which I have been wanting to write and writing since the late 2000s. 

Write Concepts #24

It was 2011, and I was writing the concept of the first novel that I wanted to write. I find it funny that in about a decade the politics of this country changed so much that the story of my novel has become redundant. I still might end up writing it just for kicks but at present I'm working on a sort of magical realism novel and it is a hard work because given the political times of today I don't have the cognitive resources to be able to write that novel. Due to social media, the reality is too on the face and satellites have mapped every inch of the earth so suspension of belief is a harder thing to do and a group of people hunting relics throughout the country and world and with the political realisations that I have had in the past decade just doesn't sit well though I would try to make it work just for personal pleasure. In late 2000s Shekhar Kapoor has launched a bunch of comics through Virgin Comics and I really liked the world building that was present in those comics. It's unfortunate that that India simply doesn't exist anymore. The mythic vibe has been thoroughly lost in the past decade and has been replaced by a feudal vibe. I think I have written enough on politics and as a law abiding and aware citizen I have done my part and now I can focus on what I really want to do, that is fiction. I might end up writing a bit here and there about the socio-politics of this country but I think once I exhaust what I have already written it is going to be minimal. Culture of our country, as I ended up realising through my own village, has been thoroughly destroyed and there is no bringing it back. The ones ruling people in this country, as I ended up realising, do not have the capacity of building a culture from scratch and in the past decade they have managed to destroy what was there since centuries. What remains is myth, and although AI can write myth and Indian myth at that it has a type and I have tested the kind of myth that it can write. I have seen good times for literature and I have read good children's literature in my childhood and also good comics. I would try to incorporate that into the fiction that I write. I realise that it is redundant in the political times we live in, but since I wanted to do it since my teens I would rather do it as it is one of the few sources of pleasure that I have. There are a bunch of ideas, like a noir espionage mythological thriller and that would require work, but first I would finish the magical realism story that I am currently working on. 

Farsi

When shit hit the fan for me, and it can hit the fan for anyone and especially the innocents the first thing that I did was put my politics in order. Back then I was the quintessential common young man who believed in respecting the President, the Prime Minister no matter whichever political party they belonged to, same with the Governor and Chief Minister and locally the MLAs, MPs and the district magistrate and even the gram Pradhan. It's the respect for the post not the person. It's not that the politicians are evil, which they might be or they may not be it was my realisation from early to mid 2010s that the real power in this nation is informal and you can be be deleted from the face of the earth or tortured into oblivion and the Supreme Court will keep dealing with the pending cases as it does. I write this post in current political times because people do not understand nuance of things. One has to realise that Muslims are civilizational enemies of this land, but that doesn't mean that they should be persecuted and there are reasons for it, one, majority of Muslims in this country are local inhabitants who converted. While in North they mostly converted due to invasions, in states like Kerala they converted peacefully through trade. Majority of the Muslims are peaceful people and I have spent my childhood in a Muslim majority town where majority of my friends were and are Muslims. Here is the major thing: what is the base philosophy that activates in you when you are in threat, Islam is a culture that homogenises which again is against the plural ethos of Hinduism, but in the past decade we have seen similar dogmatic homogenisation of Hinduism and its plurality getting destroyed. What I have seen personally I realised that there is no recovery of Hinduism and in this country now it's just a biopolitical tool of control. The beauty of Islam that is in the subcontinent is majorly from Persia and what is now Pakistan. The issue with Islam and this nation is that this nation has already lost a major chunk of land in 1947 with the partition and the only way to know the truth about Ganga Jamuni tehzeeb is to wait till Muslims become 51% of the population. Christians keep Indic names of their children, they adapt to the culture but they support Muslims and Congress because they fear that they would be persecuted if Muslims are not there, which as I have seen they will be. The truth about Islam must be known and by everyone because like I said Islam is a civilizational enemy to this land but people should have the nuance that common people who just want to survive shouldn't be disturbed. The hatred in past decade has increased and it is baseless. If the ones ruling this nation really bothered about this nation they would have balanced the ledger in 1947 itself. It didn't happen and so there is no point is persecuting Muslims now. No other religion ideologically wants complete domination, a Islamic scholar would contend otherwise but we all know that Islam is not Buddhism and so Islam must always be treated as an exception just as it treats other religions but only ideologically and not politically. That's the whole point of the nuance. I see my region and I see women of my region saree wearing bhojpuri speaking Muslim women, they are few now as Burka wearing and Urdu speaking women are majority, and I see the hatred that is being peddled in this nation day and night. One has to be clear that the one's at top do not have any religion except money and power and people need to understand that. I personally want lower castes to convert it an indigenous religions like Buddhism or Jaisnism through I realise that the base setup is such that their persecution won't end though it would definitely ease some burden on them. 

