Silly Symphony

Due to my experiences, when the pop culture that I had consumed in my childhood and youth were presented to me as favour despite me paying for them when I consumed them by the deep state of Purvanchal and by existesion (and I hope so) this country, I realised that only true recreations in the world are nature and the universe through the night sky. It is because no one has hegemony on the nature and the night sky though it is tried but no trademark is going to stick on it. I still consume media though not very often except internet media because I have to be on my toes to keep an information edge for survival and for my writing. I ended up realising that all media that is so-called realistic, historical movies and biopics are bullshit. Only true form of entertainment, from my perspective and in my humble opinion, that remains now are nature and science documentaries, American professional wrestling and superhero and sometimes fantasy movies. When you cross a threshold that I totally inadvertently ended up crossing, or one can say was forced to cross, you realise that all reality shows, true crime documentaries and realism in cinema is as make-believe as the most absurd piece of entertainment that you have seen, and this statement is deeper than it sounds at first. After I was humiliated for watching shows like Batman: The Animated Series, Batman Beyond, Dexter's Laboratory and Courage The Cowardly Dog because I retroactively didn't deserve to watch those shows, I realised media not only programs you but in the shithole of a country we live in it is also treated as a gated privilege, especially Western media and this ended up telling me all about the individuals who rule over people in this country so although I didn't give up on media altogether, nature and night sky ended up becoming my primary mode of recreation. Since I passed my school reading and writing were my primary modes of recreation. I read Kafka when I was in college, I read Conan Doyle, I read classic literature and I blogged quite regularly and wrote poems. Turns out poems are as banned in this country as they were during the British times, it's just now it's directly God who bans them. I have been an avid comic book reader since my childhood and I have seen the indigenous comic book industry of this country collapsing in front of my eyes, when concealed sexual escapades and pornography are the main source of entertainment, who needs comics? And anyway who needs indigenous creativity and mythmaking when Japan pays for promoting Anime and America pays for promoting its comics, fantasies and superheroes. I sometimes feel that there had been some secret meeting post 2010 that I wasn't invited to. That I failed to get the memo of how to actually live in this nation because last I remember, and that last is very far back, in late 2000s, if a person wanted to be a comic book writer or a novelist, he could be it. I'm approaching an age where it doesn't look good to talk about pop culture and comic books, but I'm a fan and I also write short stories and blogs. I have lot of work of own but a person unwinds by doing things that he or she truly loves. For me these things are watching a good superhero movie, reading a good book or comic book, writing and yes the hegemony and the only hegemony and trademark free sources of pleasure and recreation, the nature and the night sky.

Contagion

You can have high ideas like honour, dignity and respect and compassion guiding your lives but if the background is composed of victim blaming, credit stealing, infinite exploitation of favour or illusion of favour given and fear of revenge on imagined slights, slights that weren't even there to begin with, offences that were searched to be taken because your very identity, something that you can't do anything about, is offensive to someone for reasons that are not even within you then your higher ideals can't do anything about it. Higher ideals are illusions which conceal a purely materialistic reality which projects higher ideals because people believing in higher ideals are easier to control though in case of internally collapsed nations and civilizations, like the one we live in, people with higher ideals are first to get enlightened. What follows is rituals of democracy but psychological states that corresponds to living in Mahishmati of Bhallaladeva. What remains then? Only family and if you are really pushing it, then community, though none will be of any use except giving you the privilege of giving you someone to love and get loved from. In the scenario where impunity rules with absolute power and is unreachable because it has attained untouchability, and this being the very reason for impunity, every thing ends up getting weaponised because this weaponisation of everything doesn't affect those who have achieved a permanent place where lesser mortals and there problems don't affect them except causing them irritation when they glance of them. So love gets weaponised, and it is the most potent thing to weaponise because it keeps the human resource alive. A person who has no one to love, if he or she gets to know the reality, will off themselves but love functions as an existential blackmail. The permanent place where problems of lesser mortals doesn't affect you has a policy of climbing up and cutting the rope, or getting in and closing the door. While that is okay, a healer and an apothecary who travels on his motorcycle to treat the wounded who have been wounded from the spears indiscriminately pushed in from the glass ceiling and imapaling the people is imapled by the same spear coming from the holes in the glass ceiling. The apothecary and healer is dead, and the zombie plague is spreading fast, people without the vaccine of culture and carefully curated culture are animals or, worse, demons. Culture ends up turning into rituals without substance and the without the substance in it, the vaccine doesn't work. The good news is that the zombie apocalypse won't travel above the glass ceiling, it would be contained by it and the ones above the glass ceiling can bring their popcorn buckets and watch World War Z in technicolor. 

