The Unending Game

It's 2022, and common citizens should understand that politics is all about money, that and power. Religion is a medium to access spirituality for the common man (or woman) but to the people in power it's a tool to control the population. My personal favourite religion is Buddhism. I have a dislike for some religious philosophies, especially the ones which try to convert other religions, but the world doesn't work on my likes and dislikes, does it? Some religions can be weaponized easily and Hinduism was not one of them but in present day India we can see that it's possible too. More the religion in a country and less the science, the easier it is to manipulate a population. Every religion has a concept of Heaven and Hell, and to reach Heaven you have to go through Hell on Earth in most cases. We actually don't know what happens after death so that's always going to remain a big mystery and religion thrives on this mystery. Hinduism has thrived on oppressing lower castes. There is a rigid social hierarchy and lower castes have faced a lot of oppression. Dr. Ambedkar changed his religion to Buddhism, an indigenous and probably and arguably the most peaceful religion in the world. That was his genius. I wonder why the oppressed classes don't follow suit. In Hinduism theoretically we preach the Bhagavad Gita but practice Manusmriti, but then that's how social structure is preserved. I'll get back to my point. The common man should know it's all about money. How? I'll explain.

Every state does propaganda, the media you watch is mostly state propaganda, meant to keep you occupied. The present government in this country however is not experienced and does not know how to create propaganda, because to be a good propagandist first you have to be a good artist. That's why you see that leftist propaganda in this country is finer and upper class people of this country easily fall for it. Because leftists, not a thumb rule, are good propagandists, mostly because they are good artists and are well connected. The right in this country targets its propaganda to the lower class and lower middle class votebank, and their method is so poor that it fails to convince the cool upper class kids. There is a saying that says "nationalism is the last refuge of a scoundrel", I personally do not agree with this saying. Things are not absolute. They are not black or white. Me, for example, I would consider myself a hundred percent patriot and around thirty percent nationalist. Nationalism is required in some cases, and it is necessary for a national identity. People in India simply vote for their caste and religion, there is no rocket science behind it. Lower class Muslims go for Muslim supporting parties and upper class Muslims become leftists (at least till the Caliphate is established, just kidding). There is a lot of cash inflow from various sources, for Christianity from white countries, for Islam from Arab countries, for communism from countries like Russia and China, and this cash inflow creates mouthpieces and propagandists, who are loyal to their source of income. Also, the world has not become so bad yet, some of them are foolish enough to do such work for ideological reasons too. The common man however becomes the cannon fodder. Now, what is behind all this, and for what? Money. Things are actually as simple as this. We all know it in some form or the other but then what does a common man has to do with geopolitics and tradecraft. Not much. I prefer religion as a means of solace, and for spiritual satisfaction, that's what it means to me, but to different people it can mean different things. For some it may be a ladder to power. Politics of ideology is dead, now they are just collecting money by showing people its cadaver. We are actually being ruled by multinational corporations, which might be a good thing or bad thing. All we can hope is at least our roads are good, our health services in reach and there is good content on television. 

A Timepass Writer’s History

22/11/21

I have done numerous writing projects in my college days for the simple reason that I didn’t want to waste my time. These were personal writing projects, I did a lot of poetry too, and I suppose this blog would be now used for the same.

Sometimes giving words to feelings is a difficult thing but that’s what writers do. They give words to feelings.

There was a dream,

A small one.

An assumption,

That everything will be alright

Gave wings to that dream.

An assumption,

That you only need to

Do the requisite,

And everything will be alright,

But it didn’t.

The sun kept shining,

Rising and setting everyday,

And the days passed,

The time passed,

In the hope that

Everything will be alright.

The wait was long

And the realisation struck.

It was not you,

It was never you,

And it was always you.

I never wanted to be a poet. I wanted to be a writer. I wrote poetry for easing myself, for relief. There comes a time when you assess and compile your writings. At first my poetry was romantic, but as time passed it gained a political flavour, why you would ask, and the answer is probably either writers are just skilled individuals, or they have gone through some trauma and write for relief or there is political oppression and they write against it. I personally don’t want to do anything with politics, unless and until it doesn’t continue with the methods of oppression specifically on me. I have a simple rule, if I can help, I will help in a personal capacity. I wouldn’t want to improve the system. The ones who are incharge of the system are capable enough to improve it and if it is a trashy system, it is because they want to be it that way. I would stick to helping individuals in a personal capacity than taking up arms (or pen) against an oppressive and tyrannical system. I write for pleasure, for the pleasure of creating and to give others the pleasure (or pain) of reading. I also write for aesthetic, or sometimes against it.

The boy saw a dream

And the dream became real.

Was it summertime or the winter

When you were thrown to the fringe.

You said falling into the abyss

Is just a chance to learn skydiving,

But do they have skydiving in your village?

It was a time when you were attracted

To the scent of a woman,

Isn’t a woman always a bait

For good men?

When the world feels

As if it’s closing in on you,

You ask what have you done.

Dr. Faustus or Sisyphus,

Or the good old Narcissus?

But you were none.

Thoughts are things

You read once.

And you took a pill in Ibiza,

Just to be the king of the world.

To kill the queen with a katana,

And send mosquitoes into a blackhole

From where they would never return,

One less nuisance from the Pandora’s box,

Or so you thought.

I would continue my projects here if I get enough time. Non-fiction was never my thing, but I did write some of it. There was a time in my life when writing helped me survive, it helped me through the lows and even if I don’t want to be a published writer anymore, I don’t think it’s good to abandon something which helped you survive in your worst days.

Tiers of Intelligence Sabotage And Use of Intelligence Sabotage Against Common People

3/9/21

Law and order are important in a country and intelligence plays an important part in prevailing law and order. But since intelligence people have a lot of information about the state as well as the politicians and hotshots many a times they are free to do anything they want and this sometimes or say many a times leads to harassment of common people. I am not making this up from thin air, definitely not, the politics, government, press and media and the intelligence is so woven together that sometimes a common man on the receiving end doesn’t not where the torture/oppression/harassment is coming from, and in this heady mix throw in capitalists because capital is required for proper functioning of all of this combined machinery.

When the state intelligence wants to sabotage or destroy a life, sometimes just on their whims and fancies, they apply several methods. I will detail one such method here, but before that I will talk of the tiers of the intelligence machinery. There will be a different machinery employed for a person from a tier 5 cities than the tier 1 cities. Tier 5 city people can get angry on this but it is only fair. The game here is that in tier 1 cities tier 5 people reside but in tier 5 cities the probability of habitation of a tier 1 person is very low.

Sometimes oppression/sabotage of a common man by local/state/corporate intelligence is done on the cues of politician or hotshots because of personal vendetta or any other reason.

Now as said before let’s discuss one method, among many, used by the intelligence to bring down a common man. First of all the interpersonal relations of the target are assessed, but before that a personality profile of target is made with help of his/her likes and dislikes, internet profile and such things. It is assessed whether the target can feel guilty or not, or whether he/she can be blackmailed or not, whether he is greedy enough to be baited into a trap or not, or whether he is shameful and weak enough to be destroyed by social humiliation or not, or what kind of methods of bullying can be employed against the target. After these things are assessed the game begins.

Now, lets talk about the psychology of people involved in these kind of things, undoubtedly the people who execute all of this in absence of a valid (what is valid is debatable) reason, such as an ideology or love for the country, have to be the scum of the earth, but then probably if scum of the earth has a family he/she has to feed it too. But then come those who misuse their authority and power just for sadistic pleasure. In doing this, there is pleasure of dominance, pleasure of marking territory, then if they are torturing/sabotaging someone they hate, there can be reasons for hate such as good old jealousy with that person or if there is a threat from that person, there can be contempt of familiarity, which is just a projection of self-hate on the target. But nothing beats good old bullying just for the heck of it. Small towns have big secrets but big countries have even bigger secrets. All rise for the constitution.

The Pyramid Scheme

19/8/21

Every state in India has a culture and so does Uttar Pradesh. When Hoezay of MTV fame makes Misheard Lyrics do you doubt anything? If not then you are safe in the confines of 'ignorance is bliss’. Every well administrated place has a deep state and the quality of deep state differs everywhere. If the state has a culture, deep state will have one too. The deep state generally functions beyond the boundaries of moral or ethical considerations. There maybe some reasons for that but a reason that can be safely assumed that it’s the basic character of a deep state. Not every deep state has dark web qualities but it’s more prone to having those qualities for the simple reason that it can’t be seen. The way it functions, people working for it have to be given a 'free hand’. They are partners in crime and thus there is more community within them than a communist government.

