Gonzo Turn

This blog was created so that I could talk about my interests and then it veered into the deep politics of India, well, because I had my experiences and then the content ended up becoming sensitive of course because the subject matter was sensitive. I had thought that I was done with deep politics of this land quite a few posts before but then I realised I have some more content and so I ended up writing a little more and while I think I'm done with deep politics of India I would probably end up writing few post here and there in the course of weblog. When I realised that I have made this blog into an adult blog due to subject matter I pondered on what I can write about that would justify its adult nature because since I have crossed the line of parental guidance there is no going back and I can't really go back to only keep writing about my interests and writing. I do write prose poetry on this blog and they end up, a lot of time, turning extreme. I think gonzo journalism, like Hunter S. Thompson or Vice would be a good thing to explore. I had a tumblr blog project called Lonewolf Project in the late 2000s and early 2010s and then I had a project called NoirMemoir where I used to filter my experiences through a noir lens. I will continue to write about writing and about my interests but gonzo journalism and exploring it seems to be a pretty interesting idea, it is a type of journalism and in a country where real journalists are either sellouts or doing a shitty job of their job it kind of seems like a useful thing to do. We live in a time of content and of course in time my writing will end up turning into content. The major thing is where would I find topics for this “content” and I'm keeping my fingers crossed for getting them if not regularly then frequently. One can have any opinion about this country but my personal opinion is that while there are so many beautiful things about this country this country is a rapey shithole at the base and for a person like me the base and base reality is extremely important. Although writing is redundant for me now and in general for those who are political aware, I still write because it is my hobby and a source of recreation and I hope that I ended up writing something worthwhile. 

Endurance

I would like to work on fiction but that's incredibly hard today. I still have plans thought I know that they won't be executed as good as I would want them. I have an idea what a human life can be reduced to and unfortunately by individuals totally undeserving of the powers they have and this is because people grow up thinking it is the deserving who have the power when it is not at all true. My life personally is great and I can't complain and above all I have been lucky enough to get acquainted with the base truth of the world and after that happens you just focus on living life a day at a time, a moment at a time. There are movies like Citizen Kane and American Beauty that deal with the futility of life, they are wrong because life is futile only because of the deep slavery that people live in and the ones who had written these possibly thorughly depressed and anhedonic despite having everything. The truth is that the slavery is artificial and even though things can get worse in future and the grip can tightened even more so much that the little freedom one can salvage becomes impossible to salvage, just the knowledge that the slavery is artificial is enough. Nature is absolutely beautiful and while I was able to salvage a piece of myself, a piece that is not enslaved, I realised how important nature is. One has to try to disconnect nature from culture and politics and see it as its own entity. Culture as I ended up realising is also politics and since I realised that my actual culture has been decimated there is nothing more left for me to grieve for and I realised as soon as direct slavery became possible culture, as a way of people's lives was discarded except as branding that is used to shame people and chain them to a place that was supposed to be their home but now it is just a penal colony. My culture has been corrupted at its base and only the superficial workings of it remain, the language, the stereotypes, the dogmas without the substance and as I ended up realising that it was all due to hatred and stereotypes. People who are not selfish can be manipulated on the basis of right and wrong, while the selfish would choose themselves no matter whether they are right or wrong, the selfless need to make amends for their wrongs even if they are unintentional. The good news is that we are at a point in evolution where they do not have to make amends. The evil have taken over and by evil I mean absolutely narcissitic, psychopathic evil and while this might be the case since forever, the grip wasn't as tight as it is now. Culture is redundant except for being a tool for humiliation ritual, nature still remains. It is all just an exercise into how stupid, greedy and incompetent individuals destroy everything and so fear is of no use. Life in any form will remain. Saplings will still grow. The thing to know is that happiness is the base state of a human being and being close to nature and being in touch with it is important. The Japanese have the concept of nature spirits, and while they may or may not be real the idea of them gives a respite from the artificiality the people live with. Man is the only animal that takes pleasure in pain of others. Other than them all animals only kill for food or mating rights. And if man hadn't been able to learn this since thousands of years, that is not going happen. The earth is beautiful and nature makes it so, and while the universe remains out of reach for those who have realised the slavery and extent of it even in the absolute absence of God faith heals and faith helps one to endure. When fiction becomes redundant to a fiction writer that is a stage where he must improvise something new, something that is more than just fiction. There is no magic coming to save anyone, just like there is no one coming to pay your hospital bills. 

