Piece of Mind

I compensate my not being able to write what I really want to write with writing about writing. As far as writing is concerned, my goals are fiction and fantasy, though I end up, a lot of times, writing non-fiction. I have options of things to write about and with time the focus becomes clearer and realisation of topics that actually need to be tackled arrives. When one writes, one must walk around with a pen and a small diary or at least make use of their phone to note their epiphanies as they appear. Memory is unreliable and thus insights and inspirations must be noted as soon as they appear, though despite saying this I, a lot of times fail in doing so, as I repeatedly make the mistake of trusting my memory. I prefer efficient living and I seek methods for doing so. I have cleared the clutter from my life and prioritised things. In fact my priorities have been clear since the start and before 2013, my life in my head was neatly compartmentalised when in 2013, I faced sabotage and my priorities got misplaced due to forced delusions and in trying to survive the sabotage. Before 2016, my goals were purely academic and research oriented in nature and it is only after 2016 that I got into livelihood mode. My first love is still research and I just find myself incredibly lucky that I specialise in a subject that can sustain lifelong research and that I have something that I can dedicate my life to. Money is of course necessary for hand to mouth and thus one must work and invest and this requires daily grind, but I'm glad that I can squeeze time for research among all this. I misplaced my priorities due to sabotage from 2016 to 2021 but they fell in place post 2021 giving me a better perspective and vantage point into how this country is actually run, which, if I be brief, is basically consistent exploitation including emotional, financial and sexual exploitation for the majority. I wanted to teach once, and it was not really something odd as research at most places comes coupled with teaching but ultimately I realised that teaching is the most useless profession (nothing against teachers, I respect and love all teachers, it's just due to the sociopolitical reality of the country), and is going to be one of the first professions to be replaced by AI with teachers just having ceremonial positions in schools and universities. It is all about self-study. Learning to educate oneself is one of the best skills one can develop and so is the ability of developing pedagogy for oneself. The ability to perceive true structure and functions and properties of knowledge systems and how they interact with each other is essential if one has to have a deeper knowledge about the world and its systems, both natural and political. Since the reality we live in is majorly political, it doesn't really give a fuck about our interests and passions. It's basically money. And you and your family would only survive if you have money, so passion although is a primary thing, it becomes secondary when survival is concerned. I write and research, but getting food on the table daily is ultimately the biggest motivator for working. Passion thus, now is secondary but I don't hesitate in accepting that if financial security was not a consideration it would definitely have been a primary thing. Since writing and research are my passions and seperate from my job that is treating patients and managing a hospital, all my writing and research is open source and anyone who reads my writing and research is free to read and use it without ever feeling the need of being thankful to me.