Jaane Kya Hoga Rama Re

You get off the bus. Your brain is craving nicotine. It’s an expressway and you see people going to the toilet, eating patties and Maggi and drinking chai and cold drinks. You go to the outlet and inquire if he had a cigarette. He said that there is an eggwala and he has cigarettes. You go to the eggwala, an extended part of the same establishment and inquire about cigarettes and he pulls out a pack of Choti Goldflake. Cigarettes are non-veg now. Interesting. Your whole life you saw your babu, who worked at your home, chewing khaini from his dabba and smoking beedi. Beedi are Indian cigarettes. And they are non-veg now, and as expensive as non-veg. You have been in healthcare long enough to know that this country does covert population control and what better tool to do covert population control than cigarettes? Indonesia has cigarettes and people smoke and healthcare mints money, China does the same. But here is the catch. Cigarettes make you feel good for a while. In this land it’s not enough that you die, you have to suffer and die and the more you suffer the better it is. I don‘t eat non-veg on Thursday and now as my family is turning Brahmin, I can‘t eat non-veg Monday, Tuesday and Saturday. Jumma is safe I’d suppose. Though I don’t give a shit about any of it. Cigarettes are non-veg now. Freud would have equated it with a blowjob, but then he corrected himself, “sometimes a cigar is just a cigar”, and he was the expert so he was the authority on judging whether he had an oral fixation or not. He dies by oral cancer. Gutka Kings of Uttar Pradesh getting richer day by day, buying Mercedes and Audi while people are going crazy painting the town red. When I was a kid I got myself a Nintendo bootleg for the price of two cigarette packs of today, even today I can get a bunch of games on Steam for the same price. And it’s not about quitting. It’s about cigarettes becoming non-veg.  I stand in front of bathroom mirror, looking at myself standing in a fog of smoke like a noir detective, actually I'm hiding from my wife and she would suspect something is off when she smells room freshener in the bathroom. I try to see in the future seeing impeding lung or mouth cancer or emphysema but at least death then will be on my own terms which is rare in this country. Cigarettes are non-veg now, well, rape should be non-veg but then that’s just my opinion.