Pipe Dream

We live in times where it is hard to find what is real and what isn't. One of the reasons for this, and I realised when I became mature, is because the confusion acts a shield for the crimes ones in power do. I came in contact with the deep state of this nation in 2012-13, though the deep state of Purvanchal has been walking with me since quite a while before that possibly due to my grandfather's political background. I'm kind of man who believes in repentance and penance but I ended up seeing that the country we live in a responsible man or women is given the responsibility of the whole nation or the world just like the good worker in an office is given all the work in the office and is exploited while the assholes are busy in office politics. I ended up seeing absolute ruthlessness of the absolutely inferior. Good men and women when they are defiled, which is kind of normal in the nation we live in whether those men or women are aware of their defilement or not, they blame themselves and consider themselves damned and this is by design especially after knowing the inner workings of the deep structure of Purvanchal, people are blamed for their own rape and they internalise it, it is a process of victim blaming when in reality those who defile them are actually damned. It's a gang of individuals who are spiritually damned exerting control over people while refusing to believe they are damned, and this is why their approach towards life is purely materialistic. It is important to clarify that the concept of damnation is subjective, for example if I rape a woman or fuck a prostitute I would consider myself damned, similarly a raped woman due to social stigma in this country and especially if she belongs to middle class, would consider herself damned but meanwhile those who exercise absolute power over people might swallow a million soul of innocents and still they won't consider themselves damned because of their entitlement, because they think that they are entitled to lives of people, of dictating the personal choices of people. It's just mental gymnastics, but it also depends upon one's programming and conditioning the popular Hindi word for it is sanskar (संस्कार), the problem is that some individuals have predation and exploitation of people as their programming and conditioning and they consider it as their right. If the conditions are extreme sanskars don't last when faced with base instincts take a sexual example, if a superhot rich model whom you are very attracted to invites you to fuck them you would do it, only that you would, if you are sanskari, flog yourself after that. That's what sanskar is, enough decency to repent or do penance after you have crossed a personal line. Most of the times this decency runs in the family, which the deep structure of this nation composed of entitled rapists and predators is destroying in the younger generations. When I was, say eighteen I would have never thought that in this nation there would be people who think of rape as their right, I thought rape is a crime and it is punished by the law. I have no misconceptions anymore as I know that there is a big number of individuals in this country who think of rape as their right, it's just that they hide it really well and in this kind of reality young boys and girls feel guilty of adopting freethinking as way of thinking and feel guilty for something as medically normal as mastrubation. It's hard to say what is real and what is not and I started with making the assumption of considering all history as hogwash because if we don't know what is real in the times we live in, how can we know what was real in the past, the maximum written history and archeological evidences can be are guides to knowing the past. As far as present goes we are way past the stage of knowing what is real and what is not, we can only try to make sense of things by what gives us comfort and what doesn't or what causes fear in us and what causes happiness, knowing full well that it is not actually a guide to what is real but only a guide to how power wants us to live and if one is careful is and intelligent enough they can derive the truth a little by little through this Pavlovian psychology.