Boba

Most people can't get to the place where they end up knowing the real meaning of freedom or whether they are actually free or not. As my personal realisations go, I ended up realising that the freedom and possibility of freedom have been permanently foreclosed. People had as much fun they could have in the 90s and those who failed to have fun even in the 90s can only depend on delusions to have fun. I am grateful that the reality presented it to me the way it presented it to me because any other way I would have been tripping on spirituality and theology and would have failed to see the real nature of the world and this country. The real nature of this country and what it rules it is of a rapist who sees your sexual curiousity and desire to be intimate with a person of your choice as a reason to rape you, because these very thing in its eyes demand to be disciplined, demand rape, demand shaming when it is just the sexual urges, animalistic drives, the desire for domination and humiliation of the person in front transforming into act of enforcing discipline. Things have essence, so does emotions, so do actions and so does phenomena. When the base of the emotion is domination and humiliation of others the resulting emotion, action or phenomenon will carry its essence and this very thing is the reason for deterioration of this nation. I have seen despotic tyranny personally, and the bad news is that it can be personalised, customised for a person for what rules this nation like Dr. Evil in Austin Powers creates its mini-mes. Imagine a rickshawala pulled from the streets and transformed into the American interpretation of Hitler. Efficiency in exploitation doesn't require skill if you have the tools to deliver fear. Whole countries can function on variations of desire, lust and fear and I end up seeing they actually do. All discussions end when the core of something itself is rape. All of this seems far-fetched for people who are in bubbles of their delusions but the bad news is that once the bubble pops and reality seeps in the place where the bubble was the absolute bottom line of this nation would become visible and for a person like me, bottom lines matter the most.

Buffet System

Maturity with it brings realisations. The realisation about the country we live in that strikes post maturation if one is observant is that the core of this nation operates on simple principles money and resources in form of an intimate exploitation and sex in form of rape and divide and rule. This however is an extrapolation of my experiences with Purvanchal deep state but as internet arrived I realised that it is applicable on the greater nation as well. The whole nation runs on an intimate existential blackmail and cold war Russia style intimate surveillance and British style divide and rule and exploitation of resources and unfortunately things like caste discrimination and rape are propagated right from the core. Purvanchal as I have personally experienced is basically a feudal-criminal dictatorship at the psychological plane where even people's intimate decisions are decided by incompetent rapists and forced on them and their lives with religion used as cover for rape and for victim blaming. The problem for a person like me arose, who likes to keep his relationships private, spend time with his family, do his work quietly and mind his own business is when I realised that peaceful existence in Purvanchal and this country is out of question and intimidation at an existential level along with existential blackmail is a norm. Since 2013 what I have witnessed is an absolute misuse of power at a level at which protest or retaliation is almost impossible and if one has to retaliate in his own country what is the point of the country. I have seen the bottom line so I write my experiences. The model of deep administration, unfortunately also the place where most people think God resides is pumping of relationships based thought complexes. I have seen the priorities of these motherfuckers who are essentially lower class criminal rapist employed by someone possibly the rich of this country as I didn't see the Government in the picture at all. My takeaway was that the government is just an arm of these motherfuckers doing symbolic public welfare which is practically absolutely useless to the majority while these motherfuckers exploit resources and people. I had totally no business in this shit and I am physician and I like minding my own business but when one sees complete collapse of the civilization of this land, of the cultures and the indigenous religion the least one could do is document the process. We live in a banana republic which is not even modest enough to not to take itself seriously like the USA in general. These motherfuckers aren't even brave enough to get their resources from other countries like the USA and exploit and torture their own people. It was baffling to know the real truth of this nation but if one retrospects one realises that it was always like this just that in the 90s there was a semblance of civilization and culture because the older generation existed and the mass media was in the hands of civil, cultured and civilized people and media including children's media was made with a good intent. The bullshit about the constitution and democracy can go on forever if each person lives in an individualised prison overseen by a panopticon populated by guards from Stanford Prison Experiment who are essentially rapists with genocidal intent. This country unfortunately doesn't even have a functioning intelligence establishment, whatever there is is the deep state panopticon. 

