Boiler Room

The deepest political insight for me in this nation was when I realised that a person's autonomy can be hijacked in a tier-4 town which doesn't even have proper roads or medical facilities. Social media is full of bullshit with people acting out their deprivations and insecurities which a discerning eye that knows that it is all engineered, but then it has some genuinely funny moments and a lot of people are able to display their talents and share their experiences too. The way this country this country is in actuality it would be curious to see how the lives of the influencers turns out to be in future. It is essentially selling soul to the devil and since I have witnessed behind the curtain I know that it actually is selling soul to the devil. I have this personal lore about devil, he was an angel and he was told to prostrate before a human when God created him and when he refused to prostrate and so God banished him from heaven. I read this story and I thought about it, and I realised that while I would have prostrated because I am an obedient person I understand when someone doesn't want to bow down to a creature inferior to him and also what does it tell about God in the story? While we talk about selling soul to the devil, one who has truly seen the shit hit the fan in his life ends up knowing that what actually runs the world and specially this country is both objectively and subjectively way worse than the actual devil. You become famous, you sell your soul and then you start consuming souls to stay afloat because if you don't you will end up getting ruin and this is the start of the predation. Predatory totalitarianism is when such individuals who are in habit of consuming souls to stay afloat gain power and are jealous of people who have a modest but happy life made from their own hardwork and thus predation starts. Concept of karma, of what you do comes back is objectively false especially in an exploitative country that only doesn't seem exploitative because of delusions pumped into the minds of people, but the concept of karma only works because if you end up doing something that is against your conscience you can be exploited based on that and it can be termed as karma which is essentially a form of victim blaming and is rampant in the Eastern Uttar Pradesh, Bihar and Jharkhand. Post the internet revolution, those who are really intelligent if they were delusional at all about this nation and the myth of meritocracy they have realised what this country actually is, and from what I have personally experienced I realise that things are not going to get better for the majority because people are ruled by individuals who are not only spoilt, entitled and incompetent but also criminally insane who know what they are doing the apt expression would be entitled psychopaths and this is not an overstatement. 

High Tea

Life is too short to not to follow your interests. The sentence I just said has immense gravity behind it which could only be appreciated by people who been through shit. People can have any interest, like stamp collection, watching movies, travel, and these interests become zero for people who have experienced institutional gatekeeping. Things which are gatekept become redundant for people with self-respect and in my case I realised that the circle of gatekeeping keeps tightening as you keep discarding your interests. In 2013 it started with fancy food items, hollywood movies, Western music, books and comic books and then I kept eliminating interests from my life till only my work and academics remained and then it ended up becoming about my work and academics, about gatekeeping me from my own vocation and skills. The noose kept tightening until I realised that it is not about books, movies, music and food, it's about me. Someone deciding that I don't deserve these things. Like how I don't deserve to be on particular social media, or don't deserve to eat particular food items, or listen to a particular kind of music or watch western movies. This might seem a tier-4 approach and can be traced to my hometown but the truth is that this whole country is like this. This whole country is tier-4. I was of the mindset back in the day that if you have money you can spend it anyway you like until by late 2010s I realised that it comes with terms and conditions and it is then I ended up realising why lower class people, are not seen eating Domino's pizza despite the affordable offerings by the company. It is individuals seated at comfortable positions deciding who deserves what and unfortunately it is these individuals who decide who deserves to breathe or not too. I wanted to write a space opera, but do I deserve to write a space opera or for that matter the novel that I wanted to write in 2011? I'm pretty fortunate that things have been pretty direct with me so I could know the source from where these things are happening. I do things for fun. I go to Capmania because I love Himesh and want to have fun not for telling others that I went to Capmania. I have always been a work hard party hard kind of person. It's about the experience, you go to Rajasthan and pay the palace turned hotel because you want to experience the royalty for a few days, not because you want to become a king, though the way nation has expressed itself to me I have no doubts that there would be millions who want to be kings despite not possessing even a single quality that a king should have. I have always been an APJ Abdul Kalam kind of a person: my work, a small manageable home and a lot of books and in addition a cheap toyota hatchback and once six months a comic con or musical concert. Though I had to give this up when I realised that in the country we live in people are intentionally, and the word is intentionally, gatekept from their very basic needs. I wonder where this country is going to go from here and it will be curious to see what happens in the next decade. The only true jobs are farming and business, and then for the blue collar people there are trades, carpentry, electrical work and plumbing and such. It just breaks my heart that even the food delivery guys must think there is a future ahead of them when the truth is that the future is here and this is exactly what it looks like.