Mool Aadhaar

I have experienced my region at a level where I thought God resided and instead of God I only found a feudal-criminal syndicate. I used to read spiritual books mostly to find solace for my health issues and there is the concept of kundalini in Indian spiritual literature and there is the concept of enlightenment and opening of the crown chakra. I would suggest reading Vivekananda's books on yoga, Raja Yoga, Karma Yoga, Bhakti Yoga and Jnana Yoga. I personally consider Vivekananda to be only true famous Swami post colonization of India, it took me reaching a certain age to realise why he smoked so heavily and why he died in his thirties. India was supposed to be an enlightened nation, but what I ended up seeing was something that would make a hardened person retch and vomit. The arrangement itself is such that it is impossible for proponent of indigenous religion to not to be corrupt though I would seriously hope that it's not the case. Truth is that India doesn't have a hegemony on enlightenment and at present there are more people in West who are enlightened than who are in India. The way of enlightenment in the West is to choose a domain and to work in it so much and so honestly that you end up knowing the nature of reality through your domain. Tony Hawk is enlightened through skateboarding, James Cameron is enlightened through filmmaking and there are so many other examples of non-famous people who achieve enlightenment through practice in their domains. Japan specialises in this kind of enlightenment and they do it with refinement. The Indian enlightenment however is different in nature, it is benevolent and the difference between Western enlightenment and Indian enlightenment is the same as the difference between Indian classical music and Western classical music. Western classical music is blocky compared to the free flowing Indian classical. The tragedy of our times is that the country with tradition of enlightened living is now a land of delusion and performance. Even enlightenment is not lived here but performed. I have suffered my region Purvanchal whole of my life despite not living in it for most of my life and I ultimately I realised that what rules the region not only tortures you consistently but also wants you to go through the suffering while consistently folding hands and bowing down to it and even then my suffering made no sense because I was already prostrated to what ruled the region and it is how I realised that my region is ruled by incompetent criminals. Only people with class understand genuine respect and these motherfuckers do not. As shit hit the fan for me in the region, which (the shit) again was imported and not of my own making I realise that at the invisible plane violation is the norm in Purvanchal and I have no doubt that this applies on the rest of the nation too. I realised that at the deepest level where most people think God resides there exists a mechanism of continuous victim blaming, blame shifting and credit stealing and I also ended up realising that at the deepest level the currencies are favours and revenge and a person is exploited by giving him illusion of favour, and not even real favour and fear of revenge for imagined or made up slights, one ends up realising that at the base it's basically intimidation which again is done by criminals. It's basically a protection racket where person is exploited in favour of protection and this protection stands for this entity not killing you, the most baffling part for me was the realisation that this arrangement is directly connected to religion, politics and capitalism. Suffices to say that my childhood belief in God got crushed under these realisations. It made me realise that these motherfuckers are doing anything to people and families and giving it the name of karma, fate or God's will. The irony is that this setup which can be extrapolated to the greater country was experienced in a region which has Varanasi, a place considered to be spiritual capital of the country. 

