Horha

The deeper game is always identity and ego. I had an identity crisis and that identity crisis made sure that I don’t suffer with midlife crisis later. I sorted it once and for all. I’m a native of my hometown, and my region and yet the hometown as well as the region betrayed me and I realised that its not a one time case, people are being betrayed by their so-called hometowns and regions and the ultimate realisation is that there is no home in the world except family. Once I realised this bottom line life became incredibly easy. As far as Purvanchal goes, it’s a slavery situation perpetuated by habitual rapists, and unfortunately my beautiful culture only exists now as a hyperreality, a simulation while the real substance has eroded due to mindless exploitation. It took me a while to finally accept that it is in fact about sex and money in form of rape and exploitation at the deepest level, but for common people like me it is about love. I would rather take the pain love brings with it than give in to corruption. Knowing the greater truth has freed me. I’m not going to have a psychological crisis ever again. Financial yes, psychological no. This country is unfathomably ugly and I have been lucky enough to take a full tour of it. Once you see the ugliness of this country, all its beauty becomes redundant. What remains is nature, the universe and the most important of them all, family. This is the bottom line. You can keep you material desires, but the ultimate bottom line when the veil lifts are the things that provide free lunches, nature and family. I studied medicine and I was idealistic, I really wanted to heal people and with time I realised that healing people is not possible because those who control the society of this nation are profoundly sick and it is their disease that is reflecting in the health of people. As a doctor all one can do is “provide services” and take money. True healing is out of the question in this scenario. Politics thrives on spreading confusion about identity, about everything. When one realises that there are people in this country who are being systematically prevented from eating western food items and from watching western media and reading western literature, things kind of simplify. These things kind of lose meaning. And coming from a family that provided for the whole village, I kind of find it funny that assholes who rule the hearts and minds of people in this country are so cheap and petty. There are no legacies anymore because rapists will never be able to understand the concept of legacies. What remains is false pride and ego games and sooner one divorces himself from them the better.