3D Pinball Space Cadet

It's my staunch belief that autonomy over oneself is what makes humans humans. Since I have realised that people don't even have autonomy over their own bodies and minds let alone their lives, and not due to some divine reason but a very cheaply political and criminal reason, life has become significantly easy for me. I was young and I used to play 3D Pinball on Windows XP. That was my first introduction to wormholes. Though I had already been introduced to the universe thanks to my school books, children's magazines and comics. When one realises that even if humans now terraform Mars they would remain slaves things kind of get into perspective. It's a permanent slavery that people live in and since the method has been once invented, if it is an invention, there is no going back. History now can be looked at with the lens of this slavery and so can be the literature of the past. I was interested in the universe, I was interested in terraforming but storytellers including those who use cinema to tell stories have been upfront about the truth, see Star Wars in which an evil empire rules the galaxy, or see the series The Expanse where people are made to mine minerals on asteroids. I used to think that it's a very bleak view of humanity but now when I know the truth of my region and this country and by extension the world, I don't think so. It is an accurate view and there is 99% chance that it is what will happen. I find it funny that I still believe in the chance of 1% it not happening but that's just the optimist and hopeful romantic in me. Things have only deteriorated with time and while the deluded believe that technology is progressing and "life has become easier", they fail to find real happiness. I, personally, would prefer to work on my farm all day and be happy and sleep a good sleep after a hard days work than have appliances and robots do my work and suffer with structure induced anxiety, depression and lack of self-worth. Of course it is all politics. But here is a catch, the common man is not even a slave, he is either an animal for slaughter or a beast of burden. The reality I have seen, I can't even now deny that the real setup is pumping people with depression and laziness so that they stay at home and order from "quick commerce" websites, the only thing India is good at while other countries make advancements in AI, to increase their business. Seems improbable? Well I have seen some shit and I know that it is not. When you see the depth of criminality and inferiority of those who actually rule this nation, which I have been, I would say privileged to see, you finally realise how deeply and how good the British fucked this nation. When you know what I know you would realise that structures like the IAS and judiciary in the British style which I used to think as a good thing inherited from the British, doesn't even matter. I mean what does judiciary matter when the actual guilty don't get punished and innocents don't get justice, in fact the actual reality is that it's the innocents who get punished and as far as IAS goes one good look at the infrastructure of the nation and the corruption inside the government and you come to know the truth. The bottomline is that it's a penal colony, and from what I assume, of the West like it has always been since 1757. The sepoys managing the country for the West aren't really doing a good job and are busy raping, torturing, extorting and exploiting people now just at a level where they can blame it on fate or God. The best part, I was nowhere in the picture. I just wanted to be a psychiatrist and a novel and comic book writer and here I'm writing about the Gangs of Wasseypur meets Orwellian Nightmare. My sole goal is to write authentic and beautiful things which keeps alive the spirit of greats like Anant Kushwaha but in the contemporary setting along with exploring other vibes and genres I like, I only write about politics because it's hard to find inspiration to write creatively in the present political state of this nation, though even if I manage to write what I want I will keep writing about politics once in while when it's absolutely necessary. 

Inside Bigg Boss's Asshole

Imagination is important and this makes me wonder about days when I used to write poetry on mermaids and jungle fairies. I never touched upon the apsaras and kinnaras and Gandharvas but one ultimately realises that if you have to think like that one is ultimately facing discrimination from either from inside or outside. My poems about mermaids and jungle fairies might be western but they weren't really meant to be it was just an expression of thinking the world is one and so is art which it essentially is if we excuse the politics but politics is too big to be excused in fact it is the very existence. It is much later I thought of writing Indian mythofantasies though I have always been supporting them reading scarce books about them and purchasing comics about them. You have seen Indian aesthetics in the paintings of Radha and Krishna and in the paintings of Raja Ravi Verma. I have seen them in comics I grew up reading, a lot of them Indian mythofantasies and works of great people like Anant Kushwaha elevating Indian folk tales into fantasies. The Indian reality could have been that, at least for the Indian nerds which the establishment refuses to acknowledge as it refuses to acknowledge any safe space in which people can quietly do their work and follow their interests as it hinders them in executing their kundalis which they have already decided according to their whims though this only applies on middle class and lower and the unprivileged high class people who are not part of the cabal. Now Indian reality is a mix of Indian section of Xvideos and scam calls. I mean when I was young and in college, I was into subcultures, like indie and hipster I followed Hindi and Urdu rock from Pakistan religiously. That got dismantled and all the people who used to follow western subcultures are being either being tortured, murdered or made bankrupt. I find it funny because the establishment is actually following the American playbook and translating American and other western methods of crowd control into colloquial versions and very crudely, the tragedy is that these motherfuckers can't even copy with finesse. The refinement that was present in lower stratas and the folk culture has been deleted, so that they can be exploited for their crudeness which they weren't earlier. You see Bigg Boss that's a foreign concept and it has been Indianised to feed voyeurism and schadenfreude to public benignity or maligancy of them differing from person to person. Bigg Boss is the actual microcosm of this nation. I still refuse to believe that it's Modiji, or only Modiji because of some very substantial reasons. And for me it doesn't really matter because I have no skin in the game as I belong from Purvanchal and my kundali has already been decided, I will be tortured till I die like the majority of people in the region so I kind of make sure that I listen to some good rock music while I approach my fate and if I manage to write something useful, entertaining and aesthetic, even better. 

