Nazar Ke Saamne

I have held some beliefs and I hold them now too. I like sentimental people because I was sentimental once and being sentimental, if you can pull it off in this economy, is great. I couldn't pull it off and adapted to this country, mostly because I don't like surprises and especially of the bad kind and no matter how much touchwood you do that's what is in store for you ultimately in this country. I have had the front row seat to the shitshow this country is, and I have no idea what got me the tickets but my best guess is either it would be doing research in the field of my study and work and writing poetry. Here is the truth about the deep government of this country. These motherfuckers are incapable of finding the truth despite having absolute access to it. They project their delusions on people, mostly innocent people, and make them carry the burden of their megalomaniacal delusions. This is the structure that really controls your life and it is full of entitled, megalomaniacal, narcissistic and unfortunately unbelievably incompetent assholes. Life is cheap here and they rape and murder for fun and even when they are bringing someone to "justice" they just can't do it right despite having access to absolute truth. The rule is "guilty until proven innocent" and funny enough innocence matters shit because it is innocents who they are habituated of needlessly exploiting, raping and murdering, you see the catch here. When I confronted this reality of this nation, my first thoughts were may be I have done something wrong or that may be there has been some misunderstanding, turns out neither had I done something wrong nor there was some misunderstanding. The setup is such that your entire life history, your past, present and future can be rewritten just because someone doesn't likes your face or some other such trivial attribute of yours and that attribute can be anything only thing that you have to do get in the sight of these assholes, that's the only thing that is required and here is where the concept of "nazar" in this country originates from. It's not something occult, it's just the rich of this country and the rapists employed by them for crowd control. I didn't want the truth to be this simple but then here I am with actual truth of this country and, by extension, of the world. So you can realise that there is no God, but then I'll also say that God might not exist the way you have been believing in him or her but if music exists so does God and you can manifest him or her.

Faith and Politics

Is it about faith? I don't know. I don't force faith on to people. Hinduism allows you choose the deity of your choice. What I have learnt in all these years is that the entity that has the power of administration of faith in this country is not only corrupt but also demonic. Faith is nothing to these motherfuckers other than crowd control. I have had my experience with faith and I know that it is certainly bigger than crowd control. I don't trust the temples these bastards build, I don't trust their administration of temples. I do however trust those who go to these temples and those who climb on the temples to change the flags. The first Muslim invasion of India took place in 711 CE and I don't have faith in temples constructed after that. I anyway politically identify as an atheist, although I have personal faith. I don't trust the modern administrators of faith, and I have substantial reasons for that, I don't really like to to visit temples unless and until it's a family obligation. I understood the setup and I realised that Brahmins and priests were just doing the administration of faith, first for Muslims, then for the British and now for the corporations. This enlightenment was a long time coming for me and I finally realised why do I feel more peaceful in temples of Tamilnadu than temples anywhere else in India. Goddess Kamakhya is the clan goddess from my Dadi's side of family and I still have to visit the Kamakhya Temple in Assam to ascertain whether I feel peaceful there or not. Those who can build shiny skyscrapers in Gurgaon can also build temples but then temples aren't only made from concrete and stone they also need faith which these corrupt criminals lack. I believe in Mother Goddesses and I confide in Goddess Chamunda and Goddess Saraswati. I have been able to retrospect on my life and my interactions in this country and I have realised that this country is basically godless and most of the faith and religion, except of the common people, is basically performative. I find more peace in the courtyard of temple at my Nani's village than major North Indian temples. The administrators of faith have sold Hinduism and people's faith and a sold out performative system of faith fails to empower me. We are lucky that ancient masters left enough of literature so that those who are interested in reviving ancient knowledge can work on it. The religion in this country in today's date is a tool for control, blackmail, exploitation and for inducing fear. The religion I believe in empowers through faith. 

