Paimana

There are some vibes that when you see them you just know that they are yours. Till now since the time I have been on the internet I have encountered two vibes that I thought I could build upon. One was from a blogger blog of a literary kind of a guy in Rajasthan who wrote Hindi literature and another from a poem of a Hindustani classical musician on Tumblr. Otherwise we encounter countless vibes on the internet but these two vibes stayed with me because they hit somewhere intimate in me making me realise who I actually was. I have lived under tremendous sociopolitical pressure for most of my life and that might be, in some part, attributed to my grandfather's political career but had that not been the case I would have been that guy, living with and in those two vibes which have a lot more in common than they are distinct. Those who are in touch with Hindi literature know that it has been almost obliterated from existence by now. Earlier in this country only lower classes were exploited but since the late 2000s the target also began to include the middle class, and what gave dignity to the middle class? Hindi literature, just like folk culture, music, art, dances and tales gave dignity to the lower classes. They eradicated folk culture, music, art, dances and tales from the lower classes and annihilated Hindi literature from the middle classes. When I was younger I used to think of it as a natural phenomenon, a side-effect of modernity. In the past decade as the actual political reality of this nation dawned upon me, I realised that it is intentional and the goal is to deprive the lower and middle classes of dignity and voice and turn them into slaves, robots and drones. In the past decade I also realised that there is nothing that can be done about it, as the control is omnipresent, absolute and totalitarian and the only thing one can do is be aware of it so that one can make peace with the slavery and try to do what actually matters to them. I choose my awareness of the slavery to build on the vibes that are dear to me. There is not much that can be done about Hindi literature anymore as it has been almost wiped out and even if you write in Hindi no one, and especially no one of consequence, who can bring about a change, would read it, and so I try to convert Hindi literary vibes in English. I'm aware of my slavery but I refuse to play the game of "my neighbour has bought an Audi and I have a Toyota."