Anything Goes

Living is surviving with scars if you are not privileged. There was a time when I used to imagine motorcycling to the mountains setting up a tent and roasting potatoes in campfire. I have realised that it is a dream in this country and even those who are actually doing that in this country it's just performative. It's not like you surviving in Alaskan wilderness and your society is approving of it. We, in this country, live in a multilevel slavery, starting from the government, society, relatives, I won't include family, and directly upto our nerves which again is the real government of this country and as far as my experience with this entity goes these individuals are not very intelligent despite having access to all the knowledge and data including your thoughts and memories and even sensations and very surprisingly incompetent too along with having no regard for human life. It made me finally understand the reality because it is reflected in the external appearance of this country I just didn't know that it was a hundred percent controlled and planned. The chaos India thrives on and people take pride in, is a hundred percent controlled, and so are the rapes of foreign tourists and even Indian women. Who would have thought that, not me at least. Since I have decoded the setup and written about it, there is not much left to write about it though I might still occasionally write my insights about it. All that remains as far as my writing goes is expanding on the beauty and aesthetics I have experienced throughout my life which is fast getting extinct. I have to remember that fantasy is not delusion because it is intentional and so when I read a comics about a half-demon half-man hero fighting a demon to save a little girl in an ancient mythical Indian village I know what I am doing, similar to it a comics about cybernetically enhanced teenagers from India fighting a terrorist organisation related to ancient demon cult in Afghanistan. I have an affinity towards samurai ethos of Japan, I have a liking for samurai swords. They have preserved their heritage, the Japanese, even if it is performative now and you can see instagram samurais performing their art. In India, they have not only disarmed traditional warriors but actively oppress them, and I realise the reason now, because when you are traditionally a warrior it is in your upbringing to oppose wrong which is not very conducive to a society where even dissent is manufactured and protest is performative. Real dissent and protest got left behind somewhere in the 90s and I find it funny because I'm not even a dissenting or protesting kind of a guy, I find it as a waste of time. I just like doing my job quietly. Beauty is of absolute importance here and you must make an active effort in increasing aesthetics in your life, especially the kind of aesthetics you love. As far as my culture goes, the true representation of it is in Sharda Sinha's songs, though I like Midival Punditz and other indie artists rock and otherwise too. I have seen the beauty so I know that it existed, the kids and even the Gen Z won't know the kind of beauty that existed in this country, the joy of community in working in weddings of people in your village. I remember how excited we used to be when we got cable television instead of Doordarshan through the antennas above our rooftops and it even went well till the early 2000s when it all converted into blatant, and not even classy like Doordarshan, propaganda. The Indian comics I loved, the creators of which are now trapped in conflict between Hindi and English, that's how deep the rot is. The comic book writers who raised a generation of kids are now being discriminated on the basis of Hindi and English. Conceiving beauty is hard in these times but try I will. 

