Sacrifice....

All of his fellow soldiers were dead. He looked around and observed carefully. Trees were moving along with the wind. He was feeling strange walking alone in an unknown area but there were no other options.

He was somewhere in the punjab province of Pakistan. He and his fellow men were dropped there to destroy an important enemy base. They were successful in the mission but among all of his fellow men he was the only one who was successful in saving his life. He knew that he has to move from there before enemy reinforcements or Indian Jets arrive because both can be fatal.

He looked at his watch. 0200 hours. Indian jets roared in the sky. It was time for final showdown. He was outside the perimeter of the area to be bombed as it was briefed. He looked the light flashes and smoke from far away, feeling relieved about the mission.

He looked at his watch again. 0245 hours. He had reached the spot where he was to be picked up. He waited there for long but there were no signs of any help. The scheduled chopper did not arrive. He understood that either something has gone terribly wrong or he has been abandoned. In any case he was now on his own in this unknown area.

This mission was classified and they had an idea that it was going to be a suicidal one too. He had talked this to his mates just before the drop. Picking up from an enemy area just after a strike and that too air strike was not a very practical plan.

‘I knew that’, he mumbled to himself. ‘They aren’t going to come. The mission was suicidal indeed.’

If the mission was suicidal then he was the only one who failed in it.

0400 hours. It is winter and he is still hiding at the spot. With each minute approaching the morning his hope was diminishing.

‘The rays of hope are inversely proportional to the rays of light...huh’. Hiding in the bushes he joked to himself. ‘Shit... it’s not funny’, and definitely it was not. With this thought despair struck him like lightening. He was sure by now that he was stranded.

‘So what am I going to do?’, He started thinking. The whole world reeled in his mind. His family, his friends, his school, the National Defense Academy, his NSG training days, every event played like recap of a daily soap opera.

‘This is bad.’ He thought to himself. ‘Why they lied?’, But he was the only one alive to think upon this question.

His mind was racing. Reaching the base on foot was an impossible option. Only options he had were either killing self or getting captured or killed by the enemy. After much reflection he selected the former possibility. 

He took a breath and fixed the nozzle of his rifle below his chin and pulled the trigger. Clack! The AK didn't fire. AK never fails. His mind raced. There was a purpose to this.

After fifteen years.... 

A man in Karachi prison was cutting stones. The jailer came. 

"783 you are lucky. We have chosen you for exchange", the jailer said to him.

The man showed no expression as if it does not matter to him. But he had a purpose and this exchange was absolutely necessary for the purpose he had. 

Next morning 15 war prisoners were released on both sides and this was the first step.

Five years later, he had won the MLA elections. Standing in a parliament he was thinking how much he had waited for this day. He thanked the almighty for making it possible. A member of parliament has the power to change the nation and he definitely will do this.

The session started. The members were discussing over the president's rule over some naxal affected state. It was his turn to speak.

"Honourable Speaker and respected members of parliament. India as a country needs a reform in everything but most importantly it needs reform in our political skeleton. I not only support president's rule over these states but over the nation until our system is reformed and I will make sure today that this happens."

After his speech he opened his bag. After five minutes president's rule was declared all over the country. The explosion had killed all the members of parliament in the hall.

The pieces of his body were scattered all over the hall and with one of those indistinguishable pieces there was a badge lying. A red badge with swords and wings. A red badge with the word 'BALIDAAN' imprinted on it.

The Pinfall....

He sat there patiently waiting for someone to come at the seat next to him. His mind was torn apart between right and wrong. How normal he was just a year ago. Everything was so normal, so perfect.

Just a year ago he was a normal teenager with all the good and bad qualities of a normal teenager. He had an ambition in life, a goal in life but now nothing, no ambition, no goal not even a desire to live. Now his life was like a dark endless pit and with each passing day he felt like he was going deeper into the endlessness.

The cinema theater started to fill gradually. He was busy in his thoughts, still waiting for someone who will sit beside him and become a victim. He knew he was wrong but this was the only way to take revenge with this cruel world. He had read about a gang which does it, in the newspapers and now here he was doing the same thing. He tried to asses himself for a sense of guilt but there was none. He was sure that what he was doing was right. Not ethically, not legally but it was right. It was right in a very selfish way. He wanted to take revenge. The revenge of the humiliation he had suffered. The pain he had gone through. And that’s why it was right.

He never knew that an accident can change his life so much. Just after the accident when the doctor told him that he could have died from blood loss. He just couldn’t thank God much for saving his life. Within 3 months he was perfectly normal but the blood test which was done for the health certificate just before he was leaving for Russia for his higher studies changed everything.