Unreal Star Studded Sky

You kind of grow up when you end up seeing behind the curtain. When I was younger I used to pay attention to the simulation theory but now I don't. The universe even if it is a simulation or a hologram, the suffering is real. Though mid-30s I ended to realising that the world is in fact a simulation but an economic one. Strip all things, and I'm talking about the world not life or universe, and only money remains and unfortunately the world impacts the life too and as I was lucky enough to know it, a hundred percent. Everything except air is acquired through money and I say this because till my late 20s money wasn't a consideration in my life, it was a simple idea that you work and you earn money and you do the spending and take care of your family through it. It is when I realised that the flow of finances for totally self-sufficient, self-dependent and capable people can be interrupted and blocked and their expenses can be increased leading them to poverty. I ended up realising that the deep state is what is actually God and I also realised that there are no moral or legal consideration in this setup. When a law-abiding and a God-fearing person sees this arrangement he becomes absolutely free, like I did. The rich basically play financial tennis as the people in the lower classes are governed by whimsical criminals each one of them a potential genocidal rapist with the knowledge of infinity through rampant and yet very intimate exploitation. The executive branch of the deep state of this country is composed of lower class criminals with each one of them being what the American idea of Hitler is and for the lower classes and the dispossessed, they are governed by individuals who are not unlike the criminals shown in Slumdog Millionaire, the ones who scoop eyes of children to make them beg on the streets. Given the diversity this country has it was odd for me to believe the simplicity with which it is governed at the base if we remove the complexities of religion and social conventions which as I ultimately ended up realising are just more things to exploit people for. I experienced Purvanchal deep state in 2016, though I ended up retrospecting and I realised that that it was walking with me throughout the country, when I went to college, and later possibly due to my grandfather's political background. I was on social media which was social networking in 2012, and it is later I realised that individuals who were on social media in 2012 were there for the sole reason that they could afford smartphones and computers to access the internet which is not rocket science unless you are a person who thought that things happening in this country are organic in nature, internet revolution in this country was still 4 years away and arrived in 2016. These motherfuckers annihilated my culture and as I ended up witnessing later, my civilization and the indigenous religion and whatever you see now is just a hyperreality. I ended up realising these motherfuckers, if you bypass the tyranny are grossly incompetent and I realised that the very cultural machine of my region, Purvanchal, is corrupt and composed solely of rape and there is no recovery for my region anymore. 

Flip and Switch

I personally think that a particular job of this blog is done. It has a body of literature that deals with the deep state and deep politics of India and I have written everything that I could write. It started as a regular blog and then it became a sensitive content blog and now it can't get back to a regular blog so I would have to invent a genre that is me, and what I want to talk about and also a bit of transgressive to justify its sensitive content nature. My writing in anyway, unless I am writing at a particular place that doesn't require it, contains a token amount of transgressive from the times when I was interested in transgressive fiction and I utilise it to state the reality as it is. Society has extremes, and what is considered transgressive is normal for a lot of people both in terms of infliction and suffering. I think I would continue to deal with the deep politics of India on this blog but it won't be regularly I have decided and written all that I could have and one has to always remember that things are not going to change because they are cyclical and the cycle is not natural, it's controlled. What should I write about now when I already have a journal and a blog for my interests? This is the major question and it would take me some time to invent the exact genre and to decide the things that I want to talk about through that genre. My writing especially since I started writing about the deep politics of India on this blog borders on gonzo journalism but I think I would have to work on something better and hope I am able to do it. 

Namaste

As time passes, I increasingly believe that writing is redundant in today's times and yet I write because I have seen things and I want to leave a record of them. We are often told that Namaste stands for I bow down to the God within you but what I have seen is that there is in fact no God in this country, not even a trace of it. Just a delusion a consistent delusion that thrives on personal fears and insecurities. Only faith remains and psychologically speaking, that's enough. What I have seen is extremes of entitlement, incompetence and retardation, each rending towards infinity. It's essentially a jungleraj beneath the calm exterior, well as calm as this country could be, and unfortunately it's not even aesthetically pleasing. One thing that I ended up realising was that people are at all times, potentially connected to the guy they see ogling at women and masturbating and the rapist or the worst kind of human beings. I have had my experiences and I came to the conclusion that it is in fact evil that rules world and while Nietzsche could have seen Beyond Good and Evil he couldn't have been able to see beyond this one. There was a particular narrative that was going on in the popular discourse and popular culture in this country, it had started elsewhere way before, that there are shades grey in people something between good and evil the news is that there isn't, shades of grey is just good people doing socially frowned upon things or the things they do when pushed to the edge of society or if we considers people's personal enmities when they are evil to specific people which in their opinion might be retribution. The real evil is those who enjoy the pain of good people, those who feed on the misery and helplessness of the helpless and those who have seen no deprivation and only excesses and yet enjoy within their souls deprivation and suffering of people. There are good people who do not enjoy suffering even of their enemies and in today's times in this land such people are being harmed by individuals who do sadism for its sake just at a deeper level where eyes can't see. I am a non-violent person but believe in authorised violence, unfortunately I ended up realising in the past decade that those who authorise violence are not only not worthy but also incompetent. I can forgive my enemies but I personally enjoy suffering of a specific breed of individuals, those who have never seen deprivation, only excesses and yet deprive and torture totally helpless and dispossessed, the most unfortunate thing is that the deep state of this country is a machine composed of such kind of individuals and the power dynamic is absolute. What can be done however, and what I did, is humiliating them so that there are no pretenses and delusions of their humanity in their minds. The more the inferiority, fear, weakness more the cruelty and this is by design, at least I hope so, that inferior individuals are given access and control of good people they are jealous of as the end goal is cruelty, inflicting maximum pain and helplessness. It is only after I witnessed the torture of bodies, minds and souls of sick and handicapped that I reached my conclusion. In this country and since early 2000s you don't bow down to the God in the other person when who do a Namaste, you vow down to the demon in them. Good people still exists but carrying God within you has become extremely difficult and the way things look would become impossible in sometime. 