Now imagine a scenario in which an incompetent man is given the charge of overseeing a man who is more qualified and competent than him, what do you think would be the outcome? In an ideal scenario the incompetent man would try and learn from the competent man and won’t misuse his power over him, he won’t trouble or torture him. But we don’t live in an ideal world, especially in India, I agree it’s a better nation state than Afghanistan at present but in my personal experience, in India what you see outside is what you get inside, true both ways, also the worst you see outside is multiplied manifold inside. I will explain this with examples, a Hindi medium student in normal scenarios is jealous of an English medium student in India, it has been true since many past years and is true at present also, I wish that I won’t be true in future. What would this Hindi medium student do when he gets complete control over a convent educated person in a “not-so-ideal" situation. I will leave the answer to you and you will get the true answer depending upon your personal beliefs.

When Hoezay “mishears" the lyrics, what is the exact reason? You may find out if you are lucky, or not so lucky. Incompetent people or people with an inferiority complex have the tendency to become cruel when the get control over someone who is superior than them, this although is a bit philosophical but is true and has been true in history. I hope that it doesn’t remain so in future and people don’t act on their jealousy and focus on their own work or find other ways to sublimate their inferiority complex. Meanwhile, the one who are suffering will have to suffer till that time in future arrives. It may very well may not arrive as we see the backward leap of Afghanistan from 1960s to the time today.

Gboard, Oppression, Anatomy of Bullying and Administrative Brahminism

19/08/21

I was just typing Hindu on my Gboard and it didn’t capitalize the H when I typed Hindu. I then tried with Muslim and Christian and it capitalised the M and C. I thought this would be a good intro to a post about systemic oppression.

The word ‘Hindu’ is a persian term. This means the persian used to call the people of India as Hindus, and thereafter it consolidated on the indigenous majority religion people of India used to follow. There is much ado about Brahminical patriarchy these days, but this is true that like any other thing there are good and bad Brahmins. It’s a whole different matter that in Sanskrit the word root for all encompassing supreme reality and the priestly class is the same. In the Indian hinterlands to date Brahmins are respected, and it is only now with things like Dalit act their supremacy over the local communities is being challenged. Religious matters are still in their hands as it ideally should be.

Ruling classes have a method they employ when they are oppressing that is common worldwide. Bullying is part of the oppression and the anatomy of bullying is the same worldwide. One of the many methods of bullying is to mock, one other is to identify the pressure points where a person feels weak, discouraged, shy or troubled and then press it and then repeat it. Schoolyard bullies apply this method of bullying to trample over their victim and the oppressors of ruling classes use them on people whom they want to break. To keep repeating it till the person breaks seems to be the method. There are various methods to oppress, social isolation through social engineering, creating distrust, economic oppression etc. The methods are numerous. Since we have divided Brahmins into bad and good Brahmins, let’s talk about “bad” brahmins, these are the Brahmins who take advantage of the authority of their class or caste, whatever you may call it for pleasure, be it material, sensual or sadistic or any other kind. They use their knowledge of the system and scriptures to bully and oppress people by the methods mentioned above and numerous other methods. This brings us to administrative Brahminism. And this will take us back into history. Brahmins used to exercise control over the population in the yesteryears and first they did it for “Hindu” kings then for Muslim rulers and Mughals and then ultimately for the British. For colonial British and the Mughals, Brahmins were like elite slaves, elite for the Hindu masses and slaves for them. There were many “good” Brahmins in yesteryears too, the ones who wrote scriptures and philosophies that make the Indic religion and it’s sects so great. There were numerous Brahmin sages, seers and rishis who laid the philosophical foundations for the Indic religion. But then there were these administrative Brahmins who under the British ruled over the Hindus according to the Manusmriti. Chanakya was a Brahmin too but if you read Arthashastra you will realise how liberal (if we can use this word as it has taken a whole new meaning in today’s times) he was when it came to internal administration. Buddhism, Jainism and other sects coexisted with Brahminism during Chandraguptas time. It just goes to say that you can’t blame Brahminism, it’s the people behind the facade of it. Interestingly Gboard capitalizes Brahmin too but not Hindu. I hope the ones at google take these inputs (literally) and improve these shortcomings.

The Things Feminists Got Wrong

8/8/21

 #MeToo India was a resounding success according to feminists. On social media and networks there are hoards of Indian women who are proponents of Western feminism or to be exact American feminism. In 2018 a lot of well known Indian men came under the radar of #MeToo India and lives of those who couldn’t afford the damage were destroyed. The powerful got away with all they had done as it is always. What I am about to do here would be considered “mansplaining” by some or if I assume it right, by many feminists but I am actually not writing this post for them so technically it won’t apply.

The latest fad in the current generation of Indian feminists and their “simps" is to trash old Indian and to be precise “Hindu" scriptures which is in accordance with their American counterpart’s revenge fuelled version of activism. In USA as much as it is visible on social media, there is an activism of revenge going on, the film dialogue that clearly describes this phenomenon is “baap ka dada ka sabka badla lega re tera Faijal". The ability to sense context and intentions in a statement are getting extinct faster than a Dodo.

American feminism maybe a necessary movement or may not be so necessary a movement. A person living in India can’t be sure about that but the impact it is having on Indian women and their thoughts is totally irrational. The Indian torch bearers of feminism have imported the whole philosophy and ideology without making an effort to make it suitable to Indian culture. The truth however is that the proponents of Western feminism (and not women empowerment) don’t give two hoots about Indian culture and society and like their philosophy their goal too is revenge fuelled and power grabbing one which can’t be termed wrong at least in the Darwinian sense. I would have considered the 2018 #MeToo a success if it kept functioning even after ruining the reputation of a few well known men or if it worked to provide justice for women from the lower social order than the women who orchestrated this whole hullabaloo. But as we can assume #MeToo India was by the privileged for the privileged. Probably it was to induce fear in the hearts of men who were slaves of their libido and were too entitled or loose in front of women, and it did work but I don’t think it worked beyond them. A ‘woman problem' has been the end of many a men in history whether it was related to feminism or not. Accuse someone of “harassment” or “molestation” and see their goodwill collected through years of hardwork go down the drain. That’s how it was and that’s how it is. The real joke is that this #MeToo never saw the light of day in the lives of women of lower classes who generally never complain but are in the most dire need of some kind of intervention or support. There are a lot of women who work tirelessly for these deprived classes but their name will never be visible in the limelight because they don’t do spoken word poetry or because they don’t have she/her in their bio. There is a way to ascertain how serious these western feminism inspired feminists are for their cause, just ask them are they ready to work on ground for the women of war-torn Middle-East, the Kurdish and the Yazidi women. I am sure you will find the feminism melting away with this one question with a lot of them, the ones who are ready are the real ones, but then there is no other way to test their reality other than putting them on ground. A lot of these “western feminists" are just entitled crybabies or just too lazy revenge driven individuals who like their American counterparts assume atrocities on women without having any way to ascertain them. The past was patriarchal, it can be assumed, but what could be done that the future could be made better minus the hate filled propaganda these individuals indulge in as it only makes the future worse and in the words of such individuals 'toxic’. In the olden days people used to play their defined gender roles and majority still does so and there is no reason to think and believe that they shouldn’t do so. There is a more important thing that sensible men or women should do. There are actual women who work on ground for women empowerment and for justice and equality of women who actually need help. The biggest contribution to Indian feminism would be to recognise these women and support them as they work for the women who are actually in need.

What That Is Purvanchal And A Cyberpunk Story

4/8/21

I have always loved the place I was born and raised, loved the people, loved the culture. I firmly believe that in Purvanchal heaven lies in the middle and lower classes while the upper classes are hell. And sadly it’s the upper classes that run a place. Upper by caste, upper by position and upper by money. I’m not here to talk about the lower or the middle classes. I’m here to talk about the stinking inner workings of Purvanchal and how I experienced it, and how full of shit it is.

