Sitting in the room,
Afraid to face the world,
Only because you are different,
And people are ruthless,
You fight a battle in the mind,
And learn nothing about the society,
You become like a frog in a well,
Disconnected from outside world,
Just because you were different,
The world is not a playground,
It's a battle ground,
So hone your skills
And get back into the business.

A new playground,
To unleash your skills,
Even though you are
Tied with the ropes of bygone,
Haunted by the ghosts of your past,
You try to shut the memories,
Because they are traumatic,
They tell you that you are different,
And you feel like you are being choked,
Smothered by your own past.
Reconcile and move on,
The past can't stop you,
Because the future is what
You should pay attention to,
Let bygones be bygones,
And wait for the new dawn.

Connect the dots,
Know the truth,
You were here,
You were there,
How the self changed
And how it coped in hardship,
How it casually forgot
All the pain,
How it tried to shut
Your past away,
Just because a part
Of you was so different,
You will have to overcome
The past and not allow it
To affect you.
You have to bring back the memories
Of pain,sort them out, and tie a little
Happiness to them

I used lies to support myself
When I was weak,
Because the world is not kind
It crushes and destroys
The ones who are weak,
But the lies shouldn't be told
To the self, because the self
Never forgets and and remembers it all,
It gives punishment, for the sin,
And then you suffer,
Lie to save yourself, but to others,
Don't lie to yourself, because later
You will pay,
And you won't have a say.

The change can't stop me,
All I have is a lot of inspiration
For my works of art,
Those are not blocks,
Those are blessings in disguise,
Life is beautiful,
And I need to access
The thoughts that have been
Stopping me, blocking me
And have to tell them
That you can't block me,
I want to look people in the eye
And read their souls.

How to be truthful to self? Why do I have to be someone else to be myself. Why can't I be myself to be the self I am. This is a blog that covers my real life. Life as I experience in a small town, as a small town doctor. I am still not as skilled as I should be, I am still afraid of so many things that I was when I was in school. But then that's how it is.

I took Silica 10 M and I thought I was getting better but then I started feeling the aggravated. I am not feeling so good right now, I got into a mini twitter fight today, where I just spoke the truth today but as always people are not ready for the truth but then it was me who engaged the person. It triggered my delusion a little but then it was fine. I was feeling much better yesterday but today I am not feeling as good.

My first advice to me will be that I should not rush and my second advice would be that I should not block myself and let the truth flow. I am afraid of myself because I am hell bent on destroying myself, but there can be a redemption that if I come back from such a condition then I deserve the change. The change is a very personal thing for me it spans from a room, a village, to a universe for me. There is a universe inside me of which I am aware, there is a voice I have noticed that says all things improper and I try to get in the depth of it. What happened with me is that I lost the sense of self. The change was so big for me that I lost the I and after I became incapacitated the things kept getting worse. I need to get back myself but them my memory is in shambles and I don't know what to do. I am getting crazier day by day and I don't want to recall memories because I am afraid of facing them, in short, I am afraid. I need a divine source to get back the power and I should ask for its intervention.

I don't remember my way going to Chilar and I feel very anxious but I hide it all under my cool demeanor but I know what hell I go through. It's irritating not being able to remember things and probably I should pay more attention. I am in too much pain and I need to have a release. The only help is in being unapologetically me. With all my weaknesses and all my strengths.

A rosy evening
Filled with golden glow
Of the sun.

A sweet pain
A fulfilling rain
A fragrant air
And not one care.

Tea and biscuits
Near the window
Aroma of tea
Gliding in the atmosphere.