July

It is important to have the correct perspective about one's life. One of the important methods that I use personally is to see myself as a third person. I primarily got this method from the study of psychiatry, specifically from a condition of depersonalization. A person experiencing depersonalization feels as if he is untethered from his own experiences watching himself as a third person or like watching himself from a drone hovering above one's head. When you know this thing happens you can use this phenomenon consciously as a technique to have a bird-eye view of your place in society and in the world as well as to map your relationship. I say map your relationship because after getting acquainted with the deep politics of this nation I ended up realising that if you don't map your relationships the deep politics of this nation will, in fact it already maps all the relationships to such an extent that very few relationships are authentic and mostly of the privileged individuals, this mapping is done for social engineering and this social engineering considers the individual as a unit in a greater sociopolitical game, more like a game of billiards where one ball is used to move other balls to achieve the goals or like in the game of marbles where one marble is used to move other marbles. When I was in college I was under the illusion that the rich, powerful and influential work on the principle of "with great power comes with great responsibility" but as I grew up I realised that it is not the case, people are taken as numbers by these individuals if they are lucky and animals, which is the case in India, if they are unlucky. People are just a means to an end and the end is domination, in resources, in power. So while the media sings songs of benevolence of people like Ratan Tata, the real story might be something else entirely and I'm just using Ratan Tata as an example. What I ended up witnessing in the past decade I have only two theories, either this country is under occupation at the deepest level (either that or it is a globalist setup of Vasudhaiva Kutumbakam specifically for the rich), or the lords and elites of this country have sold the country and the people to foreign powers, however this doesn't concern me, what concerns me is the totally mindless manipulation and social engineering of people and families where making and keeping authentic organic relationships is impossible plus any relationship can be weaponised against a person. This, as you can see, is not a state of freedom and it's ironic that we got it in 1947. It is here seeing yourself in third person, mapping your place in society and the socio-economic strata becomes incredibly important. The truth is that it won't save you but it will, if you are a conscientious person will prevent you from getting exploited. I didn't cross any lines and yet I was a accused of crossing what can only be termed as socio-economic line, I spent time with it and realised that in this country application of rules are arbitrary and whimsical and rules can be applied on you just because someone doesn't like your face and the kicker is that you might not even know that person. Of course I was wrong guy for these kinds of shenanigans, but I ended up realising that this country is ruled by extremely incompetent and entitled assholes who act on their whims and make their whims fates of people and then victim blame people making them falsely confess things that they didn't do using force. 

Assurances

There are some things that people require assurances for. The tumultuous political times we live in they become even more important. The first assurance is that beneath all the rubble of politics, society and relationships, your real self exists and you can identify it through your preferences, in music, in sports, in culture, in literature and the kind of people you like, it's a good start and then you can find yourself by asking questions to yourself. The politics of today thrives on keeping people deluded, by making them eat green chutney and red chutney with samosas to make their fate better the truth however is that fate is pre-decided as well as real-time and the real-time only aids in the pre-decided fate for the most. I have known what dispossession is, despite having everything just based on caprices what I later ended up realising, incompetent assholes and my goal is spending quality time on earth but then quality time means different things for everyone for me the best definition of quality time is from my childhood, reading a comic book in scorching summer in front of a desert cooler. I have no hopes about this nation if it even exists, and it's not personal, it is because I have seen the background retardation in full display and making people dispossessed is a standard mechanism in the background so that they have no fallbacks so that they are spiritual and cultural orphans. I have also realised that there is no solution to this problem except having fun in the present believing in the God that is inside you and being capable of differentiating the God that is inside you with the socio-politics that is inside you. It's a hard task with this differentiation but once achieved life becomes incredibly peaceful. What awaits the majority in the future is inescapable slavery and the only remedy for it is to enjoy every present moment, not that the slavery doesn't exist in the present it's just that people will begin realising that what they thought of as fate, is actually slavery. That they are sick because they have to buy medicines, that they are tired because they have to order from food delivery apps and quick commerce apps. That the only bond that ultimately matters is their family. This realisation is inevitable because the apparatus which sustains delusions in this country is jealous of the happiness of people and doesn't dispense them happy delusions and people when not happy tend to find reasons for their unhappiness which would lead them to realise their slavery. The second assurance is that love exists, you know it exists in family but it also exists between a man and a woman, true love which is spiritual though it is almost impossible in current times and the politics interferes in it but, and it would seem like from a novel of Stephanie Meyer, the love where a man and woman imprint on each other's souls  exists. I have seen the machinery, which poses as a laundry in which you have to be washed but the truth is the dirt itself is created by it and if you survive the so-called washing you would realise that at its base it's a machinery that manufactures dispossession and deprivation. The only God that is in the picture is that inside you which, again, you have to learn to separate from the socio-politics inside you. Love for most is out of question because what we live in is essentially a eugenic breeding program for most but to know that it exists is to know it all. 