These kinds of talks spread like fire. People would see him in a way that he couldn’t bear. The look on their faces would show disgust, hatred and what not except love and acceptance. ‘For God’s sake I am a good guy’, He thought. But people can’t understand. They can’t understand that it was the blood which was given to him at the time of the accident which was responsible for it and not anything else.

He knew that he would die. A dying person needs love and acceptance he was left alone without love. Even his family members avoided contact with him and this internal agony made him the man he is today. A man, who had nothing to lose.

Just 15 days ago he read about the gang and he at once decided to do it. There was no other better way to take revenge with the world then making them suffer what we suffer, he thought. The gang he read about used to place pins infected with HIV in public places. They would pace such infected pins in seats of cinema theatres, buses, railway waiting rooms and where not. They wanted to convert  the world to their own kind.

He looked at the pin which was perfectly placed in the chair. It would easily penetrate the skin of the person sitting on that chair. First he had decided that he would plant the pin and move away but then he decided against it. He wanted to feel the pleasure that sadistic pleasure of getting some one infected.

The movie was about to start but the seat next to him was still empty.


He grabbed a handful of popcorn and started munching. The couple sitting behind him was busy in their private conversation. He felt an intense desire to pick up the pin and prick both of them but then he looked at the muscles of the guy and stopped himself.

The dance sequence had started. A scantily clad model was dancing an item number. He felt sick. And just then a family entered the cinema hall.  It was small happy family with a father, a mother and a cute little daughter. The girl was about seven years old he guessed, with pink ribbons in her hair and a cream frilled frock. She was jumping and climbing stairs of the theatre. He looked at her closely and saw the innocence on her face. She was ignorant of the danger she was about to get in.

He felt as if he was just out of a dream. The little girl was near to the seat on his side. The seat he had reserved for giving someone a gift of AIDS. As the girl came nearer with a quick reflex he pushed the little girl away from the seat. The little girl fell down and started crying.  Her father came running and the people started looking at him. And just then the guy cozying with his girlfriend at his back pointed his finger to the pin in the seat.

“See there is a pin. He is a member of the pin gang”, the guy with the girlfriend shouted.

“I saw him looking at the seat many times, he could have removed the pin, I am sure he is the guy from the pin gang”, the girlfriend also supported his boyfriend.

He did not respond to any of the accusations and the noises became indistinguishable. Within no time the crowd became a mob and started beating him. He was feeling pain in every part of his body but his mind was in trance. He was feeling like Christ.

The theatre owner called the police. The police and the paramedics arrived at the scene and dispersed the mob. The paramedics checked him and began the CPR.

The little girl was watching standing on one side holding the finger of her father. The scene to her looked like a wrestling match. The paramedic was trying to revive him…”One”…, “two”…, “three”…. It was a wrestling match indeed. A match where the paramedic was the referee and death won by pin-fall….”One”…., “two”…, and “three”.

The fourth war.....

He located his enemy and 'whoosh'....'whack'. The projectile hit on the enemies head. The soul has departed from the body of the enemy with that hit.

He picked up the projectile again and  then checked out the ammunition in his gunny bag.

"1..2..5...8...10.. hmm".

He then saw another enemy walking by. Tracking him he went just behind him.

'Whoosh'....''whack'...the enemy suffered same fate as his comrade.

 Ammunition was scarce at this place and that is why Captain D'costa hated fighting in deserts. He would have loved to fight on Himalayas.

In 2212 AD the world was now divided into two parts. One belonging to believers and one the other non-believers.

Captain D'costa was a believer. His great grandfather had fought in the third world war and that time the world was divided into fragments called countries. Countries don't exist now, after the third world war the world split into two parts, believers and non-believers.

Believers were those who believed in supreme power God or whatever they called it. Non- Believers believed in themselves.

Captain D'costa started searching the body of his just slain enemy but he got nothing except a diary.

He opened the diary and on the first page there was a quote-

"I do not know with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones." - Albert Einstein.


D'costa picked up the stone again and kept it in his gunny bag.


As he was about to turn.


'Stack'..., Somebody hit him with a stick from behind.


After the end of the war and the victory of believers he was declared a martyr and his statue was erected with a stick in hand and gunny bag of stones on shoulders.

The boy in blue sneakers....

"No.. that can't be right.", Andy expressed his surprise.

"You don't need to believe me, see for your self..truth is a truth.", Satya spoke.

"Vihan can do this?', I still don't believe it.

"Hm", Satya didn't speak anything further.

Vihan was famous in the park and he had those blue sneakers that too since childhood. He wore them to school, parties, functions, everywhere. Every year the same shoes since his 3rd class, only thing that changed since then was the size of the shoes. 

