Plea-sure results

You slip and tumble past the slanting green meadows of joy into a blue river of pleaure filled with piranhas and think about fish fry, and the piranhas think of something else. Something pinches your pericardium, moving the pericardial fluid beneath it and troubling the bacterium that resides within, ready to eat away your heart with its mates. You start swimming against the current in your utter shock. You are in a grave condition and you are swimming with all the strength you can muster. The piranhas are having their pulpy, juicy relish and the bacteria in the pericardial fluid are busy copulating without condoms to produce young ones of their own kind. Your almost non-existent feet are moving with the speed of propeller of a motor powered boat. Luck helps you and you manage to get to the ground with the stumps of your locomotive appendages and then a giant eagle picks you up and takes you away to a discotheque where, with a gun pointing at your face, you are told to perform bharatnatyam. You look helplessly at your once football conditioned legs and try to get up. But there is one problem; you don't know bharatnatyam. You ask if you can do locking and popping. The bacteria inside your pericardial cavity have gathered enough force by now to squeeze through your capillaries and spread all over your body. You cough a little and get yourself ready for doing your version of bharatnatyam. You perform mudras in a locking and popping style, which is well recieved. Your stumps pain unbearably with the weight of your well fed plethoric body. You are then shot in the head. And the bullet lodges in your cranium, liberating your soul. And the poor bacteria in your blood die a disappointed death.