Also let’s not forget the cyberpunk story. Here it begins. A boy joined a network because he was lonely. He had a parallel life because he was unable to express himself to people around him. He had tried to do so more than once and the results were more than unfavorable so he immersed himself in literature and his work. The biggest mistake he made was to not take part in local politics wherever he went, which although was a blessing in disguise but left him vulnerable. He followed the unspoken codes he functioned on wherever he went.

Now let’s talk about Purvanchal, a place where a bloody paanwala is supposed to know more than a doctor. Don’t mind my language, I am not a person that is “classist” but you would understand that when you have spent seven years of your life in the study of medicine and yet some paanwala acts like he can judge you. I mean it’s a free country and anyone can “judge” anyone but it’s a whole different thing when a paanwala judges you with “authority”.

So, let’s continue the story. It will take a cyberpunk turn soon. Which is also one of my favourite genres. As we know, the boy was lonely and focussed on his hobbies and work, a very classic way of social survival, that is, without troubling anyone else. His family provided him enough financial help so that he did not have to take any help from others, and he was sure of his abilities, so there were no worries about the future. During the same time he met a holy man, and this boy respected holy men, he had this idea that the men who don’t marry and dedicate themselves to the society should be respected, even if they are social cowards, because in the end all that matters is of being useful to the society, and who knows, they may have the magical powers the scriptures talk about. The holy man predicted something about this boy, a kind of thing that, if he really was a holy man, he could’ve protected this boy. But then, doing religious propaganda is also the work of holy men, and it is an important thing for social order, depending on the type of religion, and in this world we got to save ourselves. The boy didn’t mind not being saved by anyone, he was just a bit disappointed, because this was not the world he haf imagined as a child. After this the story gets dark and he sunk deeper into web of lies and traps set by unknown forces. It’s here the story took the cyberpunk turn. And this turn was such that it would put William Gibson to shame. What if your eyes are a camera and your ears microphones and unknown forces listen and record all that you see and hear. Not only that they have a complete neurological control over your body and can move your muscles according to their will and can translate your thoughts into words and audiovisual media. They can also insert thoughts into your head and make your mind part of any hive mind they want to. This would be probably the worst nightmare of a person like Edward Snowden but lets not push it far. It would be the worst nightmare of any person who loves his or her privacy. This happened to him. In a very Nolanesque fashion his memories and research were stolen too. Not only that, if you can imagine a neurological beating, a kind of violence in which you are slapped with force, I mean slaps are generally to humiliate and intent matters more than force, was performed too. This guy who had never troubled anyone ever ended up in kafkaesque cyberpunk story. He had undergone oppression for most of his life but the nine years of continued sabotage and neurological tricks just broke him and sucked out all hope he had from humanity. Still, he believed in love and decided to live on.

Now when the cyberpunk story is finished let’s again talk about Purvanchal, the people of Purvanchal are very loving people, but that’s not true of the upper echelons, still, that’s somewhat true of upper echelons anywhere, but here the issue is knowledge and basic manners. The upper echelons of Purvanchal seem to lack that. Why? Because upper echelons of Purvanchal doesn’t consist of scientists, engineers and doctors, but politicians and half-educated businessmen. Still, it’s hard to not love your place. It may be a stinking shit, but it’s my stinking shit.

The intelligence of Purvanchal or the lack of it — A story

28/7/21

How would you deal with a boy trapped in a web of lies and belongs to your area? I would probably help him or if I can’t help him I will just keep quiet and remove myself from the situation.

I personally feel that Purvanchal should be a seperate state. The way Purvanchalis are treated in other parts of the state and the country is not exactly respectful and no self-respecting Purvanchali can bear it although Purvanchalis just like Biharis find their reasons to keep themselves pumped up by only seeing their side of picture and being blind to the reality. “Ek Bihari Sab Par Bhari", this is a Bihari’s way of overcoming the hate and ridicule thrown at them in every part of the country, but they seldom think that there may be some reason for it. Purvanchalis have no similar resort.

The issue with Purvanchal being a seperate state is that it will turn up like Bihar, a deeply corrupt state, at present it’s just a part of state but if and when it gets its statehood it will become more corrupt than it already is.

Let’s discuss the culture of this part of the country. Anything that is western is ridiculed while conveniently using the technology and appliances invented by the west. I love my land and I had been restraining myself from ridiculing this place even after unbelievable amount of ridicule and humiliation thrown at me by the same place. I am aware of the social and political structure of this place and consequently I have no hope for this place. You would say I am being too negative, but you wouldn’t say that when you will see the kind of political “leaders" this place produces.

One whole area has a mindset that anything other than a government job is abject failure in life. This place judges people by their achievements on paper, which I think is cool, if they allow the ones who have not done good on paper to flourish further in business or some other thing. But that’s too much to ask for in a place where they steal railings of a newly made highway.

Getting a wire on an unassuming boy for reasons unknown and then using methods that to extract information that will put Military Intelligence to shame. Tapping phone calls of innocent citizens and then if they talk to women using that to further blackmail them. I mean you can only oppress who is weak and only blackmail a good person and that says a lot about the establishment of this area. Local Brahmins being aware of what is happening to people and either enjoying it or taking part in it, probably they are part of the wire too. I say it’s easy to blackmail a good person with academic mindset and the local establishment and the intelligence with the mindset and ways of British era trying to humilate a person who has no other goals than being happy.

Let me say how this happened, first you judge a person for being in Bihar and put him on surveillance, then you sweep his social networks and find out his connections, then you gaslight him for his roots and gather intelligence against him to further blackmail and intimidate him. The intelligence “community" of my area is so fucking stupid and casteist that they just couldn’t understand that this boy can be innocent. The reason, this boy was influenced with western culture or philosophy. This triggers the age old inferiority complex that they secretly but unconsciously harbour since the British times. Thinking of western culture better than their own culture. Now if you have read Panchatantra and such stories there is a story about a bird and a monkey, where the monkey destroys the nest of bird who told him to build a nest for himself as it was about to rain, out of spite and jealousy. The one who wield secret power of surveillance in this place use this power not for stopping crime or better administration but for satisfying their monstrous urges. Think of this as a porn site but with real world implications.

Now how to make a person believe anything you want with help of surveillance and other tools. I mean in this world of global connectivity it can’t be so difficult. You can make an unassuming person busy with his own work believe that Purvanchal is still being ruled by kings, or make him believe that he is the cause of the coronavirus even before coronavirus sets its foot in India. Shows you how deep the rabbithole goes. If we think like this, who can know about coronavirus even before it sets foot in India? The answer will be obvious, the establishment, to narrow it down, the intelligence. I am still not sure whether corporate or government but I am sure in the upper echelons they both are heavily connected. So, the local establishment either jumps in or was always there in the doom being setup for this unassuming boy, there are two reasons, either for writing tweets or blogs or for talking to a girl. The Bengalis were involved and he talked to a Bengali girl so second one seems more obvious. How does this guy knows Bengalis were involved? Because his Google turned Bengali for a few days and The Telegraph equipped with the power of SEO tried to gaslight him. Comedy Nights with Kapil the television show not only ridiculed him but also took the name of his girlfriend as one of the main characters.

Bengalis are fierce when it comes to ethnicity but Purvanchalis, well as one of my friends said they have a slave mentality, I felt bad but I also couldn’t agree more after going through all what happened to me. You hate someone so much that you make fun of someone’s roots despite belonging to the same roots. That’s some self-hatred right there. You have resources from the Deep State and you can make a person believe that he is a slave, slave of whom, it’s never known. Remember, all this happened to a guy who avoided conflict all his life.

Purvanchal — The land where you are doomed

27/7/21

There must be some reason why son of an airforce officer in this region becomes a notorious criminal in the same land.

There must be some reason that this land is getting roads after seventy years of independence.

There must be some reason that the roads built in this part of country have to be built every season.

There must be a reason that movies and tv display people from this region as criminals and not only that, it is glorified, even in the region.

There must be some reason that this place is still so much riddled with casteism that people prefer their caste over development.

There must be some reason that people in this land take more pride in being a criminal or politician (it’s the same thing here) than becoming an academician.

There must be some reason that young boys from this area are not taken as someone to take care of and to be prepared to make the future of this area better but as cannon fodder.

There must be some reason that the phones of children of known people of this land are tapped to blackmail them later.

There must be some reason that well read children of this area are told that they are still being ruled by a king.

There must be some reason that a well read boy from this land is intensely tortured just because people in power in this land don’t like his name.