Sagan and Cobain

I used to think that existence is complicated, turns out it is not. It is as simple as food, clothing and shelter and money that gets it. And then there is society which depending on your strata can work for or against you. I used to give importance to relationships but then I realised that in the political scenario we live in you can lose your relationships based on the whims of those who control the setup or get exploited on the basis of them. Relationships are in the present political scenario are privileges or liabilities and not something personal and so only give and take relationships, which is again a from of business, matter. Keeping your life simple is the best thing you can do, remove the clutter, cut the crap. Happiness and aesthetics, however, should be chosen to bring some beauty to life. You, if you are not privileged, and by privileged I mean free to rape, pillage and murder people without any consequences, which believe it or not a huge number of individuals in this country are, must focus only on family, money, work, interests and in preserving relationships worth preserving. One of the biggest thing that is a scam, and on which a lot of political narrative is based today is history. History is a scam, always know and remember it, and there is no way to know what actually transpired in the past and to know the truth from the available information you need to have a discerning eye which everyone doesn't really have. Your existence doesn't depend on what you think of yourself but what those who are above than you in power dynamic think of you. And that means they can actually be inferior to you in all regards and yet have a delusional megalomania and a habit of seeing other people as lower than them, and due to the advantage in power dynamic they can make what they think about you, even if their opinion of you is baseless and pulled out of their assholes, true. It's what aligning yourself to power does, it gives you the power to make all your beliefs, even if they are delusions, true. My introduction to the greater setup of this country and probably the world began in 2013, back then I was a romantic guy with interest in science and literature which to a great extent I still am. It is later I realised that I was already being sabotaged and exploited by the region I hail from. The hallmark of Purvanchal, and I have seen Malayalis, Bengalis and people from other regions living outside their region too, is that the individuals who control lives of people in this region, and I would suppose Bihar too, like to humiliate people from "their" region in front of people of other regions and get them exploited by them, it is the standard setting and that means if you belong to Purvanchal, and I would suppose Bihar too, your region is the first thing that betrays you which is not so surprising when I know the truth of the region that it is controlled by genocidal rapists and extortionists who behind the smokescreen of religion, and that too a very dogmatic interpretation of it, are mindlessly torturing, raping and exploiting people. Cinematic level tragedy is how most lives and families end in Purvanchal and presence of Varanasi, the spiritual capital of India in this region, makes it even more hilarious. The bottomline, these motherfuckers, and I know about Purvanchal, are practicing more than  hundred percent neuropolitical totalitarianism which is essentially slavery, and I don't know about other regions but I would guess it would be a bit better depending on your strata and privilege. The incompetence is baffling but then I finally realised that governance was never the goal, the setup is itself a hundred percent optimised for exploitation and rape, and I finally realised that realisation of this fact is actually the ultimate enlightenment. 

Nazar Ke Saamne

I have held some beliefs and I hold them now too. I like sentimental people because I was sentimental once and being sentimental, if you can pull it off in this economy, is great. I couldn't pull it off and adapted to this country, mostly because I don't like surprises and especially of the bad kind and no matter how much touchwood you do that's what is in store for you ultimately in this country. I have had the front row seat to the shitshow this country is, and I have no idea what got me the tickets but my best guess is either it would be doing research in the field of my study and work and writing poetry. Here is the truth about the deep government of this country. These motherfuckers are incapable of finding the truth despite having absolute access to it. They project their delusions on people, mostly innocent people, and make them carry the burden of their megalomaniacal delusions. This is the structure that really controls your life and it is full of entitled, megalomaniacal, narcissistic and unfortunately unbelievably incompetent assholes. Life is cheap here and they rape and murder for fun and even when they are bringing someone to "justice" they just can't do it right despite having access to absolute truth. The rule is "guilty until proven innocent" and funny enough innocence matters shit because it is innocents who they are habituated of needlessly exploiting, raping and murdering, you see the catch here. When I confronted this reality of this nation, my first thoughts were may be I have done something wrong or that may be there has been some misunderstanding, turns out neither had I done something wrong nor there was some misunderstanding. The setup is such that your entire life history, your past, present and future can be rewritten just because someone doesn't likes your face or some other such trivial attribute of yours and that attribute can be anything only thing that you have to do get in the sight of these assholes, that's the only thing that is required and here is where the concept of "nazar" in this country originates from. It's not something occult, it's just the rich of this country and the rapists employed by them for crowd control. I didn't want the truth to be this simple but then here I am with actual truth of this country and, by extension, of the world. So you can realise that there is no God, but then I'll also say that God might not exist the way you have been believing in him or her but if music exists so does God and you can manifest him or her.

