Roshogolla

I mostly write to give people diagnosis of their suffering which again as I believed before the 2010s, is not cosmic in nature but political and this suffering is inflicted, at least in this country, from such a low level and is so local that it's embarrassing. Imagine your culture and imagine the most crude and criminal kind of elements in your culture, these are the actual gods of the common people and I'm not talking about burger munching, coke sipping, Sopranos watching assholes as they might have other gods of British and American origin. You see opportunism in the daily life of this country, unfortunately it is just an expression of the opportunism at the base reality of this country, and I say this because I have seen it. If you think that there is some benefit standing up for the elderly or pregnant women in the metro, not personal but at a societal level, you are wrong. All uncouthness in this land and all the rape flows from the base reality of this nation which is in fact uncouthness and rape, above it is situated performative manners and morality. The assholes who eat tiramisu in Taj hotel are the same who employ uncouth rapists as gods for common people, people who are way better than them and in places like Purvanchal they are gods of engineers, professors, doctors and of course the common hand to mouth people. Criminals, and actual criminals, decide your next generation and they decide your life traumas and the past you have. I used to believe in simulation theory but the reality of this country is so feudal that scientific thought collapses. The question then arrives if it was always so? Because till 1947 it was the British and before that it was the Mughals (at least for the majority of what is India). In 2016, I had an experience of being alone in my mind like the Black Mirror episode USS Callister. I mean, you can only wish. Surveillance is embodied in this nation and it's hard to tell whether it's feudal, capitalist, of the State, or globalist. Once you realise the permanent surveillance and real-time manipulation of lives and relationships, all social contracts collapse and only survival remains. You earn so that you can maintain food, clothing and shelter and your social ties and so that you can buy new things. I got myself a keychain camera by Kodak that clicks early 2000s style pictures, my second favourite time after the 90s. I got that because I liked it, but I know that it is redundant, just like my writing, something that I wanted to do since my late teens. When all life is a lie then all the stories about life are false. There is no chicken soup for the soul left because the events are orchestrated. Only true stories that remain are which the people who have salvaged their autonomy have written. There is no Shekhar Kapur's Devi fighting an ancient demon Bala, there is no group of teenagers fighting an ancient demon in Afghanistan, there is no half-god half-demon who fights to save a little girl from a monster. What exists, however is a machine, populated by demons, feeding on the blood of people who they farm and keep them distracted and asleep with entertainment, relationships, drama and sustained pain. The tragedy of the nation we live in is that the motherfuckers who farm us have contempt even for their crops and also they are incompetent. I will still write stories because life needs hobbies which give meaning. But the pillow speaker I ordered from Amazon is just a product that I consume and there are people who don't even deserve to order that, deserve is the word. What is not consumption and absolutely real is the nature, the night sky and love. When shit hits the fan, your culture, your region, your relationships or for that matter everything can be weaponised against you and you can be left dispossessed and forsaken. Since I have seen it I know that everyone in this country except those who own this country is a spiritual orphan. One has to really see the lower nine-tenths of this country to realise that this country is more godless than countries who are atheist and it's a shame because there was God in every village in this country. As far as Purvanchal goes, they exploit you, torture you with that specific emotional torture flavour of Purvanchal and then the accuse you, put some false blame on you and then murder you and you die with that blame on your head. In this country this elaborate game can be played not because you are guilty or have done something but just because someone doesn't like your face or some attribute of yours. Afterall things like a wedding getting cancelled because of absence of white rasgulla is not something that used to happen in the 90s.