Churan

The fact that I ended up knowing that this country as it was envisioned post independence has collapsed from within. Institutions persist but they are just for show. What really governs this country is impunity and it's not only in the hinterlands but everywhere and especially those who project class and superficial manners and even those who project benevolence, it's all just projection when the real truth is entitlement without qualification and impunity. The most baffling thing that I ended up realising was that the big people of this country aren't quite big enough and that the nation in actuality at the base is governed by an army of rapists whose primary qualification is being a rapist and only the secondary qualification is whatever they are supposed to do if at all they are qualified. I would surely hope that this is not the Brahminical patriarchy the feminists talk about because the arrangement, excuse my language, primarily gives blowjobs to Muslims, the rich and whites. I hesitate in calling it the arrangement of this nation because I have my doubts about the national nature of it, it might very well be a global arrangement but then the truth that I ended up seeing is that this very arrangement micromanages lives of people and families and controls the culture so it doesn't matter if it is global in nature if it is acting hyperlocally. I had been asleep with my career ambitions and my life goals up till 2019 and it is around 2019 that I woke up to the greater happenings of this country and I ended up realising that not only everything that I loved about this country has been destroyed, people, especially those who are not privileged, live in absolute micromanaged and individualised totalitarianism that social engineers your lives. Chances are, post the 90s, the people you came across, and relationships you made didn't happen organically, my issue however was not the totalitarianism it was the kind of individuals who have been given access to lives of people and families in this country, they are lower class criminal rapists with genocidal intent and it confirmed to me that whatever rules this nation in actuality doesn't bother about the well being of people, that people are just resource to it, just like a poultry farm. It is here my belief in the cultures of this country and its civilizational past collapsed. I ended up realsimg that the base reality of this country is rape and exploitation and that too mindless and so is the social engineering. Your life can be directed by Sooraj Barjatya or Rocco Siffredi depending on your privilege though the base reality over which all reality stands is again directed by Rocco Siffredi. I realised that the deep state of this country is essentially a criminal syndicate but the most tragic thing was realising that it is not even classy as the Yakuza or the Mafia, these motherfuckers are all over the place and doing anything thing to anyone which present to people as fate or God's will, while the government and national institutions keep doing performative formalities. Life of most people is just delaing with pumped fear in various forms and pumped lust variations of it, essentially Pavlovian psychology and the condition of lower class women is terrible. I had started to think that village people are worse than city people but then I came across this arrangement and I realised that this setup begins at villages and these motherfuckers are actively destroying village communities. It's not paranoia for me at this point because I have seen this arrangement and I realised that what awaits for people in this nation, especially for the majority, is totalitarian slavery while the drama of democracy keeps going on. 

Bharat Cabret

I consider myself a quite obedient and law-abiding person who is disinclined to rebellion except in the mosh pit of a metal concert or listening to Rage Against The Machine. My only political opinion is dignity for people but then I realised that we are living in times where people who listen to Rage Against The Machine can be persecuted just because they listen to Rage Against The Machine without any scope for nuance or context and this persecution is not even employed uniformly, some individuals are exempt from it while others bear the brunt for their preferences and I realised that this is the case because the real power in this land is informal and employs uncultured and uncouth criminals as surveillance. I have see shit for quite a while now and the rabbit hole goes too deep though it gets simplified only when one sees that at the base there are just two things sex and money and everything else culture, traditions religion, human relationships which were earlier real however imperfectly are now just noise above base truth of sex and money. I got to understand that it is not a BJP problem and this informal and yet omnipresent network of “governance” which is basically a bunch of rapists doing anything to anyone and making them bear the burden of their delusions which are totally not based on facts and this is when these motherfuckers have absolute access to facts so much so that the truth of, if not the world, then this country can be audited. I ended up seeing gargantuan levels of retardation in the past decade and I realised that the real actual model of governance of this country, which can be extended to rest of the world too, is a gang of rapists collaborating to be able to rape with impunity and prey on people. I know I sound like a communist but then when one realises that they can lose autonomy on their own body and mind what they say in response would actually sound communist. Unfortunately I ended up realising that the world has always been this way just that the new breed of those who control things especially in this country is incompetent and impune along with the older generation of controller habituated of extreme control not being able to deal with the societal changes that were inevitable due to corporate greed. I was a fiction writer and I realised that whatever media in this country is official including books is strictly controlled just not at a level that is visible and this is why the comics industry as well as fiction of this country except fiction of rich housewives is dead. And surprisingly comics from Marvel and DC and novels from foreign authors flourish. In some times it is going to be visible that there are only two classes in this country that is the master class and the slave class and the slave class would again be stratified into numerous strata and while the master class wouldn’t have any caste, for the slave class castes would be used for divide and rule purpose. It's “dogs and Indians not allowed” but these motherfuckers aren't even as kind as the British to put up proper boards so that people don’t go where they are not welcome in fact they have a habit of inviting people they don’t like and insulting them. A lot of things have changed in the past decade and a lot of work has been done. The Internet has been commercialised and weaponised and made into a propaganda machine actively peddling superstitions and fake news for the masses. Science and scientific method has lost its credibility. I know that it is not BJP. It is also BJP but not just BJP. The BJP Congress drama is just drama and I take it like that. What truly matters is money, family, knowledge, if you can sift it from the misinformation, nature and night sky. Higher education has lost it value except of course for social validation and ornamental purposes. 