Wolf's Bane

I ended up realising that most important thing in life is not wasting any time intentionally and with that comes doing your best with whatever capacity you have at the time. The good thing about this is that if you do this you do not have any regrets in your life. The problem of the world we live in is that criminals are free to do whatever with themselves and others but a good man has to be correct at all times and if he is not the consequences for it are severe so it is important to do what one thinks is right at all times again so there are no regrets. I have had an extremely hard life, which wouldn't have been an issue if I didn't have any resources but I had and yet I had an extremely hard life which is in some ways worse than having a hard life with lack of resources. It's like having a buffet spread in front of you with your lips sewn shut and you see the buffet in front of you rotting. Destiny, or should I say the politics of the world, is cruel like that. I was a fan of pop culture like comics and cartoons when I was a kid. Turns out I had to pay for every comics that I read, every cartoon I watched, every cable television show I watched and every computer game and book I had read and again despite paying for them when I originally consumed them. It told me about transactional nature of our existence and how existence itself can be turned into exploitation. I started torrenting books, games and movies when I was in college. Torrenting was a popular method and arguably only method to access media back then. And I had to pay for that too. I had to pay for both the media of my childhood and college with suffering and it is then I realised that what is God is not actually God. It is something that exploits. The best part is that I hadn't done anything to be exploited and it is later I realised that one doesn't have to. My fault was that I was aware enough to notice when I am getting exploited and that is a reason enough to get exploited again. Awareness is dangerous but it also gives perspective. I started writing only when I realised that those who will not be exploited won't be in any case and those who will get exploited will get anyways and so I decided to write to bring awareness. The exploitation needs reason and when one becomes aware, identity is retrofitted on the exploitation and then it becomes persecution and the identity becomes the main component. I do not regret even one thing in my life except lazyness in doing homework in my childhood. Wherever and whenever I went off the rails I did because I thought it is a safe place to go off the rails, plus I haven't ever really thought ill of anyone in my life. Truth is there isn't a safe place or, as liberals call it, safe space in this world. Safe space is an illusion, the idea of safe space is a myth. I have seen the process of snowballing, how things get escalated. The thing to know about escalation is that only those escalate who can handle it either this or those who do not bother about the consequences of the escalation. When every pop culture and media you have ever consumed can be made to be a reason for discrimination, can be exploited back, can be made you to pay again and in suffering with infinite interest or is made to be a favour that was given out of kindness when you have paid for it with your own money, you realise that the entity you are dealing with is petty and inferior and you realise that only two recreations are the nature and the universe through the night sky. A good has to be right at all times, and that's the bane of choosing goodness. But what a good man can do is not waste any time and doing the best in his capacity and when the good man gets tired he could confide in little joys of life.