(Almost) Foolproof Method to Survive The Banana Republic

It's about the contrast of truths. There are various truths in the world and I have seen the worst of them, and when you see the bottomline the so called good truths don't really matter for people like me it's the same phenomenon like you put shit on a cake and it becomes inedible. One's got to carry on though, in a very existential manner. When we live in a setting where your personal and family history can be altered just based on the whims of some assholes who are not only idiots but also incompetent there is not much left in life anyway. All that remains is earning, taking care of family and having fun. Having fun is important, whether you are an atheist or not, be a modern day Charvaka. Entitlement is a real phenomenon and more often than not it is incurable, humility is for the weak or so the general consensus is in the entity that rules this country. Beauty matters shit anymore, but I like aesthetics and I'll do my part in preserving the aesthetics I like. I remember the times when things were cool, but then I also see the Gen Z enjoying their version of cool. It'll be curious to see how the Gen Z of India would adapt when reality of this country hits them, though most of them have already adapted but it would be curious to see their adaptation when the adulthood pressures build on. There are islands of time in this country, past and future coexist along with keeping people in the lonely penal islands of their own minds. I have cracked the code and I realise that bottomline is your family, money, your work and your interests, this is the bottomline and anything other than that is a privilege including friends and community which can be destroyed anytime based on the whims of entitled and yet somehow magically incompetent assholes. Though the suggestion is to try to build a lot of formal, symbiotic, give and take relationships and acquaintances and not letting them become informal or close relationships. The existence in this country at present both at the physical plane and at the psychological plane, excluding the common people who are just trying to survive, is about dealing with mad dogs. They need to be put down but the difference in power dynamic won't allow you to do so. It's a criminal syndicate moonlighting as providence and there is not a thing that you can do about it except trying to save your own ass and your whole life (hopefully not) might get spent doing so. Here is the trick, fall back to your interests and hobbies or if you don't have them, develop them. Recreation is important and in absence of meaningful relationships, destroying or sabotaging which seems to be the goal, they would come in handy. Existence of God is impossible except when you have found him or her within you or are manifesting him or her through your faith and belief. It's a mediaeval setup in its essence masquerading as fate with embellishments of science and modernity at the top layer and unfortunately most people fail to see beneath the top layer which I think is better for their own sanity. Never abandon your personal truths, they are as valid as someone else's truths but also acknowledge if they are delusions. Truth however ugly it might be is blissful in the long run and knowing the truth of the world would let you create beauty in your own life as well as in the lives of your loved ones. It's a banana republic and so even though you must have love for the land and the beautiful common folk, don't forget to put your hammock between coconut trees and sip your piña colada. Nothing is foolproof here and people are randomly selected for slaughter but we gotta do the best we can to have fun until it's our turn. 

Vaishnav Jan

Non-violence is for the privileged. Violence is the first resort for the scoundrels who know that they can get away with it and the last resort for unprivileged. There are rules and conventions scattered within our society throughout and while those who, for the lack of a better word, "enforce" them do not follow them at all and others are exploited on the basis of it keeping these rules and conventions as a blueprint. I was a staunch believer in non-violence but I had to reconsider my beliefs and when I did retrospection of my life I realised that it is only those who do violence who win in this country and non-violence is just seen as either cowardice or a thing to be exploited. I have been minding my business throughout my life, first because even with less, I was happy in and with my life and later as a rule, but this country doesn't work like that, they invade your homes and even minds unprovoked and rape and rob you. The state this country is at present is tragically hilarious, people are being kept uninformed and even are intentionally misinformed and if this is the job of the government intelligence of this country, I would be surprised. I mean I can see my mother's instagram algorithm full of propaganda and superstition and then I can see my father's algorithm full of political propaganda and psuedo-nationalist misinformation and then there is mine full of memes which are useless to me but nevertheless never fail to make me chuckle. The motto of this nation at present is "plunder while you still can" and they are plundering the absolutely helpless. I got exposed to deep politics of Purvanchal, and I realised that I was already exposed to it since very early on and it wasn't a choice for me. The politics of Purvanchal is exploiting any and every weakness be it illness, poverty, insecurities, lack of confidence, helplessness. These absolute scum bottom feeders have access to the minds of people in Purvanchal and, by the looks of it, the rest of the nation. After getting exposed to this setup, I realise that there is a parallel constitution in this country which is the actual constitution of this land and there are only two components in this constitution: sex and money which express themselves as rape and exploitation. Ever since I got exposed to this setup and by virtue of it decoded the actual political setup and system of this "ancient land" I have been hoping that it's not the government intelligence of this country. There is no way to find out and since I don't want it to be the government intelligence of this country I have been doing mental gymnastics about what this entity can actually be, it can be the coalition of the self-assumed feudal lords of this country and corporations because I know for sure that corporations are involved, my researches as far as the professional side of my life goes and my stories as far as writing side of my life goes were stolen and used, leaving me no other option than making everything I write and conceptualise public domain, I mean it was ultimately meant for common people and it is always better to give it to common people and help them than getting it stolen by the rich. You should know that you, if you are a citizen of India, are basically being ruled by scammers. I have no skin in this game because the only thing that mattered to me, that is the culture, has been decimated. I'm just having fun watching the shitshow and documenting it. 