High Castlemania

Between God, if He or She exists, and people, there exists a layer of impunity that presents itself as fate to most people. I don't know if this layer between God and people consists of mindless impunity in other countries too but I know it's true for India as I have spent a considerable amount of time with it. It is here the grand narrative of the civilization and past of this country built by decades of Congress propaganda collapsed and the symptoms of which are visible in how people of this ancient civilization behave on social media which was impossible to know before the internet. This layer of existence which consists of mindless impunity in this country at least, is almost omniscient and almost omnipotent and without this almost I wouldn't have survived. This layer has its regional variations and from where I'm originally from it believes in completely disarming people of knowledge, information and truth and depriving them of their needs while still baiting them in their deprived state so that they can be framed for a spectacle for the society to enjoy. This thing happens everywhere though just in a more refined manner. The whole thing thrives on consipiratorial metaphysical constructs and since it is India it is very much dependent on relationships, once you decide to delete relationships from the picture the seams start to become visible. I find it funny that motto of this country is Satyamev Jayate - truth always triumphs, when this country, as I was privileged, and not in a good way, to see in the past decade that it is solely based on lies which again are based on false manufactured facts and not even truth, I mean a good propaganda machine would at least have lies based on actual truth though it is not surprising because the whole setup is populated by moral and intellectual cretins who are essentially criminals. We know the American accounts of Nazi Germany, which may or may not be true, and it is important to know that there is an arrangement of individualised Nazi Germany and you can be transported in it not based on any facts but just false accusations. The game is simple, repeat a lie so consistently that it starts seeming true even to the one about whom that lie is, this is textbook gaslighting. What mediates between God and people in this country doesn't have a moral compass, conscience or empathy and it is where this arrangement which essentially deals with intelligence fails because empathy is absolutely essential for intelligence, especially the political kind. In the past decade I was able to see and realise that life of people in this country is composed of impunity and mindless manipulation which they end up believing as fate or their own fault because they are gaslighted and victim blamed into it. It means people suffer the consequences of things that they didn't even do and those who practice impunity not only do not have any consequences they are also rewarded for it. The best part is that this setup majorly judges people based on what they eat, wear and how they look and speak and how physically weak or strong they are which is exactly how a predator judges its prey and when the prey becomes aware of his predation then it is bombarded with false accusations and nitpicking within him or her. The best part is that this setup is purely politicosocioeconomic and this raises important questions like whether this country is actually independent and autonomous? Because if it is autonomous it is a shame because these kinds of things should only happen in a country if it is colonised. 