There must be some reason that a boy from this land is bombarded with lustful thoughts about his own family members just because he can read English.

There must be some reason that a boy from this area is called as a drunk not because he drinks alcohol but because he makes the mistake of thinking highly of himself validated by his personal struggles.

There must be a reason that in this land being a Brahmin by caste (as setup by the British) is more important than being a Brahmin by thought and deeds.

There must be a reason that in this land a sick grandfather in his last days had to tell his grandson fearfully that his father was adopted.

There must be a reason that in this land people have nothing for each other than the feeling of jealousy.

There must be a reason that in this land you do not have any community other than your caste.

There must be a reason that a smoker in this land is seen as if he has committed a murder while a murderer is seen as a hero.

There must be a reason that in this land drinking even a little alcohol occasionally can give you the tag of a drunkard and make you feel as if you have killed someone and there is no redemption after that.

There must be a reason that incompetent people read thoughts of well read people and make them touch feet of their househelp to not to teach them a lesson but satisfy their ego and jealousy.

There must be a reason that people in this land have so much inferiority complex with English speaking people that they start hating valid Western philosophy and thought and when someone from there locality starts to think in a western manner or speak English they try to insult and humiliate him because if their own jealousy and hatred stemming from inferiority complex about their own culture and tradition.

There must be a reason that people from this land are not proud of someone that does well from the area but are jealous of them.

There must be a reason that everyone in the country thinks low of the people in this land.

There must be a reason that a little boy is shown his place by making him see people speaking Bhojpuri when he tries to think better of himself.

There must be some reason why a 23 year old from this region is intensely tortured for more than 8 years and no one in high positions bats an eye.

There must be a reason why the girls from this region are raped in moving bus and an iron rod is inserted in their vagina.

There must be a reason that a boy from this region is tortured for 8 years just because he belonged to this region.

There must be a reason when a good girl, as good a girl can be, dies an untimely death leaving a child behind.

There must be a reason that people from this region have no other option than being either oppressed, corrupt or criminals.

There must be a reason that a unassuming boy from this area is blackmailed and tortured for years just because he watched porn and had talked to some girls.

There must be some reason that the friends of people belonging to this area make fun of them for belonging to this area.

There must be some reason, that high ups from this area turn a blind eye to all of this.

A Game That Devours The Innocent

27/7/21

I had read a little while ago that during British times one had to take permission from the British to visit India. A very natural thing if someone is under someone’s rule but it was shocking to me. Shocking in the manner that I couldn’t believe that others used to decide that who can and who can not visit our country.

I have gone through my hell. When I talk of hell, I talk of it as a Christian concept, studying in a convent school does that to you, although given the absolute state of Indian education and schools I have been always glad that I studied in a convent school. I like Christian faith and I like Christians, the Christians in the middle and lower classes are actually good and peaceful people, I am here making generalizations and not taking the effect caused due to the recent political situations in the country.

The British, although I don’t consider them evil when I think according to Darwinian way of thought. Well, they had a strong Navy and enough man power to colonize nations and assert their supremacy so they did it but when I look at it as an Indian the only the emotion that overcomes me is disgust. Although I am in favour of their methods of administration as it continues at present in India because they are the most experienced when it comes to administration all over the world. Sadly, Indian government officials not only practice their methods of administration but also their ways, thinking themselves as holier than rest of the population as our “white masters" of yore thought themselves as Lords of the lowly Indians. It has been visible in Indian judiciary and bureaucracy until very recent times. If I stop thinking as an Indian I am actually a fan of British, in a strictly Darwinian sense, a sense which prevails until today and is starkly visible in the Middle East.

Now, when talking of British, how can we not talk about their Sepoys still working in Indian media and other pillars of the state. After the British left, under the Russian influence Marxism influenced our intellectuals and education system, whether it was actual influence or Russian money no one can know for sure. Although one can be sure that the present troubles in India are partly if not wholly due to foreign money where our star celebrity journalists and historians are busy peddling foreign narratives, we can’t say money is not involved. Their are many foreign hands, Churches, Islamists, foreign capitalists, communists, and so on.

The Marxist historians glorified Mughals, and conveniently eliminated the stories and histories of Hindu kings and kingdoms from our education system. These are the people who organize lit fests in the country and are the “cream" of the Indian society. India has always been a pluralistic society and has paid a heavy price for it and it surely doesn’t need the lesson in secularism from western societies who have derived their learnings from colonising and oppressing people.

These western Sepoys and the Marxist-mughals who had been running the narrative until now feel shame in deriving knowledge from our ancient traditions. The Congress has done a lot for the country still it can’t be denied that their more than fifty years of rule made India a deeply corrupt country, so much that this corruption is not going anywhere now. Let me bring back 'thinking of themselves as Lords of lowly Indians’.

The Indian media until recently had been a propaganda machine in favour of the “minority" which is definitely not a bad thing until it becomes focused on the teachings of only one religion. A “secular" state shouldn’t care about any religion and care about all of them according to its threat level to the native culture of the land.

British did what they had to for themselves, and similarly foreign powers act in their interests. The question is can we the average Indian, termed Hindu, which in itself is a Persian reference, act in our interest? The Bharatiya Janata Party has no experience of governance and it has been starkly visible through out their what I would call ‘a regime’, still they were required to take some strict actions in national interest which the Congress, infested with Sepoys and Marxist-mughals would have never taken. Thankfully we have a bureaucracy that is ever present irrespective of leadership changes.

Duckhunt — A story

26/7/21

It’s strange when people on a website or network come together to bring you down. You think there must be some reason that these people started torturing you but in the end you realise that assholes don’t need any reason. You probably have read the The Most Dangerous Game by Richard Connell. To be continuously fucked and experimented upon, you just need to fit the bill. The more intelligent 'the game’, here meant in the sense of hunt, is, the more fun it becomes for sadistic assholes, especially if they have preconceived notions about the social class or/and geographical area and culture you belong to.

So, on this network, you see a lot of people, and you were just random, because you wanted to be random, you had a writing style and you were exploring other writing styles along with going with the flow of the said network.

On the same network there is an aunty, Elite and well-spoken no doubt, and she has her lackeys too. You wonder why would she be borderline disgusted when you mentioned that you see everything with a sense of awe. You get along with a few people and the ones you don’t get along with, as any self-respecting and logical person would do, you don’t talk to them. This aunty along with her lackeys used to play a game which will now be referred to as Duckhunt. Young boys, escaping their drab, painful lives behind an internet identity were the targets and she and her lackeys derived pleasure from the torture, mainly mental in nature, they inflicted on these poor souls, afflicted with melancholia, anxiety or sometimes their own libido.

Now, this is not only the aunty’s fault, she was just the one who was openly enjoying. Nothing bad in enjoying what you love. After all Elephants got to show the monkeys whose the boss, only difference is that elephants are not assholes. Now enough about the aunty. The people involved in the “Duckhunt" will be referred from now on as ‘Assholes’.

So the assholes used to choose their victims on this network, most of them (the assholes) were probably but surely dark web creatures with enough resources to hunt for 'The Most Dangerous Game’. If you want to compare the difference of resources the Assholes and their 'game' had, compare the countries of United States and Tuvalu. So, it made the hunt for the game, less of a hunt and more of a torture porn. I’m sure enlightened ones of you have seen the movie Hostel. Only difference is that this was on a mental plane instead of physical. You would think that Doctors are bound by their oath to not to participate in this sort of a “game" but you can’t be wrong enough. Here, apply some Volini if your feelings about the doctors are hurt. Intelligence people, both corporate or government would know about these kinds of games resourceful people play.

You must be wondering what kind of a game is it? Well, every game is different, and more individualised than homeopathic treatment, but to give you an idea, it’s more like the movie Amir. If you haven’t watched the movie, no need to watch it just for this story as the game differs from person to person. Just know that it involves a lot of sabotage, honeytraps and mocking, till the murder or suicide happens.

Now, since the assholes (not actually elephants, because elephants are gentle creatures) are very resourceful, there is practically no way out. Once you are in the game, it’s the matter of counting the days till you expire. Sorry to leave the story open ended.

PS. Let us not forget Aunty’s loyal dog, Ranga Shetty.

