Why me? I wonder this sometimes but know the answer. I've been reduced to a non-functional mass, and my my skills have choked within me without seeing the daylight. My real self choked in the shadow of a projection which didn't even mean anything.

My losses have been terrible and unending, till now and i wish to put a stop to it. So much for so long, and all alone. I need to commend myself. Do i deserve this much hate? Well, i do. I'm happy if it is for the right reasons. All the pleasure that was provided has been sucked back with interest. I used to be funny once, despite all the pain i used to be extremely funny. Now i'm just a blob of flesh on the bed, eating and sleeping because of the damage done.

I'm already dead, all that is left is to kill my family by stopping my breath. Will the universe pay back for all the good deeds i've done? I doubt that.

I wish to sleep and never wakeup, and this is what i wish to do everyday. One man is never enough and i'm finished.

All of my courage and determination have become nil. Philosophizing comes in the end when one can't do anything, and i think this is what i can do, and keep breathing till i can.

Four years of incessant, inhuman treatment, and i have suffered it without flinching, only to be branded as a psychopath/ sociopath. What a life to be lived. Four years of continuous humiliation for being a person that i'm actually not. If that was not enough, i lost people from my real life.

I believe even criminals do not suffer this much. All this when i have given my best possible to everyone.

I do not have any complaint, because i think this was universe's way of answering my questions.