Escalation

People think things, I have thought things. When I was younger and had just passed my college I used to think a lot about emotional trauma but then I saw the Indian society with a clinical lens for a decade and realised that emotional trauma is the norm and that some suffer that trauma silently and some carry that trauma forward to others and then there is another breed that has no trauma and yet inflicts trauma on people and this breed is employed by the entity that rules this land. In the present times metacognition, logic and being updated about current affairs is extremely important because if you are to be sabotaged by the entity ruling this land it would do that by disarming you of knowledge, pumping delusions in you and intimidating you with the information edge that it has over you which is inevitable due to absolute and disproportionate edge in power dynamic it has. It's not a fight, it's just capriciousness of power that it has to show itself to you despite having absolute control over your life so much that it influences all of your thoughts and decisions and so if persecution ends up progressing it is all about your identity and your family history. Good people base their beliefs in logic and evidence, assholes form beliefs based on selfishness, narcissism, self-interest, survivalism and ideas of domination. I have seen individuals with beliefs that people who are fair complexioned, tall and strong are superior and this is India's answer to the Aryan race theory of Hitler and you would see this thread running all throughout the narrative of this nation unfortunately this narrative is actively believed and propagated from the core that runs this nation and so is casteism and rape. It's a country with a feudal core joined with a corporate core at the top. While the core remains intact, everything is kept deniable and when someone is persecuted it is brushed off as a singular case while the machinery of individalised tyranny and despotism keeps working. I ended up realising that what rules this nation employs lower class criminals as surveillance personnel in an informal manner with each of them having psychopathologies like megalomania, narcissism and psychopathy which the establishment cum providence weaponises against the good people. In short, for the majority of people in this country their fates are being written by rapist criminals, I'm not totally sure if it is true for whole of the nation but it is true for Purvanchal and possibly Bihar and Jharkhand. In the times we live in it is important to pay attention on one's thoughts and thought associations. To know what one thought is associated to. In simple terms what one thing reminds you of. Like when I think of children's magazines I get reminded of Campco Chocolate ad from my childhood printed on one of the magazines. The unfortunate part of the life today is that even one's thought associations might not be one's own. You can be made to hate a totally innocent person by associating him or her to something you hate or dislike. This is exactly what the British did, divide and rule, it's just done at a deeper level where one thinks God exists. Suffices to say when I noticed this i realised that there is nothing called God, at least not the kind I grew up believing in my childhood. In Indian contexts, God is just the rich, seths, zamindars and politicians and very unfortunately lower class criminals employed by them who consistently conspire against people with targic consequences which expresses them their fate or will of God. 

Fireside Smartass

You are sitting at a small taverna in Goa in a languid afternoon and you are discussing philosophy, literature and pop culture with friends. Or you have gone camping at a hill station and talk about horror stuff or conspiracies by the fireside or by the campfire. My goal is writing this kind of stuff though shit kept on becoming darker and darker and ultimately I decide that I'd also experiment with gonzo journalism. It excites me, things like gonzo journalism and guerilla filmmaking. Things like languid conversations are a luxury anymore. My exposure to transgressive fiction got me in the habit of saying the truth as it is and so I use the words like shit and fuck when they are required and present dark truths as it is especially when I'm writing for a mature audience. I have personally seen how life becomes when it is turned into a Stanford Prison Experiment or a Guantanamo. The thing to know is that you don't have to travel anywhere for your life to become a Guantanamo, a Stanford Prison Experiment, a penal colony or a gulag. The web of relationships you have around you can end up becoming the torture devices as well as the prison and pain can be directly and as potent and just a little less, but minus the cellular damage, as physical pain be delivered to you. People study psychology and subjects like psychology, I studied psychology from a therapeutic perspective but then I realised  that people study Pavlovian psychology, dark psychology and marketing psychology too but ten years back I used to believe that people who have real knowledge behave ethically though as I matured in my field I realised that it is not the case individuals in domains of psychology like Pavlovian psychology, dark psychology and marketing psychology go to any extent it doesn't matter how many people they harm, ethics don't stop them and it's all about domination which was at first unbelievable to my therapeutic psychology mind. I was at odds here, because I was against the current. The game is that the more delusional people are the more beneficial they are to the individuals who are in domains other than therapeutic psychology. It's easier to blackmail and coerce a delusional individual than it is to a person who is aware. It's easier to sell a product to a delusional individual than to a person who knows what he wants. I ended up realising that these individuals are first making people sick and then selling them medicines and treatment which again reduce years from lives of people which is equivalent to soft genocide or that they first make people lazy and then make them order from quick commerce. You speak or think about something and the next moment that thing is on your Instagram feed, this is extractive surveillance capitalism but there is nothing that can be done about it because all exits are closed by now. The base state is of slavery and anyone can devolve into the state of slavery due to whims or arbitrary laws. When laws and ethics are used arbitrarily or applied selectively to target people then it just becomes about perception management and not justice and after seeing the things happening I realised that justice was never in the picture ever it's about criminals having safety, it's easier and safer for white collared criminals to manipulate and apply laws and ethics to target people than to break the outright law thought the end result is same, desecration of justice. One matures and realises that eighty percent of things in a country like India happen like this just in the background. There is no smartness in this but unfortunately these motherfuckers think of them as smart by hatching conspiracies misusing rules, ethics and laws. The bottom line is that justice doesn't really exist in this country and everyone is on his or her own while gangs of rapists ruling this country and its regions rape bodies, minds and souls of good people of this country and making their sufferings look like fate.