Hard bottomed abyss

What are you afraid of when you've lost everything? That's a question which keeps echoing in my mind and then I realize that loss is endless, and i am in debt. A sensation of a gangrape being committed to your soul the each living moment and then your soul acts like a whore. Why must i not enjoy it? Being fucked. The voice in the head says. When you're falling into an endless abyss,  is it not like a free of cost bungee jumping without a rope? May be it is not. You scratch your balls in your solitary abode; you look around and you find no one and that's because you've chosen it. Life poses difficult questions and not all need to be answered, and who says that? Are we sure of anything, unless we choose to be sure? The hands of the clock keep moving, and you keep getting older, just waiting for your impending doom, getting life lessons from the experts around you. They teach you lessons, or may be they give you the revisions of the lessons you've already had. And you learn quietly. Because it is going to be never ending. And when it ends, you end. When you hit the ground, it's no more an abyss. But when you hit the ground it's then the real fun begins. I like music but it depends; for some the sound of breaking bones is music, for me it's not. A matter of personal taste. May be the real journey begins when you reach the end of not-so-much-of-an-abyss. May be. Who wants to be sure?