Customised Emergencies

It's funny how in 2011-12 I wanted to be a physician-writer and now I write regularly though the thing that is different is that I wanted to be a fiction writer and now majorly write non-fiction and a lot of it political. One of the reasons I do political writing is because I have seen hell, and I was prepared to deal with it, but I shudder to think what a totally uneducated and helpless man or woman would do when they are thrown into hell for no reason which happens regularly and at a huge scale in this nation, and especially to innocent people. I have seen a sort of what I can only define as spiritual parasitism by absolutely bottom of the barrel scumbags who I can only equate with what America says Nazis from Nazi Germany were. That's America's narrative however, every country has its own breed of Nazis and people like to simplify things so Nazis become villains in comics and movies while their equivalents, or maybe even worse, still continue to function all throughout the world. The issue with suffering and its infliction of suffering which can also be termed as torture is that like all things it tends to infinity. Domination seeks absolute control which is okay, but what is not okay is when the dominant lose their sense of sane judgement. I have seen absolute misuse of power which makes me think that every one who is in power in this nation absolutely misuses it which is obviously not true at the visible plane because this country is populated with a lot of good people who believe in doing their jobs diligently, however as far as the deep state of this nation go I think absolute misuse of power is an apt phrase. The best part of the arrangement is that a person besides you might be in absolute depths of hell but you won't be able to know about and that's where the quote: "Be kind to everyone you meet; you never know what they're going through" comes from. The most shocking thing that I ended up realising in the past decade about this nation is that the civilization this nation boasts of is a facade and I am old enough to remember the time when it was not, at least not as completely as it is now. I wanted to write a novel in 2011 which I still might end up writing just for the kicks of it but now I know that it doesn't matter because this nation in the past twenty years has managed to do what hundreds of years of invasions failed to do, draining meaning out of people's lives. 