Rain Basera

Keeping healthy mentally is extremely important and one of the most important tool for keeping mentally healthy is a journal. Journals help you define your problems and and to find your voice. In uncertain political times it is very important to find your true voice. One other important habit is asking yourself questions regarding your problems and it is advisable to do it vocally. Problem definition and problem resolution or conflict definition and conflict resolution is extremely important. Needless conflicts takes up your mental energy  and stalls your understanding of the situation. Instead of some vague idea troubling you you need to define the problem to make it concrete and then resolve it in a manner you can do and same should be done with internal mental or psychological conflicts. The deep politics of this country thrives on creating conflicts within people especially related to people and relationship and induce things like survivors guilt and weapnisation of your own conscience against you to create guilt and guilt tripping you so that you keep wallowing in that guilt. It's all about thoughts and ideas and relationship so it is, in this country, advisable to keep only those relationships that are worth suffering for other than survival based transactional relationships. You get mental health issues in the country so that you can't recover, mental health is part of the politics which is unfortuantely biopolitical in nature and it controls what you eat, when you shit, whom you fuck and all the other things. Fate will take its course but you have to be mindful of it. If you have defined your problem or conflict and its resolution is not possible then stoic and dignified suffering remains the only answer, though the country we live in doesn't believe in dignified suffering you can however be stoic. In majortity of cases the more conscientious you are, the more you will suffer because the panopticon is aware of your conscience and in most cases the exploitation and weaponisation of one's conscience is direct because the panopticon exploits any weakness like illness, poverty, secrets, handicaps, lack of self-confidence or self-esteem or for that matter any weakness under the sun and conscience is a weakenss and it is mostly either hereditary or value based inculcated in one's childhood. What rules this land preys on people and feeds on their suffering and this predation turns into persecution once one becomes aware of the source of their suffering and then the floodgates of identity politics open about religion, caste, family history, that little thing you stole in your childhood or something else for that matter or framing or entrapment of a political nature like branding people communist or witch or some other stigmatised thing happens. The important thing is that your subconscious or unconscious is safe and only the things you want from your consciousness which at this point becomes totally sociopolitical enter your subconscious, the recommendation is that the conflicts should only enter as examples and not as internalised guilt. Plus you should build your sanctuary in your subconscious, your winter wonderland, your oasis and do not do it consciously and you don't even need to build it in your conscious mind, just keep giving yourself suggestions to do that and regularly until bliss becomes a background state no matter how much turmoil your conscious mind is in. It's advisable to choose a deity of your choice and depend on him or her, mine are Saraswati and Chamunda. 

Harvest

You can have your winter wonderland in your mind, but it is incredibly hard to do that if it is Mordor in your head. In 2013 I was of the opinion that I must expose my mind and body to elements, physical as well as mental and that was my way of making myself tough. I ended up realising that in the country we live in that is going to happen anyway and exposure to elements is never going to end, especially criminal and bureaucratic elements. The privileged live in their bubbles and one should be happy for the good ones among the privileged. I exposed myself to transgressive fiction only to realise that all reality is transgressive at the base and no one is exempt from the base reality except that they don't know it and the bubbles of delusions protect them from the transgressive reality they walk with. I had decided to shatter my delusions because my suffering was intense and I wanted to know the cause of my suffering and the cause of my suffering was so cheap, politics and weaponisation of lower class against people better than them by the actual upper class, that it baffled my mind and so the grand narratives of suffering that I had in my mind and my belief in a cosmic providence shatterred. What rules this nation not only hoards beauty for itself but also deletes beauty from the lower classes of this country and that means for having something else than Morder, something beautiful like a winter wonderland you'd need to have an unwritten license. When the truth arrives each village of this country, each district and each commissionary starts to behave like a dictatorial, totalitatrian and extractive feudal kingdom with it's own consitution which the people who are extracted don't know. What is extracted? Data and vibes. It was unbelievable at first but then I realised harvesting of data is a business of its own and then I realised how much the  people can be tortured for the simplest of things and then I saw the schadenfreuede from misery and suffering of people is a currency of its own and is a source of sadistic pleasure and something what rules this land feeds on. After seeing the grand narratives of karma, religion and sin collapse what remained was extremely simplified though suffering can still arrive wearing the cloak of sin and karma but it is not authentic it's just torture for some petty reason like baseless hate crime or for sadistic pleasure or entertainment while the victim is victim blamed for their suffering being their own fault. Those who deliver karma and justice or actually torture in form of karma and justice which anyway is not delivered to actual sinners and criminals as they thrive. It's pure exploitation but there is nothing that can be done about it except for knowing that suffering is not one's own fault.