Cyberpunk 2021

26/7/21

It’s 2013 and your head is getting sexual thoughts. You are a poet by nature and except for watching some movies that young people of your age watch, you don’t think about sex much, so it’s a bit odd, but then you brush it off as “normal”.

You have been depressed for a while and you are filled with empathy for people who are depressed. You wanted to be a psychiatrist at that time because you wanted to help people. It’s 2013 and you know your libido is focused, to the woman in your life, but you are a little flirtatious, you like to let the women you like know that you like them.

You read about platonic love and coincidentally along the same time enters a girl named Swagata. A bengali, not hot exactly but beautiful and cute nevertheless. You were living a shanty life at the time because one, it suited the place you were living at and second because you had read and were inspired by Vivekananda at that time.

She was magical, or at least that’s what she felt at that time. You heard her singing on her SoundCloud and she sang one of your most favourite songs “chalo tumko le kar chalein hum un fizaaon mein”, you were smitten. The sexual thoughts tried to intrude, but you didn’t let them, you found her just too pure to talk anything dirty to her. You talked about a lot of things, you talked to her not like your present shanty self but like you actually were and then one day *poof* the heaven was gone, because probably she hadn’t watched The Namesake, or she hadn’t read about platonic love, but she had watched the film Lootera, and you were about be Varun Srivastav from that movie. You wrote a ballad for her too, an English version of Tu Raja Ki Rajdulari. You were busy with a lot at that time but then when the love story ended, a horror story was about to begin, which would later turn into your favourite, don’t know if they are allowed in India or not, a cyberpunk story.

It all starts with a woman, isn’t it? So here started the game of intimidation and bullying. Why? You just couldn’t understand. But you braved through it all. Just because you were shanty at that time. Children of government employees don’t have it so easy. I suppose she knows.

You love the Bengali culture, not in its present state, but the old Bengali culture, Rabindra Nath and all. You are the kind of person to take afternoon naps and sleep with the family in one razai and yes talk to people, you can say gossip, about the state of this country and the politics.

Anyway, all of it didn’t matter. You were shown your class, just like a factory worker was shown his class for loving an industrialist’s daughter in an old bollywood movie, or for example take the movie Raja Hindustani where a rich girl falls in love with a taxi driver, funnily enough, Taxi Driver was your favourite movie at that time.

Woke Indian feminists are abhorrent creatures, because most of them have lived a life that is privileged, I do not blame them, because coming from privilege, they are bound to be like privileged Indian males. Their version of feminism is actually limited to privileged classes which they tend to generalize on whole of Indian society. If your social class has asshole men that doesn’t make it a universal truth. There are traditions which they don’t follow because they are woke, and then when a male from their own social class screws them over, because no one especially women (although it does happen in exceptional scenarios) “screws" men from a class lower then them, they cry foul and “down with patriarchy" begins.

There are actual feminists who do the work on ground, for the social classes that actually need help, saving women from drunkards and wife-beaters, but then the people who do real work are seldom appreciated.

Now, what is a sure shot way of sabotaging a male in Indian or for that matter in any society? Add a woman angle. Monica Lewinsky got Bill Clinton and woke Indian feminists got a lot of Indian men in 2018. Remember I am not using the term Indian Feminists but woke Indian feminists, because there are feminists like Maitreyi Pushpa and Taslima Nasreen too although Ms. Nasreen is technically a Bangladeshi. You were gaslighted by TVF, the handpicked trash from one of India’s premier institutions, IIT. Don’t take it otherwise, they did a lot of extremely good work before they were absorbed into the trashpile that is Indian media. What was hilarious that Arunabh Kumar, the creator of TVF got himself in a molestation scandal, and ever since then TVF became the second name for standing up for national anthem, using its third rate but extremely talented artists for the same, creating skits that were in accordance with the newly written but invisible unofficial constitution.

When it comes to you, they just couldn’t get you in a similar scandal so they had to take help of corporate biotechnology. Synchronising your thoughts with YouTube and Twitter timelines to give you that whatever-the-opposite-of-elite-is feeling. When you showed your resilience to that, the other means had to be adopted, by exercising neuro-mascular control, if you don’t know that, ask a scientist who is part of the “deep-state", and by going local. You were interrogated about one local “politician", and what was hysterical that love turned out be a fart, physiologically. The torture methods were so intense that Military Intelligence actually using them on real terrorists will feel that what they were using were actually mild methods.

You begin to see Zomato ads everywhere including in your head, and Zomato employees around you, making you wonder whether Zomato is into food delivery business or into intelligence extraction one.

A Good Guy’s Guide To Surviving Deep State Sabotage

26/7/21

There is not much you can do about it.

Stay away from women.

No point in managing your internet profile, although your internet connections will be used to gauge your social connections.

There will be a lot of intimidation and blackmail involved, even on little things.

Imagine people who have so much money that they don’t have to earn a living, these people are the puppeteers, rest are just henchmen.

Imagine the world as the Sims (the videogame), because there will come a point when it will feel like one.

Know that law and journalism are one of the most corrupt professions in the world, also the bravest if they choose to stand with the truth, but since it’s the real world don’t expect an Atticus Finch and when it comes to journalism you have seen what happened to Julian Assange.

All blows will be below the belt.

Sexuality will be involved, so try to keep it clean from your end.

You can be branded a communist, anarchist, naxal, nazi or any other -ist that your internet profile fits conveniently in, so be ready for it.

Don’t trust your thoughts and feelings without vetting them thoroughly.

Media is your enemy, and TV show and advertisement writers are voyeurs, humanity wise they are bottom of the barrel.

Read about biotechnology.

Read cyberpunk literature.

Know that it’s harder to survive if you are actually a good guy, but try your best.

Manage places where you lack self-esteem or self-confidence, those places will be hit continuosly and without mercy.

Be ready for social sabotage and isolation.

Things are going to go local, sometime or the other. Local Deep State is going to get involved either because of lies or for money or sometimes just for fun.

Two stories, Intelligence and Surveillance

22/7/21

I had thought I won’t be writing in English anymore but given the dire circumstances and if I say dire they absolutely mean dire I can assure you, I am forced to write this post.

What does an average Indian want? A peaceful and happy life and to win cricket matches with Pakistan. The average Indian is not in the power game. He just want to watch news, discuss about politics and want their children to go to a foreign country to study so they can boast within their community about it.

What I am going to write here is majorly an ethical standpoint although I am aware that it’s neither the reality of the world nor the intelligence agencies have the farthest relation with it. I will begin with the story of a boy.

This boy was lazy and as his teacher once said, sharp, a liar too sometimes but never with intentions, he just liked to concot stories that will either give him pleasure or to the listener. He had simple tastes and a reading habit, which is hard to find in today’s times though not impossible. The problem started when his name was changed and was too strong for either his social standing or his frail body. It was not a thing that he believed in, he loved his name but society has a habit of having perceptions and those perceptions eventually affect the one being perceived. Along with this there was a sudden change in school and induction into a new culture in which he just couldn’t fit in so he turned inwards. There were several guilts because of the strong sense of ethics and justice which was either due to nature or the nurture I am not sure. The school changed again and his insecurities and the need to belong grew and along with that grew the hopelessness and despair. Teenage is the time when you are stepping into the real world and he decided to live it to the fullest with all the internal blocks and limitations he had. He needed ideals to function and sometimes he derived those ideals from the popular culture. The body couldn’t take the extremes he pushed himself without taking consulting and coming to terms with the mind and got sick. Still, he managed to finish his college with help of financial assistance from his family, confident of what he can do in his field until he landed in a soup that he didn’t know was there. The short and sweet story of the boy ends here.

Now, let’s talk about intelligence. A robust intelligence system and network is required to protect the nation from external as well as internal threats. Intelligence is corruption but for a seemingly noble cause. An officer of intelligence must be morally corrupt enough to perform his tasks and have enough integrity to not to betray his employer. Now a days all the intelligence is available on devices. One just needs to check a person’s internet history to assume, I am not using the word know intentionally, a person’s personality. I am not going to go in detail because Edward Snowden has said enough.

Now, let’s start the story of another boy. The year was 2012 and the living conditions the boy was living in were dismal by his personal standards. He had a lot of time in his hand so he started a twitter account. Interested in philosophy and to learn more, and in providing knowledge to others. He was just going with the flow experimenting with different philosophies and in his head he wanted to be a writer or at least to write, because writing gave him pleasure.