Krantikari Circus

I live my life according to the meme of "modern problems require modern solutions" and this is because I have realised that this what the lives of the majority of people in this country is, a meme. When I was younger I believed in the philosophy of being comfortable with whatever life throws at you, it is later that I realised that it is not life that throws things at me and most people. I'm not a rebel, the most rebellious that I could be was sublimating my rebellion in the mosh pit of a metal concert. Though I am Subhas Chandra Bose, Bhagat Singh, Chandrashekhar Azad is kind of a rebel but that kind of rebellion slash revolution only works when one is being ruled by external forces. What is present today in India is much worse than being ruled by oppressive outsiders. The state of unfreedom in today's times can be customised for different people and life is like a VR headset with everyone tripping on their own life as the main character. Shit has been especially tragic for me as I was a happy go lucky, conscientious guy with belief in a greater purpose who ultimately realised that the only true greater purpose is sex and money. I have seen the time of extreme chronic burnout and at that time I had invented "the philosophy of the dog", living like a dog, eating, roaming around, sleeping and one fine day getting run over by a car. It helped me for a couple of years during my burnout phase. I have seen isolation, and at that time I developed "the last man on earth philosophy" where one lives life as if he is the last man on the earth and there is no one except flora and fauna and it went well. While these two philosophies that I utilised at particular phases of my life still work in the background I realised that as humans, as social animals, we can't really negotiate with the socio-political system because society and politics are in our assholes, and those who are enlightened or at least sociopolitically awake, not woke as that word now has been co-opted, know that this is quite literally true. I loved India, because I grew up watching "mile sur mera tumhara" but after I became mature I found rape to be its base reality which was still fine until I realised that this base reality is centrally propagated and this meant that I had to rebel even on the expense of seeming crazy. This also means all the drama of Satyanarayana Katha, Char Dham and shit like that, in which I believed in majorly because pious people who still exist in this shithole of a country believe in them, is fake. I ended up realising that for some people there is no option but rebellion even if they are not rebels at heart because walls close in so much that they are forced to rebel, or worse while the walls crush them even their screams of pain are branded as rebellion. I, however, ended up realising that India as a country won't survive an external onslaught because it is ruled by an inferior race of people, though I also realised that that onslaught will never arrive as the rulers have already sold the country and its people to external forces. The illusion however persists and people tripping on the VR headsets of their lives with them as the main character will defend the illusion with their lives. I have already grieved for my culture and my civilization, all that remains, and that's not compulsory, is my personal retribution which is hard to come by when every possibility is already mapped. 

Mafia Mundeer

I write a lot of political stuff on this blog because I believe in two basic things for people, dignity and happiness, I do not even believe in money for people, because a happy person can do well even in a hand to mouth situation if they are mentally and physically healthy. My dream for this country was a delivery driver making his deliveries coming home laying down in front of his desert cooler and reading comics. This is structurally impossible because of the post liberalisation designing of lower classes as hells. If you want to understand this i would recommend watching The Platform and Snowpiercer both of which are available on Netflix. I repeatedly say that this country at the deepest level is run by a criminal syndicate which also doubles as a providence and this becomes visible not only in the centralised corruption but also the existence of mafia in every domain. There is a mafia even in the domain of research just as it is in the domain of education, the coaching centres so it suffices to say that the majority of research that gets published in this country is actually hogwash. If you read this blog of mine it would seem to you that my views are totalising but it is only because I ended up realising that whatever happens in this country is centralised, it just doesn't look like it because the population of this country is vast. Whatever runs this country revels in stratification. Here is an example: there is tier 3 MD, there is a tier 2 MD and then their is a tier 1 MD. In tier 4 there are no MDs and I ended up realising that it is not because tier 4 places do not have infrastructure, it is because the lives of people in tier 4 places is not important. It is to be noted that only tier 1 and sometimes tier 2 MD can save your life. One has to realise that at all times a person in this country deals with two realities, one their actual reality and the second reality the reality of the deep state of this country which is intimate and already has ideas about your social and financial progress, and in case of place of my origin, Purvanchal, behaves like your father but thinks of you as a disposable animal. I did not start writing about politics until and unless I witnessed the deep state speaking for the government and the religion, though I had realised by then that government is just its arm and religion its tool. My goal for writing what I write is bringing awareness as the fates of the majority of people are not only pre-decided but also sealed and are also manipulated in real-time. I am a man of medicine so I know that diagnosis is half the cure even if cure is not possible. This country has collapsed from within and so has the civilization of this country while the external drama goes on and this is what happens when thoroughly incompetent individuals are playing a zero sum game. I have had an experience of a decade with the deep entity of this nation and i realised that these motherfuckers don't even have the idea of what they are doing to people themselves, it's basically indicscriminate rape and murder at an invisible plane at this point and throw it in the spectacles that you see news and memes about. What I have seen would be surprising if you think in civilizational terms like I did growing up, but wouldn't be if you have seen the real India growing up which again I have. One is kind of prepared for the fact that the big daddies  are criminal which is funny and still being criminal  despite having absolute power tells a lot about one's abilities, competence and nature; boomer uncles write about broken roads to Hindi newspapers which maintain this standard Hindi tone writing about Kejriwal and Virat Kohli, while being a part of this exploitation ring,  though nothing quite prepares you for the fact that God is a mafia. 