Nothing could part him from his blue sneakers the best he wore ere a pair of shining ones from Puma during school. Even the principal of the school was fed up with him. It seemed like those shoes were glued to his feet. He was the only one during his engineering that wore blue shoes and for worse he even went to his job interview wearing those. Obviously as you can guess he did not get the job.

"You mean he left those freakin sneakers for Tripti"... Andy spoke again after moment of silence.

"What should I do now... record a video of him?", Satya got irritated.

"what the fish man!", Andy was disappointed and even he did not knew why.

"I don't like formal shoes on him, that guy is losing his individuality", Satya spoke again.

4 weeks later....

Andy was sitting in his verandah. 

"Andy!!! I saw Vihan in blue sneakers again.", Satya shouted running towards him.

"Really..??? Stop panting like a dog and rest your bum on the chair.", Andy spoke pointing to the cane chair.

"I saw him in the market wearing brand new blue nikes",Satya grinned ear to ear.

"Oh man... I know what it means"..Andy spoke sighing.

"Hm... He was the coolest guy man.... never paid attention on any girl and see what happened to him".,

"I knew Tripti was a bitch... I knew that..." And spoke further..

"How can one dump a guy like Vihan man!".. Satya spoke looking genuinely sad...

"That's what happens when you lose your individuality". Andy said thinking...

"So our hero is back again.", He added further.

Just then they saw  a girl walking on the road in front of the house. They forgot about Vihan in an instant and busied themselves watching her.

"Wow...", She walks nice. Wish I could see her face", satya said watching.

They scanned her up to down and found her wearing blue sneakers....

"damn that reminds me of pain of our dearest friend', Andy said, "Anyways cut the crap I need to see her face let me try once', Andy spoke smiling like an naughty child.

"WheeewwwWheeeeww..." , Andy whistled his lungs out.

The girl stopped and turned,  their eyes poopped out in surprise.The girl in blue sneakers was none other that Tripti.

Teri nawazish….

Song written by me for Synapse...the band..

Teri nawazish….

Puri na hone denge hum…

Kismet ki ye saazish..

Gar rahe…teri nawazish..

Tune di hamko jo daanish…

Chamkenge ban ke aatish…

Teri nawazish….

Puri na hone denge hum…

Kismet ki ye saazish..

Gar rahe…teri nawazish..

Kismat ne ki laakh koshish…

Per hone na di tune koi kami….

Tere pyar ka tha ye asar…

Saath mere ye saari zamee…

Har din sajda karta main….

Aage badhta rehta mein…

Saath le ke sang……………………..

Teri nawazish….

Puri na hone denge hum…
Kismet ki ye saazish..

Gar rahe…teri nawazish..

Duur kar in taro ki ye gardish….

Hai meri guzaarish…..

Teri nawazish….

Puri na hone denge hum…

Kismet ki ye saazish..

Gar rahe…teri nawazish..

Fitarat ne ki laakh koshish..

Per diya tune rasta sahi…

Bhatka kitni baari yun….

Per manzil mujhko milti rahi….

Har din tujhko poojun main…

Khud hi khud mein dhoodhun main…

Saath le ke sang………………………..

Teri nawazish….

Puri na hone denge hum…

Kismet ki ye saazish..

Gar rahe…teri nawazish..

यूँ न होता तो....

चीड के वृक्षों के बीच बैठा आग जला के सोचता कुछ वह,

सामान से लदी थी उसकी मोटरसाईकिल  और बगल में लगा उसका तम्बू,

थोड़े आराम के बाद फिर वह स्वीकारेगा पहाड़ो का न्यौता.

तब तक आग पर भूनते हुए आलू और गरम करते दलिया सोचता, 

यूँ न होता तो क्या होता.

उसकी आग से उठता धुआं बढ़ा पहाड़ों की तरफ,

उनकी धुंध में फिर  जा के मिलेगा ये धुआं,

इस  सोच में वह खुद को डुबोता,

कैसे मिल जाता है धुंए को अपना रास्ता, 

यूँ न होता तो क्या होता.

तापता आग विचारता फिर वह कुछ स्वयं पर,  

भूत की धुंध में मिलता वर्तमान का धुआं,

धुंए ने धुंध को काटा और बैठा वह रोता, 

याद करता भूत और बडबडाता,

यूँ न होता तो क्या होता.

भूत की छटती धुंध के साथ  उजला होता भविष्य,

आँखों से गिरते अश्रु धुलते भविष्य की कालिख.

देखा उसने तम्बू की ओर पर अब वह कैसे सोता,

उठ खड़ा हुआ वह वह सामान बांधता मुस्कराता सोचता,

यूँ न होता तो ये न होता.