Now after spending around six seven months on Twitter, strange things started to happen to him. It seemed like someone was trying to show him his place he didn’t know the reason why and continued with his life until the interference not only became starkly visible but also cruel. The story of the second boy ends here.

A word can have multiple meanings and interpretations and here the concept of context comes. Corporate surveillance is everywhere these days in form of smart homes, social networking and media sites and so not only meaning but the context becomes heavily important. It’s often seen that the person we have good rapport with understand the context easily than the person we have no rapport with. Talking of rapport within intelligence, it’s important. Internal intelligence can control the narrative within country by sabotaging rapports of like minded people and isolating them. Birds of same feather flock together and here comes the part where sabotage plays a role.

More often than not the victims of internal intelligence are common people. Anyone who is smart, or anyone who thinks differently than the common narrative prevailing in the country. Political leaders use internal intelligence to sabotage each other and anyone who can come between them and their interests and sometimes for petty revenge. There is nothing ethical about it but if there is a vision of better society then ethics become important.

The life of common man is going to get tougher as the mass surveillance by the government and corporate increases. Everything we do is going to be recorded and can be used against us at any given time and as I have seen in present times, sometimes just for sadistic pleasure.

The Elephant And The Ant Comedy Circus

15/10/20

I sometimes just want to understand the organisational structures and how they function. I by the virtue of my birth and upbringing consider myself a Rajput. But, personally, I have neither taken advantage of it, nor got any special privileges for it. It is a burden in today’s time but I won’t say it is as much of a burden as being a Dalit. Still, knowing enough ethology and psychology and after seeing some literal miracles in my life I don’t pity anyone much. Sympathy, yes, when needed.

I have always focussed more on the duty part than privilege part and not being able to do my duties have been major component of my suffering along with other factors.

Caste system in India is generational. You are born in a caste and you continue being in that caste and carrying that pride or shame despite your economic condition. I actually never cared about caste much, (except for the pride part) because I never had it in my head, I was told that I am a Thakur, and it prevented me from feeling marginalised even when I was being marginalised.

I feel that people who are work or duty oriented don’t care about being marginalised or exploited until they are straight up oppressed and humiliated. Even after being told that I am a Thakur, I focused on the “protector of the weak” part more than the “Thakur" part. Not having any obvious “Thakur" privileges growing up were made up by having something to be proud of. Real or Imagined.

I don’t have to lie, I like violence, mostly in movies but sometimes in real too. And I am capable of violence, which I doubted when I didn’t know myself. The only difference between me and a roadside goonda is that I like authorised violence. And when the violence is not authorised or justified, I don’t like it. Who authorises violence? Well, the authorities.

Now, when a person like me who is capable of violence has to see violence which is not justified and has to keep quiet because of several reasons. It does hurt. The helplessness of not being able to commit violence against the apparantly oppressive and evil people (due to larger factors), is to say the least, discomforting. When I was younger I used to think that the system is rigged. When I am a bit older, I think that I don’t know enough. My brand of justice might be myopic to say the least, although it doesn’t feel so.

I have been tortured incessantly especially since the past 8–9 years or so. I actually don’t mind it, because according to my strict standards for myself, a lot of it was my mistake, including trying to avoid conflict and then fucking it up on an even higher level.

At first it was a bit humiliating and frightening but as time passed I started to enjoy all that attention. I don’t even know what I actually did, but then I know the probable causes and those are many and enough. It’s a bit strange when you are afraid of death enough to protect yourself and not afraid to die at the same time.

The cultural and educational inadequacies in this whole process have been terrible, although I regret making them better for the ones after me. I have my doubts about this process and whether it is designed for making people better or just to derive pleasure by seeing them suffer. I regret saying that I have enough violence in me to understand how latter can be true too.

How To Not To Write To Save Your Behind

15/10/20

I was a happy man once. I was in a lot of pain but I was happy. I took to writing because of a few reasons, and the chief among them will be, I am a creative and an imaginative person, it gave me relief, I was an attention seeker, I wanted to know more about myself and the world.

When you hear quotes like “the whole world is your oyster”, “possibilities are endless”, “it’s your life” and “YOLO”, you sometimes tend to actually believe these statements. I suppose it depends on the individual approach and understanding, and my approach was to take myself to the extreme.

When you visit extremes, the pressure starts to build, and then starts a cycle, you can call it vicious. But what if you have been in this vicious cycle throughout your life?

I gave up on writing because I want to write what I want to write, of course I am not going to write anything “seditious” or anything “radical”, but then there is still a lot about the world a normal wannabe writer doesn’t understand, although I don’t think “radical” has negative connotation to it always, a lot of times it refers to positive change too. Also, it’s hard to understand that whether “they” fail to understand the context, or I failed to understand my own subtext (which for the most part I don’t think, because of several reasons). It also gives you a hint about how simplified things are, ones and zeros, numbers, words, and of course (probably) genes. Intentions? Feelings? Emotions?

In this mostly “lick it after you spit it” situation, I would just say that one thing I can’t (won’t) write to save my own behind. No point in saying the things I don’t believe in. I understand things, and I also understand things that can be dangerous. In this magical realism world, I am now aware that sometimes you may not be right, but given how the matrix adapts itself against you, I don’t think it is about right and wrong. Still, sometimes you realise that the word that may sound as ridiculous to people who are calculative or the ones who are pessimistic, may sometime be the last straw of a person battered by his circumstances (and decisions? And?), and that word is ― Hope.

Who Controls The King?

13/10/20 

“Bread Ka Badshah, Omelette Ka Raja.”

The beautiful thing about human beings is that, we hear what we want to hear, and there are very few people who know enough perspectives to decipher something close to what is actually being said and even fewer who don’t believe what they want to believe, after that.

There is statecraft and then there is tradecraft. Does tradecraft has anything to do with trade? Shakespeare considered the world to be a play. Some act in it, some just improvise, some direct and then some watch. I used to like Spy thrillers, one of my favourites is Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy. The time depicted in that movie seems peaceful because I consider myself a common man, ignorance is bliss. In this day and age of information warfare, anything can make you a sleeper cell for something, which would be activated in due time, your religion, your race or maybe your gender.

What’s up with the Indians feeling so inferior about their own civilization when they come to know more about the world? Seems in stark contrast with the overconfidence that overflows when they know less.

I sometimes feel that I too might be a sleeper agent for something, given the amount of online trash (news and opinions) I read to satiate my thirst (just leaving it here). Although I personally have know (no) questions or qualms about my devotion to the land I live in despite not liking all the people many a times, but given the frequency people have to put up Indian flag emojis, to prove something obvious gives me some doubts about what I feel and what is happening.

I woke up too late. Why? Not because I was fond of sleeping, but because deep down I am a pacifist and also a revengeful bastard if I think I have been wronged unjustly, and thus very early in life I decided to mind my own business and become “atmanirbhar”, which, for the uninitiated, is hardly possible in a society.

Now, let’s talk about personal opinions. I read that for becoming a good writer, you need to write regularly, so I used to write regularly, all kinds of things, and it led me to today, writing to clear my stance, because it’s not about dying, it’s about dying without communicating what you really feel and think. And again we are back to the first paragraph, “we hear what we want to hear”.

Few things I am vocal about which may seem borderline fascist, one, that I don’t believe in teachings of Islam. I would rather directly follow the state. If I was a muslim, Quran for me would end at, “Allah is all powerful, and merciful.” I wouldn’t need to sing it day and night that Allah is Merciful, if I actually believed in it.

I wouldn’t want to believe that Allah is Merciful, out of fear. Good thing about being a Hindu is you can pick and choose the things you want to suffer for. You can believe in “Bhay been hoye na preeti”, or you can believe in “Sarve bhavantu sukhinah,” and you can also respect the belief that “Allah is all powerful and merciful”, even if you find it hard to believe in it. I personally choose to believe in “Sarve bhavantu sukhinah”, which is more of a ideal than a belief, and somewhere I know that it is very difficult if not impossible, but the first step to “sarve bhavantu sukhinah” would be letting people believe what they want if they are not causing trouble, and, are not sleeper cells.

Who Let The Mongrels Out?

 11/10/20

Do mongrels have a right to live? My belief is that everyone has a right to live. But then opinions are subjective specially in a democracy.