Faith and Politics

Is it about faith? I don't know. I don't force faith on to people. Hinduism allows you choose the deity of your choice. What I have learnt in all these years is that the entity that has the power of administration of faith in this country is not only corrupt but also demonic. Faith is nothing to these motherfuckers other than crowd control. I have had my experience with faith and I know that it is certainly bigger than crowd control. I don't trust the temples these bastards build, I don't trust their administration of temples. I do however trust those who go to these temples and those who climb on the temples to change the flags. The first Muslim invasion of India took place in 711 CE and I don't have faith in temples constructed after that. I anyway politically identify as an atheist, although I have personal faith. I don't trust the modern administrators of faith, and I have substantial reasons for that, I don't really like to to visit temples unless and until it's a family obligation. I understood the setup and I realised that Brahmins and priests were just doing the administration of faith, first for Muslims, then for the British and now for the corporations. This enlightenment was a long time coming for me and I finally realised why do I feel more peaceful in temples of Tamilnadu than temples anywhere else in India. Goddess Kamakhya is the clan goddess from my Dadi's side of family and I still have to visit the Kamakhya Temple in Assam to ascertain whether I feel peaceful there or not. Those who can build shiny skyscrapers in Gurgaon can also build temples but then temples aren't only made from concrete and stone they also need faith which these corrupt criminals lack. I believe in Mother Goddesses and I confide in Goddess Chamunda and Goddess Saraswati. I have been able to retrospect on my life and my interactions in this country and I have realised that this country is basically godless and most of the faith and religion, except of the common people, is basically performative. I find more peace in the courtyard of temple at my Nani's village than major North Indian temples. The administrators of faith have sold Hinduism and people's faith and a sold out performative system of faith fails to empower me. We are lucky that ancient masters left enough of literature so that those who are interested in reviving ancient knowledge can work on it. The religion in this country in today's date is a tool for control, blackmail, exploitation and for inducing fear. The religion I believe in empowers through faith. 

(Almost) Foolproof Method to Survive The Banana Republic

It's about the contrast of truths. There are various truths in the world and I have seen the worst of them, and when you see the bottomline the so called good truths don't really matter for people like me it's the same phenomenon like you put shit on a cake and it becomes inedible. One's got to carry on though, in a very existential manner. When we live in a setting where your personal and family history can be altered just based on the whims of some assholes who are not only idiots but also incompetent there is not much left in life anyway. All that remains is earning, taking care of family and having fun. Having fun is important, whether you are an atheist or not, be a modern day Charvaka. Entitlement is a real phenomenon and more often than not it is incurable, humility is for the weak or so the general consensus is in the entity that rules this country. Beauty matters shit anymore, but I like aesthetics and I'll do my part in preserving the aesthetics I like. I remember the times when things were cool, but then I also see the Gen Z enjoying their version of cool. It'll be curious to see how the Gen Z of India would adapt when reality of this country hits them, though most of them have already adapted but it would be curious to see their adaptation when the adulthood pressures build on. There are islands of time in this country, past and future coexist along with keeping people in the lonely penal islands of their own minds. I have cracked the code and I realise that bottomline is your family, money, your work and your interests, this is the bottomline and anything other than that is a privilege including friends and community which can be destroyed anytime based on the whims of entitled and yet somehow magically incompetent assholes. Though the suggestion is to try to build a lot of formal, symbiotic, give and take relationships and acquaintances and not letting them become informal or close relationships. The existence in this country at present both at the physical plane and at the psychological plane, excluding the common people who are just trying to survive, is about dealing with mad dogs. They need to be put down but the difference in power dynamic won't allow you to do so. It's a criminal syndicate moonlighting as providence and there is not a thing that you can do about it except trying to save your own ass and your whole life (hopefully not) might get spent doing so. Here is the trick, fall back to your interests and hobbies or if you don't have them, develop them. Recreation is important and in absence of meaningful relationships, destroying or sabotaging which seems to be the goal, they would come in handy. Existence of God is impossible except when you have found him or her within you or are manifesting him or her through your faith and belief. It's a mediaeval setup in its essence masquerading as fate with embellishments of science and modernity at the top layer and unfortunately most people fail to see beneath the top layer which I think is better for their own sanity. Never abandon your personal truths, they are as valid as someone else's truths but also acknowledge if they are delusions. Truth however ugly it might be is blissful in the long run and knowing the truth of the world would let you create beauty in your own life as well as in the lives of your loved ones. It's a banana republic and so even though you must have love for the land and the beautiful common folk, don't forget to put your hammock between coconut trees and sip your piña colada. Nothing is foolproof here and people are randomly selected for slaughter but we gotta do the best we can to have fun until it's our turn.