DJ and DJ

While a lot of my writing might seem paranoid it is not actually. I am a calm individual who was anxious as a school and college guy but mostly related to studies. There is a reason for why I write what I write, one because I have the capability to analyze things and two, while I considered keeping my mouth shut and minding my own business like the boomers do, I ended up realising that the motherfuckers employed by those who actually rule this country, and the keyword is actually, are doing anything to anyone and it's getting clearer day by day, thanks to cheap internet data, that neither this country has an intelligence establishment nor the Pradhan Sevak is in actual control. I have written repeatedly that this is not a BJP vs Congress issue, what rules this country is permanent and so are the criminals employed by it for crowd control. I have seen things and I realised that dignity is structurally lacking in this country because as I repeat often to stress it, the base reality of this country, which I have been lucky to see and see which crushed all the idealism that I inherited from my grandfather. You want to know the real tragic part? Those who rule this nation do not understand genuine respect, I ended up realising that they don't even have the concept of it and it is how I realised that these motherfuckers aren't old money or royals or individuals with a lineage, these scum only understand respect and extracted out of fear and while one can take respect extracted out of fear as absolute administrative optimisation after my observations in the past decade I realise that it is not the case. Since these motherfuckers do not have a lineage they are jealous of people who do have it and so covert genocide of families and individuals goes on which in newspapers becomes just another tragedy we read about. And this would explain the readiness of these bastards to adopt western culture while making the indigenous cultures so unlivable, mongrel and ugly, example: DJs playing vulgar songs in events like Saraswati Puja, and making western lifestyle as something to aspire to which act as carrot for the lower classes that they will, given the setting of this nation, never achieve. There is a total absence of dignity for people and I also know the strata till where, and it would till the upper middle class though it is mostly felt by the lower class and then the lower class and criminality of the ones criminal among it is used to control the mobility of the middle classes. Am I thinking too much? Imagine the administrative genius involved in this, there is none. I was there when there used to be Durga Puja pandals in my hometown and they used to mean something. I was there when weddings of people used to mean something, I was there when marriage and people's words used to mean something. When I returned back to Purvanchal I realised that the very cultural machine has corrupted to the point of no return, the culture of my beautiful land is controlled by mafia and I ended up realising that these motherfuckers do not even have the intelligence to understand it and this mafia is unfortunately also the intelligence and providence of the land and it's directly connected to the religion and the base reality as I ended up realising is rape so dignity for people, especially up till the upper middle class is out of questions and anyway bastards going to Taj don't give a fuck about dignity while they discuss five year plans and logistics of this nation. You have to realise that there is no recovery of this nation from what has happened, it has already been sold and not in 2014 since quite a long back, 2014 was only the time when the grip was tightened on those who carried the real culture within them. 