12th Fail and BA Pass

You have to highlight the beauty, but that can only be done if beauty remains. It's funny that a law abiding citizen writes stuff that can be termed against the establishment but guess when I know the truth I must write about what is essentially a criminal syndicate. I realised if you can't live an authentic life in a third world country and it is pre-programmed then you can't do it anywhere in the world. People have been writing since forever Dostoevsky did, Kafka did and so many after them did, and things only got progressively worse for the common folk because once criminals have absolute power they just keep tightening the grip and deleting the ways out of slavery. Here is a silver lining though, noone can really know you, it can be tragic to hear I but don't fret, those who have love in their hearts can know you, the criminals however won't be able to know you despite having access to all your memories, thoughts and relationships because they are incapable of doing that. I was never a materialistic person, all I seeked was happiness but happiness evades people in this day and age because it something that is empowering and empowerment is not the deal in the present times. Materialism though I must assert that it is absolutely essential for physical survival and so you must try your best to earn and even hoard money. Relationships are beautiful, but in the current political scenario of this country, they are not going to last. The goal is to make each person a lonely island, and that's what your instagram algorithm is doing, feeding you exactly what is required to make you a lonely island of your interests and likings, and the maximum communication you can get is in the comments section of the instagram reels and YouTube videos you liked. Is rebellion feared? Only if people come to know what is being done to their lives, but since everyone is a lonely island only a few would be able to really know what is going on in this country. Why do you think the IAS and IPS of this country are sending their sons and daughters to America? Is it BJP? To be truthful, I don't know but I don't think so. The maximum it can be that it is "also" BJP. The control has been since forever and it's localised and stratified. It goes on from your village and upwards and that means the local rapists of your village as well as your corporate boss, depends actually if he is complicit and part of the structure, can access your life. It's mostly about being perennially hypocritical and two-faced. Unfortunately the only two-face I like is the Batman villain. I just saw a video of a restaurant owner in Mumbai getting slapped by goons for not speaking in Marathi. That's what is destiny for middle class people in this country, getting slapped around while trying to survive. I don't really have the entertainment of my kind, as it has stopped being made, I was interested in authentic Indian rock and Indian comics and it has been obliterated from the scene, and I don't have any interest in watching poverty porn propaganda like "12th Fail" by privileged voyeurs posing to be auteurs. Authentic blogs documenting culture and literature within the country have gone extinct so I try to find the remaining and curate them. Here is a blog for you to see for yourself, and you should check it out: gyandutt.com. I mean I kind of know that I'm just like Johnny Sins or Jordi for some elite rich aunty, and this gets compounded by the fact that I'm a medicine man and I know the depths of human body, mind and souls. It's way worse for middle class girls though who are basically whores of the rich. Sounds crazy? The way this country is going it won't in a few years. The culture has been decimated and I don't know about other regions, but I have seen the culture of my region get decimated since the 90s while preserving the external appearance in the lower strata though things are not the same. I mean I would have preferred eating Chana Zor Garam in the Dussehra Mela of my hometown and reading Idgah by Premchand than owning an offroader, even though these things are mutually exclusive. I would have preferred Maruti 800 to KIA Seltos if it means sacrificing my peace of mind, but that's what the deal is, the poor and somehow still kind guy selling Chana Zor Garam gets brutally murdered while rapists zip around in Fortuners. The homelessness we see in this country is not comparable to the homelessness in America, because unlike America we actually had a culture. Now all you get is criminals fleecing you at Anand Vihar Station, and asshole cab drivers trying to fool you, while young boys who are about to be turned into assholes just like the cab drivers are delivering for "quick commerce" companies, I mean I kind of preferred it more when I personally used to go to Gupta Ji's general store but then we all are too tired and depressed to go out and do shopping. I find it funny when companies like Tata who have "established" themsleves in this country, and now I finally know how, despite being Parsis don't have the gall to colonise Persia while a lot of Indian companies at present are actually colonising Africa. I have a strong belief the cucks can't really pull off colonisation, and that's visible in India as these bastards are incapable of having an expeditionary force like Marine Corps and a functional Navy and are actually busy colonising and torturing their own people. I have strong doubts about being actually ruled by Indians, I think these motherfuckers are just puppets of some external power. It's anyway too late to say all this. Philosophically I can't say more than what Dostoevsky, Kafka and Nietzsche haven't already said. The thing that disappointed me most about this country however is absolute lack of aesthetics and aesthetics being actually reserved for the privileged whose head is so deep in West's asshole that they don't even care about Indian aesthetics. 