Anyhow, the main question is that who let them out? I ask my pardon in advance for offending delicate sensibilities, but even though I tried hard to use butter with my words but despite my VIP Frenchie underwear, I couldn’t do it. I wanted to be a writer once, I know, very foolish of me, and that’s the exact reason I gave up on it. Now I write only when I have no options left.

Life is painful especially when you can’t do things you love and you are blamed for things you haven’t done. But, good thing about getting blame for something you haven’t done is that you don’t feel guilty about it, so despite all the ashleel music playing around you, somewhere you are at peace, even though you haven’t been at peace for long because you have been wicked to your own self. No rest for the wicked, they say. Although I have my doubts about this statement in the present scenario of the world.

I think I have said this before and I will say this again. I am not a very political person. I haven’t voted since I was 18, one of the minor reasons was my health and the other reason was assessment of the mentality of this nation (according to my surroundings, not generalising).

Well, here, BJP goes right, Congress goes left and Indian soldiers go left-right-left. Sometimes I think what should a government, whether it is BJP or Congress do, unless it is run by a deep state (sorry for injecting conspiracy theory in a mostly sane conversation), I think it should serve people, protect people and provide justice, atleast I think so.

What should Capitalists do? Ofcourse their primary goal should be to make profits, I mean that’s how they are defined, I guess. Also, provide goods and services, I don’t think these two functions are mutually exclusive.

India is a socialist country, which was inserted in the constitution by Indira Gandhi. Sorry for digression but Hitler was also a socialist. I mention Hitler so much that I may seem like a Hitler apologist, which is definitely not the case. I like to study people, sometimes the so called “monsters” of History, to understand what made them monsters, and in this pursuit I can just hope that I am not forsaken by my God and gods.

For the record, I am not a very social person, I have a little difficulty adapting well to certain societies, but that doesn’t mean that I am asocial or don’t like people in general. I have called myself antisocial and such words when I used to think that I am funny and also didn’t know the power of words.

I can understand what the government should do and what should the Capitalist do except from crushing the people who come in their way like a worm. I never understood what do the communist do? We all live in our little communes, with family and friends, with our specific communities, but I find political communism incompatible to human nature unless of course our nature gets too evolved, as an idea although, it sounds fantastic. I was apolitical to a point until I was forced to make a political viewpoint by my circumstances and I found integral humanism suitable to my viewpoint. Of course I have some rather strict views when it comes to some things but I do have explanations and arguments to support them, and like many other people I also don’t pull out arguments out of thin air or out of my ass. One of my political viewpoints is, Mongrels have the right to live and Machines should have better intelligence. Sometimes I feel I am being squeezed like a lemon, but then I gotta stay true to myself, and also not let the people who are too stupid to deliver justice, deliver it like bhelpuri.

The Country Doctor

 10/10/20

“Kya Russia mein Russian ladki ke saath vodka pi hai?”

“Maine bhi nahin pi.”

“Kya Goa mein Israeli ladki ko dekhne ke baad baal katwaye hain?”

“Hmm?”

How strange is it that just wanting a normal life and wanting to do your work properly, can lead you to become Aryaveer and later Krantiveer.

Sabke Nana, Peshwa Bajirao par sandeh nahin karte. But who made Bajirao a Nanasaheb? Who made a person who is too lazy to visit Vaishno Devi, visit Bethesda?

Who the hell is a Nazi? Were the German soldiers not human, that they have to bear shame of the decisions of their leader till now? I mean their must be good people in the Nazis, I think it’s possible.

It’s also possible that I may drink Juice and hang myself with a green cloth tomorrow. Heart is at the right place, but why do almost all humans have their hearts on left side?

How do I sitting in the abyss, get to meet local trash, and am supposed to remember my place in the society despite all the hardships I have faced, while Lutyen’s writes books on “Why I am a liberal”.

I think it’s possible that one can become “pavitra” by getting sodomized by a Pandit. I mean he can also give you knowledge, but sodomy has a personal touch to it.

One good thing about being Dushman Duniya Ka is that atleast you unite the world against you. It’s Holi time people.

Love Is A Fart?

9/10/20

Some jobs I guess are generational, I am not sure but it does feel like that. My mind somehow refuses to believe that people who would build power structures would build them so weak that they could be overthrown or overturned. The force of oppression goes from above downwards and the lowermost unit gets to be the coolie number one I guess.

Sushant could lift Sara Ali Khan on his back to Kedarnath, and then go on with his Shree Krishna Govinda Hare Murari. When you refuse to pass on the oppression then what you get is a sandwich. I for one, am a staunch believer in love, I mean it is one thing that seperates us from robots and brings colours of emotions to our otherwise dull lives. Is love a fart? Maybe. But as someone in medicine, I would say farts are good for health. Also, your fart may trouble others but it gives relief to you so I guess it is fine.

These days there is something called “Brahminical Patriarchy”, which according to the commotion on the social media, always has been. I for one have never had any issue with it, although I can’t care about caste when the damage done to me by someone is personal. I do have the habit of generalizing my anxiety but I don’t generalize my grudges. My grudges are focused, but like a good boy, I never act on them. Moral Science is a good subject even if it is an ignored one.

Still, if you have a job of a Zaalim Lotion which you never signed up for, and also of a coolie and a trash can, what can you do about that? I believe in doing my job dutifully but I would readily deny any job my conscience doesn’t agree upon, but how can you deny doing a job which you don’t know you are doing.

Don’t wrestle with the pig, they say, he would drag you in the mud and then beat you with experience. I have seen this example in my own life and whole-heartedly agree with the message. Although I think pigs are misunderstood creatures, and I would also include vultures in the list. But this applies to animals, and not humans who act as pigs and vultures. The real vultures and pigs actually clean the environment by consuming things which would pollute otherwise and in case of pigs, they also provide pork to those who eat pork. If I had to be a pig, I would be Peppa Pig, not as tall as her as I read she is about 7 feet tall, but as happy and playful, without dragging anyone in the mud, and I would definitely not want Elon Musk to insert a chip in my brain (as I had read in an article). As we see daily the two prominent professions which keep trying to outshine each other in pig’ism' and vultur’ism' are law and journalism. I can’t really blame them because I have seen the circumstances that can make a person a pig or a vulture in human form. Still this pig’ism' and vultur’ism' can be applied in a better way.

The difference between people in the power structures and others is that people in the power structures know the rules of the game. I have been ignorant and reluctant to participate but that didn’t stop me from being a Mohabbat Man or a Coolie number One. Like they say “A man’s gotta do what a man gotta do, even if he sometimes has to wear Zivame lingerie.”

In the words of a great man, “Ankhiyan ladi re ladi beech bazaar, dil mera lutt gaya pehli baar, usko bulaya maine kitni baar, aaya ni chandna ik vi baar, totte totte ho gaya dil totte totte ho gaya.”

Anyway, in full disclosure, I don’t think I ever had any doubts about my aukaat, but I did believe in the constitution and freedom of speech, turns out, to exercise freedom of speech one has to first understand the power of words, even if they are hidden in some corner of your diary where they can’t be seen.

Something About Children's Media

 I was lucky to be born in a time when I got to read quality literature and watch quality cartoons. The children of today can't understand that because they grow up watching subpar children shows by people who are not passionate about what they do. The media establishment decided that shows should be Indian, made by Indians, but they forgot that it requires a skill set. I grew up watching Cartoon Network, shows like Batman: The Animated Series, Johnny Quest, Dandare, Dexter's Lab, Courage the Cowardly Dog, The Mask were some of my favourites. Today's children on the other hand grow up with cartoons which are not Indian despite being Indian and their plots, plot devices and techniques, everything is lifted from the west. We Indians copy the west a lot. It is clear in our movies, in Bollywood too. Suddenly they have started making remakes of Hollywood films as if there is a dearth of stories in India.

The trick is doing things for passion instead of "roti", and this is the only thing we Indians failed to copy from the west. I have read a lot of quality literature in my childhood, and there was this era of comics too back then due to which I am a fan of comics and graphic novels even today. Chandamama, an awesome magazine of my childhood era is defunct today and the quality of other children magazines, I would take one name, Balhans among others, has reduced drastically in content. I did not take the name of Balhans because it is the worst of the lot, but because it was one of the best children's magazines at one time along with Chandamama. Children today are thrown into the furnace of society from a very young age, you have online coding classes, guitar classes and God knows what all, and I think it is natural, the competition is high, my personal thinking is that the child should know at least one vocational skill such as carpentry, bike or car repairing/mechanic skills, pottery or cooking etc. Coding skills can be useful too, but not everyone is going to be Linus Torvalds or Mark Zuckerberg and the education system does provide basic coding skills to understand the concepts. But in the end it's all up to the parents to decide, to each their own. 