Civilizational Toilet

Gender roles given to men and women by nature are different, men primarily drift towards being providers and women towards being nurturers but it's not written in stone and they could be groomed or conditioned into playing either roles but they would in most cases if they are not embittered by their life's circumstances would gravitate towards their natural roles within conditioned roles, this however doesn't apply to individuals who are outright evil, whether men or women because they have already transgressed their natural roles and gone towards materialism and pleasure primarily through pain of others though they can exhibit natural tendencies related to their genders in their close relationships. I have suffered the deep politics of India and with all the hyperreality of a civilizational country and a democracy at the deepest level this country operates by keeping people hungry and especially for the things they actually need to survive or thrive. With my rendezvous with the deep politics of this country I ended up realising that the so-called upper class of this country, and by upper class I don't mean individuals who have money I mean the class that has achieved such an ultimate upper hand in the power dynamic that they are untouchable, employs enforcers from the lower class to keep families deprived. These individuals function as spiritual parasites for individuals and families, thought police as well as enforcers of persecution and torture mechanisms. Of course these lower class enforcers have betrayed their social strata, region, culture for privileges which includes the privilege of being able to exercise mindless impunity on people without any consequences, privilege of being able to rape people and decide their lives and they are fine with it despite because one, they are validated by the so-called highest strata and second because  no one with a functioning moral or ethical framework would agree to inflict suffering on totally innocent people. I do not know about the world but in India the base engine of deep "administration" is rape and baseless hatred which counts on people being thankful for their life even if their lives are pathetic and victim blamed them even when the problems are structural and/or inflicted by the deep structure. The past decade made me realise while the drama of democracy goes on, at the deepest level this country is run by a criminal syndicate with its basics being money, sex and contacts which expresses as exploitation, rape and gang loyalty especially within castes. One has to understand that in this kind of setting, God and religion are redundant only caveat being that one can be persecuted for not following religion, or worse, not following it correctly with the definition of "correct" being variable and changing at the whims of power, also a person without faith is easier to victim blame if they are not clear about the ideologies that sustain them. When people are just units in a machine which becomes individually interested only when it has to persecute or torture someone, and this presecution or torture as I realised in the past decade too can be based on nothing but whims and baseless hatred of the powerful, then things like gender roles stop to matter and for the dispossessed it becomes all about doing what they can, playing whatever role they can play to survive. 

Temple Run

The informal governance of this country, as I have seen in the past decade, operates by giving its executive branch stability and freedom to exercise anarchic impunity on people. The design of the deep state of this country is, if you can imagine it, a smaller triangle in a larger triangle where the apex of both of the triangles overlap but the base falls short and the base of the smaller triangle operates as a panopticon for the remaining space and base of the larger triangle. In short, the larger triangle is the democratic nation and the smaller triangle is a clandestine communist state within it with feudal, corporate and mafia components and operates like providence when in reality it is a criminal syndicate with religion as the primary instrument of control mostly working through victim blaming through karma or sin. India once had an actual religion, actual faith which was not opiate of the masses. I, personally, only have faith in South Indian temples because they are the only surviving relics of faith from the past at least in architecture and aura. North Indian temples were either destroyed by invaders or got destroyed from within by corruption, not that I believe that South Indian temples are perfect but at least there is continuity of architecture and aura. I went to Haridwar and I saw the temple priest talking about Uttar Pradesh politics. I went to Kashi Vishwanath and saw a daroga totally ignoring line of devotees and getting in the temple, not for security but for darshan. Then there is separate VIP darshans from North to South. Even God prioritizes the privileged. In the mid 2010s I got exposed to a reality of this country that made temples redundant for me though I still retain my faith privately and visit temples as a familial obligation. It is in 2010s I realised that those who truly rule this country think of religion as opiate of masses and it means those who control people through religion themselves do not believe in God, like I said a communist state. Faith is important and what is God if not truth and love. Although I believe in my Gods, the Mother Goddesses, what I ended up seeing in the 2010s proved to me that the kind of God the majority grew up believing in doesn’t exists though omniscience and to a fair degree omnipotence (I know it’s ironical) exists but it is not God but the panopticon. The God inside me gives me the strength to survive my tribulations which the deep politics of this land inflicts on me and that confirmed to me that my God, although impotent at physical plane, empowers me at the spiritual plane. Why I don’t believe in the God about whom I was told in my childhood, because I have seen the impunity, cruelty and exploitation which the God I believed in wouldn’t have tolerated. The existence of individuals who do crowd control for the deep state of this country and how mindlessly the engineer people’s lives is evidence enough that the God I believed in in my childhood doesn’t exist. But Ram does, and so does Krishna, as archetypes and these archetypes take the shape of faith one has. I believe in the idealism of Ram and teaching of Krishna, but we have come way further from them as a nation and this is what happens when a criminal syndicate rules a nation.