Friday, 4 March 2011

A sense of humor.........

People used to tell me that I have a great sense of humor once. People do tell me this sometimes now also when I am in state of hypomania. Man had a tail once, and the appendix also used to function once to digest cellulose when we used to eat cellulose content like cows do. I had a sense of humor once and one of the greatest, it has become like an appendix not yet a tail though.

I think serious man. People still consider me funny. I am some serious fun for them I guess. Well its just my belief that I am something great something like Plato and Socrates, Its a fucking delusion. But those guys were also humans and had the same brains(morphologically, anatomically, physiologically, chemically and all that)inside their brain vault. Am I funny, am I? I mean It's just something like Travis Bickle from the Taxidriver, "you talkin to me?". I am funny? Oh yeah I am. I have the most serious sense of humor if you have got some bloody intellect. I mean if you haven't got enough brain cells in your brain, I aint funny and that's totally cool with me because I don't want to be funny.

Now since I am doing some serious homoeopathy in some serious college sense of humor is up in my arse. I have become a serious phiosopher reading homeopathic philosophy from H.A. Roberts, Stuart Close and great J.T. kent. Reading psycho analytical works of freud and busy coping up with some serious personal shit in my college. I mean when the study is up in your arse and you can't cope with it and atmosphere the sense of humor you tend to have ascends to your portal circulation from your arse and gives you shocks at unexpected times. You can't control it can you, who cares? and who wants to be called funny? That word is made for clowns.

Thursday, 3 March 2011

locating me in a maze and everywhere i've been...

Sometimes I feel that my mind is a kind of maze. I feel lost within myself. The one thing I have been desperately looking forward to is clarity of mind. I mean my life has not been that simple still one of my professors quoted me, "things are simple, don't make it complex." I agree to that.

Now after all these hardships I believe that I am attaining clarity of thinking process. Lots of knowledge can screw you, that kind of happened with me.

I behave differently at different times though that's common for a human but still I feel I should be more in control of myself. The association of different mes is important.

I changed various places. Nagina was beauty. Too many good memories and some very bad too. But thats what life is. I still remember my life in Nagina 'the handicraft city' it was very cool, I mean one of the coolest life I ever had.

Then in Ghazipur I was comfortable, at home but not under my own skin, I will say Ghazipur is my hometown and I love my hometown, I am comfortable in Ghazipur but its a little pressure over me at that place.

Meerut I mean is 'whateva'. I learnt to survive there. But it was one of the coolest times of my life.

Mangalore is kinda 'save my ass place' which is what I am doing in college. Lot's of rants but that later............

Monday, 28 February 2011

Asmanjas



















This song was written by me for the band Dfuzion..

1
Prem mein tore paglayee baithee,
Chhod gaye pardes piya tum…
Raah taku main nadiya kinaare,
Kaise kaatu main ratiya ye…
Karvat badlun asmanjas mein,
Birha ki ye agan jalaye…
Piya more aare daras dikha re 2

2
More hriday mein hai basa tu,
Yaad karun main pichla sawan..
Jee mein mere teri soorat,
Har kone jee tujhko paaye…
Har pahar ye asmanjas hai,
Piya more bairi kab tu aaye..
Piya more aare daras dikha re 2

3
Akhiyan mori behti tum bin,
Aake humre aansu poncho..
Sooni aankhein raah nihaare,
Dekho meri haalat haaye..
Duur karo mera asmanjas ye,
Ab bin tore jiya nahi jaaye….
Piya more aare, daras dikha re 2

नयी सुबह


















कभी कभी लगता है ऐसा रात कभी न जायेगी,
सुबह की ठंडी मीठी खुशबू फिर कभी न आएगी.

रात अँधेरी छायी सारी दुनिया ये धुंधलाई है,
राह देखते सुबह की सारी कलियाँ ये मुरझाई हैं. 

काले काले चमगादड़ ये लटके लटके हँसते हैं,
समय हमारा बना रहेगा ऐसे फिकरे कसते हैं.

उल्लू की आवाज़ इन कानो में यूँ चुभती है,
ओट में सोयी छोटी बच्ची नींद में चिहुंक उठती है.

किरण सुबह की फूटे कब इसका इंतज़ार है,
रात में जग कर घडी देखता बूढा चौकीदार है.

डर लगता है अब की ये रात कभी न जायेगी,
सुबह की ठंडी मीठी खुशबू फिर कभी न आएगी.

तम का राज टूटेगा घडी सुनहरी आएगी ,
ठंडी ठंडी ओस की बूँदें घासों को चमकायेंगी.

आस ये अब भी बनी हुई है धूप सुनहरी छाएगी,
सुबह की ठंडी मीठी खुशबू कभी न कभी तो आएगी.   

   

 

Saturday, 26 February 2011

Lots but nothing...















Playing in a big playground, running around,
see-saw, slide, swing but no friends,
I have lots but nothing.

The hardwork paid off, got what I wanted,
I have everything, but no one to share it,
I have lot's but nothing.

I eat in fancy restaurants, delicacies from around the world,
Still the taste of mother's food lingers in my mouth,
I have lot's but nothing.

I buy my share of love whenever I want,
but where could I get care in a love which sells?
I have lots but nothing.

I stand on the sea shore and reflect what happened,
I had everything back then but I exchanged it for lots,
now,
I have lot's but nothing..

Thursday, 24 February 2011

Pain of me...

I tried to make you understand but you were in your own world.
You want me to understand you, and I do it absolutely.
But there is much to me which you can never never understand.
It's the pain of me.

I can never be what you want, and you know that.
I am very sorry, really, but I have given my best,
Its just that you couldn't see.
It's the pain of me.

Your world is happy, bright but mine is not.
I am just trying to brighten up my gloomy world with a candle of hope.
Don' share my darkness
coz
It's the pain of me.

I don't want you to realize anything,
neither I want you to change.
You did what you could and I did my part.
Our worlds are far apart
and
It's the pain of me.

Tuesday, 15 February 2011

Shit!

Different versions of shit!

College Guys- "oh Shit man!

College Girls- aww shit!

Video game playing guy- shiit! darn!

Rikshawwala- oh sett..

Guy relieved with shit - shit.... yess

Hollywood movie - Oh no shit!

Hollywood movie dubbed - dhat teri ki (oh shit)

Some village boys playing cricket and missing a ball - oh satttt yaaar

Sophisticated aunty - ohh ouch shiat!

Guys falling from a bike - bullshit!


उफान

सपने टूटते हैं  तो दिल टूट जाता है, दर्द का दरिया उमड़ता है कभी, कभी गुस्से का उफान, खालीपन सा घर कर लेता है  सीने में और फिर हम फिर उस खालीप...