Kaithi

You got to swim in the sea of shit sometimes to finally get to where you wanted. There was no requirement for the hell that I went through in my life, but I documented it so that it's easy for the others. What I saw was demonic but then it is hell. The most disappointing thing of it all was that you don't have to be guilty, you can be totally innocent and yet you can be thrown in hell for perpetual torture. It's basically whims of the assholes who run the show. Nothing can get sadder than this, and yet here we are. We are dealing here with Joffrey Bratheon, and multiply it with a million or probably more, level of cruelty. The worse part of it all is that the entitlement and the cruelty doesn't really match the ability, there is a huge gap between them. I realised that the setup is specifically for innocents, for torturing their souls and raping and exploiting them but even if that is the case, I had expected some class and that I found lacking. Imagine the worst kind of lower class scum, and that scum is privy to your deepest insecurities and secrets which again are exploited continuosly. Thankfully, my secrets and insecurities were no more than decoys. Since 2016, I have faced Purvanchal at a deeper level and realised the reason for the death of the culture in the region. What remains of culture is just an empty shell and despite the demonic level of sexual repression through religious and other means in the region, the engine that runs the culture runs solely on rape and I would suppose even when culture was actually a thing in the region. Change, I realise, is impossible because these individuals are addicted to rape as a way of life and changing that is impossible what is easier is to eliminate those who have seen the setup. I would suppose that it's similar in the rest of the country too. My deep love for my religion, that is Hinduism, as a religion as well as a syncretic culture was affected after seeing what I saw, religion as a tool for perpetuating rape and exploitation. This, my friends, is the state of a region that has Varanasi, the spiritual capital, of this country. It's totally godless, except the god that resides in the faiths of people who inhabit this region. I am an atheist but I respect the Gods and deities of Hinduism, there is a kind of faith or there was, as it was shaken when I saw the reality of the region which is totally about politics and exploitation and at a level so deep that not only it is impossible to get rid of it, it is also impossible to know that it is political conspiracies that are ruining your and your family's life and causing you suffering which includes suffering related to health. The modus operandi is giving you faux analogies for your suffering, you did this so this is happening to you and this is repeated infinitely justifying that since you did this, it multiply infinitely and hit you as karma. What went wrong in my case however is that I haven't really hurt even a fly in my life, and except for jacking off on porn I haven't done anything that karma would hit me and it is when things became overt and thanks to my knowledge of medicine and psychiatry, I was able to decode it. The control is absolute and suffering is inevitable, but knowing the truth that suffering is not because of you and that it's just a bunch of lower class rapists employed against the middle class, and unaware upper class and of course the lower class where these motherfuckers do anything they want, by the rich, probably oligarchs and corporations who might be arranged in a multilevel manner, greatly reduces the suffering. It's basically totalitarianism imposed by a criminal syndicate and there is nothing called intelligence establishment in this country. It is here you come to know why the police, media and judiciary is the way it is in this country. I will probably suffer and die but then I know enough to not care about that. Though if things get legal, I've got to keep my insanity plea ready. The worst part of it all was I had no business in this shit. I stayed out of Purvanchal whole of my life due to my father's transferable job and I didn't even know this shit. Only two goals that I had were healing people and earning money through it and writing, and yet here we are. It's basically sex, money and resources and at the deepest level, where people think there is God. As far as people go, we all know it's survival.