A Little About My Kind of Literature

When I was little, my grandfather used to take me to the bookstore and get me children's magazines. I developed a habit of reading very early in my life and it helped me a lot during my life. The downside of the habit of reading is that you become too idealistic and when the real world hits you it hits you hard, but then due to the same habit you are well equipped when it happens. Read good authors, not that anything is going to help you when "the sky falls down" but writings by good authors are a consolation. When I was a kid I used to read a lot of comics. Comics are a beautiful way of unlocking the imagination of children. I read a lot of literature, both Hindi and English. Like many children of the 90s I love Harry Potter, it's a beautiful book. I still like it and I think it's one of the best children's novels. I read authors like Khushwant Singh and Taslima Nasreen and many others. When I was in college I used to do a lot of poetry and story writing. Grammar has never been my thing but I write for the sake of creativity, expression and aesthetics. I read a lot of short story writers, like Chekhov, O. Henry and many others. I started reading classics in college and read Conan Doyle, Tolstoy, William James and many others. I have been a fan of Kafka since my early youth and I like existential literature. I like noir for the style it has. And as the world opened up to me I started liking transgressive fiction and cosmic horror. At present my favourite genres are science fiction and cosmic horror. I have a lot of appreciation for Lovecraft and Philip K. Dick. Back during my younger years I used to like transgressive fiction, but then there is so much transgression in the world itself that that fiction is almost reality. I also enjoy dark humour a lot. Dark humour is not everyone's cup of tea but then it doesn't have to be. 

Literature is the mirror of society and also the mirror of the mind of the individual who writes it. When I was in college I used to write satire and existential literature. Some of the stories that I wrote were dark and dealt with things like revenge, others were romantic and idealistic kinds. I like revenge stories, because I have appreciation for justice and I have always wanted to write a noir story with a lot of stylized violence. But I am not into writing fiction anymore, still I will give an excerpt of a stylized noir (and a bit transgressive) fantasy that I had written:

"She was so beautiful, his mother, and that's why a deva from the heavens made love to her when she was asleep. A minor deva, he was infamous among the apsaras for his ways, they called him accidental deva, thought of him as a lustful asura, and he was lustful, and so his mother got pregnant with him. She died a lonely death, just after his birth, because that's how the Indian society is to a single mother, and she couldn't explain how she became pregnant, she couldn't explain even to herself. He was a beautiful boy, and the government took him in as a baby, along with others for Project 1347. That's what was happening to all orphaned babies at that time. They were taken in by the government for Project 1347 and mothers were assigned to them. A lab situated deep in the jungles of Himachal Pradesh directly under the department of defence was tasked with Project 1347. He was assigned a name, Vikram, and a codename, 077.

Vikram was sitting in the car waiting for Tanya. He lit a cigarette and changed the radio channel to news. Matoshree (Mother) was directly overseeing the mission. Tanya was inside the hotel having sex with Prateek Goel, Indian head of an American technology company, the camera on her handbag recording everything going on on the bed. Prateek is fucked, Vikram thought to himself. Maatoshree would now blackmail him to give secrets of the cutting edge technology his company was researching on, and of course the Indian government would then sell it to the Indian corporates who were just too lazy to develop their own authentic technologies. Tanya was Matoshree's go to for jobs like these, she was extremely beautiful and good with conversations, as far as skills go, everyone who was a part of Project 1347 was skilled. Skills were a dime here, what was important were their roles."

Hello Friends, Paani pi lo!

9/10/20

I couldn’t bear to watch the Netflix series, Leila. 'The Namesake’, a movie by the same maker is very close to my heart because of some reasons but Leila is just unbearable. One can say it is based on a true assessment of future depending upon your political leaning but if there is a futuristic near post-apocalyptic fiction, I would prefer it to be simple, like Mad Max, without trying to specifically malign or slander a specific community. Obviously every piece of art including movies has politics in it, but if it’s not a documentary, the least it could be is engrossing or entertaining.

Lack of water is a real thing, and could stem from personal or larger factors. How strange is this world where people sipping cocktails complain about lack of water.

India has no dearth of stories if you want to make webseries but for some reasons Netflix only chooses projects which have the capacity to fan unrest.

I got confused between Atish Taseer and Prayag Akbar, and I don’t think it’s that much of a big mistake, atleast it doesn’t feel like that.

All I can say is sometimes the thirst may not even be real but induced, and even if you want to protest against the lack of water, their can be a balanced way to do it, especially if you have that ability.

I’m no one to long for a Utopia but not having a mountain on the head and not being hammered would be nice, especially when the things said had context. Still, why would I mind when I myself have the habit of oversimplifying things.

Evolution of The Internet

There were times of Yahoo Messenger, when you could make any chat id and get into a chatroom of your interest. I used to be in the Harry Potter chatroom a lot. Only the ones who have played Age of Empires on a dialup lan would understand the sheer fun of it. The internet was a whole different beast back then. There should be two things clear though, there is nothing that is private on the internet, and the government records all your activities on the internet. The illusion of privacy on the internet may sell VPNs and anti-virus software but it's just a way of helping the software economy. When 3G mobile data came to India, the internet started becoming mainstream, and now, with classes being held online during the pandemic we can safely say that it has become mainstream. Data is the most important commodity these days. Big Data and Big Tech control the world now. And who controls Big Data and Big Tech? Guys (not girls) who would probably be bullied in school in a world where there was no technology. Of course they are overseen by individuals not necessarily facing the same issue.

Is there a problem with today's internet compared to Yahoo Messenger days? That depends on your point of view. When the internet was new, people wanted to connect, share interests, make friends, but with the internet boom came information boom, and now we face issues like a patient "knowing more about his medical condition than the doctor". The expression "there ain't no such thing as a free lunch" can't be truer in the case of the internet. You do searches, accept cookies, fill in your personal details, and these things are then used for targeted ads. To assume that Big Tech and Big Data would follow ethical practices will be a far cry. Businesses have only one ethic generally, profit, and we can only hope that they follow ethics, which is highly unlikely given the amount of spam we receive in our inbox. But that's not the only problem. Advertisements are fine, because we use the internet for free, what we pay for is the data connection, so it's simple give and take, even if we get the ads of what we were talking about just another day, on our insta feed, or an ad of something we searched about on Google, on a totally unrelated app. You see, the problem of the internet is not here. The problem is that it is swallowing the very basic things that make us human. Everything on the internet is permanent. What you are doing now, will be seen by your children and after that your children's children. We can't do much about it. The main issue here is commercialism and narcissism becoming a way of life, but then who doesn't want to make money? And the internet lets you do that from the comfort of your home. You just need to be able to attract the attention of people. Let's talk about journalism now. It's not about news or good writing anymore, it's about clickbaits and keywords. Good journalism in the present day is the journalism that makes good use of SEO, that's all there is to it. And the real culture of our ancient civilization is starting to show in the facebook comments. Now, let's see the dangers of the internet. You can be easily psychologically profiled by the kind of content you watch on the internet, by the government and the corporate equally. Your internet activity can be used to blackmail you, again by the government and corporate equally. Ethics is just for books and good people, and according to Murphy's law, things are not looking good in this respect. 

The internet which used to be a rendezvous point to meet new friends with shared interests is now a warzone for propaganda peddlers and is turning into a permanent prison for common man, which he is not even aware of. Still, it has given rise to a whole new economy and the ones who took advantage of this economy and got rich wouldn't be complaining. This new economy allows you to monetize your talents, whether it be dancing, acting, comedy, cooking or something else. We are more connected than we ever were, we can video call people, still, loneliness remains. You can do payments and banking from your phone, do trading, invest, apply for jobs, do reservations, order products and services. Everything now is at our fingertips. Our collective psychology is going to get affected by these major changes and it would be curious to see how society evolves in coming years. Some of us miss the old internet, when it was just a source of knowledge and a way to meet new friends with similar interests. But there aren't a lot of us.