Fruitfly in The Grid

What is there to talk about? One asks self this question. There are quite a few things like literature, science, philosophy, art, music, the nature, the universe, quite a few things. Then another question arrives, what remains to talk about when one's autonomy is sabotaged? Autonomy over one's self is the most basic freedom that is there and when that is not there nothing remains and that it can be sabotaged, makes everything else redundant. What remains then? Only survival. Air, water, and what is bought from money, food, clothing, shelter and the nature if it is available and not even the universe or space but only the night sky. Culture and society become redundant because they are made of people and so are left redundant the country and the world when the autonomy of the self erodes. Is there a way to salvage autonomy, kind of yes but not completely but the way technology is evolving soon it might not be salvaged at all. It would be like that episode of Black Mirror, USS Callister, where a guy is trapped in a digital universe a sort of infinity with no way to contact the outside world only that infinite universe would be one's own consciousness and there would be a feeling of constant suffocation of walls closing in despite being alone in the vast infinite space of one's own consciousness with no one in the picture. That brings us to brains grown in labs, and the kind of consciousness they experience, they can be connected to the game Doom and they can think of themselves as a Space Marine killing demons. The fruit flys brain mapped and put in a simulation thinks of itself as a real fruitfly and behaves like it. A human brain does the same just that the simulation is socio-political with religion and culture aiding it. Matrix was right in a lot of things but wrong in two, the machines are not literal machines but a machine of humans, an organic socio-political machine that farms (and farming is a wrong word because farming doesn't involve hatred or contempt) people for, unlike electricity as shown in The Matrix, for data and pleasure and the sadism involved is directly proportional to the differential in the power dynamic. What is there to talk about? Survival of course. Air, water and things that require money, like food, clothing and shelter and then come the nature, the night sky and literature, science, philosophy, art and music. There are no frontiers waiting in space for common people because the last frontier of human dignity, and majority doesn't know this, the autonomy, has been colonized. 

Grand Master Robo

I learnt it the hard way but ultimately ended up with absolute simplification of my life. Family, money, knowledge and hobbies and interests. Being able to simplify your life is a privilege. Imagine you are lower class, you simplify your life mostly because you have no other choice to family and money, knowledge and education evades you and you are too hand to mouth to have hobbies and interests, the story then doesn't end at simplification of life because you earn money and the local policeman asks for his cut and then arrives the local extortion gang with time you realise that the policeman and the extortion gang are part of the same syndicate. In the 90s education was an escape from misery, now it isn't, now it is dependent on the whims of the syndicate and can be based on any attribute of yours and is not dependent on your hardwork and skills, the main attribute can end up being your caste or your looks. You read philosophers, you read literature but philosophy and literature is not going to fill the stomach of your family and you realise that not only the syndicate exercises hegemony on the means to fill the stomachs of your family, not only it is hoarding all the beauty for itself but it is also deleting beauty from the lives of people to make them dispossessed. With time you realise that you are living in a country of orphans, political, spiritual orphans and all the relationships you think you have are just in your mind because they can be deleted by the syndicate at will. Survival here depends on where you put your energy, you earn money, get extorted and come home and beat your wife and children that's option one, you earn money get extorted and realise that the rickshawala's son becoming an IAS is a lie, a prop, it's not even an exception, it's actually a prop and so you come home kiss your wife, switch on the desert cooler, open the old trunk in which you have kept old comics from the times when Indian railway bogies, used to turn into communities except of ofcourse the ones who poisoned people and took their belongings, and you read those comics to your little children and show them the images in the comics. You also tell them this is where the attention should be, in being superheroes, not for society, not for the nation, because they don't exist but for the family. There is no Fauladi Singh or Super Commando Dhruv coming to save the day you have to become your own Fauladi Singh to take the pain and your own Super Commando Dhruv to go through the Hell Week every week until you die.