Tomb Raider

Instagram is great. I follow female cosplayers on Instagram, and recently since a couple of years even some Indian girls have started cosplaying and they cosplay anime characters and comic book and videogame characters. I mean it's a kind of legitimate way of earning money as arrangements such as comic con and videogame conventions call them. I like the idea of cosplaying, women display idealised versions of women from the male perspective and present it to men which satisfies men and also help the women earn money. I like cosplayers cosplaying my favourite female characters such as Lara Croft and female superheroes and it's anyway better than pimping one's own life like a lot of Indians are doing on Instagram right now. The girls who are cosplaying in India are ahead of the curve though I fear that they would be ultimately consumed by the entertainment exploitation machine. Women have to make right and dignified decisions for themselves even if they plan to earn by serving the male gaze. I sometimes visit Reddit and see huge amount of Indian pornography on it, no not the hidden cam or scandal stuff but properly shot pornography and it can't happen without trafficking and exploitation of women. You know that pornography is banned in India, right? How can the intelligence agencies and the government not be aware of cinematic level production and dissemination of pornography on an industrial scale in this country? The same country where kids are looked down upon for having a boyfriend or girlfriend. Especially when they can track IP addresses of dissenting political voices. I'll tell you what the main game is. I learnt it from Bihar during my stay there, where alcohol is banned. It's called black market economy. Make something illegal so people acquire it paying more money and it also helps in oppression and framing of people when required. I mean they can catch you acquiring a six pack of beers in Bihar and you would be a criminal while you only wanted to make your weekend good with Jagjeet Singh and Pink Floyd. The same goes with porn. Keep the society highly repressed so that the consumption of pornography increases and make it illegal at the same time and that allows you to profit from the black market economy of pornography and human trafficking of women as well as in framing people who produce and consume it when required. You can easily see that the government is complicit in it. The establishment is literally whoring the women of this country out along with exploiting them while rape cases in this country haven't decreased a bit even after banning pornography. 

Identity and Crisis

When people start having identity crises despite having well established identity one has to realise that there is something seriously wrong about the politics of this country. I know what identity crisis is, though I have only experienced it in superficial manner but experienced I have. My belief in caste is only limited to shared customs that different castes have within them and I don't associate it with superiority or inferiority. It was funny to me when a Hindi blogger I much adored for bringing rural stories out through his blog tried to justify his Brahmin caste through genetics, kind of ruined it for me but I know that he is a good man. If we see in this manner, humans have 60 percent genetic similarity with a housefly and 98 percent genetic similarity with a gorilla. I'm a Rajput by birth so many people would assume that I had it easy, and it might be that other people of my community have had it good due to their caste, I personally haven't though I still won't compare the tremendous struggle and suffering that I have had in my life to the struggle and suffering of a dalit man or woman. The oppression and torture that I have faced is individualised and it ultimately, thanks to my education, opened my eyes to the actual reality of this nation, that there are only two main classes in this nation, the master class and the slave class and castes are just there to keep the wheel of time moving in the lower stratas, I mean something has to be happening in the lower stratas, right? Caste unfortunately is a reality and in northern states, which the redditors call as BIMARU, caste based discrimination is rampant. If we even magnify the caste based differences and abilities and disadvantages of belonging to a particular caste, if people were constructive, they would have taken it in the stride of "if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid". I have a strong belief that only the scoundrels who have nothing to offer at a personal level believe in things like caste and race, though some are genuinely just preserving the traditions of their community while for others it is a fascism-like method of banding together and trying to oppress other communities. I won't even say that the government has failed because after thirty five autumns of my life I have realised that the government only exists on paper and it is in fact a working arm of the rich who are basically casteless. I have a regional identity which has expressed itself throughout my life despite me not living in the region I originate from most of my life. I belong to Eastern Uttar Pradesh and I was kind of aware that the region is backward financially and in terms of infrastructure but the past decade proved to me that it is actually backward and inferior to other regions of this country, no not because of the culture. Since I can analyse cultures I know that my culture is one of the most superior culture in humanistic terms in the whole country and I would attribute it to the benevolent ancient designers of my land and culture. It is inferior at present because the ones in power in my region are literal rapists and extortionists who have turned my region into an extortion and rape chamber behind the smokescreen of religion. The culture still persists but I don't know for how long, a lot of beautiful things from my culture have gone extinct in favour of mongrel modernity. I used to believe in a greater purpose, I was studying medicine so I wanted to help people, that was the greater purpose. I wrote so I wanted to create a masterpiece wanting to achieve greatness in that regard, youthful ambitions you know, just like the lyrics in the song Zinda from the film Lootera, "kabr par mere sir utha ke khadi ho zindagi, aise marnaa hai mujhe." As time passed, I realised that it is basically sex and money, everything. And for the privileged, in this country at least, rape and extortion and exploitation that they inflict on others. So, when confronted with this reality I realised that there is no greatness to be achieved, no masterpiece to be created. What actually remains in the setting we live in is, trying to master what we do, earn money and have fun with the non-negotiable trying to keep family together as the political forces of the land try to break apart your family to sell more soaps. When I confronted identity crises, I based my identity on science, like: a human on the planet earth, along with the political identity that is my family history and background and my pedigree. This country has the first world and third world both within it and the first worlders of this country are free to rape and murder the third worlders which they do with abandon. So, I choose to have fun, and do what gives me pleasure. Writing is one such thing.